As soon as I saw this story in the voting thread, I knew it would win convincingly. Let's all give some love to one of the most gorgeous background ponies on the whole show: Roseluck! Coming out on top with four votes more than any other story, here is Noble Thought's Ghost of a Rose.

This marks the first time we have had a story to read breaking into the >50k words mark. As such, readers have fourteen days to finish the story as opposed to the usual seven before we open up discussion in the Skype group, which you can join by shooting ToixStory a PM. If you do not have a Skype account, or do not wish to join, this thread will also be opened after fourteen days from today for discussion.

We also encourage commenting on the actual story.

Happy reading, everyone!

Well, let's do this!

It's probably the best damned characterization of Roseluck I've seen because it's probably the only time I've seen her not used doing the 'The horror!' schtick from the show.

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Just for you!

I'll save my review/commentary on my own story for last, too.

I've been typing and then backspacing stuff for a good ten minutes now. I keep starting to type things, then take them back, as I find whatever I just wrote was not even close to what I wanted to say.

Never thought commenting on a story would be this difficult, but then again, Ghost of a Rose isn't an ordinary story. Heck, I have to wonder if it's really a story at all. Perhaps it is better described as a literary version of a Holodeck. (why yes, I am a Trekkie; how did you guess?)

I guess what I mean is, I never felt like I was reading Ghost, so much as I was experiencing it. The narration may say '3rd person', but from the very beginning, I felt like I was in Roseluck's head, seeing things directly through her eyes in real-time. But the richness, the depth of the narration went far beyond that; sights, sounds, smells, emotions... It all felt like it was happening to me and Rose at the same time. On this count alone, Ghost should be held up as a prime example of 'reader immersion' done to perfection. (something I was happy to do when co-chairing a fanfic panel at Crystal Fair STL this Fall)

As for the plot itself, what else can I say but 'wow'. I recall the author saying that characters - and their story - morphed as the story progressed, and I have to say that I felt a similar thing as a reader. One cannot help but to formulate opinions of the characters from the start of any story, and the mind is always at work dissecting the story, trying to unravel the threads and make sense of it all (if not anticipate what's next). I did the same with Ghost, but Noble Thought kept me guessing - and reevaluating even my guesses - at every turn.

Yet the turns were not sudden, nor were they forced or contrived. Even well-written stories hammer the readers with plot twists most of the time. Seen from a mile away or not at all, they impact with the force of an anvil. Here though, Noble buried the twists and turns so deeply into the narrative, you don't feel the impact of the changes. You simply soak them in as you go, resetting your evaluation of the characters to compensate as if it all made perfect sense. The kicker is - it makes perfect and no sense at once. Yet it works so beautifully, you can't help but adjust your mind accordingly and move on.

Going into chapter 8, I still was only 95% sure of the contours of Rose's scenario, her central goal, and even the true identity and motivation of Mirror. For all of his masterful work massaging the story (and the reader's mind) as the chapters progressed, Noble always left just enough fog on the field to prevent me from locking in my 'final answer' on Ghost. I normally see this kind of doubt when reading crime dramas or the occasional mystery/thriller, but I've never seen it done this well - especially on a romance-oriented story.

Speaking of Romance, if others have not said it, I'll be the first: Rose, Post Hate, and their family needs to have their own dedicated story. The buildup of their relationship was superb from start to finish. From first dates to kisses to makeouts, marriages, and foals, Noble did an incredible job keeping it all grounded and real, but also a perfect mixture of cute and heartwarming (with a tasteful dash of saucy to keep it lively when needed) I would absolutely love to see a full shipfic done for this family.

I could ramble on forever, but you all are probably tired of reading this already, lol. So, I'll close with this: I'm sure Noble could come in here and tell us about a number of flaws that he sees in Ghost, as would any author when talking about their own work. I'm no professional critic, but absent a typo that is surely hiding somewhere, I'm not afraid to say that I find this story without fault. Characterization, narration, depth, imagery, you name it, this story delivers in spades. I'll gladly stand by my original comment from this story's completion: This is one of the best pieces of literature - fanfic or otherwise - that I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

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How does an author respond to a comment like this? Not lightly, that's for sure. Let me just say that this floored me. I've been trying to think of how to reply. So I won't. Not directly to the praise, anyhow (which was staggering). Instead, let me address the bit at the end. This:

So, I'll close with this: I'm sure Noble could come in here and tell us about a number of flaws that he sees in Ghost, as would any author when talking about their own work.

My retrospective will be more about the whys and the wherefores instead of an examination of the story itself. Sort of a... behind the scenes look at the author's mind - several months after the planning was finished and the story completed. Tainted by hindsight, of course. It's true that I could point out the flaws I see, let you all know what issues I have with the story... but that might hurt your own enjoyment of it. So I won't.

Instead, I'd like to look at inspiration, what I saw in the imagery and symbolism in the story (hint, mirrors and reflections play a part), and how I interpreted and came up with certain tiny bits of lore sprinkled throughout.

3856395 Fair enough, good sir. Fair enough.

Still, the praise is well earned and wholly deserved. Definitely looking forward to reading your thoughts on the story.

I was busy the past two weeks so I finally read through the whole thing in one go yesterday night (or earlier today for US peeps).

I'd say my first impression is that it's really good. The mystery is light and just tantalizing enough to speculate on and it encourages the right questions. But of course, that's not the main point of the story. It's about Roseluck remembering her life and returning to it. Really good job on making me believe that Roseluck was dead until the Reveal. This is one of the best coma story I've read on the site so far.

The gradual reveals are great, really no complaints on that front. The only misgivings I felt were the lack of urgency after the Reveal with Mirror shoving her roses after roses so Roseluck could get out asap and the pacing in the last two chapters. I felt that Roseluck should have at the very least tried harder to help Mirror and ultimately find out that it was useless. I guess the long flashbacks undercut whatever urgency Mirror tried to have. The current scenes work but I'm a sucker for emotional drama so I guess it felt subdued for me, especially with the last rose.

Good job on the story.

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Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was a joy to write, certainly.

I will admit that the pacing of the last chapter especially, after the final emotional confrontation at the start of chapter 7, was slower than it could have been. However, you're right. There's a certain problem of wanting something to move faster when Rose's memories moved at their own pace, counter to Mirror's urgency. I tried to show a bit of that tedium in the final scene where Rose was stuck in the mirror world. Before, Mirror could close her eyes and just let time pass her by. With Rose there, time crawled, and she was aware of every moment of it.

least tried harder to help Mirror and ultimately find out that it was useless.

That was the original plan, actually. The problem was that I couldn't find a way for Rose to do so and not hold the idiot ball, something I tried to avoid throughout the story. No plot induced stupidity or blindness. But, simply not knowing what to say... a very personal reaction.

In other notes, I decided that I was going to publish my retrospective view: Retrospective: Ghost of a Rose. This is a look at the behind the scenes. Some of my hindsight insights into the characters, lore, and plot elements.

It's long. 4600 words or so. I'm not going to dump all of it in here because... well... story length blog post.

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That was the original plan, actually. The problem was that I couldn't find a way for Rose to do so and not hold the idiot ball, something I tried to avoid throughout the story. No plot induced stupidity or blindness. But, simply not knowing what to say... a very personal reaction.

Dang. I guess it couldn't be helped, then. =x Anything is better than an Idiot Ball. =x