EAround And Around

• Equestria Girls
• Drama

After weeks trapped in a time loop, Sunset Shimmer can't take it anymore. Fortunately, a friend is there to help her.

• Sunset Shimmer
• Sci-Twi

TCC56 · 1.5k words  ·  102  1 · 2.5k views

Ah, the good old fashioned time loop story. A-tried-and-true form of storytelling that never really gets old… even if it is the same thing over and over again. So I guess it does get old. Hm.

Anyways, today’s story is about deja-vu. Today we’re going to be talking about TCC56’s Around and Around, which follows Sunset Shimmer as she struggles to cope with being stuck in a time loop. Now, before you get all excited, I have to state that the story actually doesn’t really focus on the time loop itself. Rather, it reads more as an analysis of Sunset’s character than it does a good old fashioned time warp story. Let’s hit it.

So, first thing I want to say: is this thing called the Starswirl Music Festival or the Starswirled Music Festival? Because the description says one thing while the story says something else. Continuity!

Anyways. As I said earlier, the time warp is at the same time a driving source of the story yet it isn’t. The time warp is important, yes, because it’s the whole reason for Sunset’s breakdown. And it’s understandable, having to stay in the same hundred-something day would probably drive everyone a little crazy. So props to her for lasting this long.

But at the same time, the time loop isn’t really grounded or even explained. It just… happens. The specifics of the story aren’t touched up on, which kind of make me sad because there’s so much to talk about when dealing with one of these things.

Unfortunately, we really don’t get much information about it. In fact, we don’t even really know how Sunset got into this loop, what she’s tried to do to get out of it, or other specifics. Kind of a bummer, really.

Because at its heart, this story isn’t really about the time loop. It’s about Sunset and Twilight and their friendship, and offers some commentary as to why we matter. The thing about this story is that it feels like the time loop concept is really the only thing that sets it apart from other stories in this genre. In fact, the time loop is really more of a backdrop than anything else, really, and doesn’t honestly add much to the story. We could take it out and end up with pretty much the exact same story about Sunset and Twilight. 

Sunset is pretty well fleshed out, and her breakdown is of course understandable given circumstances. But again, I really wish I had some more information as to everything that’s been dragging her down at this point. I’d love some details of everything she’s tried to do so far, only to hopelessly find herself back at the very beginning, no closer to a solution. As it stands I guess it’s fine though.

Twilight also is pretty well written, and the bond between these two characters is strong. You can read into this either romantically or platonically, but it's still clear they care a lot for each other. I guess the only complaint I can make is that while Twilight helps Sunset get courage to keep fighting, she doesn’t actually offer any solution as to the time warp itself, which again just feels secondary compared to everything else. 

The prose gets a little bit thick at times but it doesn’t affect the story all that much. An error I noted involves ellipses, as the author only uses two periods instead of the traditional three (four if it’s at the end of the sentence)/ Other than that, pretty solid. 

I think my biggest problem with this story is that it’s not centered around what it’s supposed to be centered around. Take out the time warp and we’ve still got a self-sufficient slice of life sad fic about Sunset and Twilight.

Other than that, the story seems pretty solid. It just seems a bit lackluster in details and leaves a lot of unanswered questions for the reader about the whole concept of a time loop. Which kinda sucks, because there are so many directions that the story could go! It just… doesn’t really go anywhere on this front.

That about wraps things up for this review. Up next we have our very own Naliah, with her work Oh, Pony! I Shrunk My Sister! See you there!

If you like hurt/comfort stories and EQG, you might like this work, but readers who are interested in the technical aspect of time loops or are looking for an adventure type story centered on time loops may be left disappointed. 

A time loop is an intriguing idea, and it’s why I went against my usual picks and chose your story. I’m kinda bummed you didn’t really take the time loop idea anywhere, but it is your story in the end. And sure, what I want to see might not be in line with what you want, but I guess that’s just the art of writing. Still a pretty solid work though.

I do have my reading notes for your fic, if you would like to see them let me know.

Plot: 3
Characterization: 6
Grammar: 8

Average: 5.67

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So, first thing I want to say: is this thing called the Starswirl Music Festival or the Starswirled Music Festival? Because the description says one thing while the story says something else. Continuity!

Starswirled is, in fact, correct. I'll make the correction - that's pure error, that. (I'll get the missed ellipses, as well.)

Unfortunately, we really don’t get much information about it. In fact, we don’t even really know how Sunset got into this loop, what she’s tried to do to get out of it, or other specifics. Kind of a bummer, really.

I kinda didn't feel going into depth on the how and why of the loop was needed - it's the central plot element of Sunset's Backstage Pass. As you said, it wasn't the focus so I figured repeating the story already presented in the show was superfluous. This story's meant to be a scene that squeezes into the middle of that special - somewhere in the montage section of the same day repeatedly passing Sunset by.

Still, you're right that taken in a vacuum it's lackluster and leaves a lot on the table. It likely did hurt the overall story by drawing the focus away from what's on the front of the box, so to speak. I'll be happy that I at least nailed some good characterization!

Thank you very much for the review!

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I knew I was missing something. That makes a whole lot more sense, and it went over my head since I don't pay attention to anything that happens in EQG. My apologies then.

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Nah not at all - like I said, you aren't wrong. Taken on its own, the story doesn't leverage the time loop well at all. I sort of took it for granted while writing, and just presumed everyone reading would know what was going on. That's a big weakness.