Explosions everywhere. Gunfire. The dying screams of tiny baby-men, like little girls. The clanging of frying pan as one tiny baby-man uses it to cave inattentive sniper's skull in — an impressive feat for one with such frail little noodle arms. Rinnaul nods in approval and resumes eating his sandvich as two charging demomen collide behind him with enough force to cause an explosion, killing them both.

It is chaos. But it is comforting chaos. He has a pla—

Bang. “AAAAAAAAGH!”

An enemy spy, mid-leap as he leaves the spawn room ledge, nails a flawless Ambassador headshot from the far end of the map, killing him instantly. It is not hacks. He knows this spy.

Fucking Yellowshade.

Respawn is instant, but the climb back to the top of the rocks takes time. He is a man who has eaten many, many sandviches, and his is not a body built for climbing. But then, as he reaches the top, a light shines down from the sky.

The call goes out. The time has come. Submissions have been cleared.

Rinnaul looks up to the light. It awaits him. His purgatory. And also, his home. There is a task for him there. His memes are needed.

He places his sandvich down for whoever next climbs the rocks, and looks out over the madness that is x10 Randomizer Hightower one more time.

“FRIENDS!” He calls out. “I MUST GO! MY PEOPLE NEED—”

Bang. “AAAAAAAAGH!”

Oh my god eat dicks Yellowshade.

This is not a rage quit, he tells himself as he uninstalls the game once again.

The game has become a huge time sink, after all, and he has shit to do, like reviews.

Hell, maybe he’ll give up video games for Lent.

Whatever happens, now is time for TEAM HEAVY.

That’s right! Rinnaul has grown bored, and tired of waiting for that one last thing in Savoured’s folder to get done, so he has gone rogue and will open his folder tonight!

You have three hours as I type this, so likely more like two once I post it. The folder will open at 11 PM Eastern tonight, and I’m only taking the first 20-30 things that get in. So now, you must decide:

Do you share this announcement, helping the community get is but risking your own position?

Or do you selfishly keep it secret, in the hope that you make the tiny, tiny window of the opening?

Either way,

Submission rules, you ask! THERE ARE NONE! Rinnaul reads anything!

However, Rinnaul also wants to keep things moving quickly, and thus would appreciate people favoring shorter fics over long ones.

Also, as always, Rinnaul welcomes clop.

Finally, YOU JOIN TEAM HEAVY!

You want to review fics?
You just okay with reviewing fics but want to see this group move faster and have more community?

Then join Team Heavy, and help Rinnaul get shit done so we can open sooner and bigger next time.

Message me if interested, and we’ll see if you are Team Heavy material.

However, if Team Heavy’s acceptance of clop is not something you care to deal with, or if you are unable to handle their awesomeness or overwhelming masculinity, you may also contact these other, lesser, team leaders and join their stupid baby-man teams instead:

The countdown begins!

Team Heavy, GO GO GO!

5843969 Um, I will be asleep by that time and I really want to get a story of mine reviewed. Any chance you can put my request under claimed?

5843971
PM me the link. I'm just doing it this way cause I can't watch the folder at work.

5843975 https://www.fimfiction.net/story/352246/equestria-girls-in-disguise-the-gallows-of-chs

Thank you.

5843969
Thank Christ for boredom generosity!
Have my story because I hate love you. (Already added as of now)
My attempt at giving heart and a real sense of purpose to a well-known-but-oft-mocked OC.

This must be my lucky day.

5843969
I have taken you up on the offer.

As I patiently wait, I shall master the art of making sandviches

That hoovy's a spy boys!

5843969
Haha, I remember the madness that is x10. A shame that I always get shanked by that one spawncamping spy...

PS: I voted for Team Heavy, how many places does that boost me up by?

5844189
Actually I voted Pyro during that event. The team name came about from me being a hoovy and that first screen cap.

Hokay, when I said "no submission rules", I didn't mean I'd be ignoring the group's rules.

We still only review stories added by the author. If someone other than the author adds a story, I'm gonna remove it. If you want an exception, contact me and we'll see if the situation merits one.

I added "EGID: Gallows of CHS" at the request of the author. I assume Zodiac has reasons for adding "Big Tavi Lil Tavi" with admin powers, and I'll ask him why before I decide to review it.

For the record, I'd still prefer we keep a maximum of one story per author, but if there's still under 25 when I get up in the morning, I'll throw that limit out. We're two hours in and there are only 13 submissions.

Might as well have named this "Rinnaul vastly overestimates the group's activity and his own popularity."

5844218
Admittedly you still have hundreds of thousands of words to read, so it hasn't been a completely futile exercise

Ok did my part of being horrible person and had added my story... don't know how because I am pretty sure the time limit should have been closed but eh you can always throw away my submission, right?

The other news is more interesting but I don't have real experience as of yet. So what I am asking is what can I do to help the commune?

5844254
The time limit eventually became "Once I Hit 25 20 Entries", so you're still fine.

The ones I need to throw out are the ones where somebody added five stories at once.

Welp, it's been open 12 hours with only 24 items added, and technically, four of those broke the rules, but I don't particularly care since it was such a small opening.

12 hours is long enough, so I'm going to go ahead and close it. If you missed your chance and still want in, post here or PM me. I'd be willing to add another 5 or 6 stories.

5844534 C'mon! You know you want to read Tank: Leg Humper!

5844607
Update: "Tank: Leg Humper" added on grounds of personal challenge and poor decision-making.

5844676 It was voted "Canterlot's Royal Library's Most Over-looked Story of 2016" by the Council of Me!

Oh... I thought it was going to be like the last time with a thread giving the day and hour of the opening

5847089
On the bright side, we now have, like, five different folders. The other three will be opening when they get with the program.

5847089
I'll do that in the future. This was me getting really tired of waiting.