EThe Place I Feel Safest

• MLP: FiM
• Sad
• Slice of Life

Roseluck gardens for many reasons. Of them all, one stands out.

• OC
• Roseluck

Lucky Seven · 4.1k words  ·  130  3 · 1.6k views

"The Place I Feel The Safest." Is a very well written story about the main character Roseluck, going about her day reminiscing on friends "Long Gone" as insinuated by the first chapter's title, and how she eventually earned her cutie mark.

Thoughts just after reading:
To say that at the end of this story I was left speechless and with tears in my eyes would be an understatement. There is no proper combination of words to truly express the sheer beauty of this story, besides the melancholic feeling it leaves behind and the distant memories of friends long past that this story invokes. Truly making it a bittersweet beauty. It is so beautiful in fact that I would highly recommend to any and all to give it a read. For if literature is art, this is a masterpiece. 10/10 would cry again.

So, now let's break it down into technical nonsense for all of you who enjoy that sorta thing. Let's begin, shall we?

Grammar: 10/10
I personally failed to find any grammatical errors.

The Stories Morality: 9/10
They say a good story also comes with a good moral, and although most stories strive to achieve a good moral by the end, very few actually achieve this premise. Even fewer actually sticking with you long past the stories end. But "The Place I Feel The Safest." is truly the rarest of the rare, reminding readers that, when all is said and done, "all thing's have their time in the sun." what matters is what you do with it.

Plot Progression: 7.5/10
If dear reader you are well-read or fairly accustomed to stories involving loss, the ending of this story can be seen from a mile away. It's almost cliche' in that right. But, by the end, the stories still leaves you feeling such strong emotions, that it may as well be the first time you're reading a story of it's kind.

My Advice To The Author:
Your story itself is, in my opinion, a masterpiece, but not one without its flaws. Most notably the way you transition between past and present using the (hr) bracket. It's quite jarring at first and while listening to it with fimfictions automatic reader (as I was jotting down notes.) I had to do a double-take to make sure it didn't accidentally skip a paragraph or something. I quickly became aware that the (hr) and italics helped signify that that section was in the past, but a visually impaired if not blind individual would have most likely been left completely lost as to why there was such a sudden change in setting and character motivation.

Of course, there is no one simple fix to transitions, as most if not all of them are a case by case basis. But, still should be considered.

Final score:
Grammar: 10/10
The Stories Morality: 9/10
Plot Progression: 7.5/10

26.5/30 -> 8.8/10

7003633
Honestly it's hard to see the screen right now past my insanely huge grin. Thank you so much for the kind words and praise, it means the world.

As for the critique, I'll definitely take care to make sure the transitions work better across all mediums in the future, thank you very much for pointing that out to me. I'd love to be inclusive of everyone reading the story, and I'll definitely try to work something in for that.

7003633
Great review, Sky! I'd totally have claimed this one too, one-shot sadfics are my favourite

Also, this has to be the first time I've heard someone comment about accessibility for people listening to a fanfic