EPink Eye

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Comedy

Derpy tries to find the courage to finally ask out the one mare she's always admired for Hearth’s Warming Eve. It goes as well as expected.

• Pinkie
• Derpy

Daemon of Decay · 5k words  ·  129  4 · 1.6k views

Pink Eye

by Daemon of Decay

Summary

Derpy tries to find the courage to finally ask out the one mare she's always admired for Hearth’s Warming Eve.

It goes as well as expected.

Initial Thoughts

I honestly don’t have many expectations for this story. Not in the bad way, mind. I’ve just never read this author’s work before. Daemon expressed the idea to me in a discord conversation that he cannot write, nor understand, romance. So, seeing him write one… it’s intriguing, at the very least. So, let’s see if Daemon has accurately rated their abilities, or if perhaps this is a case of an author doubting themselves.

My General Reaction

Daemon? You are a lying, no-good son of a bi—

Right. Okay. I’m good.

Suffice to say, this story is more the latter than the former. By a wide country mile, in fact.

The story begins with Derpy… being Derpy, quite frankly. And here we get the first sign that this is going to be a Gold Star story. Derpy is precious at the best of times, and Daemon shows right away that he more than has the chops for writing her. Through a series of well-meaning, if doomed attempts by her to make up for one of her usual mistakes, we get such a crystal-clear picture of what makes Derpy… uh, Derpy, that it comes across as the most genuine series of Derpy-isms I’ve seen in a while.

But this Derpy is more than a Chaos Engine, attracting misfortune like a magnet. After her hijinks cause all manner of (hilarious) trouble, she finds herself contemplating on the roof of the Post Office. Hearing her internal monologue as she mentally weighs her life in Ponyville, with all the little humorous and insightful remarks here and there, both in and out of character, I really felt treated to what I started to feel was the definitive Derpy interpretation.

And that’s before Pinkie Pie shows up. Derpy reveals that she’s had a crush on the pink prancing party pony for a while now. And this being Hearth’s Warming season, Derpy is determined to deliver a letter to Pinkie, a confession of sorts for how Derpy really feels about her.

And then she tumbles off the roof and possibly concusses herself. This leads to her actually talking to Pinkie Pie and… I can’t spoil what happens next.

It’s too perfect. Too cute. It’s not just that, even. This is a fic that elevates the characterization on display.

Sure, it’s Pinkie and Derpy, and they both do the Pinkie and Derpy things. In Pinkie’s case, this is one of the best stories for showing off her weird Pinkieness, actually. Like, both amazing and understated. Awesome. But it’s brilliant because it uses those as the staring positions. Both characters explore a lot of depth and nuance to their typical characterizations, building upon what’s there instead of invalidating what has come before.

I just… I can’t recommend this one enough.

Grammar and Word Things

5/5 – Basically perfect
I might be picky, and wonder why some paragraphs go on a little long… but honestly, the grammar and structure of the writing here is superb. Pitch-perfect joke and feels delivery.

Story/Plot/Pacing

5/5 – Perfect slice of (romantic) life
There’s a style of writing I can’t get enough of, where the author takes a very small slice of a character’s life – barely a few minutes sometimes – and they drag it out into a whole story, encapsulating everything about said character in a perfect moment of time. This is that. The pacing is gold. The plot is solid. And the narration is both hilarious, and it keeps you in suspense until the last moment.

Characters

5/5 – Definitively Perfect
This is a story about Derpy and Pinkie. In every way, it is Derpy and Pinkie, but wholly developed, and humanized for lack of a better word. There’s amazing depth to everything about them, and it just stands out so well.

Final Word and Rating

Pink Eye is a serious medical condition that you should get checked out as soon as possible.

It is also one of the most heartwarming little stories I’ve read in an age. For anyone who loves these characters, the Hearth’s Warming vibe, or just a good romantic comedy with some deeper thought put into it, please read this story.

To the author: This was a treat, really. And a welcome surprise.

Feel free to comment below.

<For Archive Purposes: 10/10>

Thank you!