Prompt #3 - Diamond Tiara Is A Spy!
Prompt: Diamond Tiara is a spy and/or spying on someone.
Diamond Tiara wiped the sweat from her brow, and tried to keep her breathing quiet, as she peered carefully around the corner. There was nothing standing in her way. It was a clear run to the Sentry sitting in the middle of the enemy’s base, preventing her teammates from entering. All that she had to do was use her Electro-Sapper to destroy it, and then her team would charge in and wipe out the enemy, showering her with praise for being the key aspect of their victory.
‘I need a disguise first,’ she thought to herself as she ducked back behind the corner, and opened up her disguise kit. She pulled out a mask of the yellow filly responsible for building the Sentry in the first place. “Blech. No way am I masquerading as that blank flank.” She tossed the mask aside, and pulled out a mask of an orange filly with a helmet that was obviously too big for her. “A little better, but I’d still rather not wear a mask of that chicken.”
A few more masks later, which were now piled up on the floor around her, like a little nest for the picky little Spy, Diamond Tiara finally found one that was to her liking. Unfortunately, it was a mask of herself. So, a few more masks later, and she found another one that agreed with her. “I guess I can live with being Princess Celestia for a while…”
Diamond Tiara put the mask on, and pulled out her Sapper. “Right, time to-” Diamond Tiara charged around the corner, but stopped as she noticed that the Sentry was no longer there. “What the huh?”
“Oh, DT, there ya are,” Rainbow Dash said as she ran into the base, carrying a Baseball Bat in her wing. “What took you so long? We had ta destroy that thing ourselves.”
Rainbow Dash was suddenly shot in the face, and fell down to the ground. Diamond Tiara turned to see the assailant, and found Twilight Sparkle staring at her. “Oh! Uh, hello there… uh, library… lady?”
Twilight smiled, and bowed quickly. “Your Majesty,” she said, before turning around and running through the base, presumably up to the sniper platform.
‘Well, guess I know who my next target is…’ Diamond Tiara quickly ran through the base after Twilight, putting her Sapper away and pulling out her Knife. However, as she rounded the next corner to the courtyard, she bumped into a large, dark-blue Alicorn, holding a Flamethrower in her magic… and leering down at the pink filly. “Oh, buck me…”
“… SPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” Luna shouted as she sprayed fire all over the room, turning Diamond Tiara to charcoal in a matter of seconds.
Diamond Tiara huffed as she looked down at the battlefield, her ghostly form allowing her to fly for a bit as she waited to respawn.
Suddenly, an item dropped into Diamond Tiara’s lap. “Oh?” She picked it up, and found that it was a rather nice looking welding mask, with a streak of flames decorating it, other known as a ‘Hotrod’. She heard cries of ‘OMG’ and ‘Lucky’ being shouted from the other ponies, both dead and alive, and smiled as she tried it on. She found, however, that she would have to remove her tiara to do so, and ultimately decided to just leave it be for now.
Diamond Tiara suddenly found herself in one of her team’s respawn room. With her, were Rainbow Dash, Silver Spoon, and Sweetie Belle.
“This isn’t going so well,” Rainbow Dash said. “I swear Twi’s using an aimbot or something…”
“I tried to set up a Sentry in our intel room, but that stupid Spy… who was it again?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Right, her! She keeps sapping and backstabbing whenever it reaches level three! She’s not even after the intel, she’s just trolling me,” the annoyed filly said with a huff.
Silver Spoon shifted about on the spot, flailing her hooves about. Diamond Tiara walked up to one of the cabinets. “I’m going to try the Dead Ringer for a bit.”
“What’s Spike doing? Shouldn’t he be torching Pinkie by now?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I think he’s AFK,” Sweetie Belle said. She noticed Silver Spoon dancing about in front of her. “You okay?”
Diamond Tiara and Rainbow Dash both turned to the strange-acting filly, giving her curious looks as she apparently tried to engage them in a game of charades.
“… Press ‘C’,” Diamond Tiara said.
“… Oh. Oh! OH!” Silver Spoon smiled and jumped for joy. “Finally! I was wondering how I could talk to everypony!”
Rainbow Dash facehooved hard. “Really? That why you’ve been silent this whole game?”
Sweetie Belle turned her head and chuckled under her breath. “Noob,” she said quietly, though loud enough for Silver Spoon to hear.
“Blank flank,” Silver Spoon retorted spitefully, earning a scowl from Sweetie Belle.
“You’re just lucky that friendly fire isn’t on!”
“Now, now, calm down you two!” Rainbow Dash said, before her attention was drawn to Fluttershy appearing in their respawn room. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared above Rainbow Dash’s head. “Hey, Fluttershy! Come over here!”
Fluttershy timidly walked over to the small group assembled in the room, carrying her Medigun on her back. “Yes, Rainbow Dash?”
“I’m gonna go Heavy for a bit. You charge up that ÜberCharge and follow me!”
“Oh, um… okay.”
“What about us?” Silver Spoon asked.
“I’m gonna try and get Pinkie Pie,” Sweetie Belle said, running out of the respawn room with a Wrench in her mouth before anypony could stop her.
“Silver, you go Sniper and distract that library lady.”
“You mean Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.
Diamond Tiara nodded, and then grinned wickedly. “I’m gonna sneak up on her and stab with my Knife.”
“That doesn’t sound very nice…”
Diamond Tiara scowled at the yellow mare. “Well, DUH! That’s the point! She’s the enemy!”
“Well, I guess, but…”
“Alright Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash shouted, flying in the air and carrying a Minigun in her forehooves. “Let’s do this!”
As the two Pegasi initiated their own plan, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon left to carry out their own. “Remember,” Diamond Tiara began, “Don’t kill her. Save that for me. And keep an eye out for other ponies.” Silver Spoon nodded. “In particular, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.” Silver Spoon chuckled.
“I’ll save some bullets just for them.”
The two fillies initiated their secret hoofshake. “Bump, bump, sugar-lump rump!”
“Good luck!” Silver Spoon shouted as Diamond Tiara jumped down from the balcony… only to be shot immediately by Twilight. “AH!”
“It’s okay!” Diamond Tiara shouted back over the team chat. “I used the Dead Ringer! I’m just invisible for a bit, that’s all!”
“O-Oh… Right…”
Diamond Tiara jumped into the water below her, cringing as she swam through the sewage, and entering the sewers of the enemy base. Even if it was only virtual reality, she was still thankful that nopony could see her swimming through such icky-
“AH!” both Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo shouted as they bumped into each other at a corner. Scootaloo looked around, thoroughly confused.
“What the huh? Am I laggin’ or something?”
“Uh, yeah,” Diamond Tiara said, quickly running past Scootaloo. Hr cloak ran out before she could get far, through, and she very noisily uncloaked behind the orange filly.
“Who’s there?!” Scootaloo asked, turning around to find a yellow filly standing behind her. “Oh, Apple Bloom. Don’t scare me like that.”
“… Uh, sorry. Y’all.” Diamond Tiara wanted to laugh, but that would give her away. So she turned off her microphone for a bit. “WHAT THE HAY?! SHE ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT?! WHAT A DODO!”
Once she was done, she turned her microphone back on, and turned around to continue her mission… being followed by Scootaloo as she did so. “What’re you doing? Didn’t you- I mean, didn’t y’all wanna go thata way?”
Scootaloo shook her head. “I was just running around randomly. I think I’ll stick with you for a bit.”
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. ‘Ugh, so clingy to her friends. Not at all like me and Silvy.’
“So, how many times have ya killed Diamond Tiara this game?”
“… None,” Diamond Tiara answered, climbing the stairs with Scootaloo behind her. “Why do y’all ask?”
“Oh, just wondering. I blasted her once or twice, I think. Felt so good, y’know?”
“… I’m sure it did.”
“Man, is she annoying! Always going on about how rich she is, how great she is, how smart she is, even though she totally copies off of her friend’s work all the time, who is just as annoying, by the way!”
Diamond Tiara grit her teeth together, trying to restrain herself so as to not blow her cover. Suddenly, an idea presented itself to her. “… Maybe it’s not that she’s annoying. Maybe you’re just… jealous.”
“Yeah… wait, wha?” Scootaloo tilted her head in confusion, and the two fillies stopped their walking to face each other. “Jealous? Of that arrogant snob?!”
Diamond Tiara grinned, and nodded. “Yeah. Of her charming good looks, her amazing talent, her incredibly quick wits, and her ability to look stylish in just about anything!”
Scootaloo took a step back, and gave her ‘friend’ a worried look. “W-What’s up with you? You got a crush on her or something?”
Diamond Tiara cringed at the thought. “Of course not!” she shouted. “Though, it would be perfectly reasonable if I did, considering how amazing that filly is.”
Scootaloo frowned, and took a threatening step closer. “You do have a crush on her! I can’t believe this!”
‘Oh, she doesn’t like that, huh? Better add more fuel to the fire.’ “Okay, yes, I have a crush on her. So, what’re ya gonna do about it?”
“BACK OFF! SHE’S MINE!” Scootaloo shouted, startling and shocking Diamond Tiara.
“I-I… W-What?!”
“You heard me! I can’t believe, this whole time, you’ve been after her too! You know what this means!” Diamond Tiara simply shook her head. “This makes us enemies! In fact…” Scootaloo suddenly toppled over, and died. An announcement declared that she had joined the other team.
Diamond Tiara simply stared at the lifeless body of the orange filly for a few seconds, trying to process what had just occurred. “… I think… I think I should stay away from Scootaloo from now on.”
With that, Diamond Tiara took off the mask that she was wearing, and replaced it with that of Fluttershy, who had been forced onto the opposite team a few moments ago for the purpose of balancing them. Rainbow Dash had quit shortly afterward.
She rounded the corners much more cautiously this time, keeping an eye open for any Pyros or Flamethrowers as she delved deeper into the enemy base. ‘Screw the intel for now. I’ll just mess with the Snipers for now!’
As Diamond Tiara strolled past the enemy team’s respawn room, she bumped into Fluttershy… The real Fluttershy. She gulped, and laughed nervously. Fluttershy looked down at her with a stern look on her face, looking ready to attack at a moment’s notice.
Suddenly, the mare’s expression softened, and she moved aside. “Oh, um, sorry. I was in your way, wasn’t I?”
Diamond Tiara blinked, and slowly walked past, keeping an eye on Fluttershy the entire time. The Pegasus walked in the opposite direction, towards the courtyard, and the pink filly simply shrugged, and walked onto the balcony. She smiled at what she saw.
There were two Snipers on the balcony, both of which were standing perfectly still, backs exposed, and being quite a nuisance to her teammates. She grinned like a foal in Bon Bon’s candy store, and silently approached the first Sniper: Twilight Sparkle.
Raising her Knife high, Diamond Tiara let out a silent chuckle as she brought it down hard into the mare’s back, killing her instantly. She turned her attention to the next Sniper in line: a blue Unicorn mare, with a silver mane and tail.
“Hah!” the Sniper exclaimed. “That’s sixty-two kills now for the Great, and Powerful Trixie! How about you, Sparkle?” No response came as Diamond Tiara approached the mare. “Sparkle?”
Diamond Tiara drove her Knife into the second mare’s back, and let out a loud, maniacal laugh as she watched her fall limp onto the floor. “YES! Oh, MAN, that feels good!”
So there she was, now standing on an empty balcony, with two corpses lying beside her. She had some time before they would respawn, time that she needed to kill. So, she did what any professional assassin would do in their moment of triumph: she propped one mare against a wall, and the other one top, making sure that their horns touched, and that their hooves were touching each other’s flanks. And then she took a screenshot.
“Nice!” Snips shouted, viewing the scene in ghost form above Diamond Tiara.
“Heh, now to-” Diamond Tiara’s words were cut off by a Shotgun blast to the back of the head.
Finding herself in ghost form once more, Diamond Tiara turned her angry gaze to where she had just been killed… and found Luna over her lifeless body, continually crouching down and standing up, over and over.
“Oh, come on,” Diamond Tiara said. “That’s just so immature.”
She saw the Princess turn around, and pull out a can of spraypaint. She sprayed it against the wall, painting an image of what is commonly referred to by ponies on the ponynet as ‘troll face’, with the words ‘u mad bro?’ written beneath it.
‘I hate Pyros.’
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I lack knowledge of TF2... but I got enough to laugh.
Voice chat is v.
I read the title, and I thought "Hmmm... Sounds a lot like a TF2 reference... " I read the third sentence, and I thought: "I was more than right."
Awesome crossover. ^^
Oh, and I love to burn Spies with my precious flamethrower. *evil grin*