Soup's "Tales of Merriment"

by Boner_Soup_007

Breaking Dawn Part 3 "Heavenly Toast"

It was a gorgeous day in Ponyville, the sun was shining, making for a great day to have some toast! We find the young colt Haven making his breakfast, and toasting bread in his toaster. Haven loved toast more than anything in the world, he could eat it with pretty much anything. Haven was making an egg toast sandwich as he had a big day in front of him, he was asked to go repair the altar where Ponyville had it's weddings. Last night he got the call that it needed immediate repair, as there was to be a wedding. It was pretty unexpected, so Haven had to go get this job done quick. He grabbed his breakfast and left.

As Haven was walking, he saw his good friend Breezy, talking to some pony he had never seen before, he didn't want to interrupt so he ignored him. Haven walked over to the altar, where he saw his boss. "Haven, we need you to get this done in an hour" said Haven's boss "But, sir, the entire roof is collapsed, it's going to take longer than that to fix it." replied Haven "Well…" said Haven's boss "If we don't get this done in time, we're gonna lose a lot of bits….Are you sure you can't do it?" "Hm…" said Haven "I could try I guess bu-" "Well great!" said Haven's boss, interrupting "'ll leave you to it! See you later Haven!" and Haven's boss left. "Well crap…" said Haven "Let's do this…" and he got started whilst eating his breakfast.
Haven worked as fast as he could, and he got the job done, but there was one problem. There was a floor board that had been glued to one of the bases of the altar, and it needed to dry for another day….Haven decided to leave it as is, it was nearly impossible that the bride or groom would step on it, considering they'll only be at the center of the altar. Haven packed his things, and decided to head home and change for the wedding, he thought he might as well attend, to ensure no one would be unsafe.

Haven went home, and took a relaxing bath. He needed a break, from all that hard, and very rushed work he had to do. He got out of the bath, and dried himself off, he looked over to his cider cabinet…Haven didn't want to drink before going to an event like this, but he was so tense. He thought "How can I have a good time if I'm all tensed up? I'll just have one glass to calm myself." Haven walked over to the cider cabinet. He poured himself a glass of his hardest cider "Granny's Iron Apple Hammer". He grabbed it, and drank it. Haven felt good, the drink made him feel so good, he decided to pour himself another…and another….and another… Haven drank the entire bottle of cider, and was completely intoxicated. "Pffft, all the fillies want me, they think you're ugly!" said Haven to his chair. Haven destroyed nearly half the items in his house under the influence of his cider. Haven decided it would be a good a idea to make toast. He grabbed his toaster, and toasted 7 loafs of bread entirely over the course of several hours. Haven was still in his bathrobe, and he was just staring at his toaster, in complete silence. "…Toaster…" said Haven "I…I lo-*hic* I love you toaster… I've wanted to tell you that for so long." Haven grabbed his toaster and caressed it, he walked over to the bathroom, and grabbed some "GoldFawnd", his favorite lubricant. Haven nearly drowned his toaster in it, and whipped out the big long, black, and rubbery extension chord. Haven connected the toaster in his bathroom, and let it heat up. "This is going to be the best thing I ever did in my *hic*….er…life." Haven said, as he got in position. Haven got started he felt how warm the toaster was on his long, and throbbing hard horse face……when he passed out, tossing the toaster in his bathtub! All the electricity went out in Ponyville…

Author's Note:

Soup's Notes: Haven is a cutey :3