IV: Land of Confusion
This was the second time in as many days that the girls had woken up in a place they've never been before. This time, it appeared as if they were in some kind of hospital, with the staff along with several of the guards uncomfortably watching them. Their clothes were also different, they were wearing some kind of awful flannel material that barely covered their bodies and that no person should ever have to wear. Still, in a society where humanity technically didn't exist, they probably didn't have a lot of options for clothing and therefore even Lindsay recognized that there wasn't much of a point in complaining.
Oh, and Courtney finally woke up.
"Are we back home yet?" Courtney asked.
"Nope. Still in Ponyland," Gwen said, "And don't you dare faint again."
"Ponyville," Izzy corrected.
"Shut up, Izzy," several of the girls yelled back.
"Actually, you're neither in Ponyland nor Ponyville at the moment. You're in Canterlot, the capital and second largest city in Equestria, as well as my home."
Another pony, this one significantly larger than any of the other ones they had seen, entered the infirmary. She had a white coat, and multicoloured, almost ethereal looking hair. The other ponies seemed to bow or at least dip their heads, indicating either fear or reverence... more likely the latter.
"Princess Celestia?" Gwen asked.
"Indeed," Celestia answered, "Welcome, newest citizens. I apologize for the tranquilizer darts and any other hostilities you may have experienced on your way here, but we needed to make sure you weren't a threat."
"What possible threat could we pose?" Heather asked, "We're a bunch of kids who were mysteriously dumped in a land we didn't even know existed."
"It doesn't take a lot of knowledge or skill to carry around a bomb," Celestia said darkly. This scared Heather just a little bit.
"But what's with the clothes?" Lindsay asked, "These are like, totally gross."
"We only had a limited amount of material," Celestia said, "I made the assumption that clothes are a necessity in your culture, and therefore you would be very uncomfortable with walking around naked, but we our supply was limited and we had to make due with what we had. I'm sure you can forgive us," there was a slight threatening edge to her voice, not enough to legitimately scare or worry anyone but enough to say 'it's best if we don't disagree with her.'
"But why did we need new clothes in the first place?" Courtney asked.
"Because our old ones were disgusting," Gwen said, "I mean, I'm not a fashionista like Lindsay is, but I do have standards when it comes to clothing."
"But wait," Courtney said, "If we had our clothes changed, then that means-"
"Neither Lieutenant Talon nor any of the other male guards were present during your strip search and subsequent changing," Celestia said, "We wouldn't let Talon strip search any females anyway- especially since the Zecora incident."
"So I was naked around a bunch of females I never met before as opposed to a bunch of males," Courtney whined, "That's so much better."
"Oh relax Courtney," Heather said, "It's not the end of the world. I mean, fucking Harold saw my tits, and I survived, so I'm sure you can live with a bunch of cute little ponies seeing your naughty bits."
"Maybe it's not a big deal to a slut like you," Courtney said, "But I have a reputation to uphold."
"A reputation of uptight bitchiness?" Gwen said, "And besides, we're a universe away from said reputation, so I think you'll be alright."
"Don't remind me of that," Courtney said, "I'm trying to forget the fact that all my aspirations have been pissed down the drain by... by... Princess, why are we here anyways?"
Celestia sighed, and, for the first time since they saw her, she didn't look so powerful and ominous, "I legitimately don't know. I wish I could tell you, I wish I could say there was a particular purpose for bringing you here. But I can't."
"But... you at least know how to send us back, right?" Courtney asked.
Celestia didn't respond, she just looked at Courtney with a somber, heart-breaking glare in her eyes. They knew.
"I'll see what I can do," Celestia said, "But in the meantime, you might as well get comfortable here, because it's going to take a while to send you back, if it's even possible."
The girls couldn't really say they were that surprised. Disappointed, absolutely, but this was something that they had all kind of expected, and just could never confirm. Whatever sent them to Equestria in the first place was clearly some kind of supernatural phenomenon that doesn't happen very often, and it being beyond even Celestia's reach confirmed that theory.
That didn't mean they were any less pissed.
Courtney and Heather were immediately enraged. With no real outlet to place their anger in and them realizing that bitching at Celestia was probably a bad idea, so they quickly turned their fighting onto the other girls, trying to somehow blame everyone else without looking hilariously stupid (spoiler: they did.) Gwen, meanwhile, not taking too kindly to being the punching bag of two women she hated, was yelling back at them, while Bridgette was trying desperately to calm everyone down. Izzy, as per usual, didn't really see what the big deal was, and instead of freaking out like the other girls were, seemed to actually be looking forward to a new life in Equestria. At the very least, here she wouldn't be getting chased by the RCMP across the nation. Celestia calmly watched the girls freak out, hoping they would relax but realizing that they were going through a very difficult time, something which even Celestia herself never really experienced. Most of the hospital staff; however, were much less patient.
"Hey, we're trying to work here," one of the doctors called out, "I know it's a tough time for you, but could you please take your existential crisis somewhere else?"
Bridgette sighed, "She's right. Girls, we should probably leave them alone."
But the person with the most curious reaction was Lindsay. For about a minute and a half after Celestia said that Equestria was a one-way trip, she sat there in silence watching everyone else lose their shit. Then, entirely without warning, she got up, walked over to the door and left, slamming it on the way out.
"What's her deal?" Courtney asked.
"She's angry, and she wants to blow off steam," Celestia said, "Personally, I believe her method is a lot more productive then just screaming at your friends. We will have to answer for why there's suddenly a human in the middle of Canterlot wondering around, but I can live with that."
"We're... not really friends," Heather said.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that," Celestia said.
***************
"So, how did it go?" Twilight asked her ex-teacher.
"They're not taking it very well," Celestia responded, "Although that is to be expected. I did; however, learn that they don't consider themselves friends, which is a little more disconcerting."
"With all due respect, princess," Rainbow Dash said, "Not everypony is going to be friends with every other pony. I can think of at least 15 ponies off the top of my head that I'm definitely not on good terms with."
"That's true," Celestia said, "But these girls have clearly been through a lot together. I'm not entirely sure of the particulars, although if I asked I think they'd tell. But there's definitely something going on."
"Maybe friendship just isn't as highly valued on... wherever they said they were from," Twilight said.
"That was my thought process too," Celestia said, "But that's systemic of a much bigger problem."
"Personally, I believe it's a little early to judge," Rarity said, "Princess, you're assessment that they've been through a lot is most likely accurate, but as you said, we don't know specifically what they've been through. Perhaps there are some extenuating circumstances that we aren't aware of at this point."
"Interesting," Celestia said, "Did you have anything in mind?"
"Well, I noticed a particularly large amount of bad blood between the ones named Gwen and Heather," Rarity continued, "I was thinking that there's much more going on than simply the two hating each other's guts. Maybe one of them stole the other one's stallionfriend, or something along those lines. Or perhaps they used to be best friends and became estranged for whatever reason. Or, maybe they even used to be lovers."
"Well, it's a thought," Applejack said, "The more likely one is that they're just jerks because their society is full of jerks. When you're being transported to an entirely different universe, you gotta expect some culture shock."
"Anyways," Celestia said, "My plan was this. Since there are 6 of you, well, actually 7, but 6 different houses, and there are 6 girls, I would assign each of you one of the girls. Your job is to house them, make sure they have food and shelter and all that, but also to make sure that they work their way into becoming productive members of Equestrian society."
"Aren't we a little old for a babysitting job? And for that matter, aren't they a little old for a babysitting job?" Dash asked.
"You're never too old for a babysitting job, Dashie," Pinkie said, "I just started babysitting the Cake's kids, and after a rough start, it turned out to be a ton of fun."
"I don't mean to rain on your parade, Pinkie, but it won't really be babysitting in that sense," Celestia said, "Think of it more as... helping out a friend in need. And I know you don't really consider any of the human's your friend at this point, but hopefully that will soon change. I do believe that there is a kind heart inside all of them, you just have to dig past all the bullshit to find it."
Celestia didn't swear very often. When she did, she only ever did in either when she was alone or with people she could trust (the Mane 6, Luna, Cadence, etc,) and only for two reasons: either as an expletive when something awful or annoying happened, or to illustrate a point. And this time, it was definitely the latter.
Twilight grumbled. She had become rather familiar with those words, and she couldn't really argue against what Celestia was saying, but she still wasn't particularly keen on having a freeloader in the house, especially if it was going to be someone she had already taken a dislike to.
"Another problem," Rainbow Dash added, "My house is in the sky. And if my, ahem, research is correct, none of these humans have wings."
"I did think of that beforehand," Celestia said, "Which is why I've decided to make you the overall supervisor of the project."
"Does that... does that mean I'm the leader?" Dash said, wide-eyed and looking like she was going to burst with enthusiasm.
"You can think of yourself like that."
"YES!" Dash screamed, "Ha! In your face Twilight, I'm the leader now!"
"Hey, could you keep it down there," they heard a guard yell, "Some of us actually work for a living."
"Sorry," Dash yelled back, "What a dick." She said more quietly.
"Now," Celestia announced, "Since that leaves 6 girls to 5 houses; Applejack, I assume you could use some extra help on the farm."
"Well, ah could, but ah'm not entirely sure how useful these humans are going to be," Applejack said, "Also, I'd rather not have to deal with the headache."
"What if you get Bridgette," Celestia said, "She's by far the lowest maintenance of the six, and she seems like she knows how to work, although that's admittedly just an inference based on her personality."
"Alright, that's fine with me," Applejack said.
"One more thing I should probably mention," Celestia said, "I-"
"SISTER!" The girls saw Princess Luna frantically racing towards her sister, "I saw a human on the streets of Canterlot."
"I know," Celestia said, "There are six in Equestria at the moment. The discussion I recently had with Twilight and her friends was actually about what we should do with them."
"Where are the other 5?" Luna asked.
"They're still in Canterlot Castle, in the hospital wing. As a matter of fact, I should probably go check on them to make sure they haven't killed anyone?"
"That bad?" Luna asked.
"Several are," Celestia said.
Luna sighed, "I'm still going to go after the one that ran away."
"Just be careful," Celestia said, "Her world basically just came crashing down around her, she's likely very upset."
"Very upset?" Luna asked, "Then I think I know where she might be."
************
Lindsay was sitting under a bridge. It was really the only place she could think of to get sanctuary from the army of onlookers. But for the first time since she was a kid, she wasn't the least bit self-conscious. She didn't really care what these ponies thought of her, because she was still trying to convince herself it wasn't real.
As Lindsay sat there sobbing, a soothing voice approached from behind.
"You found this place?" Luna asked.
Lindsay didn't respond.
"I use to come here all the time," Luna said, "Whenever I was feeling sad, or angry, or hateful... things are better for me now thankfully."
"What do you want?" Lindsay asked, perhaps coming off a little meaner than she intended.
"I saw you storm out of the castle, and I followed you," Luna said, "I knew something was wrong."
"Who exactly are you?" Lindsay asked.
"My name is Luna," she said. She thought briefly about mentioning her title and all the stuff she had accomplished to the girl, but she wanted her to feel more comfortable, and felt she'd be able to do that if she thought Luna was just an ordinary pony as opposed to royalty.
"Hello, Luna," Lindsay said a sniveling Lindsay, "I'm Lindsay Cunningham."
Luna sighed, "If you're not comfortable with telling me what's wrong, I won't force you, but sometimes it's good to get your feelings off your chest."
Of course, Luna already knew the crux of what was wrong with Lindsay, but she wanted to hear it from her mouth.
"I don't know where I am," Lindsay said, "And I don't know how to get back home. I'm worried I'll never see my friends or my family again."
"Is that it?"
"And... and... I miss Tyler,"
Waterworks began falling down Lindsay's face, and Luna used her forelegs to pull the human girl into a tight embrace, which the blonde gracefully accepted.
"I had a boyfriend once too," Luna said, working her mind through her human lexicon so Lindsay would understand what she said better.
"Well, obviously," Lindsay smirked.
"No, I mean, I had a special one," Luna said, "Swift Night. A kind, handsome stallion. I legitimately thought we would be together forever."
"What happened?" Lindsay asked.
"He died," Luna said, "We were together for 4 years. I proposed to him, but... it wasn't mean to be I suppose. Haven't had a real relationship since then."
Lindsay gasped, "Really!?"
Luna nodded.
"That's horrible. How long ago was it?"
"A long time," Luna said.
Fortunately for Luna, Lindsay didn't press that issue, "I think you're making a mistake. You're way too pretty to go a long time without a boyfriend."
Luna blushed, "Thank you," she said meekly.
"No one's ever told you that?"
"It's been a while, to say the least."
"Well, it's true. People tell me I'm pretty all the time. I wonder why the don't do that for you? Maybe it's a culture thing."
Luna rolled her eyes while Lindsay giggled.
"So, can I take you back to the castle yet? Your friends are worried sick about you."
Luna hadn't spoken to any of her 'friends,' but it sounded like the reasonable thing to say.
"How do you know about-"
"I know a lot of things, sunshine," Luna smiled.
"Ooh, so does that mean you're like, omnipotent?"
Luna chuckled, "Something like that."
**********
The next day, Celestia, the Mane 7, and the girls, who will henceforth be referred to as the Human 6; all met in the Canterlot Hallway to discuss their plans over lunch.
"I hope you enjoyed your stay in Canterlot, girls," Celestia said, referring to the human 6, "My plan for all of you is to assign each one of you to a pony "guardian" who you will live and work with for the time being."
There was some grumbling among the girls, but no obvious complaints.
"To alleviate your worries, these girls have handled much more dangerous situations than a bunch of humans, so I'm sure you'll be fine."
Slightly more enthusiastic grumbling, but still no obvious cheering or protesting.
"Does anyone have a major problem with that?"
The girls again grumbled a little, the overall reaction being "sure, why the hell not?"
"So, we're all in agreement then," Celestia nodded.
"Hmm..." Pinkie Pie said, "I wonder who I'll get."
***********
"And we're going to have tons of fun!" Pinkie yelled happily, "First we're going to run Sugarcube corner, and then we're going to watch the babies, and then we're going to have lots and lots of parties and play fun games, and eat lots and lots of cake, and it's going to be the best time ever. I haven't had a real roommate since I was a little filly, eek, this is so exciting! Are you excited, huh, huh? 'Cause I know I sure am, woo!"
Gwen laid on her new bed, eyes shifting between the crazy pink pony and the ceiling fan.
"Kill. Me."
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So Gwen is with Pinkie Pie, I assume Izzy is with Rarity, Lindsay is with Twilight and Spike, I think Heather is with Fluttershy, and Bridgette and Courtney are with Applejack.
Also Lindsay I don't quite think Luna swings that way if you know what I mean.
(Actually I shouldn't say that because then I'd sound stupid. 
)
2602532 Courtney is with Fluttershy, Bridgette and Heather are with Applejack. Other than that, you're correct.
Luna swings in every direction.
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