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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Derp... uh... let me know if this needs Mature rating...
First off, THE PONIES NEED KNOWLEDGE OF ALL HUMAN CULTURES!
Second, SO MANY CHRISTIANS ON THIS WEBSITE! I FEEL SO ALONE!
Third, MOAR!
219050
Understood, my good- I wanna say atheist- friend.
The reason I only talked about it a little bit, is because he wasn't really in the mood for a looooong lesson on earth history. I will have him talk more about earth later.
As to your third note: HELL YEAH MOTHERBUCKER! It's on the way!
We need a pissed Dylan noowwwwwww, u
Made fluttershy cry? Dylan smash
219124
Fuck! Holy shit! Complete honesty, YOU JUST FUCKING PLOT RADARED ME! How did you know I was gonna do that?!
219132
this isnt the first time this happened, it was pretty obvious as i guessed it to be a flutter ship, hmm elemants of disharmony..... elemantssss, theres more guys with awesome powers ?
219412
Derp. Well duh, Fluttershy is just TOO DAMN NICE! I can't friggin' help it!
:D
Also, never said that the Elements of Disharmony were all carried by MALES.
Chew on that spoiler for a bit.
219475
hehehehheheheheheheh, i like where that is going.... lemme guess youre gonna be typical and get a lesbo dash or something like that...... or are you.... man im drunk, this comment will come back to haunt me
219491
Funny, was also going to leave my own take on that whole "Dash likes girls." thing. I won't spoil anything, though.
Also, what the fuq does a lesbo dash have to do with female BotEoD (Bearers of the Elements of Disharmony)?
219558
i have no idea.............
219567
Shit like that happens when you're drunk.
Chapter 4 will have... MOAR FIGHTING! It's not even to the crazy bits yet!
P.S.: Why the hell haven't I had a chapter with no conflict yet? Because I AM A MAN! HIT SHIT, SHOOT SHIT, BURN SHIT, PREFERABLY DON'T EAT SHIT!!! Testosterooooooooooones!
Who needs alcohol to be crazy when you're like this normally?
I am awaiting elements of violence and deceit, discrimination ect.
Should prove interest methinks.
219677
I've got them all ready. I'm actually thinking of having you guys PM me some ideas for the other element bearers.
So far, we only have Rage, which is polar opposite (IMO) to Laughter.
I'll reveal the others soon.
I'm still working on the fourth chapter.
Grr... My brain hurts. Sorry I couldn't have chapter four up, but Tuesday was busy.
After I stop the jackhammer in my head, I'll get it up, I swear.
Don't kill me.
when are the other 5 gonna appear?
222898 and why not you had a manticore attack fluttershy, don't think you're gonna get off easy for that one.
Three chapters in, iffy on how accepting dylan is of the situation, but loving how much of a hypocritical, self important dick he is. Reading more.
"Nice to make an acquaintance with you, Dylan."
i have absolutely no idea why, but what ran through my mind when i read this was "bacon bacon BACON BACON" (it confused me in a plethera of ways)
Getting a huge 'Neverwhere' vibe from the guy in the dream sequence...He's basically a mix of Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemarr...Me likey.
Two things:
I've been awake since 4 AM, and I haven't eaten yet. It's now 7 AM.
Second, this is an awesome story, and I'm sorry that I had skimmed it before.
I wonder what the other elements of disharmony are.
Alright, time for feedback! I told you I'd get around to this!
-The story is pretty much grammatically sound from what I have seen. There were a few small things, like missing capitals and such, and the formatting was a bit boring. My main issue with the writing is the pacing, as right now its all over the place. Some scenes play out nicely and feature some nice descriptions, whilst others seem to be driven entirely by dialogue and jump around a bit. In all it feels pretty unpolished.
-I just don't get the character. In the beginning his main driving forces are fear and anger. He reacts quickly and rather drastically to a misheard conversation, and pummels a manticore with a rock and his bare hands. He's having violent and bloody dreams, but as soon as he's awake, he's wandering about Ponyville criticising their architecture and chatting with locals. There is little mention about how the sudden shift in reality is effecting him on a mental level.
Also,
Is he a misanthropist?
-This next criticism is purely opinionated. I'm having hard enough time taking threats from a pony named Rainbow Dash seriously, but when the word fuck is replaced by buck? All my disappoint. Applejack must have one of the unluckiest job titles in the whole of Equestria.
And going back to the first chapter. Discord pops out of his stone prison and his character as well. His change in character happens in an instant, almost like he decided to flick on the 'mean-mode' switch on the back of his head. There was nothing that drove that change besides Discord just deciding that he was going to be like that.
-At the moment its drifting toward the overused events that you see in 90% of HiE fics. As I said above, he's gone from beating up manticores to wandering the town and socialising with locals. This could end badly.
This post is kind of all over the place. Its late, and my bed beckons to me.
That guy that writes things about stuff... or something,
-Sparklight
Silly Mac