EThe Party Planner Ponies Proposal

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Comedy
• Slice of Life

A few years after the show has ended, Pinkie Pie will receive a very important proposal from her very special friend Cheese Sandwich. But will his question bring the two party planner ponies together, or tear them apart?

• Fluttershy
• Pinkie
• Discord
• Cheese Sandwich
• Maud Pie

Ninjadeadbeard · 7.5k words  ·  48  4 · 1.7k views

Summary of Story here: Set a few years after Magic is Friendship has ended, Pinkie Pie is living her life in Ponyville much as she always has. She helps take care of the Cake twins, she plans parties, and she spreads joy to everypony she comes across. When Cheese Sandwich returns to Ponyville to ask her a very special question, it throws her whole world for a whirl, and these star-crossed ponies will have to figure out how they can be together even when they have to stay apart.

Initial thoughts: Pinkie and Cheese, and romance? YES. I enjoy reviewing stories in general, but I really love it when it has romance and fluff and is a pairing I enjoy. And I had a kid of these two as one of my oc's, so clearly I like them. This story is set after the main show has ended, and I think the setup for this is very believable. However...I do have a few nitpicks, but we'll get into that in just a bit. 7/10

What I liked: I like the romance, the fluff, and the characters. I've always thought it made sense for Pinkie and Cheese to be together, and while I don't see anything truly "special" about this tale, the way it is written just works. Considering this is their first story for Fimfiction that is quite the impression to leave!

What I didn't like: Well...honestly the conflict here is one of those situations where if the two just sat down and talked instead of Pinkie running off all upset, the story could've been even more emotional, but instead it follows the trail of those "cheap" romantic movies, where one of the lovers gets "upset" and goes running off, avoiding the problem, and sulking. I think Pinkie would know to just take a deep breath and talk things out with Cheese. Granted, I can also see why the author wrote it out, wanting there to be a conflict in the story, but it's unnecessary. It doesn't need to be there for this story to be good.

Grammar: Solid. However there are a few slight misspellings. Like saying "Inkie" instead of Pinkie in one case, but nothing too distracting. Another look through would clean this up. 8/10

Characterzation: Believable, very fitting for Pinkie and Cheese, a bit overreacting on Pinkie's part, but in a way, it just makes sense for her. So I'm going to let it slide. Maud being the one to act as a counselor was a bit of a surprise. 9/10.

Story/Concept: The story is just as good as the characters, however the same issue of the romance plot and getting upset isn't really needed here, but the story is still very uplifting at the end of the day. I just feel we didn't need the whole sulking part, and this could've been great instead of just "good" 7/10

Overall thoughts: I enjoyed this story a LOT. I really do love PinkieCheese, I mean I didn't make Canon Fire for nothing. This story is good, enjoyable and I'd recommend it to any fan of CheesePie, or romance fans, just note this has a particular plot you can tell about halfway through. 8/10

Final score: 7+8+9+7+8=39/50
7.5/10

To Ninja: Just be sure when writing Romance you don't fall into those typical tropes, because a lot of people get tired of seeing them. This story is enjoyable and really good, however this predictable bit holds it back from being great, but overall it's a really good first story and one you should be proud of. Keep being awesome.

Thanks so much for the review! It kills me that I left in the errors, and if I was writing this again... I might swap out the conflict for more schmaltz.