Of Scotch, Gender-Switching, Doctors and What Have You

by AkemiTheSunbro

The Gender Switch

"Is everypony ready?" Twilight smiled as she gathered her friends in her living room.

"Uh, not really." Rainbow Dash protested.

Twilight frowned. "What? Why not?"

The cyan pony replied. "You don't have the best track record with your magic spells. What if we end up as a member of the Barnacle Battlefront in a high school in the afterlife, fighting against a god or goddess who may or may not exist, because we had terrible lives, but never realizing that it was your spell that sent us there in the first place?"

Twilight paused. "Wha-? I don't even- Anyway, I'm not that bad! I've only made like three mistakes with my magic as long as I've been in Ponyville! Remember that time your special talents got all switched around? Who fixed that mess?"

Rainbow Dash retorted with a question. "And who CAUSED that mess?

"Technically, it was Starswirl the Bearded's spell. But... I did cast it, so... touche. But, we must do the spell I have planned for today. It was Luna's favorite, and I want to honor her. Too bad she died at the last Summer Sun Celebration. Hey, you and Pinkie were there. What happened?"

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash looked to each other nervously, then Dash answered. "Nothing really, we were walking to your library when we found Luna dead. We were shocked, really. We didn't know what to say."

They both sighed in relief as Twilight replied. "Oh. Oh well. On that note, let's get into position. Oh, and about that afterlife thing, the Barnacle Battlefront would be renamed VERY quickly. It would probably be called the Afterlife Battlefront. Anyway, let's go!"

Twilight's horn began to glow with magic, then Rarity asked, "What is exactly does this spell do, darling?"

Twilight paused. "... I have no idea! But I'm SURE I won't tear any wonky holes in any fabric of space and time! ...Maybe."

They all began to protest, shouting things like, "WHAT?!? YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I'M NOT GOING THROUGH WITH THIS! THIS IS INSANE! STOP IT-"

Then, there was a blindingly white flash, stopping their protests short.
_______________________________________________________________________

"Oof..." Duskshine groaned. "What a trip..."

Just then, Butterscotch replied. "Um... Twilight... Your voice is deeper... and you look different-" Then, he gasped. "My voice is deeper too!"

"What... did you do?!?" Rainbow Blitz growled.

"Oh dear..." Duskshine examined himself. "I do believe I changed us into colts! Whoops."

Bubble Berry spoke breathlessly. "But if we're colts, then we're not mares. And if we're not mares, then we must be colts! But can colts bake cakes?" He gasped. "What if I can never bake cakes again? How can I throw parties without cakes? I can't be a party pony if I can't throw a party! And I can't throw a party without cakes! But- HGFHHFGDSHG!" Applejack tackled him and stuck his hoof in Berry's mouth.

"Easy ther' sugarcube. Everything is going to be fine." He looked to Duskshine. "We're goin' to be fine, right Twilight?"

Rainbow Blitz interrupted. "Are you sure that we're colts? Don't you have to check-"

"NO." Duskshine cut off the rest of that sentence. "No. No. No. I have taken enough Anatomy to know we most certainly do not have to check THERE. Let's see. Judging by our body shape... Uh-huh... and the sound of our voice... Fluttershy, can you sing a few notes for me?"

"Um... okay..." Butterscotch shyly said, then began singing. "La, LA, Laaaa."

"Hmm. Just like I suspected." Duskshine concluded. "We are definitely colts."

"Well," Rainbow Blitz replied, irritated. "change us back."

"Um... About that..." Duskshine nervously laughed. "I kinda don't know how."

"So, you mean to tell us," Elusive started, "that your little spell backfired, turned us into colts, sent us to the center of town, and you cannot fix us. This is the Worst. Possible. Thing." As if just realizing where they were, they all examined their surroundings, seeing that they were indeed in the center of town.

Duskshine sighed. "I guess we need Celestia to fix us. Well, let's go to Cantor-"

"SPECIAL DELIVERY FOR MR. DUSKSHINE!" A gray pegasus colt with a blonde mane and eyes that looked in different directions flew over to Duskshine.

He replied. "I guess that's me." He took the paper that the mail pony handed to him. "Hey, what's your name? ... And what's wrong with your eyes?"

The gray pegasus responded. "My name is Derp. Derp Hooves. And what's wrong with my eyes?" Derp frowned as his eyes continued to go in speparate directions.

"Uh... Nothing! Nothing! Hehe..." Duskshine laughed nervously again.

Derp spoke again, "Well, it was nice meeting you guys! It really is too bad Prince Lunith died at the last Summer Sun Celebration. See you guys later!"

"He looked familiar..." Rainbow Blitz pondered.

Duskshine gasped. "Girls- or guys, I should say- look here." He showed them the paper he had received, which happened to be a poster. "It says, 'Prince Astralus cordially invites you to the Midsummer's Eve Ball. It will be held at the Old Castle in the heart of the Everfree Forest.' It has a picture of Celestia. But, look a little closer."

"What's the big deal?" Rainbow Blitz ranted. "It's just a picture of the Princess."

"Hold on..." Elusive gave the poster a closer look. "As a pony that has an eye for fashion, I can see the slightest, small details of things most ponies do not. And from what you have told us, dear Twilight, it seems that Celestia has also become a colt, this Astralus of sorts."

"Exactly." Duskshine stated. "I fear that we not only changed genders, but we leaped dimensions entirely."

Berry gasped. "WOAH! I can be a party pony in more than one dimension! Oh, but how do we get back to our dimension? The ponies there are going to miss my parties if we can't get back! But then I can't be a party pony if ponies can't go to my party! Who am I if I'm not a party pon- JHGSDIJGJDFHGHDGHDFKJ!"

Applejack stuffed his hoof back into Bubble Berry's mouth and sighed. "This is goin' to become a regular thing, ain't it? But she,-or he- has a point Twilight. If indeed we are in a different di-mention, how are we gonna get back?"

Duskshine thought for a moment. "I guess... I guess we try the same way I originally planned. With Celestia's,- or, I guess I should say Astralus'- help. I mean, I was invited to this Midsummer's Eve Ball. Surely he would have to be there."

"But..." Butterscotch squeaked. "...isn't the Everfree forest... dangerous?"

"Indeed." Elusive added. "Did we not almost die twice the last time we visited?"

Duskshine examined the poster again. "It says that there will be an escort. So, I'm sure it will be safe enough."

"Yeah," Rainbow Blitz rebutted. "safe enough until we're nearly killed again."

Duskshine replied, irritated. "We don't have any other choice, so shut up. Let's go."

He began walking towards the Everfree Forest as Rainbow Blitz rolled his eyes and followed, along with the other colts.

Nothing interesting happened until they actually reached the entrance the forest when they met a strange pony. The interaction was... interesting, to say the least.

As they approached the entrance, the pony stumbled over to Butterscotch and pointed. "YOU."

"M-me?" He responded.

The pony continued. "I know- hic!- I know you. You gots the- hic!- You gots the scotch-uh. Hic!"

"I- I'm sorry... I don't know what that is..." Butterscotch replied.

"You name is being- hic!- BuTTeRScoTcH-UH! Hic! I don't care if you put- Hic!- butter in the scotch, just give it to meh! Hehe. Butterfly stars are eating your butt. Give me the SCOTCH!" He spun around and collasped.

"But..." Butterscotch began to quiver. "... I don't know what that is..." He began to sob.

Rainbow Blitz interrupted. "Look dude. Obviously you've had one too many. Leave our friend alone. She- I mean- HE doesn't know what you're talking about, and you're kinda being a jerk."

The drunk pony yelled. "SHADDAP! I KNOW he's got the scotch! He's gotta be- Hic!- hiding it somewhere. Until he- Hic!- I'm gonna chop down all these trees! Hic!"

Butterscotch gasped. "Oh no... the little animals' homes..."

The drunk pony staggered towards the nearest tree as Butterscotch covered his face with his hooves. The pony started punching the tree, not even very hard, and was far from actually cutting it down. Butterscotch uncovered his face and wore a questioning look on his face.

The drunk pony then wrapped one of his arms around the tree, slid to the ground and started singing very badly. "KUMBIYAH, MY LORD! KUMBIYAH! HE'S GOT SCOTCH, MY LORD! KUMBIYAH! HE WON'T GIVE ME SCOTCH! KUMBIYAH!"

He continued the awful singing until Duskshine and his friends just backed away slowly. Once out of earshot, Duskshine sighed. "... I have no words to describe what just happened. Hey, where's Pinkie?"

They looked around and, to be sure, Bubble Berry was not with them. They looked around until Rainbow Blitz raged. "HOW DO WE KEEP MISSING STUFF LIKE THIS?!?"

"HEY!" That was Berry shouting. "OVER HERE, EVREYPONY! I FOUND SOMETHING STRANGE! BUT IT'S WONDERFUL! IT'S STRANGELY WONDERFUL!"

Duskshine and the others followed their friend's voice, only to see him smiling at a strange blue, wooden box with the words 'police box' written at the top. They all began gaping at it.

Applejack spoke up. "What in tarnation is that thing?"

Berry replied with a smile on his face. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out!"

He walked over to the door of the blue box and pushed. Oddly enough, it was open, and he walked in.

"Pinkie Pie!" Duskshine shouted.

Berry poked his head back outside the door with an excited smile bigger that was even bigger than before. "Twilight! It's bigger on the inside!"

Duskshine and the others hesitantly walked inside the strange box. Once inside, they were even more surprised to see that it indeed was bigger on the inside. Although, it was very dimly lit, with the only light source giving off light was a strange machine. Duskshine was the first to break the silence. "How is this possible? THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE!" Just then, the door to the box began to open slowly. "Quick everypony! Hide!" Duskshine shouted.

They all spread out. Duskshine and Butterscotch hid on a scaffolding that encompassed the walls of the 'box'. Rainbow Blitz and Applejack hid under the floor below the machine. Bubble Berry and Elusive hid behind a metal beam.

The door opened to reveal a creature staggering in. "What is that?" Butterscotch asked.

"Shh!" Duskshine shushed then whispered. "I think Celestia told me about that kind of creature once. If I remember correctly, she called it a human. Beyond that, I don't know the first thing about it. I'm sure Rarity is silently going ballistic about the way it is wearing that suit and trench coat together."

The human continued to stagger over to the strange machine and placed a small, glowing stone in an open panel. When he did that, the lights flashed on. He pressed many buttons and pulled a few leavers until the interior of the box shook like an earthquake. Then, the shaking stopped. The human looked at his hand which had begun to glow golden. A distraught expression washed over his face. "... I don't want to go..." He cried.

After he said that, his body exploded in golden light as he screamed. Butterscotch gasped, "We have to help him!" He unfurled his wings to jump from the scaffolding, but was stopped by Duskshine, who shook his head and said, "I don't think we can..."

They could see the human's features changing in the golden light. When the golden light faded, a light brown pony with a dark brown, gelled-back mane stood where the human had been, wearing the same things as the human.

Duskshine was shocked. He didn't know what to say. He flew down to the pony. "How did you do that?" He asked.

"What?" The brown pony asked.

Duskshine continued. "I mean, Celestia told me very little about humans, but I don't know of anything that can just change into something else without magic."

"...What?" The pony said again.

"And this box! It doesn't make sense!" Duskshine said.

"But- How did-" He continued.

"I've never seen anything like this! Everypony, you can come out now!" Duskshine called. They obeyed.

"...What?!" The pony was obviously at a loss for words.

"We need to show this to Celestia!" Duskshine exclaimed.

"WHAT?!?" The pony yelled.

Rainbow Blitz cut in. "Who are you anyway?"

"Oh that's easy!" The pony smiled. "I'm the Doctor."

Author's Note:

Video belongs to CShep99. I do not own it.

Comments

[Musical Clyde]

I see what you did there with theAngel Beats reference. :-)

[ShadowLDrago]

I feel he need to point out that Derpy's Rule 63 name is Dopey Hooves, Celestia is Prince Solaris and Luna is Prince Artemis. Otherwise, nice start.

[Aether Spark]

Be sure to separate the Dusk and the Shine.