Pretty original pairing. I read this for the plot I don't like clops very much. This was actually not that bad as a story. A few odd word choices and grammar mishaps, but not too many as to be confusing. Please write something else though...
Huh.v Cute story. Interesting concept, I admit. I haven't seen any SpikeBloom fics. Then again, this rock I live under is kinda heavy. True, I winced a few times during chapter two. I'm torn between suggesting you go into more detail, or leaving more to the imagination. But then, as you said this is your "last clop," then I suppose you really don't need to worry about it. Choppy here and there, but I still liked reading it.
Clop aside, I suggest going into a little more detail about surroundings, people, etc. How old are they relative to current canon? Same age? A year or two older? How does Pinkie react to their night out (Duh: PARTY!) You don't have to change the story at all if you don't want to, but for future work, it might be something to consider. Looking forward to seeing what else you might have
295717 I mostly meant that it was rather rushed. Like, "first this, then this, then this, then this! ect." Try fleshing descriptions out a little more.
Okay, um...that has to be the worst sex scene I have ever read. It felt so mechanical. There wasn't any passion between the two...that I could see. Also I'm a little disturbed that they went from anal to oral so rapidly. I refuse to go into detail regarding that.
this was good, but felt a little rushed and lacked detail. the wasn't much build up to the sex and it was to short. still better than some messed up stuff I've seen on this site.
I... What... Why did I...
Pretty original pairing. I read this for the plot I don't like clops very much. This was actually not that bad as a story. A few odd word choices and grammar mishaps, but not too many as to be confusing. Please write something else though...
Neat.
Huh.v
Cute story. Interesting concept, I admit. I haven't seen any SpikeBloom fics. Then again, this rock I live under is kinda heavy.
True, I winced a few times during chapter two. I'm torn between suggesting you go into more detail, or leaving more to the imagination. But then, as you said this is your "last clop," then I suppose you really don't need to worry about it.
Choppy here and there, but I still liked reading it.
Clop aside, I suggest going into a little more detail about surroundings, people, etc. How old are they relative to current canon? Same age? A year or two older? How does Pinkie react to their night out (Duh: PARTY!)
You don't have to change the story at all if you don't want to, but for future work, it might be something to consider.
Looking forward to seeing what else you might have
thank you all for such positive feedback :D wasn't expecting so many people to read this!
A bit...quick there, don't you think?
@KonaKonaFan it is a bit short...i could either add some more chapters, or write another clop altogether. you tell me which you want, and i'll do it
295717
I mostly meant that it was rather rushed. Like, "first this, then this, then this, then this! ect." Try fleshing descriptions out a little more.
>>KonaKonaFan ahhh i see what youre saying....thanks for the feedback, i will work on that a little
+=
take ma green thumb and track
Okay, um...that has to be the worst sex scene I have ever read. It felt so mechanical. There wasn't any passion between the two...that I could see. Also I'm a little disturbed that they went from anal to oral so rapidly. I refuse to go into detail regarding that.
...also...'popped'?
okay that was the fastes clop scene i ever read
but its a good read so im going to continue
WHAT FUCKING AGE ARE THESE TWO!? but i still like it but i dont clop to it OR DO I!
That was a little rushed. But okay. Lets see how the rest gose.
this was good, but felt a little rushed and lacked detail. the wasn't much build up to the sex and it was to short. still better than some messed up stuff I've seen on this site.
Spike should turn his swag down a notch if he is getting laid after his first date, or perhaps he should turn it up.
=
cool and all but waaaay to rushed in my personal opinion and could have been more explanatory and all.But thats just my opinion..