TA SciTwi Shimmer Christmas

• MLP: FiM
• Equestria Girls
• Romance
• Drama
• Slice of Life

Sunny takes ill as we prepare for Christmas.

• Sex
• Human
• Alt. Universe
• Other
• Main 7 (EqG)

pabrony · 8.9k words  ·  69  10 · 2.3k views

Summary: As we prepare for our first Christmas as a married couple, Sunny begins to take ill.

Overall thoughts: I have always loved christmas specials growing up year after year, so I went into this expecting to feel the warm fuzzy feelings of christmas and joy, with a bit of sadness due to the potential of Sunset not feeling well. Sadly, I didn't feel very much emotion in this piece. It's suppose to be right in your face, wrench at your heart and make you cry, but personally, I didn't feel the weight of what was going on. Now, granted the ending is overall, predictable, and for some that can lose the suspense of figuring out what's wrong. Granted, it's not bad, it's just average. And you never want your story to be "just another christmas story." You want to stand out. You HAVE to stand out, with this kind of theme. 4/10

Creativity: I admit it can be hard to find a truly original way of doing a christmas special, but even as that is. This idea is very generic. I've seen it done numerous times, and there's nothing about the characters chosen that truly makes it worthwhile. 5/10

Grammar: As far as I can tell, there is no real issue with grammar. Solid in my mind. 10/10

Additional thoughts: Don't get discouraged, keep on writing more awesome stories about Sunset and Twilight, this one just isn't up to the caliber of your other pieces. At least not to me. This is my opinion, and while some might disagree, I'm not about to change it to suit the crowd.

Final score: 6/10
Even though it's average, the grammar and the story flow are solid. It's just as Rarity would say "ordinary"