EA Milk Run

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

The convenience store is ten minutes away. It will take him two and a half hours to get there.

• Rainbow Dash
• OC

JimmySlimmy · 3.2k words  ·  47  0 · 597 views

Gotta go fast!

I'm gonna break this one down the best I can, but, given its race to the finish, this will be interesting.

Plot: The premise is very limited in scope. This isn't a positive or negative in this story, but it makes it harder to give a fair score. There's very little depth, but it doesn't need to be to get its points across. From what I saw: Sh*t happens, and you're never too old to give, or too young to receive good advice. This might even be me reading too much into it, but I like there to be some take away from a story. Grade: 8/10

Grammar: Hardly an error in sight. Any issues I saw I reasoned were intentional, for the sake of thematics. Grade: 10/10

Characters: I have very little to work with here. The main OC doesn't get much introduction, really. I don't think I even caught their name. That being said, the story works around it, even if the plot is of little consequence. Grade: 7/10

Prose: The story was rather good at the description of clouds, cloud-based structures, and vomit inducing speeds. The only issue is that those same things mostly served as padding, and I would have enjoyed a little more meat in my story. Grade: 8/10

X-Factor: I wanted to make a negative mark for the lack of impact this story had on me, but the ending made me chuckle. Good on you, bud.

Total Score: Overall Score: 7.95/10
I didn't love it, but I didn't feel like I'd wasted my time either. Thank you for submitting to me, and to the Reviewer's Mansion

<For archive purposes: 7.95/10>

Thanks! I'm glad you were able to derive some enjoyment from it.

Yeah, there's not much to it - just a little bit of writing exercise for fun. Very much the very flimsiest of slice of life.

I never gave the OC a name. Poor guy.