1. My opening statement cannot be just an ad hominem attack against the defendant.
2. I am no longer allowed to bribe the judge in the middle of a trial, even if I do pay solely in electrum coins.
3. I cannot object to my own witness's testimony.
4. The defense is not as great nor as powerful as it likes to think it is.
5. I cannot attempt to summon Cthulhu in order to emphasize a point in court.
6. I am no longer allowed to say, "you better believe, I've got tricks up my sleeve," when presenting new evidence in court.
7. A stuffed animal cannot be called up as a witness.
8. I am not allowed to use impressive stage magic to sway the jury to my side.
9. I am not allowed to imitate the witness and put numerous profanities in their testimony when they are unwilling or unable to speak.
10. I cannot start an opening statement with, "Everything that guy just said was nonsense. Thank you."
11. I am not allowed to make up evidence on the spot during a trial.

Read this story for more shenanigans like these. Seriously, it's funny.

7309121 Thank you so much for the share. I added it to my bookshelf. :3