ESilver Whistles

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Drama

Silver Zoom expects a lonely and miserable night at the Gala, but that all changes when he encounters a certain blue pegasus mare.

• Alt. Universe
• Other
• Windy Whistles

Jarvy Jared · 9.2k words  ·  20  3 · 423 views

Silver Whistles

by Jarvy Jared

Summary

Attending the Gala was the last thing Silver Zoom wanted to do, and attending it alone was somehow even less preferable than that. With the prospect of a night spent entreating ponies who only care for the fact that he's a Wonderbolt ahead of him, he expects nothing short of a miserable experience.

When he meets Windy Whistles at the Gala, though, her enthusiasm towards him appears to be just the change of pace he needs. But Silver cannot anticipate just how much he'll have to reckon with before the night's over.

Initial Thoughts

This is actually one of the few stories for which I drew a blank when looking it over. It’s starring somepony who’s essentially just a background character… and Rainbow Dash’s mom. And it’s a shipping fic. I really am not sure how to process that.

Now, to be fair, this was for a shipping contest that featured completely RANDOMIZED pairings. Whatever comes from that will surely be strange. But it’s also from an author I’ve often enjoyed reading, and who I consider a very strong author at that, so… it can’t be too nuts, right?

My General Reaction

Even after reading Silver Whistles, I’m not entirely sure what to think of it. It’s an AU ship fic featuring what are essentially background ponies, and so there’s almost zero emotional investment or interest going in… but the author has done a rather bang-up job in building that interest and investment once you start.

The story follows Silver Zoom, Wonderbolt, as he attempts to navigate his second Grand Galloping Gala (the first being the Best Night Ever episode, which is alluded to humorously throughout the story). After bumping into Windy Whistles (revealed to be a divorcee in this timeline) and becoming smitten immediately, the two spend the rest of the night talking and hanging out… and with Windy somewhat acting as therapist for Silver’s severe psychological trauma.

I think, right away, Silver Zoom is presented as an interesting viewpoint character. Granted, Jarvy’s basically had to build him wholecloth, being one step above an OC, but it’s still a well-done character. He’s a Wonderbolt, sure. But he’s somepony who never really wanted to be one in the first place, and spends quite a bit of the story either ruminating on or talking about his relationship with his overbearing and disapproving father that led to this state of affairs. For anyone who’s dealt with that sort of parenting, I think this hits home quite well, and will be instantly as recognizable as it is sympathetic.

In short, Silver is a normal guy. He’s an everyman (everypony?). it’s easy to get into his head, but there’s always a little more to him, the deeper you dig. It keeps the reader’s interest throughout, and never becomes boring. If I could nitpick on his characterization, his emotional issues seem to bubble to the surface really, really quickly. Like, it’s somewhat damning of Spitfire not to have noticed one of her Bolts is basically sitting in the corner, internally wailing in despair and pain all the time. And I suppose it’s also a bit of a social faux pas to open your first date with somepony with “My father never loved me”.

Speaking of Windy, she’s also an interesting character to think about in this context. Despite this being an AU, she’s remarkably similar to how she was in the show. Extremely extroverted, outgoing, probably insanely obsessed with the Wonderbolts, etc, etc. She makes a good match for Silver in the sense that she’s extremely empathetic towards him, and goes straight into ‘Life Coach’ mode when he begins to crack. Silver definitely has the far greater character development and focus, but Windy isn’t nothing.

At first, I felt like agreeing with Silver when he asked Windy “Why do you care so much?” It’s the one thing I might have really nitpicked about her; the fact that she becomes so emotionally invested in Silver so quickly. Then, remembering what sort of a superfan Windy is in canon, I eventually let it slide, though the feeling of “off-ness” lingered. I kept wondering why she felt out of character to me, even when I couldn’t articulate why.

Maybe it’s because of my unfamiliarity with the character. Maybe it’s because I can’t see her divorcing Rainbow Dash’s dad. Whatever the case may be, it’s something to note, but not to let drag down my enjoyment of the piece itself.

Which I did! The characters were interesting and fun to read about, sure. But the narration is also worth mentioning. The events of the night are a bit heavy for a first date, and quite a bit goes down in one night, but the journey there is quite well told with a wry, humorous style that manages to keep a lively pace throughout.

I can’t say that I ever considered this ship even once before reading this story. And I can’t say I’ll ever think on or consider it again. But, for this one telling, I think the author did a great job selling it to me.

Technicals

5/5 – No issues, Free points
Jarvy regularly does editing for other writers. He knows his stuff, and it shows.

Story/Plot/Pacing

4/5 – Pretty heavy for a first date
The narration in the story can get just a bit “telly” at times. That’s not always a bad thing, but the wordiness can start to drag in places. Silver also completely bares his soul for a mare he’s just met, which makes the story’s pacing feel rushed in an overall sense. This is likely a result of being written for a contest, and thus being made under a time constraint, but it’s still something to note.

Characters

5/5 – A lot of depth and character in these… characters
Silver Zoom is the star here. He’s a completely ground-built character for the most part, but instead of coming across as a cringy OC, he’s a perfectly relatable character with a lot of baggage and heart tied to him in equal measure. He feels real, as it were, and written in just such a way that draws you into his head.

Final Word and Rating

Silver Whistles is a unique story. It’s a unique ship with a unique setup. And thankfully, it’s a very well told story. I recommend this one to any who are feeling like they need a pick-me-up. Not necessarily a warm and fuzzy feel-good story, but one with a lot of heart, and a lot of love to share.

To the author: You’ve really outdone yourself. Almost literally taking nothing, and making something special out of it. Well done!

Feel free to comment below.

<For Archive Purposes: 9.2/10>

7604855
Lovely stuff, ninja!

This was a hard story for me to write, for basically all the reasons you noted. Namely, how to cultivate a relationship given these two characters? Silver Zoom, of course, had no characteristics of which to speak, and Windy Whistles was, technically, "off limits." That was the first issue, then - trying to come up with a reason for why these two would end up romantically involved.

I'd already read a story where Windy becoming single was the result of Bow dying, so I didn't want to go down that route. I opted, instead, for divorce, but I tried to provide some manner of explanation for it, by suggesting that it was a mutual decision - that the marriage was good at first, but sometimes marriages aren't meant to last. Admittedly due to the constraints of the contest, I don't feel I was able to flesh out that particular angle. With more time and room I feel I could have explored Windy's role in the story a bit more, rather than having her be a receptacle for all of Silver's love and woes.

That said, I'm glad you found my characterization of Silver to be sufficient! Him being a background character with no lines meant I could go a lot of ways with him. I decided to play around with the idea that you could be on the Wonderbolts, reportedly the most famous Pegasus team in Equestria, and yet still not be as well known as others. It proved an interesting point of character, perhaps even more so when I decided to also bring up the question of whether or not this is what Silver wanted.

(Incidentally the question of what one wants vs. what one does is brought up in a later story of mine. Sometimes themes resonate and repeat between stories :P)

As for your other points, about the pacing, the baring of the soul on a first date... I agree. I think those were things I inevitably had to confront, and unfortunately, I do not think I was sufficiently skilled enough to make the matter go away easily. The best I could hope for was that the way I rendered these characters and had them interact would make up for the otherwise clunky aspects of the ship. I don't quite know if I succeeded, but I'd like to think that if, in the end, I could get you to believe in this ship, that I've done something right.

Thank you again for the wonderful review!

7604866
No problem! It was a great story to read!