This week: my latest COVID exposure and Formula 1

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I have a new Ponies-on-Earth satire of internet content creation written and ready to go, but I'm going to wait until after the two contests that wrap up this Sunday are out of the New Column.

Also, Australian Grand Prix this weekend. Shall we take bets on precisely how Ferrari and McLaren humiliate themselves?

Yesterday's Mexican Grand Prix was, in a word, lackluster. Ferrari drove like minivans heading to soccer practice, Mercedes bungled their tire strategy, and Max went to hyperspace and stayed there. The only exciting part was Daniel Ricciardo driving like it was 2018.

However,

Mariachi F1 theme music?!?!?!

It's beautiful. I've listened to it for five hours now.

It is... race week!

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Formula 1 is on their summer break. My thoughts, predictions, and vain hopes for the remaining nine races of the season:

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And we have a world champion!

"Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines"
—Enzo Ferrari

Formula 1 preseason testing in six days!

The first Grand Prix weekend of the season in two weeks!

Bernie Ecclestone (the chief executive of Formula One) says: "We should get rid of Brussels and Putin should be in charge of Europe", if Business Insider is to be believed.

I LOL'd so hard, because it's just...

Dafuq? I know there are some people who are not anti-Putin, but this guy really took the cake. Methinks he's just trolling. Still, I find it funny!

It's silly, but I had fun. Hope you enjoy it, too.

EAutumn Blaze, Formula One Driver

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

Why did Scuderia Ferrari sign a kirin and a dragon?

• Human
• Rainbow Dash
• Scootaloo
• Smolder
• Autumn Blaze

SockPuppet · 1.2k words  ·  82  4 · 1.2k views

From r/formuladank:

Day 17 without F1: I'm starting to see things

(That's the Raidillon/Eau Rouge segment of Spa-Francorchamps, the best track on Earth.)

Pre-season testing is in Bahrain in February, and the first Grand Prix weekend in Bahrain in March.

So, I'll put down my predictions now — before we have any info — so that in December we can laugh at how wrong I was.

Constructor's championship:

1. Red Bull
2. Mercedes
3. Alpine ()
4. Ferrari
5. McLaren
6. Aston Martin
7. Alfa Romeo
8. Haas
9. Alpha Tauri
10. Williams

"Sock," you say. "Are you high?"

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It's Silverstone, the UK 🇬🇧 Grand Prix this week.

Some random free associations:

• Can Mercedes 🇩🇪 unshit their mess tin? This seems like their best chance to take a win.
• If Mercedes wins, will it be George 🇬🇧 or Lewis 🇬🇧?
• Can Red Bull 🇦🇹 continue their dominance?
• Will Ferrari 🇮🇹 continue their self-owns of humiliation and incompetence despite having a very fast car and very good drivers 🇪🇸🇲🇨?

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Honestly, Monaco is not a good race. Sure, it has glitz and glamor, and the qualifying is insane, but the track is too narrow for overtaking so the race is more of a parade. I'd rather see them yeet Monaco from the calendar and bring back Hockenheim or Kyalami.

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Holy cow, what a race! The wet start was exciting (and dangerous). I feel terrible for Ferrari: a did-not-finish and a P6 at the Autodromo Enzo e Dino Ferrari? That's gotta hurt. Very glad to see Lando (a future world champion, mark my words) get P3 and Magnusson in the points again, although I had hoped Haas (being the only American team on the grid) would do better.

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Thoughts and/or prayers for the people of north-eastern Italy, which is suffering Biblical flooding from storms this week. Formula 1 rightly called off the grand prix in Emilia-Romagna this week to avoid burdening emergency services with 100,000+ fans and workers.

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The teams are at Sakhir, the season starts on Friday with practice, and the first Grand Prix of the season is on Sunday.

What did we learn from pre-season testing?

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That’s right; another entry into my not-a-contest thingy!

Source

Presenting: Scootaloo, Formula One Driver by none other than Sock Puppet.

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