EA Ladder to the Sun

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Drama
• Slice of Life

Starlight tries her hoof in writing poetry, and while Sunburst knows more about the genre than her, she thinks she would rather die than let him read it, since most of them are about him.

• Trixie
• OC
• Other
• Starlight Glimmer
• Sunburst

FoolAmongTheStars · 11k words  ·  64  0 · 1.5k views

When Sunburst moves in with Starlight and their lives begin to truly weave together, Starlight finds herself questioning whether the feelings she has towards her childhood friend might be changing. FoolAmongTheStars brings us a vignette-styled love story inspired by the beauty of poetry.

Opening Thoughts

Ah, romance. I haven't had a chance to review a romantic fic yet! I'm so glad I get to do one in time for Valentine's I mean Hearts and Hooves day :) 

Since this fic is billed primarily as a romance, I'm going to be putting a little bit of extra weight on the characterization. Chemistry can be really, really hard to pull off, and I'll be closely considering the way the characters interact and play off each other in the characterization section.

The description also mentions poetry. I'm not entirely certain how poetry will be presented in the fic - depending on how much there is, I'll be pushing a little harder in the writing quality section, as well.

Plot/Concept

The concept at the heart of this story is wonderfully heartfelt and simple: Sunburst, after moving in with Starlight to be near the School of Friendship, recommends Starlight a book of poetry. We follow their day-to-day lives teaching and living together, with each night ending in Starlight reading from this book of poetry and trying desperately to unravel her feelings for Sunburst. It’s something that works great for both characters (in that it has a logical basis in canon while simultaneously pushing the characters in a new direction), and it’s simple enough to keep romance the primary focus. I find often that romantic stories either come with an oversimplified plot that infantilizes all involved, or a vastly overcomplicated plot that ends up overshadowing any attempt at romance in favor of resolving other narrative elements. This idea splits the difference neatly and effectively.

That said, there’s an odd sort of disconnection happening between the elements which contribute to the main plot (that is, the poetry book and poetry writing) and elements which merely set the stage for other conversations the author wants to highlight. 

What I mean is this: the story is set up to be a series of vignettes. While the story has a slice-of-life feel, we actually skip most of the day-to-day goings on, focusing on those moments where Starlight and Sunburst’s relationship grows and evolves. Sometimes these scenes take place between the characters, and sometimes they happen in quieter moments of self-reflection. While many of these moments are well-picked, some of them just seem a bit off. The best example is a subplot with an OC named Flemish that really doesn’t go anywhere, but some of the other scenes just have very strange or contrived set-ups as the spark for meaningful and revealing conversations. While I think these elements could have worked in a fic of much greater magnitude (read: wordcount), the plot elements in a ~10kw fic need to be incredibly focused. Anything that veers without later becoming important is going to end up feeling forgotten or extraneous.

I also want to briefly talk about the way this fic wrapped up, as a conclusion is an important part of plot analysis. I’ll talk about it more down in characterization and pacing, since I think some of this discussion belongs in those places, as well. What I will say in this section is that, while I get the intent behind the ending, I don’t feel that there was really enough narratively to back it up. I couldn’t confidently pin down the origin of the characters’ anger. It almost felt like anti-chemistry—like I was being talked out of what the author had spent 8k words talking me into. Though I don’t think it diminished the experience of what led up to it, I have to admit I was disappointed by this resolution. It just didn’t mesh with the rest of the fic.

4 / 5

Pacing/Length

I have a lot of praise to offer this fic as far as the pacing and the length go. This fic is bang on in terms of total word count—it matches the concept perfectly, delivering just enough words to be meditative without slipping too frequently into repetition. It’s a tough line to walk with romance, as a lot of will-they-won’t-they is sort of a fight against repetition. The pacing, too, walks an incredibly fine line of being slow enough to offer meditations on ephemeral feelings, while also doing a very effective job of “skipping to the good parts” and keeping each vignette conservative in its own length.

But, as with many elements of this fic, for every artistic and perfectly executed segment, there was one that let me down. While I have to say that the overall drive of this story was great, and it was absolutely fit into the right package, there was a “ramping up” effect that absolutely skyrocketed through the end. The first chapter is excellent. It’s paced perfectly, not to mention everything else being so spot-on excellent. The last two chapters, though, pick up pace almost exponentially, to the point where the resolution whipped past me so quickly I very nearly missed it.

I think (and, disclaimer, this is me being very speculative) that a lot of it comes down to this story not being written beginning to end before publishing. Each chapter, I think, holds its own in terms of consistency (though I still maintain that the first was the best). But, based on the author’s notes, this story was written in three pieces just as it was posted in three pieces. While I can see that there was clearly an overarching plan between these chapters, there’s just an odd disconnected feeling between them.

I have to give a lot of credit for the early chapter. Perfect pacing is not easy, and when I say the first chapter is perfect, I mean it. So, credit where credit is due. But that super tight, really well-crafted feeling of the first chapter dwindles over the last two.

4 / 5

Characterization

This story features Starlight and Sunburst, with Trixie popping up incidentally and an OC mostly discussed in passing. The characters used in passing are appropriately rendered as singular in nature, and really do a great job of uplifting Sunburst and Starlight, as well as pushing them in new directions.

Sunburst and Starlight are absolutely pitch perfect, with one notable exception. I want to be clear that, throughout this fic, I felt that these characters were depicted excellently—not only was their dialogue on point, but their overall choices and motivations fit perfectly within the story and the relationship. They bounce off each other wonderfully, they dance around one another in all these complicated feelings in a way that is an absolute joy to watch… I’m not the most passionate about starburst in general, but wow this had me shipping it through and through. 

However, I do have to bring up my quibbles with the ending of this story. While I have no trouble believing that Starlight would hate herself (or at the very least be extremely critical of herself) for falling in love with Sunburst, we don’t get to see that feeling develop. What we do see is a slow, peaceful realization of love that is borne from friendship, and an attitude that really says “I don’t need him to love me back”. While I could be convinced of either angle, they don’t really work together. 

Again, I really have to emphasize the expertise with which these characters were rendered for the other 90% of the story. Were it a one-off scene and not the emotional lynchpin of the story, I’d honestly be able to overlook it. 

4 / 5

Writing Quality

The quality of the writing in this story is really what took my breath away.

The story is written in the present tense. The author admits that this is their first go-round with present tense, but honestly… I never would have known. While there are some errors that I believe to be typos (which, as I may have mentioned in other reviews, I don’t typically grade for), these are more than made up for by an understanding of why one might use present tense in the first place, and what sorts of things present tense can do for you that past tense cannot.

It is very difficult to describe if you haven’t actually read the fic (which I recommend you do), but there is a groundedness, a closeness, that allows us as readers to see more deeply into Starlight, and to very nearly take part in the romance ourselves. A difference in tense really isn’t meaningful unless a difference in approach goes with it—this story utilizes the vignette style to keep emotions at the forefront of the story at all times, which is reinforced by the present tense style and its “live in the moment” feeling. In a word, this fiction is close. It takes you by the hand and does not let go. Again, I recommend reading it if that sounds intriguing or if you are trying to get a handle on how to effectively use present tense yourself; this fiction is a glowing example of it.

5 / 5

Je Ne Sais Quoi

I really enjoyed this fic. I don’t read many stories on here that give me the feeling of crawling into bed with a familiar favorite, but that is precisely how this story felt; its closeness and warmth, its subtle hand with characters and dialogue, its gentle burning romance that is unquestionably there before these two ever exchange a touch. I genuinely loved getting to read this fic slowly, getting to savor it, and having the opportunity to share it with you all (though its rating is glowing, it still has a fair few views by site standards!).

The few things that bothered me about this story—loose pacing towards the end, some out-of-left-field plot elements, and a character hiccup or two—hardly detracted from the overall feeling of warmth and love that this story left me with. It’s one of few stories I’ve read on here that actually left me desperate for more, though I have to respect the perfection of this little package with the big punch.

One thing that let me down a bit in a way that was perhaps unfair was the lack of actual poetry in the story. While the argument could be made that the overall style is incredibly poetic (and I would be first in line to make this argument), I wish I had seen even a few snippets of what Starlight got to read in the poetry book. I also felt like the poems we did see (both from Starlight) didn’t serve much narrative purpose… they were lovely, but they only repeated things we had already heard in Starlight’s internal dialogue. These are both very different issues, but they add together to mean that this story about poetry really doesn’t have much poetry to speak of. I would have loved to see more!

All in all, it’s a great story. With a little work in the back half, it could genuinely be a perfect one. I highly recommend it, whether or not you ship it—at the very least enjoy the unmitigated excellence of style and emotion in the opening chapter.

4 / 5

Final Thoughts

A quiet, thoughtful romance written in gripping present tense. Though it stumbles in some aspects, every small issue is made up for twice over with stunningly beautiful lines of prose and heartfelt depictions of two fan favorite characters. Shippers will love this piece, and nonshippers just might find themselves converted.

4.2 / 5

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First off, thank you for your time and dedication, your reviews are fair and insightful, so I was very happy to see this in your folder (and a little nervous since this is my first time getting a review), so I couldn't help but squeal a little when I got the notification that it was ready.

As for the review, I honestly didn't expect such a high score and the points you bring up are fair. The OC plotline is the biggest one. Yeah, he really was an afterthought, all things considered.

What I wanted to use him for was to showcase that, though Sunburst is a great guy all-around, he tends to live in his head most of the time, which in turn, makes him leave his relationships to the wayside and not pay attention to his surroundings. So when the OC comes in acting all huffy, Sunburst is confused since he remembered this guy being way more nicer (had he always been a jerk or did he change along the way?) and realizes that his lack of social skills and basic observation made him overlook who he really was. And how his negligence could've hurt Starlight in the process.

All that could have been a chapter in itself, but as you said, I wanted to get to the good parts

But overall, I can't stop thanking you enough, you made excellent points and, despite its weaknesses, this fic is really one of my personal favorites. Definitely one of my strongest pieces, so I'm glad I can brag now that it has a review.

Again, thank you thank you so so much!