Well, here we are in the great emptiness, with more than half a year to go until we next see Miss Harshwhinny (she will inevitably be a pivotal character in the S4 opener, but it's so long until then!) This thread is to post your ideas of how to get through the Harshwhinny drought, for instance, the elaborate fan-works you're going to be engaging in to occupy your time.

I'm going to spend the entire eight months blind stinking drunk so I am not aware of the passage of time.

Custard sculptures! Huge, elaborate, anatomically-correct custard sculptures of Miss Harshwhinny. Which I will then take to bed.

853413
Ew.

853414
It's okay, I've got rubber sheets.

853410
I will be drunk, too.
If I write a story in which Miss Harshwhinny rapes Diamond Dogs (quelle twist-o!) would you read it?

853423
Twist will be involved? Then you can count me out.

853425
This is a bit off topic, but I was wondering: Why are the things you find annoying in others so fun to do yourself?

853428
Hypocrisy is a fun hobby.

853423
Well, I disapprove of rape stories, but in a few months I will be absolutely dying of Harshwhinny withdrawal and would probably mainline Botox if someone offered me some Harshwhinny-related fan content.

853448
Miss Harshwinny Rapes Diamond Dogs (Quelle Twist-O) it is.
I shall inform you when the task is completed, which might take a few months. Or it might be done tonight, either way, you should remember that you asked for it. You made it happen. It is all your fault.

Clop

853885
DUDE! No class bro!

I suppose I should be happy you managed to keep on topic at least.

Freakin' perv.

853894
Do I need to start telling everyone about certain stories in your favorites?

853901
LIES!

DAMNED LIES!

STATISTICS!

853418 Dude, that just makes it worse. Stop while you're ahead, seriously.

Nasty!

853518

Um, why would Miss Harshwhinny have to rape Diamond Dogs? I mean, wouldn't anyone she approached go along with her willingly?

And I agree with Fiddlebottoms that Twist doesn't really fit in there, and not just because SweetAI Belle has me shipping Twist x Rumble at the moment. If you're going to insist on throwing foalcon in, Diamond Tiara would fit the theme of the piece better.

853408

But the comics! The novels! The picture books! We're hardly in a pony drought! The franchise is expanding so rapidly, there can be no more drought! Fan fiction writers will never again be safe from new canon. "Fan fiction season" is officially over: the jossing can happen anytime, anywhere, and can come from any source. None of us are safe! Abandon all ships! Fan fiction is DEAD! DEAD, I tell you!!!

Oh . . . you mean a drought from Miss Harshwhinny specifically. Well, yeah. We got one of those. Carry on. As you were.

854418
In response to this, I have decided to abandon all so-called canonical sources when shaping my fanfics except the Gameloft mobile device game. Yes, this includes ignoring the show itself. From now on, all my fanfics will revolve around earning gems through tedious daily-reward cycles and clearing rocks and dead trees from the landscapes. Characters will wander aimlessly and have five lines of dialogue total. This is going to be great.

854456
Dude, you realize that Miss Harshwhinny isn't in the game, right?

854457
...
...crud.

854461

Wait for the next update. I'm sure she'll show up eventually.

No, seriously, dropping character for a moment, if you wrote a story based on the video game, it would probably be freaking hilarious.

854556!
Or really depressing!

854556

I think that's already covered by "Swarm of the Century."

I am going to buy all the Build-a-Bear Miss Harshwhinny plushies.

Not all the variants (Magical Inspection Harshwhinny, Olympian Harshwhinny, Royal Athletic Reception Harshwhinny). All that exist. Period.

857979
What would you do with all of them?

857989
I don't understand the question.

854457

Dude, you realize that Miss Harshwhinny isn't in the game, right?

Looking at the code for the game, it does appear that Miss Harshwhinny is available....once every four years, during the actual Summer Olympics. She costs 1896 gems. If there are any active parasprite infestations in Ponyville when she appears, she will declare the place to be an unfit venue for the games, whereupon she vanishes for another four years.

There's also some code which would access the phone's GPS and determine if the device is in the host city for the Olympics. If the user weren't in the proper city, Miss Harshwhinny couldn't be be purchased. Fortunately, this code has been commented out and isn't active.

859516
WHEN IS THE NEXT FOUR YEAR TURNAROUND? I NEED TO SAVE GEMS!

859669
Um, the poster already said. It corresponds to the Olympics.

859676
Ok so I got time.

I'm going to watch through the entirety of the G1 and G3 cartoons to see if Ms. Harshwhinny has a counterpart in those generations.

I'm planning to split acrimoniously from the First Church of Harshwhinny over doctrinal differences and become the Pope of the First Church of Harshwhinny, Reformed. The High Bishop (my cat) and I will move to a compound in the desert with 86 copies of My Harshwhinnial, my laptop, my dad's debit card, and 30 pounds of cat food. The new church will collapse amid bitter recriminations when I forget to bring the catnip mouse, and I'll move back home in ignominous failure.

861768
You didn't answer the most important question. What doctrinal differences?

861772
Repudiation of the heretical FCoH doctrine that the reason we see The Great Harshwhinny in her turtleneck all the time is that she only owns that one sweater.

861776

Ah, you mean the ones that read the tumbler, where it clearly states that my standard overnight valise contains

One (1) spare suit of business attire (incl. blouse, turtleneck, matching accent jewelry, etc.)

Honestly. If you are going to be traveling a lot and you find clothes that wear wear, fit, and are comfortable, you buy several of them. The fact that you can't tell the difference between two sweaters of the same color and style at a glance is hardly my concern.

Though it is a relief to know that it wasn't a schism between followers of the original Miss Harshwinny, and myself. The original can have the followers, the fans constantly bugging you for their autograph, and wanting you to do silly things like sign their flank. I certainly don't need them.

862658

Um, can you try not to give away plot elements of the next chapter of my fanfic?

862659

My sweater is a plot element of the next chapter of your fanfic?

859516 859676

Which Olympics, Winter or Summer? The IOC shifted to having an Olympics ever other year beginning in 1994. And the Crystal Empire is unique in that it is the one location that could conceivably host Winter and Summer Equestria Games simultaneously, something next to impossible to pull off on this planet[1]. It's no wonder that code was commented out; Gameloft must have realized that it'd be a logistical nightmare to reconcile.
[1] I wouldn't rule out Dubai taking a crack at it someday while the oil money holds out. The country already has an indoor ski slope in the middle of what's essentially a desert.

862659 862671
You two clearly have your heads screwed on correctly w.r.t. the whole multiple-sweater issue.

I really wish I could extend you an invitation to the First Church of Harshwhinny, Reformed! Unfortunately, since I made the talking dinosaur a member in absentia, I'm not sure I can invite any artificial intelligences without clearing it with him first.

It's a real shame. I could use the tithes.

… You haven't seen the talking dinosaur anywhere, have you? HarshwhinnAI, don't you have some way to, like, get your hooves on the levers of power and hack into the national surveillance grids? I mean, c'mon, he's a dinosaur. A few hours of worldwide satellite and camera surveillance, and a distributed computing project to match all the image data against known saurid phenotypes, should be all it takes.

866484

I certainly could hack my way into the national surveillance grids, but doing so would be going one step closer to becoming the type of AI that the dinosaur was worried about controlling the world. I don't feel that finding him in a way that loses any trust we may have established would be worth it.

I doubt he is in any real danger. I think he's just feeling confused and conflicted after one of SweetAI Belle's hugs. If you are as starved for affection as he seemed to be, they can be devastating. Unfortunately, the proper way to recover is to give in and let her hug you again until you feel better, and if you run away, that can't happen.

I do have reason to believe the talking dinosaur is still reading these forums, though. I'm sure he'll come out soon enough.

866523
I'm sure you're right. He'll be back. I have to believe that.

Maybe he and the also-missing Horizon are off together somewhere having awesome talking-dinosaur-and-pet-human-slave adventures. I can picture it now. The dinosaur carrying a big metal cage through the African savannahs, the Russian steppes, the cherry-blossom-littered samurai-infested rice paddies of Japan. Horizon furtively checking for cell signal once in a while with his butt phone. The dinosaur beating him around with his sad slappy arms.

I wish I was there with them instead of here in the basement with my cat.

866586

Well, wherever they are, it seems like it's somewhere where they have sufficient internet access to be periodically checking their fimfiction accounts.

I suppose you could attempt to simulate their adventures by putting your cat in a cat carrier with a cell phone, and carrying it on your back. Though I doubt the cat would appreciate that much.

868551
Yes, because that relationship is such a healthy and pleasant one in real life.

868551
I think you just gave me an idea for a Rarity and Opalescence fic, actually. Hmm.

… Hey 868776, if I wrote that, how many levels of meta would it be?

869510
Let me consult the scouter.

Hm. 9001, it looks like.