The Foals of Harmony: Equestrian Rhapsody

by Rainy Meadows

Chapter 3 - Combine Efforts part 2

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead
Mama, life has just begun
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away...

Spike yawned, very loudly and profusely.

“I don’t see why had to get up so early,” he said.

“Because the lightning bolt is right on the other side of the Everfree Forest,” Twilight Sparkle pointed out. “And we want to get there while it’s still daylight. Look at the sun, it’s almost noon now!”

“Even when I was flying at top speed, it took me three hours to get there,” Rainbow Dash stated. “And another three hours on the way back.”

“I do wish this silly bolt could have struck a little closer to home,” Rarity complained. “Why we have to battle our way through the Everfree Forest is beyond me.”

“D’you think you could quit worryin’ ‘bout your mane for just one day?” asked Applejack.

“Well, sorry Applejack,” said Rarity, “but some of us do have standards, you know.”

“Not to worry, girls,” said Twilight. “We’re almost there.”

Twilight’s optimism didn’t take long to bear fruit. It was only a few more minutes before the trees finally opened up to the grassy plain between the trees and the nearby mountains.

Something was lying on the ground below the lightning bolt. Its angular body was dwarfed by the three enormously long legs that tapered out of the corners. The entire thing was coated in smooth metal of a light tan colour, apart from the ends of the legs which were a darker brown colour and frighteningly spiky. It was terrifying, and the fact that it was completely lifeless did little to reassure the ponies about its presence.

And they weren’t alone. Somepony had beaten them to it.

“Hex?” said Rainbow Dash. “What’re you doing here?”

“Seeing if this thing is dangerous,” said Hex, “and I thought I told you and your friend to stay away. You shouldn’t be here, Rainbow, especially in your condition.”

“My condition?” Dash demanded.

“W-What is that thing?” asked Fluttershy nervously. “That is, if you know, I mean.”

The machine began to hum, low pitched and quietly, but it was enough to make Hex jump back and drop the stethoscope he had been using to listen to it.

“It’s alive!” he shouted. “Everypony get back!”

Slowly, the three legs were steadied upon the sloping ground, and the machine pushed itself up to its full, petrifying height. It rotated to face the ponies, and then started to shoot at them, and they immediately scattered, screaming.

Twilight stayed where she stood and tried to conjure a shield to protect herself and Spike, but her horn spluttered briefly and was silent. So she tried again. And again, and still it didn’t work.

“Twilight, come on! Move!” Spike shouted in desperation.

“Why isn’t my magic working?” Twilight said to nopony in particular.

“GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Hex commanded, and Twilight was forced to abandon her magic attempts and dart around to avoid being shot.

“Twilight! Over here!” Rainbow Dash called, and Twilight galloped into the trees and hid behind a rock.

“What in tarnation is that thing?” asked Applejack.

“And why is it trying to kill us?” said Fluttershy shakily.

“That’s easy!” squeaked Pinkie Pie. “It’s a... a... I got nothing.”

“I don’t know what their commanders call them,” said Hex, “all I know is that people call them Striders. And they are dangerous with a capital D-A-N-G-E-R-O-U-S. The only way to take them down is with some pretty heavy firepower, and last I checked there isn’t anywhere in Ponyville that sells rocket-propelled grenade launchers.”

“Oh no,” Twilight moaned, “What’re we going to do, Spike?”

There was no answer.

“Spike?”

A horrifying thought entered the purple unicorn’s mind. She peered around the edge of the rock, and saw her fears confirmed as her no. 1 assistant was clambering up the Strider’s leg.

“Spike, what’re you doing?!” shouted Hex. “You’ll get yourself killed!”

Spike ignored him and continued to pull himself up the leg until he was sitting right on top of the Strider’s body, which started to whirl around and tried to shake him off.

“Hold on, Spike!” said Rainbow Dash. “I got your back!” She flew up into the sky – quickly, to avoid being shot – and hovered just behind the baby dragon, ready to catch him if he fell.

“Now I’m up here,” he asked, “what do I do?”

“See if you can tear something off!” Hex commanded.

Spike examined the smooth surface upon which he was seated. There wasn’t anything to pull off, but a dark line across one of the triangle’s points suggested that there might just be room for a baby dragon to fit his claws in like this and pull the metal sheet away like that, and within seconds the strider’s inner workings were revealed.

‘That looks important,’ he thought to himself, and tore out a bunch of fizzing wires.

Almost immediately, the Strider seemed to become confused. It twisted and turned, this way and that, and Spike came very close to flying off.

Then the air surrounding its underside began to distort, with a strange sucking noise and a blue light blinking into life underneath.

“WARP CANNON!” yelled Hex. This was the sign for the ponies to scatter once more, but Twilight, who was distracted by one failing attempt at magic after another, stayed where she was and only moved when Hex dived straight at her and they rolled over and over in the undergrowth, just as the spot where she had been exploded and left a huge crater.

Up on the Strider’s main body, Spike located a large box to which all the wires were connected. Instinct told him to rip it out. So he did, and instantly the Strider collapsed and Spike was forced to dive into Rainbow Dash’s waiting hooves.

“Uh, Hex?” said Twilight.

“Yeah, Twilight?”

“I’m grateful for you saving my life, but do you think you could get off me?”

“Oh!” said Hex in realisation, and he leapt off her. “Right. Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” said Twilight. Her gaze wandered to the fallen, now completely lifeless Strider.

“Where did that thing come from?” she asked.

“It’s from another universe,” said Hex.

“What? Wait, wait a minute, back up a moment. There’s another universe?”

“Sure,” said Hex. “Loads of people think there are an infinite number of universes and they’re all the same, but really there’s only a hundred and they’re all completely different. It’s a long story, which I’ll be happy to tell you as soon as we’re out of here.”

“Watcha mean, outta here?” asked Applejack. “What if there’s another of those Strider doohickies?”

“If there were more, they’d have come through by now,” said Hex, as he approached the dead machine which was slowly oozing a dark red liquid which was not unlike blood. “Something tells me Spike’s only killed the scout. By the way, Spike, good work. I’d hate to get caught between you and a barrel of gemstones; that was incredible.”

“Ah, it was nothing,” said Spike.

“No, Spike,” said Hex. “You tore out its battery and shut it down for good. You just did a whole lot of ponies a really big favour.” He looked at the sun.

“You’d all want to get moving if you want to get back to Ponyville before sundown.”

“Are you kidding?” said Pinkie Pie. “We just spent the best part of seven hours getting here. Not even I could manage that twice in one day.”

“Well, you could crash at my place if you like,” said Hex. “It’s closer.”

“YAY!” shouted Pinkie Pie. “It’ll be just like a slumber party! We can tell ghost stories and make s’mores and have pillow fights and...”

“We’d be glad to take you up on that offer,” said Twilight as Pinkie, behind her, excitedly exclaimed “Do you think we could play charades?!”

Twilight opened her eyes and rubbed them sleepily.

At first, she thought it had been the soft early morning sunlight that had woken her up, but then she realised that somepony was playing a guitar. It wasn’t a tune that she recognised, but she listened to it anyway because it was simply beautiful. It wasn’t like anything she’d ever heard before.

She tried to get up and out of the hammock she’d spent the night in, but since she was still half asleep she crashed to the floor. She quickly looked around, but everypony else was still gently snoozing.

‘They deserve it,’ she thought, ‘especially after what happened yesterday.’

There was some kind of door shaped structure that hadn’t been there the day before. Twilight ignored it: obviously Hex had been busy in the night.

It didn’t take her long to discover the source of the music; Hex was sitting in the corner of the shop, surrounded by tools, blueprints and scraps of wire, and he was cradling the guitar as lovingly as he would a newborn foal.

“Hex?”

Startled, the brown unicorn let the wooden instrument drop to the floor.

“Twilight!” he said. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up? It’s alright; I’ll just-just put this away...”

“Have you been up all night?”

“Yes,” Hex admitted. “Usually I have my stereo on, but I didn’t think you or your friends would appreciate having Bon Jovi playing while you were trying to sleep, so I went without. I gave up trying to sleep around five in the morning and thought I’d get on with some designs.”

‘Funny,’ Twilight thought as he stood up, ‘once you get used to it, you don’t really notice his accent that much.’

“That was very considerate of you,” she said. “Thank you for letting us stay here.”

“Like I said, any friend of Rainbow Dash is a friend of mine,” said Hex, “and I wouldn’t want my friends to get all worn out and sweaty. Especially not Rarity; I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let her get her mane all messed up.”

He had a very unusual laugh, Twilight noticed. It wasn’t cold or mirthless or callous, and it didn’t make her feel embarrassed or ashamed. Hex had a warm, comforting laugh, and it was very inviting. It made Twilight wonder why she wasn’t laughing herself.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.

“Shoot.”

“Where do you come from? Your accent isn’t like anything I’ve ever heard before. You’re not from Ponyville, I know that much. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you weren’t even from Equestria.”

“Alright, you got me,” said Hex. “I was wondering how long it was going to take.”

“So where are you from?”

“Well, you know how I said the Strider came from a different universe, and that there were only a hundred when most people think there’s an infinite number?”

“Yes?” said Twilight. She wasn’t sure she liked where this was going.

“Out of all of them,” said Hex, “this one is number 36. I’m from number 1. More specifically, a little place down south by the name of Melbourne.”

“You’re an alien?”

“Yes.”

“You’re an alien,” said Twilight sceptically, “from a different universe, who lives on top of a mountain and runs an electrical shop, building a-a GLaDOS in your spare time?”

“I know,” said Hex. “The side fic just writes itself, doesn’t it?”

“How is that possible?”

“I try not to think about it too much,” said Hex. “When I do, my head starts to hurt with all the memories – the good, the bad and in particular the ugly – and it takes quite a few hours for me to quash those memories again. All I know is that I came back to this dimension because I fell in love.”

“Oh,” said Twilight, trying not to let the disappointment show.

Hex wandered out the door and stood on the ledge outside, and Twilight trotted up to join him.

“I fell in love with this,” he said, and Twilight looked.

The view was spectacular. All of Equestria was spread like great, magical table cloth below her. Yeah, a table cloth, that seemed the best description. Trees were like fuzzy green matchsticks sticking up out of the ground, and the buildings in the various towns were like beetles. She couldn’t see any ponies, most likely because it was so early in the morning.

“It’s...” She searched for the right word, “beautiful.” She couldn't remember the last time she had just... looked.

“Isn’t it just?” asked Hex. “Look, down there, that’s Ponyville, and over there’s Cloudsdale. Canterlot should be somewhere over in that direction and Fillydelphia’s somewhere over there. You can see Trottingham from the other side of the mountain.”

“It’s incredible,” said Twilight. “Not just the view, but how you know so much about Equestria.”

“Well, I’ve been here quite a while, you know,” said Hex. “I thought you were familiar when I first saw you, then I remembered I’d seen you before at the Winter Wrap-Up in Ponyville. And at the Grand Galloping Gala. Thought you were pretty cute.”

Twilight blushed and grinned nervously.

“I thought you looked a bit odd when I first saw you,” she said. “You don’t look like a unicorn at all. You look more like an earth pony who stuck a horn on his head to try it out.”

“I was an earth pony the first time I came here,” Hex explained. “Then in the time I spent away I managed to acquire some powers, and they sort of got translated into unicorn magic. Every universe has its own laws of physics, and they alter you to fit in. My friend was rather alarmed to find she had four legs when she’d spent her entire life with two.”

“Your kind had only two legs? How did they stay upright?”

“You know, I have no idea. I know all this stuff about electrical conductivity and circuit boards and I don’t even know how I stood upright before I was a pony.”

“I have no idea what either of those things are,” said Twilight.

“Don’t worry,” said Hex, “you’re not the first pony to tell me that.”

“That reminds me,” said Twilight. “It must get kinda lonely up here. Do you have anypony? I mean, like a marefriend? That is, if it isn’t too personal a question.”

She cursed herself for that question.

“Well,” said Hex, “there was only ever one girl I had really my eye on, and after her nopony compared.”

They stood in silence as the sun rose higher into the sky, but it still couldn’t compare to the lightning bolt which danced on the very edge of Equestria. Twilight looked down at her home country, and took in every last miniscule detail.

“It’s too big,” she decided. “By the way, what was that tune you were playing?”

“It was nothing,” said Hex. “It’s just this song I know, which keeps going on about a girl who hated her life and preferred dreams to reality. It’s a good song, if a little pretentious.”

“I don’t think it sounded pretentious at all,” said Twilight. “I think it was the most beautiful tune I’ve ever heard.”

Hex smiled, Twilight smiled, and for a moment Equestria was a world of perfect peace.

Not for the first time in her life, Twilight experienced something she couldn’t explain. In the space of only a few seconds something that had been absent in her mind for years and years had suddenly blinked into being. Standing here admiring Equestria’s early morning tranquillity with anypony else would most likely have felt ordinary; just another moment of observation and yet more learning. But somehow, with this particular stallion with the unidentified accent, the electric cutie mark and the unwashed mane, she felt safe. Safer than she ever had in all her life.

She looked at his eyes and saw the dawn sunlight dancing in those oceans of brilliant green. She also saw the reflection of...

“Uh oh!” she exclaimed. “Look out!”

Twilight and Hex fell to the ground and clutched their hooves over their heads as the wave of blue energy washed over the mountain, and once again the world felt as if it was turned upside down, rocked from side to side, twisted the right way up again, then turned inside out and finally returned to normal.

“What was that?” Twilight asked once it was over.

“It’s a portal storm,” Hex explained. “You said there was another in Ponyville – did you see anything come through?”

“No,” said Twilight, “there was nothing, apart from destruction, chaos and mess.”

“Good,” said Hex, “that means it’s not powerful enough yet. See, what you have there isn’t a lightning bolt. Maybe it was a lightning bolt in the past, but that was probably just to gather enough power. Now it’s the very, very early stages of a superportal, and if we leave it as it is, then any day now we might get a visit from... No. No, I don’t even want to consider thinking about it.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Hey Hex, where’ve you got to?” shouted Rainbow Dash from inside the shop.

He stared Twilight straight in the eye, his face wrought with terror and dread.

“The Combine.”

“What’s th-the Combine?” asked Fluttershy. “I mean, if you know, that is.”

“The Combine is a massive empire spanning more than their fair share of universes,” said Hex, “but the place they took the most interest in was dimension 33. My friend and I went there twice; I think she may even have gone back a third time, even got a tattoo inspired by that place, and let me tell you it was nowhere near pleasant. Back then though, I found it fascinating. It’s something I’ve come to regret more than anything else.” He extracted a photo album from a pile of rubble, and laid it open on the floor.

The pictures were... horrible beyond description. Fluttershy gasped and buried her tearful face in Applejack’s mane; Applejack herself couldn’t bear to look beyond the third page. Rarity yelped, covered her eyes with her hooves and refused to see again. Rainbow Dash clapped a hoof to her mouth and hurried away with her cheeks bulging, although probably not due to the horrific scenes depicted in the photos. Pinkie Pie screamed and started to wash out her eyes with a hose inexplicably produced from her saddlebag. Spike outright refused to look in the first place, and resolved instead to watch the superportal from the safety of the window.

“It’s awful!” said Twilight. “So much... blood.” Hex nodded solemnly and closed the photo album, upon which was inscribed the words “NEVER AGAIN”.

“Never again,” he said. “That’s a phrase which I knew wouldn’t hold out.”

“Isn’t there anythin’ we can do?” asked Applejack in a shaky voice.

“I’m afraid there’s only one way to get the Combine to leave,” said Hex, “and that’s to persuade them that this world isn’t any use to them. It’s not exactly easy though. Mostly all they want to do is kill, kill, and kill some more. And if they don’t kill you? They just extract your memories and make you one of them. They nearly did that to me, but they saw who they were dealing with and... changed their minds.”

“Uh, guys?” said Spike. “I think something else is coming through.”

Hex and Twilight hurried over to the window, and sure enough a glowing, bright blue pod had just dropped away from the glowing, swirling clouds that surrounded what was becoming a superportal.

“One of those already?” For what was most likely a very rare moment, Hex seemed confused.

“One of what?” asked Twilight.

“It’s an Advisor,” Hex explained. “They’re the ones that call the shots in the Combine, and you do not want to get on the wrong side of one. On the other hoof, this could be a golden opportunity to show them the door.” He cantered over to the door-like structure, pressed a button on the side, and then the entire frame was engulfed in light. It made horrendous sucking noise, like a vacuum cleaner that had just downed a barrel of extra-caffeinated coffee.

“Right then!” Hex yelled over the din. “In we go!”

“What?” shouted Twilight. “Are you crazy? What the hay is that thing?”

“Before you got to the superportal I set up a teleporter!” Hex explained, so loudly that his voice crackled from strain. “This is a second one! It should take us straight to the sight of the lightning bolt without all that fuss about magic!”

“Are you sure it works?”

“My gizmos generally work, and I have a hunch that this one will too!”

“His hunches are good!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “You should listen to this guy, Twilight, he knows this stuff!”

“Is it meant to be suckin’ us in?” asked Applejack as her hooves started to slide along the floor.

“Yes it is!” said Hex. “It’s automatic: kicks in if nothing goes through within the first twenty seconds!”

Applejack didn’t have time to reply: her Stetson flew off her head and drifted towards the teleporter. It vanished in a flash of blue light when it connected.

“Mah hat!” she shouted. “You get back here!” Without a second thought she galloped into the teleporter and evaporated.

“Applejack! No!” shouted Pinkie Pie, and didn’t hesitate to follow her.

“Oh my,” said Fluttershy, too meek to shout, and carefully stepped into the teleporter.

“This... thing won’t mess up my mane, will it?” Rarity inquired.

“No, it’ll be fine!” shouted Hex, although there was a visible flicker of doubt in his eyes that the white unicorn didn’t seem to notice. She just said “Well, that’s a relief,” and disappeared into the portal.

“My turn next!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed excitedly, and she dive bombed her way through the light.

“I stand by what I said the day I arrived in Ponyville!” shouted Twilight. “All the ponies in this town are CRAZY! Especially you, Hex! I may not have known you very long, but you’re probably the craziest guy I’ve ever met!”

“I’m a scientist!” Hex shouted. “I’d be lying if I said we weren’t all a little bit kaka!” He retreated to the far side of the shop, and then charged at the teleporter screaming “LEEEROOOOOOOY JEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!”

He vanished.

“Come on, Twilight!” said Spike as he jumped onto her back. “Are we going to go through or what!”

Twilight didn’t see any way out. There was a chance that Hex had been lying, and this teleporter would tear her and the baby dragon to shreds in less than a second. However, she didn’t hold him down as the type of pony to lie to a group of late-teen mares, especially when one of them was...

That was it. She gritted her teeth, pawed at the ground, lowered her head and galloped, screaming, straight at the teleporter.

“Uh, Twilight? Are you alright?”

Twilight hesitantly opened her eyes.

She was lying in the undergrowth on the edge of the Everfree Forest, with the superportal visible through the thinning trees. Spike was standing over her, and the look on his face was a mixture of concern and confusion.

“I don’t see what you were so worried about,” asked Rainbow Dash. “I didn’t feel a thing! Apart from this weird taste in my mouth.”

“Don’t worry about the taste of tin when you go through the ‘port,” said Hex. “It’s quite normal. Along with the erosion of tooth enamel and teeth.” He caught the looks on his friends’ faces and said “Kidding...”

“What is this thing?”

Twilight stood up and joined her fellow Elements of Harmony in their confusion. They were examining whatever it was that had fallen out of the clouds – what Hex had called an ‘Advisor’. It looked like a cocoon, only cocoons weren’t made of metal and didn’t have wires trailing off them. And Twilight didn’t know much about the life cycles of insects, but she was pretty sure they didn’t vibrate. Pinkie Pie placed her hooves upon it and giggled as her entire body began to buzz. When she stopped her mane was even messier than before.

“You’ll want to be careful,” said Hex. “It could wake up at any moment.”

There was a loud clunk.

“Like now?” asked Twilight.

It was, quite possibly, the oddest explosion in the history of Equestria. It carried all the correct characteristics of a good, satisfying, Mythbucker-style explosion, except for the explosion itself. It was just a huge shockwave that suddenly burst out of the pod and sent ponies and dragon flying.

The top of the pod slowly slid back and disappeared, and something rose out.

It appeared to be a cross between a terrifyingly large maggot and an elephant seal. Its’ body was dark green and hung in the sky as if suspended from a rope, and it’s face was waxy and white with a trunk like protrusion hanging from where it’s nose would have been. It had two long, spidery arms fused to its body, with four long claw-like fingers on each one, and all of these features added up to something quite petrifying.

Twilight knew that she should be galloping for her life – that she should get to her hooves and never look back, but she felt as though she were lying on an ocean floor. She could hardly breathe under a crushing, non-existent weight which was pressing down on every part of her body from the tip of her horn to the end of her tail. Instinct kicked in and she started to struggle.

“Somepony...ngh...do something!” she said.

“Can’t... move!” said Hex. “Telekinesis...too strong...”

The Advisor floated a log out of the bushes and held it in front of what could hesitantly be called its face. A long, pink, slimy round tongue extended out from under its trunk and started to stroke the log, apparently feeling what it looked like.

It seemed to decide that the log was useless, and the chunk of wood folded in on itself and was tossed away into the trees.

Then it picked up something else, or more specifically somepony else.

“Hey, put me down!” yelled Applejack, straining against the claws which had wrapped around her body. “What’re you doing? What is that thing? Is it a tongue? Keep it away from me!” Undeterred, the Advisor started to stroke her face.

“Twilight,” said Hex, “do you trust me?”

“Do I have a choice?” asked Twilight, her voice overflowing with desperation.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” said Hex, “Now, on my signal, channel all the magic you have into your horn – I want you to cause a distraction, see. I know how to stop this thing, but I’m gonna need a moment. And you’re going to have to get me that moment, Twilight. Are you with me?”

Once again, Twilight felt like she was losing herself in the bottomless green oceans that were his eyes. ‘He’s got a plan,’ she thought. ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’

“Yes,” she said, “I’m with you.”

“Good.”

“What in tarnation are you doin’?” Applejack demanded as her Stetson drifted to the ground. “Put me down!”

“I can’t look!” shouted Spike, and screwed his eyes as tightly shut as they could be.

“Me neither!” cried Fluttershy, who was physically shuddering in fear.

“This is completely undignified!” Rarity complained.

The Advisor completed its examination of Applejack and twisted her around as roughly as if she were a ragdoll.

“Twilight, now!” shouted Hex.

Twilight closed her eyes and concentrated. She could feel the power draining from every part of her body like water down a plughole, pouring into her horn which began to glow with pure energy. Easy though it may have looked, she was sweating and straining with effort.

She heard Applejack scream, followed by a thump, and then she felt herself being lifted off the ground, but she didn’t dare open her eyes for fear of what she might see.

“Twilight! No!” shouted Spike.

“Let her go!” she heard Rainbow Dash yell.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh,” Pinkie Pie squeaked, her mane halfway to deflating, “this is one ghostly that can’t be banished by giggling and it’s going to kill all of us!”

Twilight half-opened one eye and immediately wished she hadn’t. The creature was holding her right up against its face, and if it had been breathing she would definitely have been able to feel or smell it. If the Advisor had smelt bad then it would probably have made the experience slightly less terrifying. It was rolling its tongue-thing around her horn, ruffling her mane and leaving her dripping with unspeakable slime.

“Hey!”

‘Oh, come on, Hex!’ Twilight thought. ‘You’re not going to get rid of it like that!’

“LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU, YOU ELEPHANT-FACED GREEN BASTARD!!”

She’d never heard anything like it. The voice was edged with rage unlike anything in Equestrian history, ringed with pride, tainted with fear and streaked with irrepressible defiance.

Twilight was thrown to the ground and landed in a heap next to Applejack.

“What the hay is he thinkin’?” asked Applejack.

“I have no idea!” said Twilight as Hex was plucked off the ground and held in front of the Advisor’s face.

“I’ve met your kind before,” Hex continued, although it sounded more like two people were talking and both were extremely angry. “And you know what? I survived. I know exactly what you are and exactly what you’re capable of doing. You can see into people’s minds. You can read their memories.

“Well, read mine. See where I’ve been.”

“See who I’ve been.”

“And who I’ve known.”

Twilight watched, and at first she thought that the Advisor was shaking, but further inquisition revealed that it was trembling. She stared.

It was... scared.

“And I know you know who she is,” said Hex. “Left you in quite a state, didn’t she? I bet you needed one smegload of regeneration after you encountered her. So here’s how it’s going to work. You’re going to turn on your heels, head back to whatever disgusting, sewage-ridden stinkhole you sprouted from, and you’re never going to come anywhere near this world, ever again. You understand? THIS WORLD IS OUT. OF. BOUNDS!”

The Advisor nodded, visibly shaken to its core. It threw Hex to the ground as if he were a hot potato, then performed a 180° turn, rose into the clouds and vanished. Seconds later, the lightning bolt did as well.

“Hex!” shouted Rainbow Dash. She flashed over to the motionless brown unicorn and began to feel him for signs of life.

“Is he okay?” asked Twilight.

Against all odds, Dash started to giggle.

“He’s asleep!” she declared. “I’m being serious right now; he is actually literally fast asleep! Listen to the guy, he’s snoring! Hey, quick, let’s get him back to the shop. I got an idea.”

Very carefully, so as not to wake him up, a banana cream pie was balanced on Hex’s outstretched hoof. He shuffled in his sleep, but didn’t awaken from his slumber.

Then a sky blue feather reached out, and tickled his nose.

Hex snuffled, but he didn’t wake up.

So the pony with the blue feather tried again, slowly and lightly stroking the barbs back and forth across his muzzle, and he snuffled again and shifted slightly but still remained asleep.

That being the case, the feather went in for a third try.

Suddenly Hex’s hoof shot up like a bullet.

“Oldest trick in the book,” he said as he stood up, “but ten out of ten for the thought and the effort.”

If looks could kill, Rainbow Dash would have been declared a serial killer and banished to the moon for the glare that she shot at Hex through the layers of pastry and cream, and at her friends for laughing their flanks off.

“Oh man, we should’ve sold tickets for people to see the look on your face, Rainbow!” said Hex, and he joined in the laughter.

Dash wiped the cream from her face, but still didn’t break her glare.

“Wait a minute,” said Hex, “how did I get back in my shop?”

“We had to carry you back through the teleporter because you fell asleep,” Spike explained.

“What he said,” said Dash, still glaring.

“I fell asleep?” Hex asked sceptically.

“Well, you were up all night,” Twilight pointed out, “plus you’ve just single-hoofedly seen off an alien invasion. They won’t be coming back, will they?”

“Sure they won’t,” said Hex, “hopefully.”

“What the hay do you mean, ‘hopefully’?” asked Applejack.

“Well,” said Hex, “the Combine might have closed their superportal and gone to try somewhere else, but I fear that the very structure of this universe may have been compromised. I’ve seen something similar before in dimension 63. From now on there’s going to be a crack in the walls of this world – a rift, if you will – in time and space. There’s no possible way to close it, so we can expect that every now and then things are going to come through from other parts of this universe and possibly even others. We can’t stop it happening. The best we can do is monitor the rift and make sure nopony finds out and tries to exploit it.”

He took one look at their blank faces and sighed.

“There’s a crack in the universe and stuff’s gonna come through,” he said in an exasperated voice.

“Why didn’t you just say so?” asked Twilight.

“You didn’t say you wanted me to,” Hex pointed out, and shot her a cheeky grin. “Sorry. My friend always did say no-one likes a smart-alec.”

“I can see why,” said Twilight.

“So what now?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Do you expect us to just go home and forget about this? No way! You might have spent most of your life alone, Hex, but you don’t have to do that anymore. Whatever you do, we’re gonna stick by you.”

“Is that you talking or is it the Loyalty?” asked Hex.

“It doesn’t matter,” said Twilight, “she’s right.”

“We’re stickin’ to you like caramel on a candy apple,” said Applejack.

“I agree too,” said Pinkie Pie, “so long as there actually are candy apples, those things are delicious!” She started licking her lips and slobbering.

“Um, me too,” Fluttershy muttered.

“As untidy as it may sound,” said Rarity, “I for one could not live with myself if I allowed Equestria to be overrun with any kind of beastly off-worldly creatures.”

“Count me in as well,” said Spike.

Hex surveyed the ponies and dragon that were waiting eagerly for his reply.

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?” he deduced. “You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?”

“Nope!” was the collective response.

“O-okay then,” said Hex. “Well, er, you might as well go back home. If anything comes through I’ll be sure to let you know, so, um, yeah. See you later.”

He walked into his back room, closed the door and waited with his ear pressed to the wood. He heard mumbling and faint conversation, followed by one, two, three, four, five, six...

Six?

He went back into the main shop area and found one pony that hadn’t left.

“You’re still here?” he asked.

“I wanted to talk to you without the others interrupting,” said Twilight. “What exactly did you do to that Advisor? I haven’t heard anypony with a voice like that before; it didn’t sound natural.”

“Oh, it’s just this trick my friend taught me,” said Hex. “It used to be that only her kind could do it, but it’s really quite simple: if you’re in a situation where you get extremely angry and don’t want to use that anger, just bottle it up and store it for later. I may have been giving that thing a good talking to, but I was thinking about an incident that happened when I was only about ten. I don’t want to talk about it. Sorry for using you as bait, by the way, the speech thingy takes me a while to warm up.”

“I understand,” said Twilight. There it was again; that feeling of safety and unexplainable security when she was with him.

“What I did was I allowed it to see my memories,” he said. “The bad ones I would rather have kept repressed. I came to live in Equestria because I hoped it could be a new start. The thought of never having to return is what keeps me going – that and my extensive collection of rock CDs.”

“I’m guessing that after today we’ll probably be seeing a bit more of each other,” Twilight stated.

“I look forward to it,” said Hex. “Was there anything else you wanted?”

“Just one more thing. Why do you give away a free gift?”

“Because,” Hex said, “if you manage to make it all the way up the mountain – bear in mind there’s a high risk avalanche area, a chasm or two, and some positively monstrous slopes – then, my friend, I think you deserve a smegging gift. Don’t you?”

“Hex!”

“Oh, what is it now?” said Hex as reluctantly he re-emerged from his back room.

“Your friend,” said Twilight. “You keep talking about her, but you never mention her name.”

Hex’s mouth twitched with what could have been a smile.

“Her name was Amber,” he said.

NEXT TIME: The Flip of a Coin

“Want to know how I got these scars?”

“Who’s Jinx?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I never said he was a unicorn.”

“What are you talking about? Everypony knows Twilight! And why is it night-time?”

Author's Note: I think everyone now knows what the "Crossover" tag is for. Just to clarify: Hex is not Gordon Freeman. He is a character from a non-FiM, non-fanfic project of mine. Also, this particular story is set between Lesson Zero and Luna Eclipsed, and the first chapter was between Return of Harmony part 2 and Lesson Zero. Hope you're enjoying the story so far and thanks to the two bronies who are already tracking this story: you've made my day!

Comments

[clap2times]

Your welcome

That was the worst Melbourne accent I've ever heard! I DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT, NOR DO I KNOW ANYBODY WHO DOES!!!!!!!!

Do you come from the land down under? Where women blow and men blunder? Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You'd better run, you'd better take cover.

[Rainy Meadows]

Sorry, I fail at accents

[clap2times]

208888 It's fine, I forgive you...

BUT NEVER DO THAT ACCENT AGAIN.

[Rainy Meadows]

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111125171458/glee/images/b/b7/942-okay-meme.jpg

[BluWinter]

I loved it! So many doctor who references in this one! It was awesome sauce! I cant wait to read the next!