5063907 And you've come to the right place! But I'm going to need more info if i'm going to help you my friend. What's the Idea and we can go from there.

5063907 First of all, I recommend browsing through all of the lectures we have in or school. And reading at least those you feel may be relevant to your story.

Dear School for New Writers,

I wish to make my own adventures (AKA. Stories) for Equestria. Please I ask for your advice on how to make a good story. I know its a lot to ask for but any advice would help. Also may be looking for a partnership to write stories or trade ideas with if possible.

Sincerely,
Aladdin The Magi

P.S. I found this picture and I want to make a story out of it cause it probably be really cool and really awesome!

5064806
Well, there's a lot of advice here on how to make a good story. I really suggest you look around, both at the lectures and in the classroom threads, but I'll give you a bit to get started.

If you're starting with just an idea, like say, a picture you think suggests a good story, you're going to need to figure out your story structure.

The most basic way to do this is to think of a question that you want your readers to ask at the beginning of the story, and that you're not going to answer until the end. This could be "Will our rag tag bunch of heroes manage to stop the Big Bad?" or "Can Derpy overcome her fear of kumquats to stand up to the great kumquat monster?" or "Will Trixie admit her feelings for Big Mac as they guard Luna on their travels?" or even "What lies behind the big blank spot on the map?"

You start the fic as close to the point where this question begins as you can. If you go with "Will our ragtag bunch of heroes manage to stop the Big Bad?" you want to quickly establish that there's a Big Bad, and bring the ragtag heroes together, and show the readers why they might not be able to stop the big bad (because this needs to be something they wonder about towards the end.)

During the story, you need to keep up that suspense, showing the characters failing at things and succeeding at others until they finally face the Big Bad. Then that story is over when they win or lose. You can start another story about those characters, with a new question, or write something else!

That's just the very, very basics of storytelling. You should absolutely look around for other ideas on this group, to find out how to make it a good, well written story.

And when it comes to looking for collab partners, a lot of people ask on groups related to the genre they're writing, or to characters they're interested in. And in general, though it hasn't been very active, The Collab Cage can be a good place to ask.

Hope that helps some!

3990426 can a lecture be about any topic, or does it have to be mlp related? because i have a couple ideas for a lecture but they arent exactly pony related and are somewhat heavy topics.

Ending a Dialogue
That may be an odd question, but I found that I've trouble with finishing dialogues I write.
A lot of the time, it either seem to end too abruptly or there are multiple "Goodbyes" of various types that seem to drag forever and bog down the pacing horribly.
I've even come to resort to something outside interrupting conversation, just so that it won't have to end naturally, but you can use that only so many times before it becomes annoying.
What are the good ways to end a dialogue?

Since i've written a few one shots i've gottne used to judging pacing but my one thing i'm having trouble with is endings.

Mostly i mean when is a good time to end a story and how to properly set a mood at the end. I don't how exactly to judge such a thing. Jus som of the works i've done dont' have the best endings, not bad ons just ..um weak? I guess is the word.

I can't find the drive to write. When I did though, it turned out horrible.
http://pastebin.com/yPJZ91Rt
This is how bad it turns out to be. A greentext, chose your own adventure, with spelling mistakes, grammar errors that anyone who graduated the fourth grade would know how to spot and prevent, and just all around vague details.
Just rereading my shitty work makes me wanna bash my head on a brick wall.
Please send rope and a ceiling fan.
Any advice?

Filtering

This drives me insane! I’ve researched this for a few days now, read at least 10 articles on it and watches several YouTube videos, but i’m still unsure about it.

I’m currently writing a third person limited story, and i’ve only recently learned that there’s something called filtering. I’ve reviewed my work so far and realized that i’m prone to do it. Almost every article i’ve read says that it’s a bad thing and should be avoided most of the time because the reader is reminded that it’s a character experiencing something and not the reader. In other words, it pulls the reader out of the story because the result is less immediate.

For those who don’t know (filter is bold):
He heard hoofsteps from around the corner, and they came closer.
Hoofsteps came from around the corner, and they came closer.

I understand the concept, and i agree with it. However, when i try to apply this technique, something in the back of my head says that i shouldn’t, at least not apply it everywhere. I’ve read passages of a few other books to see how they do it (Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, and the second Thrawn book), and they all use filters regularly. That raises the question: How come they are so bad when they are used so prominently?

Also, what about narrative distance? Using filters does create distance between the action and the reader, and that is sometimes desired, is it not? I mean, the reader does know that what’s happening in the book is happening to the characters and not to them. It seems silly to me to try to convince the reader all the time that he/she is the one experiencing the events by omitting filters (unless it’s a 2nd person story i guess).

Furthermore, in my opinion, generally using filters could make scenes in which you do omit them even more immediate and thus more impactful because of the contrast.

I don’t even know what my question is at this point. Are filters bad? Do you use them or not? Do you use/omit them deliberately? Should I use them/omit them?

5107404
We write our lectures on anything that has to do with writing, though we like to put pony-related spins on them all as well! If you'd like to submit a guest lecture or become a professor, then please PM me or another admin and we can go through the process of vetting you.

5107418
I would recommend you look to the show or other stories that you read as an example here. There often isn't even any need for an extended farewell, but if there is then just try to do it naturally, as you would in real life. You don't spend a long time finishing up a conversation with your friend. Once you're done and they start heading off, you part ways with a simple goodbye.

5109740
Endings can be tricky, but you want to make sure you give your readers a sense of resolution. Make sure that you resolve any significant conflicts or plot threads by the time the story ends. If you have trouble with this, or with giving a satisfying ending, that it might help to plot out how you want your story to end before you start writing it.

5111244
Well the only way to truly get better is to practice. Develop your own style, look at the authors that you like, peruse our lectures or any other online sources you may have, all that jazz. Also, it would probably help a lot if you didn't write a 2nd person, CYOA greentext. Standard prose works best for stories, trust me on that. You might want to hone your skills on short, third-person slice-of-life one-shots. A little editing will also go a long, long way.

5111828
If you're writing a third-person limited story, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with filtering. I don't know what articles you're reading, but a third-person limited story without filtering isn't a third-person limited story. You have a perspective character, and that character is who we're viewing the story through. Filtering is necessary to give us this impression, and indeed a story completely without filtering is prone to read as a factual recounting of events from an uninterested historian. That's not we want, is it? We want to feel the emotions of the characters and see their thoughts, see the world through their eyes. Believe me, on my last story EqD had me put more filters in because the character's perspective wasn't strong enough.

However, you shouldn't go overboard. Filtering every little thing can get tiresome and repetitive. If your perspective character hasn't had any interesting or relevant thoughts or feelings lately, then just drop in a little bit of filtering to remind us that we still have a perspective character, and that we aren't just some floating eye watching from a distance.

5111272
5111866
I know you guys have good intentions, and really, thanks for jumping in to help your fellow student. However, its important that the Study Hall be kept clean of extraneous posts. We want people to be able to come here, find a question, and then have an answer right there in one reply. For the sake of cleanliness I'm going to delete your posts, but there's no harm done. If you'd like to answer a question in here later, then please do so via PM.

Oh also, don't reply to this here unless you have a question... cause then I'll have to delete those too.

5112359 Can you also delete the questions that have already been answered? Once answered I expect this question too will be deleted.

5118965
You may want to try taking a break for abit. If you find yourself being plagued with writer's block or incapable of figuring out some issue with your story, then I would recommend that you try taking a walk, not writing for a couple days, or perhaps spending some time on another story. You may find it much easier to resolve your problems when you come back to them after taking a break.

It could also simply be that you're doubting yourself needlessly. If you've really gone over this story as much as you say, then chances are that it's just as good as you're going to be able to make it. You've tried your hardest and done your best, and all that's left to do is publish it and see what happens.

Alternatively, you could set the story aside for awhile and spend time writing others, developing your skills as a writer until you feel that you can raise the story up to your own standards. Personally, I believe that publishing stories you finish, even if you aren't confident in them, will help you grow as a writer far more than keeping them locked up in your computer would.

Opinions for Setting/Location Name
Background
I've really been unsure where to ask for opinions on this but I'm writing my first story, I'm VERY particular about naming anything be it character, story, chapter title, etc. It seriously took me a week to work up all of that for my first Idea for a story. I decided to shelve that idea for later, and write a one shot to practice (which has now become an idea unto it's own) but I've run into a big problem.

Problem
I need a name for the Zebra lands / continent.

I've agonized over not having it's cannon location on the official map but I'm not even sure if it has a cannon name other than the Zebra Lands which I've found hard to write in with how often it will be said.

A lot of people use Zebrica but I really don't like using that one either. Any ideas? Or is there some lore resource I've missed?

5122673 Usually, the Equestrian geographical naming conventions have some sort of horse pun based off of real-life locations (Las Pegasus, Manehattan, Baltimare, etc.). Within those parameters, Zebrica seems to be the most logical name the fandom has come up with. I would recommend for you to stick to Zebrica as the name of the continent but have smaller nations with different names inside.

The names I came up with for a Zebra based society would be "Sebras" which is zebra in Afrikaans. Another name could possibly be "Pundamilia," meaning zebra in Swahili (which was the language the show implied with Zecora's chants in Bridle Gossip).

If you want to keep the theme of real place names, try something like Manerocco (Morocco), Zebria (Zambia), or Camaneroon (Cameroon). Although, those examples would depend on the region of Africa you're looking for. Feel free to research African locations for inspiration on both the setting and name.

Best of luck with your story!

5125568 Sabras and Pundamilia are really good suggestions. I feel stupid now, I always use languages to try and make names sound right or to squeeze in a underlying double meaning in almost everything I name, but I completely forgot about using African languages. Probably cause I'm way less experienced with them as opposed to Latin and Japanese.

As for Zebrica, I suppose I'm warming up to it. I just feel it's a bit... racist, but not in the usual way. I feel like Zebras are more than just an "African" race, like while they do have a lot of parallels with Africans they are still their own race that should be defined as more than just a parallel of Africa.

Might have something to do with a bad fic I read that treated The entire planet like a parallel of earth. (I'm sorry don't go into specifics on how Zebrica is exactly where Africa is if that's the cannon location of the Dragon lands)

I'll have to look into Swahili and Afrikaans Part of me thinks the Zebra's wouldn't use as many puns in naming though, I might have them use a different naming scheme thouhh, like using Spiritual meaning names while having the few pony settlements be pun'y and joked about.

I've got some problems trying to think of spells that a unicorn in Equestria could do, could anyone give me suggestions?

5132684 Spell effects?

If it's effects, anything that fits your fancy, really. No limitations were set by the show so far, so you can do spells that let you travel in time, turn apples into oranges, make carrots rain from the sky... Whatever, really.

An untrained unicorn, one that didn't attend Celestia's school, would probably be limited to telekinesis and some talent-related spells.

5118965

Don't look at what you write, just write away, I'd say. Write, don't look back. When you're done, read it through and edit it. One time, two times, fifteen times, as many as it takes.

Also, ask for opinions. Your story may not be as bad as you see it. I have a similar issue myself, my story never looks perfect to me. But when I get thumbs up from my trusty prereaders, I accept the state of the story as satisfactory. Even though - in my opinion - it could've been done better.

5133575 It's not reviews per se. Prereaders, as a part of your team, should give you their impressions, in real time if need be. It's also their "job", their contribution to your story, so don't feel like a mooch. No more than when asking an editor to correct grammar or proofreader to look for plotholes.

How to make EQG!Rarity relevant?
In the main show, there's a clear division of talents - AJ and RD are physical types, Fluttershy has her animals and Rarity is social, Twilight is the nerd and Pinkie is weird.
So everyone has their special talent and their niche ability where they shine and get their spotlight.
But in EQG-verse, one would assume that Sunset is pretty-well versed in social skills, and SciTwi takes over the mental stuff, which sort of begs the question how to give Rarity reasonable measure of spotlight.

5138602 Sunset is well rounded but she still lacks what makes Rarity great in a social standing, Sunset in a social setting is more of a hammer to Rarities needle, Rarity has been shown in both of her iterations to be able to smooth talk and get what she wants easily, she is also more affluent than sunset.

hey everyone,
i need some help on my write Applejack in romance.

what make the best coltfriend for Applejack?

5139817 That is a matter of opinion so I don't think anyone can really help you there man

Troubles with stories told by a character
I am writing a set of shortfics that are essentially Sunset telling to Human Five, or someone else some stories of her (adventure-filled) past.
It kinda starts with Sunset telling a story, and it gradually goes into being a more-or-less standard story told from first limited person, past tense.

This is a pretty specific format of a story, and I kinda need advice - can you do a skip-between-scenes thing in this format, or would that be weird?

5210721
It's definitely possible to switch between scenes for this format, but it should be obvious. Some authors use italics, change tenses, or even switch perspectives like writing the story being told in the past in first person, make a deliberate cut, and tell the present day scenes in third person.

Whether or not you do any of that, the audience needs to know within the first sentence that we've changed to the present day if we were just in the past in the last scene.

Here's how it would work:

Sunset tells a convoluted story about her jumping a shark on a jet ski.

SCENE CUT

Pinkie Pie raised her eyebrow and leaned over the cafeteria table. "Was it a Hammerhead or a Great White? Or maybe it was a whale shark!"

It should also be just as obvious that we stayed in the past but just moved ahead to the next scene.

One thing that would help is to have specific characters be in the scenes set in the present, and have a separate cast for the stories told by Sunset to make it even easier to differentiate the two time periods. Ending a chapter with dialogue from Celestia in the past only to cut to dialogue from Celestia in the present would be confusing because the reader won't know if we've cut to the modern day or to the next scene in Sunset's story. It could be just as simple as differentiating them as Princess or Principal Celestia.

Ex: "You shouldn't have jumped the shark, Sunset," Princess Celestia said. "You could have gotten hurt."

SCENE CUT

"You shouldn't have jumped the shark," Principal Celestia said. "You could have gotten hurt."

Without differentiating the Celestias, it would be confusing to read.

One other thing to make your transitions deliberate is to use an obvious break between switching time periods if it's an important change. Instead of a small chapter break from the toolbox, I like to use something like this:

It's elegant, streamlined, and obvious because it's a different color.

You could even have one color for the scene break that moves to the present and a different color to cut to Sunset's story.

If you want short asides in the middle of Sunset's story, italicise the small bit or surround it in hr's so we know it's different from the rest of the passage.

I jumped a shark on a jet ski.

---

Pinkie leaned over the cafeteria table. "Was it a Hammerhead or a Great White?"

"I was just getting to that. Don't interrupt me."

---

As I was saying...

That's all I can think of for scene transitions and skips. It all really depends on how clear you make a transition between the two parts of the story. Anyways, I hope this helped and best of luck with your story.

5211129
That's entirely not what I was asking.
This part I kinda-sorta get. Although, those are some good mechanics to do it, thank you for that.

What I meant was - can you make an unexplained scene cut within the story told by character? Or does that not work with that format?

5211697 You need to explain it, which is why I said that the cut has to be obvious and there needs to be a smooth transition. Either through explicit chapter cuts or a lead in to the next idea.

You can't just have the next paragraph not explain why all of a sudden we're in the Manhattan when in the last sentence we were just in Canterlot, talking about the castle rose garden. This is a pacing nightmare and a surefire way of becoming an "And Then" story.

"And then we did this. And then we did that, and then..." Is just a collection of scenes that have no meaning.

"We did this because that happened, but this happened. Now we have to do this" is a story once the details are fleshed out.

All we need is a short transitional paragraph that tells the reader where and when we are moving on. "When we got to," or "A few hours later," are the minimum transitions needed to tell us that we've moved on.

If you're in one city and want to go to the next, have a short paragraph that describes the train ride to the new city. It's all about the transition and how clear you can make the cut.

You want to make a story clear as possible. Excluding an explanation to a change in scenes is jarring and confusing. In some form or another, every "unexplained" scene cut has been set up by a scene before it.

I have a vague and non-specific question, that I hope makes enough sense for someone to help me out.
My fic is missing something, and I don't know what
I've been trying to write a simple action/adventure fic. It has, more or less reasonable characters, a lot of dialogue, decent actions (thanks, in part, to Goldenwing), some descriptions and scene-establishing texts (which I am trying to expand somewhat), so I think I did everything sort of by the numbers.
But when I re-read it, something really feels missing. Like it lacks some meat-and-potatoes bit, that actually makes the fic (or any literature) feel more... I dunno, substantial, "chewy", y'know?

I've no idea how else to explain it, but when I re-read my own fic, it feels... vacuous? maybe? It's like I'm not reading something in in it's own right, but sort of skimming a much better work, or maybe reading cliffs notes of something.
What could it mean? What could I be missing?
Is it the pacing? Insufficiency in some element of the story (not enough description or chardev)? Something else entirely?

5246041
That's pretty clever, but unfortunately I've already designated RD as the badass of the group, and making Rarity a kung-fu girl would definitely place the fic in the badass overload category.

5252151 Well, the best way to find out what's missing in your fic is to get a proofreader and a few prereaders, IMHO.

Also, it's hard for us to tell what exactly is wrong with the story without having read the actual story.

5253773
Tried that, but the people whom I begged, forced and blackmailed into reading my stuff have not given me much useful info.
So I wondered if it's a more generic problem that would be recognizable by it's symptoms, or maybe someone here would volunteer to give my 11k-word fic a read and help me out.

Uhm, I'm just starting to write this fanfic, and I'm kinda having trouble with the villain (his motives atleast)

What kind of event would push a leader of a kingdom to go great lengths just to conquer Equestria? Or at least, what kind of backstories should I avoid making? (The villain is a pony himself btw)

SUDDENLY!
I have trouble writing sudden shock-and-awe WHAM events and character appearances. They come off as routine and factual no matter what I do.

examples:

...(some dialogue here)

“And you dragged other children into this? Sunset, I cannot in my right mind…”

Sunset’s horn flared with green flame, and she threw Celestia into the nearest wall, as the assassin's blade split the air scant inches away from Princesses white neck.

Sunset kept on her feet only through sheer stubbornness. The exhaustion of the day and the energy loss made her vision swim and legs shake, but even though it has been quite some time since even Rarity gave up and went to sleep, she kept working in her lab.
Just one more batch. Then I can sleep

This was not the first time she promised that to herself, but the comforting lies made it easier to chase away the creeping terror that the thoughts of sleep inevitably brought.

The stained-glass window of the lab blew out in a thousand sharp pieces, scattering the glass all over the lab, and pain exploded in Sunset’s head when a deft kick of the intruder’s hoof sent her sprawling on the floor.

“My name is Daring Do”. The pegasus said, adjusting her hat, her wings flared in anger “You killed my mother. Prepare to die.”

And I stopped it. As easily as I would stop an unruly child, grabbing his arm in my magic and in my panic, tossing him clear across the room.

Everything fell apart. Miraz shouted the alarm, and pulled a hidden lever, disappearing behind a fake wall, and his wife and Susan released their arrows at the same time. Ed’s scream of pain and Caspian’s moan of despair twinned with the alarm ringing clear across the castle.

Those are excerpts from different fics I am attempting to write, but they lack a certain punch to them, some je ne sais quoi, a certain pizzaz that would make the lines WHAM the reader in the face, make them surprising and heavy.
Any ideas on how to get it to be what I need it to be?

Hello to all writers My name is Leonidas and I have a question.

For a while now I've had the idea of a revolutionary themed story stuck in my head. The story is based in Tartarus where a giant revolutionary is taking place with five leaders. What happens is that some where during the middle of the war one of the leaders known as "Mad Steel goes to Equestria with some friends to ask for some help from Celestia and all the other leaders. So my question is how would you start it off.

5296686
That's up to you. There are many ways to start a story, and it depends on the writing style you want. You could start before the prisoner uprising, or during it. You could start with a calm description of the setting or start right in the middle of the action.

Try looking at your favorite fics and see how they start. See if you can imitate those or perhaps get inspiration from them.

I can't really say anything else. There are so many ways to start every kind of story, and all of them can be good. It's up to you to figure out what works.

5297263 Ha Leonidas again

Thank you for those words of advice. to be honest I have to places in mind that would work the only problem is that they both have some problems. If I start from the beginning like right when the revaluation begins I feel like it will take too long before he goes to Equestria. If i start it from the mid point of where he meets Celestia then I feel like covering the extensive back story would be to much.

Also another quick question I tried looking up tips about how to write a revaluation themed story but have come up with nothing. My main question for this is what aspects should I focus on while writing this work?

5297730
Writing a revolution depends on the perspective you want.

My best advice for this is in my lecture here.

In short: Some things aren't necessary to the story, so exclude them. (Most exposition and back stories aren't really necessary. There are important parts that should be mentioned but writing every detail can waste words). But you get to determine what is important and what isn't. Figure out what is important and write that.

5298037

Thank you again for that input.

I think I have a good base to work with now. From your lecture I think I'll build the characters and word first and work from that. Thanks again for helping me. Let me know if you ever need help from a mentally insane wannabe writer.

Also to anyone

If you have any tips on writing a time travel story I would love to hear them.

5298469
You're very welcome! And when it comes to time travel, I also wrote a lecture on that (click here).

5299215

First Question how many Lectures did you write?

Also thank you again for the advice but the story i have in mind for the time travel involves traveling to the future.

Story Line: During the event in which I will call the Crystal Wars Celestia and Luna fought against Sombra and defeated him. But what many dont know is that during the war under Sombra's rule a small group of individuals was formed to balance the powers of the world. During the war in a secret lab hidden in the frozen land of the north a soldier stabbed one of the leading members into a crystal that contained an experiment. After a large exposition the soldier finds him self stuck in the future with strange side affects. So on and so forth he and the the leader of the dark group fight again only this time one will die.

The problem I'm having with this is that I don't know whether to start it from the soldiers time during the war or after he emerges from the time explosion. Also accepting side affect ideas for time explosion. Will not accept ability to time travel at will. that just OP in my book

Also thank you once again PiercingSight for the advice.

5299289
Check out my classroom for all of my lectures. Another one you may want to look at is the one about writer's block.

5284576
5299596
Not to nag, but what about my question?

5299601
Oh, I apologize! Looking at it, my only recommendation is to use the word "suddenly".

Seriously. I know it can sound a bit hokey and perhaps amateurish, but when a reader is reading, they rarely notice word choice like that.

If you want, you can also use phrases that mean pretty much the same thing. Punctuation and formatting can help inthose instances.

BOOM!

But before her tea even reached the glass, the cup unexpectedly screamed at her, causing her to jump.

"Why is the beaker turning blue?" Pinkie asked.

"The beaker is what?"

With a loud pop, glass was suddenly shot in all directions, trailing purple smoke.

The room went black.

And an example for one of yours:

“And you dragged other children into this? Sunset, I cannot in my right..."

Sunset's ear twitched.

Grabbing Celestia in her magic, Sunset threw her across the room as a blade shot through the air where Celestia had been standing just a moment before and buried itself deeply into the other wall.

"Sunset!" Celestia yelled.

So, tips:
Don't be afraid to use the word "suddenly".
Make things a reveal, meaning don't explain everything about what really happened, only explain what the characters perceive in the moment.
And lastly, take advantage of short sentences and paragraphs to give a sense of urgency and quick pacing. The exception being moments of "slow-motion" where tons of action is happening really fast, but still needs described.

Check out the Writing Guide's section on Pacing for more info on the last one.

I hope this helps! :)

5274118
That's a tricky one because it really depends on the kind of villain you want. Do you want an actual bad guy? Or do you want a good character gone bad because they are blinded by hate/a desire for revenge? Do you want a character that actually believes they are doing good, when they are unknowingly harming many others?

Once you answer that, then you can go ahead with finding a good backstory to match those motivations. The most commonly used example that I see is a character motivated by revenge for some misunderstanding or accident that led to the loss of a loved one. But for creating a desire to take over Equestria? I think some motivations more directly involved with the ruling of Equestria probably need to be involved in the back story. Sort of an "I should be the one ruling Equestria, not them," situation. You could do the revenge plot if it's an "I'll show the princesses/rulers/etc what happens when they blah blah blah. I'll take everything from them."

And there're always the immensely simple "I want power! POWER! MUAHAHAHA!!" villains. Those are always fun.

Anyway, I hope that gives you some ideas. :)