TSmooth as Silk

• MLP: FiM
• Horror

Fluttershy isn’t afraid of spiders. She should be.

• Fluttershy

Zontan · 2k words  ·  60  8 · 1.5k views

Ah, yes, spiders. The arachnid that has become synonymous with horror over the years. Some people think they’re creepy. Others love them. I don’t really care about them myself, unless they’re really big and threatening. Then we might have a problem.

Anyways. Today’s story is about spiders. For my 20th review (yay!), we’re going to be talking about Zontan’s Smooth as Silk, which is as the tag states, a horror story. So if you don’t like spiders, consider this your content warning, because we’re going to be talking about spiders. A lot. Let’s hit it. 

The story itself is pretty straightforward and doesn’t really give much away. In fact, the story isn’t actually all that intense at all, so it isn’t really a heart pounder but it isn’t really a slow burner either. And I don’t think it’s one of those stories that slowly builds you up with a sense of dread either, because for the first… well, three quarters of the story, everything basically goes fine for Fluttershy.

She walks through the forest, finds a spider companion, and does some conflict resolution when some of them get a bit aggressive. The author coaxes you into this false sense of security by making you think Fluttershy’s pretty much got this under control. And if you didn’t read the tags or if you didn’t know this was a horror story, the ending might just catch you off guard.

The ending is where things get really interesting, because here’s where things suddenly get pretty dark, and the reader is left with a sense of dread by means of an open ending. Meaning that while what happens to Fluttershy isn’t really explicitly stated (I don’t know if she passed out or suffocated)… it doesn’t look too good for her.

So all in all, there isn’t a lot of buildup, which is an interesting approach for a horror story. Horror is a genre that’s pretty much defined by making the reader feel uneasy, and this story isn’t that much different. It just waits until the very last moment to hit you with that sudden punch.

Now, is this a problem? Maybe, maybe not. I personally don’t think it is, but this kind of thing reminds me of something an EQD pre-reader once told me:

It's a nice twist, but it feels like the kind of story that exists only to deliver that twist instead of using it to convey a message.

Now granted this story and the one he’s referring to are two completely different genres. But it is an interesting thing to bring up. Because if the author were to swap the ending, this could become a very different story, maybe even a slice of life one at that.

I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, but the whole ‘horror’ concept is pretty much leaning on the ending of the story as opposed to being laced throughout. Is it still effective? Yes. But is it going to be engaging for avid horror fans? That’s a question that I’m not sure I can answer. 

I mean, there’s really only Fluttershy, and she’s pretty close to her canon personality, if not a bit braver than she used to be. And that’s fine, because the author justifies it pretty well. The Everfree is like her backyard at this point, so she’s confident enough to venture into it alone. She’s also confident in her own abilities to communicate with animals and creatures, which is ironically what leads to her downfall.

I didn’t have any real problems with how she was presented. But I also don’t have much else to say here.

Huzzah, another short section! Grammar was sound, and I couldn’t find any real big problems with it. I only made like two or three suggestions that are up to the author, but everything else seems solid. Good job! 

So what do we have here? In my mind, we have a story that delivers a pretty good twist, but beyond the twist there isn’t much else. And don’t get me wrong, for the purposes of this story it’s effective and brilliant, but it’s something that I’m not sure would work well out of context.

And yes, the fact that it is a shorter story helps it out, but I’m not sure if a reader who wants to be scared would stick around if the story were any longer. The twist itself isn’t really what comes to get her (I think I figured it out before reading it), but it’s more of the realization that Fluttershy is in way over her head.

Also I don’t know why it’s tagged teen, unless Fluttershy did actually die at the end. The atmosphere, language, and descriptions don’t really scream ‘teen’ to me, and I think this could probably pass as an everyone story unless I’m wrong about the ending.

And… yeah, I think that’s all I’ve got for this one. We’re going to be keeping with the horror theme and tackle the7savior’s The Terror Below Hayseed Manor next time, so see you then! Deuces. 

If you like a short, lighter-style horror piece, then you might like this story. But if you’re a fan of eldritch demons, creepy curses, dark atmospheres, or spooky settings, you may not enjoy this one as much. 

I think this is a pretty well-rounded story that goes against a lot of the standards set by horror writers, yet it is still able to be surprising and delightfully dreadful all the same. I don’t know if it appeals specifically to hardcore horror fans, but people looking for a lighter read without blood or guts or gore may like this one. So great job! 

I do have my reading notes for your fic, if you would like to see them let me know.

Plot: 6
Characterization: 7
Grammar: 8

Average: 7