EThe Day From Hell

• Equestria Girls
• Romance
• Drama
• Sad

Halfway through my pregnancy, I have my worst day ever.

• Alt. Universe
• Shining Armor
• Sunset Shimmer
• Dean Cadance
• Sci-Twi

pabrony · 6.3k words  ·  69  9 · 2.5k views

Summary: As my pregnancy passes the halfway point, I'm hit with the worst day of my life.

Overall thoughts: This story hits you right in the feels, however, I didn't really "feel" the weight of the situation. I feel like there could have been oh so much more that could have helped this piece truly be a heart breaking, heart wrenching experience for the reader, and the breaks in between each chapter, just seem out of nowhere, and can be hard to follow. Overall, it's not a bad piece, just needs more descriptive, and a LOT more emotions to carry this kind of story.

Creativity: I can't honestly say this is a very creative idea. I've seen it done numerous times, having something horrible happen to the love of your life for the sake of feels, and there's nothing really "unique" at least in my mind that makes it worth the read in the first place. 3/10

Grammar: Grammar wise, there's not a whole lot to fix here, but there are a few things like the breaks in between each part. It's not exactly grammar, but it bothered me, and feel this is the place to address it. 5/10

Additional thoughts: I enjoyed the previous piece "Fears" but this one just didn't hit the mark for me. For obvious reasons that could be fixed obviously, though with how long it's been out I highly doubt that might happen. However, there is nowhere to go but up from here, so don't give up and keep writing.

Overall Score: 6/10

To Azure: Sorry for the wait, life has been hectic on me lately.

6855311
Another good review, good job

Well, it is more or less my job to 'encourage' the reviewers to make a reasonable amount of reviews in a reasonable timespan So good you on the track again