I loved Help Thy Lonely Soul and this is just the desert for me

just... huh... this was to say the least a interesting, To say that I didn't feel anything would be a lie for sure. I felt sad for him and a little for Nightmare Moon. What she did to those people was... a bit out of line and very damaging to the mind that would probably require years of phycology to fix that much is sure... I just am full of mix emotions for this story, and I kind of like it? Any who I still enjoyed it. Can't wait to see what you'll be writing next, btw are you going to write something about this Tony guy that Luna was talking about, especially what happened while she was asleep?

2617257
Really? I didn't think it was dry at all.

Stilli1170.photobucket.com/albums/r522/xSputnickx/tumblr_m1uhn0PXwP1r5wav0o1_250_zpsca8042f2.gif

2617324
Hah. Funny

This is kinda how I expected the original story to go to be honest. I want to hope for the best from her, but inevitably she is the embodiment of the evil that was inside Luna as far as I'm concerned. All the good things she tries to do will inevitably be poisoned by her very touch. It's extremely sad when a character that really catches my attention can never have a 'happy' ending, it's always some sort of bittersweet finish to their part of the story arc. Very feel's filled what-if story, and awesome food for thought, appreciate you posting your stuff for us to read!

Wow. Just wow. I guess I was worried for nothing. While this is a darker story then the original, it is still beautiful.
By the way, I can't help but feel that this story needs a better picture. One of her that shows a type of seductive danger. Kinda like this, but not quite.

Anyway, another amazing story in my opinion.
Good luck with all of your endeavors, and looking forward to your next story.

2617471
Not evil. Anger, jealousy, and resentment yes, but not evil.
Plus, you got to remember the words of Shakespeare. There is no good or evil, but thinking makes it so.

2617514
That makes a good point, about her being the more raw side of Luna's emotions. She's like that primal part that most people learn to control, but some of us have more trouble with than others. She seems to be almost purely emotional, never really much logic or deep though to her actions. It's just a mix of pure, unabated emotions driving her actions without much need for thought as to why she does what she does.

This was... I don't know what to think. Feel horrible for Jason but nightmare is who she is unfortunately.

Nice Spin Off but now i love the A.M.A hahaha thanks to them Nightmare didnt go on a psyco rampage

DAMN! Alicorns are really attached to their loved ones. And you just keep uploading these stories, you are a God bro, for writing these fics in such a short about of time, getting 2 of then in the trending box while maintaining its quality
This song right here represents this one-shot perfectly.

"I hate living without You
Dead wrong to ever doubt You
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore You
Oh how I thirst for You
Oh how I need You"

Weird.... when i first looked at this i thought i wasn't going to enjoy it,. but i quite did..

I had to take several breaks form this That was some seriously powerful stuff right nya

Look at all those tags...

Truth be told man... I think I liked this more compared to the actual ending.
This just had more feeling to me. It showed just how jealous and ,he he, toxic Nightmare's love is.
I also didn't really like the Magic Agency thing. I mean, it was fine and it is your story, but for me it seemed a little out of nowhere, whereas this seems perfectly in line with how she could behave. And then, somehow, they end up in Equestria and Jason becomes the antogonist (or at least half of the antogonist) because Nightmare sees the other Alicorns as super threats.

However- I still like your other stories (my favoriting them is testament to that). But this one man, whew. I think you've started to hit your emotional writing stride. Good stuff, man.

I'm... Actually proud of him for some odd reason...

Hey The Watcher 509, you read these stories too.

My heart

That was so different, so fresh, I like that! You weren't kidding when you said alicorns are possessive of their lovers.

Super good. A great kinda "sequel" to Help thy lonely soul. Kinda sad yet exciting at the same time
P.S. when can we expect Immortal lovers to come out? I know you said for people to stop bugging you, but i really like your writing and how all these stories are connected

I honestly thought he was going to kill himself.... oh well.

That was F*cking scary.

2617787

I take your Skillet and raise Lacuna Coil.

"I don't want to be saved,
I want to go down with you
Together we will find a way to come back

I thought it was too late
I thought you disappeared
It's been a while since I believed in you
I used to have the strength
I used to just walk away
But now that I see you
It's not enough, it's not enough

I'm falling once again, I'm following the way
Nothing changed since I believed in you
I knew that it would come,
I thought that I'd be afraid
But now that I have you
It's not enough, it's not enough

Forgotten fears
I'd throw away all the caution out unto the wind
My soul is thirsty, and I'm still dreaming of you
Get out of my mind

Come back (Get out of my mind),
Come back (Get out of my mind)

I don't want to be saved,
I want to go down with you
Together we will find a way to come back

I don't want to be saved,
I want to give into you
Together we will find a way to come back

That was a interesting story. It was toxic love. What well Nightmare moon do when he dies of old age? after all she is inmortoll .

I've Always had a huge thing for fics like these, it was a true pleasure Reading it.

2622868

If you've read Help Thy Lonely Sou;, then you should know just how she plans to keep him with her...forever

2623875

No problem, have you read Help Thy Lonely Soul? If not you might enjoy it

Haha my name is steven!

2623902 any idea when *Faceplam* this is goning to be spelled VERY WORNG. "Eternel lovers" will be out?

Wow!
Another fantastic story. You should really slow down because I haven't gotten any sleep! Still totally worth it.

You do a fantastic job writing the Alicorns. Your version of the Alicorns is hands down my favorite.

Also rumor is your writing a Luna story if so the amount of love you will receive may be dangerous... Luna best pony!

Well I'm gonna try and get some sleep... assuming I don't find anymore of your work. Thank you for these wonderful stories!

Dayem...this story made me feel,I...don't know really, at first, I was happy he got away form that side of her and then, when he was goingt to kill her I was...happy,I was that he was killing her.......................am I a bad brony for feeling this way? GAH, I'm so confused! In one story, I'm right there loving Nightmare with Jason and now in this story.......................man, my head hirts.

2638267

So the question here is...Did you secretly like the fact that Jason was going to kill her.

Or did you secretly love the fact that Nightmare had found him, and was never going to let him go...

2638399 For this story, I'll have to say...secretly loving the fact that he was killing her, but...if I was in his place, I don't know what I would have done. I mite have killed myself out of grife for my family. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

2638426

That you have problems. Sir I recommend you get help...soon

2638448 Now what made you think I had problems? *twitch twitch*

Everypony, run, his crazy!!

Well that was not only creepy, but lovingly crazy.
Great Job!

for some reason i was thinking that he was going to like cut his wrists and hug her one last time and as they were hugging she would feel the warm liquid running down her back then she would find out what he did but it was to late, he was dead/dying idk. it stil ended nicely

2646102 damn, that would've been a pretty dark turn, but for some reason I'd accept it too..
I'll adopt your thought as a headcanon to this ending and I don't care if that's not a thing, I'm-A Do What Ah Want!

but that's not to say the actual ending's bad, or flawed, it's just a different idea that I like just as much. The actual alternate ending is good in its own rights and merits.

2656851 i agree i like both endings ... i just like darker things sometimes. the ending that it is showws that they will love each other no matter what happens and so it is ummm toxic love lol just makes u wan to cry and choke a puppy

2658239

Aye, Jason is bound to Nightmare whether he want's to admit it or not. I had another Idea where Jason openly breaks up with Nightmare because of what she is doing, rather then just running away. And in response she pleads and begs with him to reconsider...but he doesn't.

And so she goes a little bit crazy.

It's okay my love, you must just be confused...But no matter, I will MAKE you love me if I have too. Then we will live happily ever after...and nopony, not even you can change this.

And thus begins the most twisted, erotic and downright disturbing night of his life.

But meh, I'm writing chapter two of Luna's story so I have no time for it

2658390 i do like erotic and downright disturbing night if u know what i mean but ya so far all the story's are wonderful so ill wait to c what u make next.... pleas hurry

in looking at what nightmare moon would to this is spot on and well it did lack overbearing clop scenes it did not need it to make it what is is and that is a good yet creepy story that i most likely will read again

"It's okay my love, you must just be confused...But no matter, I will MAKE you love me if I have too. Then we will live happily ever after...and nopony, not even you can change this." Oh please PLEASE do this story next after Lunas!!!! I beg of you to do it!

2658239 true, the ending is biter sweet and that's why I like both ideas equally. They're two sides of the same coin, if that makes sense.

2659368 it does all in all it meas the same thing just different ways of telling it

Y-you know, that was dark. I mean, every single (except "heart's betrayal", mayhaps) fic of yours is dark, but this one...

Couldn't he just, you know, commit suicide?
Will he?

2662376

I was honestly planning on having him overdose when he finally realized that he would never be able to escape Nightmare...and all the pain she brings with her

2659252

Hmmm, how badly do you want it?

ASAP badly or I can wait badly. .,

2662387 Woe to the Alicorn's beloved ones, then.
Sucks to be him, I'd say. I wonder what would happen to Nighty if Jay died, though. Would that near-everlasting heat (I know it's just lust, but still) of hers be replaced by despair? Or maybe anger? Fury?

Possessiveness can be OK and even really lovely. Right until you become a property.

2662409

Nightmare see's him as her's and nopony elses. She loves him and wants him all to herself for all of eternity.

Calling him her property is way too much of an understatement. Oh and if Jason topped himself and left Nightmare all alone with nothing but guilt and anger to keep her company...

I'm not too sure what she would become...or do.