My Little Roommate

by The Equestrian Gentlecolt

Prologue (Key Lime's perspective)

I never really believed that stuff about “Apartment 13” being haunted. Yes, I’d heard the stories. Strange noises at night, lights on inside when nopony was supposed to be living there, that sort of nonsense. It was a ramshackle second-story apartment in the most run-down part of Canterlot. Between that and its unfortunate numbering, it was no surprise there were a few silly superstitions around it.

Many ponies had tried renting it, of course. It wasn’t the most convenient location, but it was cheap, and available. They never stayed, though. They always left after a few days, saying they really wanted to find somewhere “closer to the school.” I figured they just let the place’s reputation get to them, and got tired of jumping at every shadow.

I never really believed in all that superstitious nonsense - until I met my new roommate.

I should introduce myself. My name is Key Lime, although most ponies just shorten it to “Lime”, and I’m a student at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. That’s gifted in magic, mind you, not in finances. I’m living on a rather sizable student loan right now, but I remain hopeful that a degree in Applied Runecraft will make paying it off a snap.

Of course, my special talent is supposed to be in music... but the odds of making a career out of playing the guitar are somewhere between “Princess Celestia showing up at your door in a bathing suit” and “meeting a talking monkey.”

At least we know I have the luck for it. One out of two’s not bad, all things considered. I’ll just have to keep hoping for the other.

Anyway, this is my first year in the school. I got the entrance exam scheduled at the last minute, so by the time I got accepted, apartments came in one of two flavors: expensive, and taken. All except for one. You’ve got one guess which one that might be.

I’m Key Lime, the latest brave soul to try to live in Apartment 13. This is my life. Cue the theme song.

---

Livin’ it up in Apartment 13.
Got a little piece of the Equestrian Dream.
Just moved to Canterlot, it was all so confusin’,
Until I met up with my friend the human.
He’s not just your average college town colt,
But underneath it all, he’s got a heart of gold.
He’s not my type, but then, in the end,
What I really needed right now was a friend.

---

Seriously, who comes up with this garbage? That hardly even rhymes. And you call that a chord progression? More like a bored progression. I could write something better than that in my sleep. Drunk.

Anyway. You don’t want to hear about awful theme songs, you want to hear about the talking monkey.

It was overcast. It was always overcast in this part of Canterlot. It wasn’t the clouds. I’m sure it was sunny somewhere up there. It was the buildings. This was the part of Canterlot under the part that everypony sees. Tall, beautiful buildings towered above me as I made my way through the streets, their looming presence enough to block out most of the sunlight. The elegant cobblestone roads of the upper city crossed right over the little dirt paths I was following, long bridges holding them primly above the dust and grime below.

Canterlot was a city of layers, and I was trotting through the lowest one, my last hope held firmly in my mouth. “Looking for roommate. $250/month. Apply at Apartment 13.” I had carefully gathered 250 bits into a pouch, all ready to hand over. This was the last place on my list, and I really didn’t want to spend my next night on the street. I have some standards, after all.

My mood started to lift as the place came into view. It was up on the second story of a series of apartments carved into a short cliff face, a bit above the gloom I was trotting through. A ray of sunlight had even found its way between the two buildings across from it, shining down on the entrance as if Celestia herself were telling me I had finally found my way home.

Things were definitely looking up. I climbed the stairs quickly, at more of a canter than a trot, and knocked a hoof against the door.

“Hold on, I’ll be right there!” a male voice called from inside. I heard movement, then the door opened, revealing... well, you know. A talking monkey.

If I was staring, he didn’t notice, because he was too busy staggering backwards, blinded by the sudden sunlight. Then he sort of stared forward for a second with a confused look on his face before he finally looked down and saw me.

I have to admit, I’ve never seen a monkey before. Still, I’m pretty sure most monkeys have more fur than this one did. He had almost no fur except for his mane, although he was wearing clothes to cover up the baldness. His mane was a reddish brown that might have looked distinguished on a stallion, but just looked silly on him.

Definitely not what I was expecting, but okay. I can roll with this. I’ve seen weirder... I think.

“You’re a horse,” he said helpfully. Great. So we were starting with the basics.

“You’re a monkey,” I pointed out, keeping the flier I had picked up between my teeth.

“Hold on, I’ll be right back.” He shut the door.

At this point, I’d had about enough of this. I was tired, hungry, and down to just the bits I had gathered together for the first month’s rent here. When he reopened the door, I decided to hurry things along a bit. “So, you still looking for a roommate?”

The creature looked around, and over the edge of the apartment’s little balcony, as if looking for other ponies before speaking. “Uh... yeah. I take it you’re interested?”

I brightened immediately. Now we were getting somewhere! “Sure am! I’ve got my share of the rent right here. I hope you don’t mind if I move in right away. It’s kinda a long story, but I need a place like today.” I picked the pouch of bits up out of my saddlebag and levitated it over to him.

I gave him a good thirty seconds of staring blankly at it before I got impatient again. “Are... you going to take it, or what?” He took it, and opened it, but he seemed confused by what he saw.

“Are these... gold coins?”

“They’re bits. You’ve seriously never seen bits before?” Come on, you’re living in Canterlot, how could you not have seen bits before?

“Uh, no, look uh Miss...”

“Key Lime,” I provided.

“Miss... Keylime. I don’t think this is going to work out. I’m not sure where you’re from, but I can’t pay the rent with bits. I’m pretty sure they only accept paper or plastic here.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by the expression, but it was obvious that this wasn’t going to happen. I tried to keep the disappointment off my face, but I don’t think I succeeded. I’ve always been pretty easy to read. “I guess I’ll have to keep looking.”

“Yeah. I guess so.”

“This was the last place I had to try.”

“Sorry.”

“Well, bye then.”

“Bye.”

I turned away and started down the steps before the waterworks could start in earnest. Damn my wearing my heart on my collar. I heard the door shut behind me, but I was too deep in my own misery to pay attention to it.

That was it. That was the last possible place, and somehow, I’d just blown it. From here, it was either sleep on the streets or go back home. I’d be damned if I was going to give up now, after I had already passed the entrance exam, so... the streets it was, then. Maybe I could find a nice soft pile of dirt to curl up on.

“Wait!” I heard the creature open his door back up and hurry to the top of the stairs. I tried to wipe off the tears with a hoof, then turned around to see what he wanted. “You... forgot your bits,” he said, holding out the bag.

“Oh.” Right. And here I thought he had changed his mind. “Thanks.”

“Look... you can stay. We’ll work something out, okay?”

I lifted my head, almost not daring to believe my ears. I could stay? I could stay! I had finally found a place!

“My name’s Dave, by the way. Come on, I’ll show you your new place. I’ll warn you, it’s not much to look at.”

“That’s okay, neither are you.” Well, it was true. I trotted back up the stairs, and past the creature to check out my new home.

I’m Key Lime, the latest brave soul to try to live in Apartment 13. I have a human for a roommate. This is my life.

Comments

[bandgeekjim]

Interesting. I would really like to see how this turns out. Please keep writing.

[UseFistNotMouth]

That was remarkably interesting and well written.
Despite the bizarre nature of the meeting, human x pony companionship stories are my biggest weakness.
Not sure where the story could go from here...
Maybe you could get a team of writers together like they do on sitcoms to hash out story lines and dialogue?

[StarSorio]

very nice story, it's seems well done and i'd like to see how it turns out later

[Meta Knight]

Excellent

[Hoopy McGee]

I know you said this was on hiatus, and that you may not continue it. I'm tracking it anyway, because a man can dream, can't he?

I like it. Very well written, easy flowing and fun. I'll pay you an imaginary million dollar bill to keep writing it. (warning: imaginary currencies in impossibly high denominations are not usable as cash, and may result in arrest if you try to actually spend it).

[CoastalSarv]

I don't know why he isn't more weirded out, but I like that you didn't spend too much time on that. (It is understandable she isn't - Equestria is a world with many different sentient species, so ponies are mentally adjusted to their possibility.)