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Death's Reset · 4:39am September 2nd

[I am fine and doing decently; the post below is a vent to express how things have been lately.]

I always feel like everything is going to reset somehow. That the clocks will wind back and all the happenings after childhood will reverse and, thus, not occur. It’ll just be the good stuff forever—or a chance to correct all that went wrong. It’s my way of dealing with the changes in my life. Of rationalizing the wrinkles in your parents and the ages of your grandparents.

I can’t help but think the world around me isn’t real. That it’s just this thing occurring in the present, something that you go along with—until it happens. The thing that causes for everything to happen. That makes life go the way you envisioned it both long ago and day by day. Some of us continue to live in the hopes of somehow making that better life happen. In doing the correct things, or improving in this way or that, that allows for our reality to then feel real.

But that’s not going to happen in a blink. You won’t wake up one day to suddenly find everything changed. The world around you is happenings. Nephews are getting older and close cousins are now worlds. You cannot hold out or deny your life because it doesn’t link up to the one inside your mind.

I like to think that, somehow, after death—you’re able to do it all again. That everything goes the way it’s supposed to. That you become what you desire and impress those you want to impress. That you do good work and can feel proud of that work. That you can go on to live a better life—to cultivate better relationships with those who matter and share wonderful adventures together. 

Thinking life can reset helps me deal with the middle of worsening things. 

Thinking there’s a reset after death makes taking your final breath less of a drag. 

Such a reset is a delusion. 

But some delusions bring comfort to the affected. 

I hope all is well. 
~ Yr. Pal B 

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Comments ( 6 )

.......this is something that my father would have loved to read, as this is something that is worth being written in a textbook.......but anyways, we'll be at your side.....

Whoever said death is the end is wrong. Whatever happens its not the end. Reincarnation or afterlife or purgatory... it has to be believe in some form or other. How many times have we relieved our lives over and over again is anyones guess. I think its best to enjoy what you can.

Life is one's greatest mysteries, Death even more so.
"Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides."
- Lao Tzu

Just nice to hear from you again, I do miss you being on here

I hope you'll be OK.

Reminds me of the short story The egg, where every human life is a reincarnation of the same being, one who is slowly becoming more. It's pleasant to think about. No matter how different we might be from each other, we are closer to one another than might be imagined.

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