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Jarvy Jared #1 · Jan 3rd, 2021 · 7 · ·

Hello, all! After taking a necessary break, I’m back in the reviewing business! Some of you may be familiar with my style of reviewing from a prior group, but for those who aren’t, check out my format in the Reviewer’s Guidelines thread.

For my first review for this group, I’ll be taking a look at Gay for Gadot’s “Loqui Veritatem In Caritate.”

ELoqui Veritatem In Caritate

Before the sun rises, the last priest of the last Church of Equus performs an important ritual. Unlike most of his services, he does not do so alone.

Gay For Gadot · 2.1k words · 207 6 · 2.4k views

Description

Before the sun rises, the last priest of the last Church of Equus performs an important ritual. Unlike most of his services, he does not do so alone.

Initial Thoughts

I don’t have a background in Latin, so I had to use Google Translate (an admittedly less-than-stellar translator, by my account) to understand the title. If it’s to be believed, then the title translates to “To speak the truth in love.” How sentimental!

This is an Alternate Universe story, according to its tagging, but I think the description gives that way, too. A Church of Equus—a world church—has apparently been established, but based on the fact that there is only one priest remaining, it seems that this church is on the verge of either collapse or great reform. I’m inclined to believe, perhaps, that this must take place before Celestia and Luna rose to power, or just as Celestia became the sole ruler, since there seems to be an implication that only when the sun rises (either on its own, or as part of a magical spell) does the church’s final member perform his duty.

But we also have Discord involved, which bodes, no doubt, an interesting plot.

With that said, let’s dive in. Fair warning: there will be spoilers below.

Summary

The last priest of the Church of Equus draws upon his chapel to perform the tradition yet again. This time, though, he has a visitor, in the form of Discord. It’s clear by their conversation that they’ve had many interactions like this many times, in years past, and their conversation hints at numerous changes that have come across this version of Equestria. Yet, their conversation seems quite mellow, calm, even friendly—enough that, after a bout of initial pranking, something vaguely reminiscent of a confession emerges from Discord’s lips, just as the two of them watch the sun rise again.

Plot

I was wrong in many ways, about the story’s premise, but also, it seems, right in many others. If I may be permitted to speak generally first, I anticipated that the prevalent theme would be changes: but I had thought that this would be changes regarding the past, whereas, it seems, the story concerns changes that come with a new future. This did not ruin my experience with the story; in fact, I believe this greatly accentuated it.

Among other expectations, I had a feeling this story would, if not concern religion as its subject, be at least concerned with spiritual and mystical undertones. That does seem to be the case; the fact that we have a priest character no doubt demonstrates this. Much of the description and dialogue, too, consists of allusions to “religious” themes, such as reverence, dignity, worship, and so forth. Yet the story never preaches a religious view, ironically speaking; rather, it lives within the religious moment, in a subtle but also celebratory way. It never says that the Church of which the priest is a part is the best church, nor does it condemn other forms of worship. In this way, I think the story, though it concerns religion, also partly isn’t about religion in the first place.

I want to go back to a brief observation, that this story lives within a religious moment. That word, “moment,” describes the kind of story we’re given. Though the exact time is unknown, I estimate that the entirety of the story—the priest rising and coming to the church, performing the sacred rituals, Discord arriving, their conversation, the final preparations, and then the watching of the sunrise—takes, perhaps, an hour or two at most. Yet, this hour or so doesn’t come across as either too slow or too fast. The moment lives within itself, matching its pacing, letting the reader into it with such remarkable intimacy, it’s a wonder that we’ve forgotten that this, essentially, is a literal short story. How time is condensed, how just over 2k words are—well, that isn’t my place to theorize, but it does happen, and one becomes sucked into the short narrative to the point that when they finish, they emerge in a bit of a daze (at least, I did).

All of this is to say, Gay for Gadot has done a remarkable job at writing a story built primarily on atmosphere and momentous occasion. In writing of such a small instance, she’s managed to convey a wide variety of emotions and themes, all very subtly, and with great care and grace.

If there is one critical flaw in the story, though, it’s that there isn’t really much of a conflict. Not that, I suppose, all stories need a conflict—I like stories which are glimpses into something more. But as it stands, I do feel the need to point out that this story may do a lot of pointing with its atmosphere and tones, but there’s also this sense that there must be more to it. Paradoxically, though the story’s length functions well on its own, part of that effect is that it feels the story doesn’t quite reach its critical or pivotal moment. Though it ends on a pretty scene and also on a hint of a wider confession on the part of Discord, the story seems to suggest that there is much more to itself—but rather than subtly demonstrating this in other ways, it takes it upon itself to be “clever” with such implications, in a way that is equal parts fascinating and disappointing.

I suppose, realistically, that the reader who expects to read a riveting tale of philosophy and a debate between, essentially, the god-servant and the devil-character, will be a bit upset that this story didn’t dive deeper into the relationships between the two, both within the narrative and within the culture of the story itself. Yet, I cannot say that this makes the story bad. Even without something more realized showing up, I think the plot holds well enough on its own. It may need more, but at the same time, it feels more-or-less fleshed out.

Score - 9 / 10

Characterization

We have two characters, here: the original character, Mister Waddle, the priest; and Discord, who, if the story’s genre and tropes are to be believed, is the devil-character.

It would seem that the story wants to position these in some manner of opposition, but also demonstrate that the time for such high-flung emotions has long since passed. The relationship between the two, as another commentator said, has mellowed, such that the two have something resembling friendship. However old Mister Waddle is and however long he’s performed his duty—I believe he mentioned that this would be, at least, the ten-thousandth sunrise he’s seen, meaning he might have worked as a priest for a good 27, 28 years?—it’s clear that there’s still enough in him to keep up with Discord’s antics.

With the use of such an OC, Gay for Gadot does need to do something to make him interesting, and I think she manages this in several ways. First, given the story’s exposition and various details, we may expect this character to be upset at seeing an empty chapel, empty pews, discarded and haphazard hymnals, and yet there’s never a sense that he’s upset or disappointed in his small congregation. He even remarks, somewhat ironically, “It bothers me none. Nor does it my congregation.”

This is an old and experienced stallion, in both age and religious practice. And yet, he isn’t perturbed by the evidence facing him. Even Discord’s taunts over what seems to be the death of worship, of churches, of the need to demonstrate reverence for what seems almighty (I loved that line about how weird it is to worship a being you could have tea with) do nothing to diminish Mister Waddle’s enthusiasm for his job.

And let me be clear on that: his occupation may be priest, but his job, it seems, is to appreciate the beauty of the sunrise. A sunrise which, let us now speak thematically, no doubts represents the consistency of change, the reversal of the past, the emergence of the future, and the hope for new things to come.

In this way, we come to appreciate that old stallion’s sentiments. Perhaps it’s a bit on the nose and simple, but then again, this is an old and experienced stallion. The many virtues of a long life in service to something greater lead much to the saying, “Simple is the mind of much age.” Put another way, Mister Waddle does not speak out of turn; he knows what he says, and says what he means.

What of Discord? Well, he serves the role of the prankster quite well, but if we are to continue speaking in terms of tropes and themes, he does seem to work as the devil, too. How fitting, considering his previous role as an antagonist, the perfect antithesis to the “God-like” zeal for harmony Equestria tends to worship. What I find interesting is the fact he’s not overtly hostile. He teases, as is fitting, he taunts, as is to be expected, but through implication, Gay for Gadot demonstrates that he is far beyond his previous evil tendencies. He may mock religion, but he doesn’t necessarily condemn Mister Waddle for what he does. There’s a certain amount of respect he has, especially since Mister Waddle is able to keep up and retort, quite calmly, to many of Discord’s criticisms.

Their relationship, as I’ve said, resembles a pseudo-friendship. Why might that be the case? Let’s consider the poem which opens the story:

He drew a circle that shut me out —
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!

The poem, called “Outwitted” and written by Edwin Markham, seems to suggest an answer to that question. Though I doubt Mister Waddle “loves” the devil-Discord, it’s clear that, through some kind of self-perseverance, he was able to overcome Discord’s tendencies. And in time, Discord was able to come to respect, perhaps even admire the stallion for his tenacity.

All, I suppose, are welcome in the warm bask of first sunrise.

This is where my critique of the story’s lack of a conflict might seem pointless, because I think that lack of a conflict works, given the story’s focus on these characters, and moreover, on where they are in their relation to each other. Yet, these characters feel fully fleshed out for what brief world the author has provided.

Score - 10 / 10

Syntax

This will be the shortest section, no doubt. I didn’t find any errors in either sentence construction or sentence clarity. Kudos!

Score - 10 / 10

Final Score - ( 9 + 10 + 10) / 3 = 9.67 / 10

Final Thoughts

It’s stories like these that make me wonder: is the duty of the reviewer just to review, or, additionally, to come to a greater understanding of the text? Were it not for the fact that this review might grow to be much larger, I think I’d spend a lot of time dissecting many of the elements in this story. Each component could be closely analyzed and given special understanding—I could come up with theories about what this story is hinting at and is truly about; I would love, even, to do a close analysis of the poem and many of the religious undertones this story exhibits—but that, alas, isn’t the duty of the reviewer.

If the length of this review is any indication, I seriously enjoyed this story. Gay for Gadot has a wonderful ear for character-driven stories, and even those that concern themselves with “smaller” issues always have something strong behind them. In this case, the story’s strongest component is its atmosphere of reverence and spirituality, from which all the good things in it stem.

Gay For Gadot