Revolution Equestria

by SeriousTWILEY

Night Out

Camp Columbus, Equestria
March 19th 2060

Boris took a deep breath, looking out the window he saw a multi-layered blur zooming past him, as well his own spectral reflection in the glass of the cockpit’s canopy. For him Equestria had become a two toned blur, a vibrant strip of green highlighted by the brilliant blue of a nearly cloudless sky above it. Golden sunlight illuminated the entire scene from heaven. Boris turned his attention to his console, and feeling the same fluttery sensation that had awoken with his gut when he had taken flight for the first time, he pulled Natalia and her scarlet wings into the air. Suddenly, he didn’t feel trapped anymore. Suddenly he truly had freedom, pulling up he soared into the cyan sky, leaving a trail of white smoke behind Natalia’s engines.

Dash sat with her jaw hanging open as Natalia sored into the air. Never in her life had she thought that a machine could mimic the real thing so well, and she had an eager look on her face as she soared into the air after the bright red jet. Boris saw her approaching, and with a smirk on his face he dove, daring Dash to follow him. The canopy of the Everfree rapidly approached Boris, a nearly unbroken wall of deep green rushing to him, seemingly to tackle him and beat him from the sky. However Boris remained calm, and pulled up in time to safely avoid the fist of the green giant. Turning his head, he saw once again the solid green field, this time retreating. But as he watched he saw a multicoloured trail continuing to plummet towards the ground, far closer than he had. At the last second it sharply changed direction, veering off into the air and up towards him. Boris already knew who it was, but as the brightly coloured streak of light sped through the sky and pulled alongside him he saw Rainbow Dash, a determined grin on her face and one hoof stretched out in front of her. With furiously beating wings she turned her head and smirked at Boris. Then she flipped over onto her back and placed her front hooves behind her head as if she was resting, and she began to pretend to snore. Boris returned the cocky grin and tilted his control stick to the left, rotating the plane in midair. Glaring at Dash from the cockpit, he showed her the most shit-eating grin ever known. By now Dash had resumed her normal flight pattern and was looking at Boris with a slight hint of resentment, but the discontentment didn’t show upon her features for long. Giving Boris a sly wink, she zoomed up into a cluster of clouds with her signature rainbow trail behind her.

Boris was all too ready to follow, and after flipping his fighter over he was hot on Dash’s brilliantly coloured tail, adding his own dull grey jet stream to Dash’s vibrant one. Dash weaved in-between and around the clouds, for her they were solid objects and provided cushioned obstacle to test her agility. Despite being able to phase harmlessly through them, Boris followed her lead. The veteran pilot cursed every time he was unable to make as sharp and dangerous a turn as Dash, or whenever his wing clipped the side of a cloud and shredded its fluff like a cotton ball. Eventually he had had enough of Dash’s superior agility. Ignoring the presence of the clouds all together, he reached down and pushed the throttle to 100%. Dash heard the roar of Boris’s twin engines gaining quickly on her, and she weaved out of the way as the crimson plane pushed past her and out of the clouds. The smile ran away from Dash’s face as Boris and Natalia pulled ahead, her features then contorted in a look of sheer determination. There was no way she was going to let a machine beat her. Boris looked into the mirror that faced his rear and saw Rainbow Dash, now looking downright angry and following him at a lethal speed. But Boris’s velocity was even more deadly, and he could see the signs of fatigue showing on Dash’s face as she tried desperately to keep up with him. Still suffering from tunnel vision, Dash beat her wings harder and faster until she felt like they were going to break off. Her eyes then showed signs of a mixture of disappointment and disbelief. She broke off and halfheartedly returned towards Camp Columbus.

By the time that Rainbow Dash had finally decided that she had been bested in speed, Boris was already traveling at mach 3. Upon seeing the bright blue mare depart, he began to laugh, and throttled down. He banked left, and returned towards the rudimentary airfield where this contest had begun. By the time he arrived he saw that Dash had already landed, she sat at the end of the runway, her shoulders sagging and her head hung low. Boris decided to play one last cruel trick on her. He reached down and flipped a switch, extending a previously hidden device from the side of the plane. Boris pulled up and climbed higher and higher towards the edges of the world, and then when he had deemed his altitude to be great enough, he dove. A sound began to scream forth from the small box that had sprouted from his fuselage, a noise too familiar to Boris but one that Dash had certainly never heard before. A high pitched whine, a shriek designed for the sole purpose of generating fear and panic. The device did its job well, and soon Dash was staring wide eyed in the direction of the siren. At the latest possible second, Boris pulled up again and the siren dulled to a low hum. With a cheerful smile on his face he made a long arc around the makeshift tarmac, and began to descend towards it.

Dash came hurriedly speeding towards the now stationary jet; she alighted on a wing with her hooves making small clanging noises against the steel. Boris stood up from the cockpit as the canopy lifted and opened his arms as if expecting a hug. What he got was a less than gentle hoof in the stomach. Boris doubled over slightly and for a brief moment some anger flared up in his eyes before he realized who he was glaring at. With a sigh he sat down on the edge of Natalia’s wing and motioned for Dash to join him.

“Okay Rainbow” he began as he put an arm around the pegasus, “why are you looking so upset”. Boris’s face showed genuine concern.

Dash shoved him away, some tiny hint of happiness returning to her, “N-nothing.” said sullenly.

“Hey, I live in the same building as Anon. That guy is master of being depressed and trying to hide it, you’re not going to get me to leave you alone that easily.” Boris said as he poked the side of Dash’s face playfully.

“It’s just that uhhh…” Dash said apprehensively. She stared at the ground, unsure of what to say.

“I’ll tell you what” Boris said looking out towards the town. “Is almost six o’clock and technically I’m not on duty. Not unless there’s an air-raid. Why don’t we go find something to drink eh?”

“A drink? Like alchohol?” asked Dash as she looked up.

“Da. You’ve had it before right?” Boris said as he hopped down from the wing of his fighter. “There’s a bar in Columbus for the troops. Not too many ponies come in there though, but I’m sure that they’d be thrilled to have a pretty mare like you in there.” Boris said as he began walking towards town, Dash hovering beside him.

“A pretty mare like me?” said Dash with a slight blush.

Boris seemed a little nervous suddenly. ‘Fuck, did I say that out loud?’ he thought. He wanted to change the subject, “What kind of booze to ponies have?” he asked quickly.

“Oh well…” said Dash as her eyes pointed skyward and her brow rose in thought. “We have hard cider, beer, wine… I think that Applejack makes something called ‘moonshine’ but I’m not sure what it is.”

“Ever have wodka?” asked Boris with a small smile.

“You mean vodka?”

“If you want to talk like stupid American then da, but its pronounced wodka”

“I think that my friend Vinyl had some with her once, she said that she got it from some humans.”

“It was probably shit. When I was little boy in Poland my father made wodka in basement. His basement booze was better than anything in store. I first tried some when I was nine.”

The pair walked through the improvised city of Camp Columbus. The camp was an army base and town simultaneously, with soldiers allowed to leave whenever they weren’t on duty and as long as they were back before an allotted hour. The camp was home only to humans, but was open to the Equestrian public, and some (though very few) ponies roamed the streets alongside human counterparts or sometimes without. Equestria was still largely fearful of the humans, and while Ponyville had more or less warmed up to their presence only a few kilometers away, the rest of the country was still thoroughly frightened by tales of steel monsters and fearsome weapons. Camp Columbus was a makeshift city, constructed with everything from tents to log cabins to aluminum and steel huts. The streets were paved with dirt and as Boris and Rainbow Dash made their way to the only bar in the town their boots and hooves became caked with dust. The tavern that they approached was a log cabin, clearly built in haste. The tree trunks that made up the outer walls of the building were poorly limbed and still possessed bark, the many cracks between them filled shoddily with mortar. The roof was simply two tin sheets than formed an upside down V atop the wooden box, and welded together at the top. Sitting atop the smooth metal was a buzzing neon sign that read ‘Airplane Allen’s’. The sign cast a slight blue glow in the approaching dusk.

As the pair approached the wooden door a sign caught Boris’ eye. A small white rectangle with simple red print on its face, ‘NO WEAPONS’ the letters spelled out. When they entered there was a tough-looking pegasus bouncer, bulging with muscle but possessing comically tiny wings. On his oversized flank was a picture of a dumbbell. Beside him was a dark grey locker, and as he eyed Boris’ pistol the Russian sighed, unholstered his weapon and handed it to the bouncer. The stallion took the gun in his mouth and placed it in the locker. When the two had found a seat at the bar they began to talk.

“So how do you use those hooves anyway?” said Boris as he sipped his vodka.

“What do you mean?” said Dash before wrinkling her nose at the smell of her own drink.

“Well you guys can like, open doors and shit. How the hell can you do that?” Boris asked with a chuckle.

“I don’t know. We just, put our hooves against them and they open. Who needs hands?” she said as she attempted to make air quotes on the word hands. However the lack of fingers made it difficult.

“Well, well well! If it isn’t my old Rusky mate Boris!” called a voice from behind them.

Boris and Rainbow Dash turned to see McPhee approaching them, his blue eyes shining as bright as ever and his golden hair appearing almost yellow in the dull light. He was dirty, covered in grey and black smears. His jacket was covered in a thick coat of dust and his hands were blackened by oil stains. Following close behind him was an orange mare wearing a cowboy hat. As soon as he caught sight of the mare Boris was unable to contain himself.

“Bwahahahaha!!!” he roared, nearly spilling his drink.

The mare simply raised one eyebrow, “What in tarnation is so darn funny?” she asked with a thick southern twang.

“You some kind of cowboy-pony?” Boris asked, tears streaming down his face. “Yippy-wippy motherfuckers! The cow-mare is here. Watch out Dirty Dan!” he managed to choke out before breaking into further hysterics.

“Hey AJ, hey Eric” said Dash happily as she spun around in her bar stool to see her friends.

“Oh, you know Billy the Kid over here?” said Boris as he recovered from his fit.

“Duh numbskull! I’ve told you about her like a million times! This is Applejack.” said Dash, her voice annoyed at Boris but her eyes apologetic towards Applejack.

“You never mentioned cowboy hat” said Boris, still snickering slightly.

“And just what is wrong with mah hat?” said AJ crossly, an annoyed look crossing her face.

“Oh nothing love!” said McPhee cheerfully, “Boris just a jokah! Right mate?”. Eric’s voice was friendly but the look in his eyes was serious.

Boris raised his hands in a non-threatening gesture and suggested that they find a table. After the four of them were seated they began to catch up.

“So Eric, what the fuck man?” said Boris as he indicated the filth smeared across McPhee’s entire form.

“Oh yeah! Well I was over at AJ’s right, and I was fixin’ ’er farm tractor. Wouldn’t ya know it the bloody thing sprays me with oil!” McPhee answered with the same smile that characterized his normal demeanor.

“Ah warned ya not to open up that engine! I didn’t even ask ya to!” Applejack laughed. “This crazy hoo-man has been followin’ be round mah farm just lookin’ for ways to help out! He’s mighty uh… neighborly!” she said as she gave Eric a sly look. McPhee winked in reply.

“Hey Eric, you’re an Aussie right?” Boris asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“Yeah mate, born an’ raised in the outback!” McPhee replied as he lit up a cigarette.

“Bet you a hundred bucks I can stomach more liquor than you… Kangaroo Jack” said Boris with a competitive smirk.

Eric’s eyebrows shot up and he took the smoke out of his mouth, “You better shut yur mouth you cheeky little cunt, I swer to Christ I’ll hook you in the gabber mate”.

“I take it you accept challenge?” said Boris, his grin spanning his face, ear to ear.

“Barkeep” McPhee called, “bring us a bottle of whisky!”

A bottle of bourbon and a forty of vodka later, Boris sat swaying in his seat like a tree in the breeze. McPhee’s head was lying on the table in a puddle of his own drool. Applejack and Rainbow Dash had been talking and giggling the whole time, largely oblivious to the contest until now. Currently they were facehoofing as hard as possible without hurting themselves. Boris didn’t even seem to notice that Eric had passed out.

“All right big guy, you’ve had enough. Let’s get you back to your barrack” said Dash with a small laugh as she tried to move Boris from his seat.

Boris began mumbling something in Russian, but it quickly escalated into a cry (in English), “Hey… hey I won! Slovich! No Aussie is going best a Soviet at chugging wodka! Anybody else?” he yelled. “Any Krauts? What about Micks? I can take you all on!”

“Jeez dude, good thing that they took your gun.” said Dash as she helped a stumbling Boris across the dirt floor and toward the door.

“Fu- fuck you.” Boris slurred, “My aim is waaaay better when I’m drunk! So is my English…”. Then Boris began to snicker.

As they exited the bar and entered the cool night air Dash became confused by Boris’s increasingly intense amusement.

“What the buck is so funny?” she asked him, shoving all her weight against Boris in order to keep him from falling over.

“While me and Eric were having our contest he told me something fucking hilarious…. Heh, you guys didn’t even notice.”

“What did he say?” asked Dash, suddenly curious.

“He said that after he fixed AJ’s tractor, he fixed her uhh.. pipes.” said Boris before falling into another fit of laughter.

“Wait, what? Are you saying that they-” Dash began before being interrupted.

“THEY FUCKED!!!” screamed Boris before collapsing on the ground in a fit of laughter. “Don’t tell nobody! Is big secret. Shhh!” he managed to say before he passed out.

“Buck” was all Dash could say.

Author's Note:

This will be my last update for a while, I'm going to go back to edit and modify my older chapters. Sorry to leave you hanging.

Comments

[lone marine]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh lier