No really. I'm beginning to suspect that my description alone (or maybe the friggin tags) is earning me a dislike each time i post a new chapter in my fic.

I honestly wonder if said description in my fic is any good. The short description, and the long one.

Short: A story heavily inspired by ABC's LOST, that tells the story of a highschool Journalism Club who get stranded in Equestria when their airplane is mysteriously torn apart...

Long: During spring break, a high school journalism club (a group of twelve boys and girls, plus a little girl), who were on a vacation to Italy, is split in half when their airplane mysteriously crashes in Equestria.

With the aid of the of the residents of Equestria, this journalism club sets out on a journey to reunite and find a way home before it's too late, all while solving the mysteries of Equestria that even some ponies themselves may not know about...

A story that's inspired by ABC's LOST, and by watching MLP-FiM back to back for several days.

Rated [Teen] for Strong Language.

Any romance that's implied won't be happening till later on. MUCH later.

Formerly called "The Journey" due to it having a very similar title to other stories.
That, and due to Chapter 6's development, the new title will make a lot of sense.
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Guys, I need help. Is this description the kind to draw dislikes? =\

what may help is take out the part where you mention how many there are. let the first chapter mention that.

not really sure what else.

dont worry too much about dislikes happening. i get that on my stories and people not explaining why. just continue onward and push through

(Edit: Deleted my old comment because I was unhelpful.)

I'll be honest, it's nothing I'd read.

But here's a couple unnecessary things.

(a group of twelve boys and girls, plus a little girl),

Never use parentheses in a description. tell us this in the story, not the description.

Rated [Teen] for Strong Language.

Any romance that's implied won't be happening till later on. MUCH later.

Formerly called "The Journey" due to it having a very similar title to other stories.

That, and due to Chapter 6's development, the new title will make a lot of sense.

All of this is not needed. Let your story tell us all of this. We don't need to be spoon-fed.

I don't really see the description drawing too many dislikes. However, I do agree that your summary does need a little work.

For one, take out some of the parts unrelated to the plot. Mostly just the part about the romance, and the next about chapter six. These aren't necessary to the story, and just clutter up the summary and make it sound unprofessional. In the short summary, remove the fact that it is inspired by LOST. That isn't helping too much, I'd say. Leave it in the main summary though, it is some helpful information if the reader wants to know more about the story.

Other than that, a few tips about writing a summary. For one, there is a delicate balance to summarizing a story. You want to be vague, but not too vague. You want to reveal a few details about the story, but only enough to hook the reader. If you give away too much in the intro, then there isn't much left to draw people in. I'd recommend reading some summaries of professional stories similar to yours, if you can. Other than that, the only thing you can do is write a good story.

Good luck!
-RisingOne

Your long description could use some tweaking. For example, it sounds from that description that the club members were split in half, like physically. I of course know you mean that the club members get separated after the crash, but you might want to specify that. You may also want to consider being a bit more specific too. The short description says the plan was torn, the long description says it was a mysterious crash - save the mystery for the the chapters. Something attacks the plane, it's okay to tell the reader what did it because that may attract their attention to read your story.

Other than that, I wouldn't worry about the dislikes too much either. You might be getting them because the story is being based on LOST. That's not me trying to be rude, but I can see someone going, "Eww it's about LOST? Dislike!" because people are dumb like that

You can also consider taking an exert from the story and using it as the description if their is a passage or quote you exceptionally like.

659313

In my opinion, "The Candidates" is a much better title than the generic, "The Journey", so nice call there. As for your long description, I think the sentences are a little long and could be trimmed down some. You can save the setting, (during spring break) the intended destination, (Italy) plus the quantity of people for the story itself. Those details don't need to be in the description. The important part is that a plane full of journalism students crash lands in a mystery ridden Equestria. For example:

When their plane somehow breaks in half and crash lands in Equestria, a high school journalism club must put their investigative skills to the test and find their way home. But as they began to do so, they discover that the inexplicable plane crash might not be the only mystery in Equestria.

Hope that helps.

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thanks for the feedback, guys. I definitely needed it. I've been practically trying to figure out how the hell to even make this summary work. I've changed it around like a buncha times, but I could never be satisfied with it, and really, I was beginning to get discouraged because I kept drawing random dislikes.

But thanks guys, all the feedback you guys give helps alot. I'll take the suggestions and make a description that's a MILLION times better than what I got. >_>

Okay, maybe i'm being a little arrogant. But hey, I can say it's gonna be better. I hated how I wrote the description. So thanks, guys. Of course, I'm still open for more critics and suggestions. :p

659481

When their plane somehow breaks in half and crash lands in Equestria, a high school journalism club must put their investigative skills to the test and find their way home. But as they began to do so, they discover that the inexplicable plane crash might not be the only mystery in Equestria.

I know i shouldn't, but... I like this description WAY too much... >_>

659586

Man, this is all stolen intellectual property anyway. If you want to use it you can have it, don't even have to give me credit or anything.

659617

Dude, thanks. And really, I will give you credit for the description. It's only fair. >_>

659626

Eh, fine. But if you absolutely have to give me credit for thirty seconds of brainstorming, put it at the end of your story in the author's notes and leave the description squeaky clean.