7866659
most of it comes from this excerpt:

"I was talking to Headmare Twilight, and we had an idea!" Ocellus pulled out a neatly organized pile of... Smolder's school work.

Ocellus must've scavenged them from her locker. With a tinge of irritation, the Smolder took a paper, and stared until she felt a hiccup coming on. It would burst into flames, she wouldn't be able to do any of it.

The ellipsis makes Smolder seem reluctant, like she doesn't want to do the work. Understandable if she feels sick, so that could go either way. Then that "irritation." It sounded to me like it's the prospect of doing her homework that's irritating her. That was confirmed in my head when the next sentence seemingly has her plotting how to get rid of the homework.

I see your point that she was afraid she would inadvertently burn it, not that she was intending to do so deliberately. It just came across as deliberate to me. Then where Ocellus fireproofing it sounded to me like her making sure Smolder couldn't weasel out of doing it, you meant for it to mean Ocellus was helping alleviate Smolder's fear that she'd waste time doing it if she accidentally burned it afterward.

Maybe the interpretation you wanted to get across was a bit too subtle, or maybe I just didn't pick it up well enough. One of the lessons I learned long ago in flash fiction contests is that subtlety is really hard to achieve in a small package. In longer form, you can take as much space as you want to drop additional hints without spelling it out, but in short fiction, you may be limited to a single hint. It's far more often in flash fiction than in longer forms that an author (me included) becomes frustrated because a reader just didn't get it. I'll usually be a little more blunt in flash fiction.

Feedback, Round #3:

7853137

Okay, that ending came out of nowhere. I think they should rather use the Elements on Rainbow Dash, she sounds like she has become possessed by the ghost of an ever-complaining brony with alicorn wing allergy.

7853323

A very ruthless villain. Sacrifing your own son for your evil masterplan is quite a thing to do.
This villain does not really feel like a "Final Fantasy" villain to me, though. Compared to what I still remember of these games, he feels different, darker and more ruthless than any FF villain I remember. He feels more fitting to what little I have seen of those newer FF games, post-X, that differ in style so much and don't do the series justice anymore. Or maybe I just don't remember the villains of the old, true FF games well enough anymore, it was a very, very, very long time ago since I touched FF.
Generally speaking, he seems like an exciting villain. I would read more about him.

7853358

Yes, being expected to keep up with your school assignments while you're sick is pure evil. I can relate. I had this happen to me once and I didn't understand it. Why can't they just let me be sick and cure myself out and let me catch up the schoolwork when I'm back at school again? That makes you feel like a work slave whose health doesn't matter.
A very creative take on the prompt and one with an underlying, serious message. I would love to see this flashfic expanded into a dramatic story that deals with this subject.

7853514

Hmm, I admit, I'm a little at a loss here regarding the prompt, probably because I don't understand all costumes. Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon are obvious, Dr. Maregele took me a moment, then I figured it out. But I don't see how "Pure Evil" relates to Colonel First Strike, I don't see an implication of something evil with him. Unless the chicken Joke at the end is meant with that (assuming that Scootaloo wears this costume), then yes, that is pure evil.
A Nightmare Night flashfic in July is not something I expected. A nice appetizer for the best season of the year that will start soon now.

7854186

A villain wants to try out something new, after doing villain jobs for so long, that's a hilarious idea. I guess she worked as a henchpony for bigger villains? The color of her coat makes this even funnier. And I wonder if "Pure Evil" is her actual name or something like an artist's name.

7855137

Children are pure of heart (or so they say, at least, there are exceptions), so extracting all the evil from Trixie turned her back into a foal. Makes sense. Although, I wonder how there could be so much evil in Trixie that it gets described as "pure" and "concentrated"? Trixie is not so evil, never really was except for that one time when she was being controlled by the Alicorn Amulet, so I guess this is a different timeline here? If so, that would make for an interesting redemption of Trixie, she got another chance by becoming a young foal again and has the opportunity to start her life over. If only it would be so easy sometimes.....
This flashfic also strikes an interesting philosophy here. Does becoming an adult mean to become evil? Is that how one turns into an adult, by becoming evil? That's interesting food for thought.

7855358

What question did Rainbow Dash answer, when she brought up this ancient pegasus? This seems like they're telling each other campfire stories, but Rainbow Dash didn't tell a story, she just quickly explained the history of Epfihaytes. An interesting bit of lore of this particular equestrian universe/timeline that I would like to know more of, I'm just confused by the setting. Also, why is Twilight eating fish?

7859746

A little harsh to call his decision "Pure Evil", but I see how the prompt got adapted here. The last line in her letter sounds like she already loved him, though, so this leaves me feeling a little that the love poison he used would not have been necessary here.
One of the big mysteries Generation 4 left us with, a question we never got answered, I love to read a theory about this historical incident.

7859788

Mosquitoes are already pure evil, nothing can change that and it can't get worse. The only thing that would make this flashfic better would be if it were about spiders. They don't sting, but the shit they creep out of you by suddenly sneaking up and roping themselves down from the ceiling while you unsuspectingly sit at your computer makes it hard not to think that they are pure evil.
Trapping the essence of evil in a bottle is terrifying. If the wrong hooves would get that bottle and use its content.....

7874042 Rainbow Dash is just jelly of Flurry Heart's big wings.

7874042
Yeah, he's not much of a traditional villain found in the FF games, that honor goes to Sol. However, he's very comparable to FF7's President Shinra. It was never my intention, I just needed to think up of a character that has the power and the means to steal Equestria's magic and use it in a way that's considered new to the MLP series, but Yimeck and Shinra are practically one in the same.

• Both are cold hearted businessmen.
• Both run a company that's pretty much a metropolis.
• Both rob their universes' variation of mana.
• Both act like they've already won.
• Both sever more than what's needed just to destroy those that cross them.
• Shinra/Yimeck had a hand in birthing/developing the main villain thanks to their experimentation.

I was honestly just trying to envision what a competent Donald Trump would be like and started to build Yimeck's character from there, but there are a lot more similarities than there are differences when compared to Shinra.

7874113

I don't know much about Shinra or FF7, but reading how they are both responsible for the main villain's actions makes me hopeful about there being a more traditional FF-style villain in your story. I hope I'll be able to read it soon.

7893538
I hope I can finish it soon.

It's been over 3 years and there's 15 chapters planned. I'm only on the 8th chapter, stuck somewhere in the mines with Shining and Flash just talking. The poor FF villain is still waiting 2 chapters away. At least his signature skill will be revealed in the 9th.

7894034

Hmm, I remembered seeing a complete, ponified FF story on your account..... now I checked and I see the story is at seven chapters right now. I mixed it up with "The Legend of Alicorns" in my head. Mandela Effect can be a bitch.
But I also hope to read that one soon. Even more so now, once I understand the story, I might be able to be of assistance with the writer's block problem.