THate Me, Hold Me

• Equestria Girls
• Random
• Sad

Wallflower knows she doesn't deserve all the patience, understanding and compassion Sunset gives her. If only Sunset understood that too.

• Suicide / Self Harm
• Sunset Shimmer
• Wallflower Blush

Scampy · 2.3k words  ·  118  11 · 2.5k views

Wallflower knows she doesn't deserve all the patience, understanding and compassion Sunset gives her. If only Sunset understood that too.

Opening remarks

Hate Me, Hold Me is a character piece about Wallflower Blush written by Scampy. Scampy has a reputation for writing raw emotion into her work and I look forward to seeing that in action in this fic.

Note: This story contains explicit self harm content. Though it disavows my “do not read” list, I am allowing this due in part to Scampy being on my “trusted writers” list and knowing that the content in question will be handled properly. Additionally, I am very uncomfortable with the themes discussed, however, my personal bias against it will not be factored into the main review. That will only bear weight in my personal score. Any discrepancy between the two is all in due part to this noted bias. 

Technical

No errors found on reading. Full Marks.

10/10

Character

Wallflower’s depiction in this story is very intense. The very unfiltered view into her thoughts show the contradictions and conflicts that plague her thoughts and paint a flawed but engaging picture of her struggles. 

The flippant attitude and depressive introspection of Wallflower create a riveting story about the pains of self harm and, despite its seeming nonsensicalness, show the real struggle against the addiction of the habit. 

Wallflower feels like this real character with these intense inner struggles and the story is better for it.

When Sunset is introduced into the story, it portrays her as the patient girlfriend that Wallflower needs, the steady rock against Wallflower’s uncertainty and turmoil.

Wallflower’s character is flawed and makes this story an excellent character piece. Full Marks.

10/10

Concept

Firstly, the hook of this story is powerful. The struggle Wallflower has against succumbing to her urges and then, with no mincing of words, cutting right into themselves with a literal blade is a strong opening scene that urges the reader into following the oncoming aftermath. 

Secondly, this story is, on a very real level, explicit in the full meaning of the word. This is a very raw, unfiltered, no sugar coating look at exactly what self harm is like and the mental struggles of the protagonist. It does not glorify or add weird justification to what Wallflower does and instead focuses on the challenge of simply getting through one more day without incident.

A very well executed concept. Full Marks.     

10/10

Vibe

I’m not going to waste time going over every detail of the vibe as this story does exactly what it needs to: show a very real depiction of self harm. 

Scampy wrote a very tight, emotionally raw story. It’s quick, it's powerful, it cuts to the heart instead of dancing around in flowery prose. The pace was quick and loud, which for this sort of character piece felt appropriate. I never felt wanting and had closure as the fic ended on the high note of unbridled acceptance. 

An excellent execution. Full Marks.    

10/10

Closing Thoughts

Scampy has managed to write an impactful, unfiltered view into self harm and its addictive mentality. She showed the disparaging thoughts that hampered Wallflower’s ability to heal, but finished on the lasting impact of Sunset’s patient love showing a glimpse of hope on the horizon.

A truly splendid character piece. Full Marks and Otter’s seal of approval as an absolute must read.  

10/10

<For archive purposes: 10/10>

Personal Score

Okay, despite my praise, I do have to acknowledge that the explicit self harm made me very uncomfortable. 

I stand by my review score, this fic is incredibly beautiful in its raw depiction of self harm and the relationship that entails, however, that does not negate my discomfort.

These are also the situations in which I’m glad I separate my personal enjoyment because there is art that is meant to simply be enjoyed and art that is meant to challenge. This is a fic in the latter category and for those able to push through despite their discomfort, you will find yourself confronted with a real depiction of struggle and how love can help you through it. 

That being said, though intellectually and emotionally sated, this was definitely a tough read for me. 

4/10