So a horse walks into a bar... · 6:37am Dec 11th, 2012
...the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse, and cannot understand English. It is confused and somewhat frightened by its surroundings, so it canters out of the bar, knocking over some tables on its way out.
[/antijoke]
I'm just going to do some rambling here. So, last week I found it impossible to write just about anything. I'm not exactly sure why, but I had lost any desire to write. This was strange and confusing to me, as I'd never encountered such an experience. I've had writer's block before, where I want to write, but can't think of how to continue a story, and I've been stuck by laziness, but never has my muse so completely abandoned me.
I think it started when I went back and re-read Purpledom. After finishing it up, I realized something.
I hated it. With a passion.
If there were not so many people that had enjoyed it, I seriously would have deleted it right on the spot. The whole thing wasn't a wash, but the flaws were so glaring that I couldn't believe I actually wrote such a pile of crap. I hated the protagonist. He's a wish-washy IDIOT who cannot make up his stupid mind while the horrendously-OOC Twilight just goes to town on him. Granted, he likes it, but the way I wrote him you wouldn't really know. The second thing that bugged me, and this was more serious to me, was when I realized Purpledom has nothing to it. It is literally smut for smut's sake. Wrapped in a pretty box with a bow on top, but still smut. And I wanted it to be more. So much I wanted it to be more.
These last 9 months or so I've been writing, I've always been ambitious and expressive with my writing. Never have I written a story simply to tell a tale; I've written to develop something more, something to make the reader think. I tried to push myself, write in tenses/situations/POVs I've never written in before. And I surrounded myself with like-minded people. People who weren't satisfied with just "okay". Of course, those people could actually write. My hope was that enough of their awesomeness rubbed off onto me that I could get something down that wasn't cringe-worthy.
So I had a fight with myself, as it were. In Purpledom, I had this story with no intention of literary merit. In everything else, I at least tried to do something cool. Part of my writing conflicted with the rest of me... but I couldn't deny that part. It was still wholly me when I wrote it. I enjoyed writing Purpledom, even if I did fuck it up. Sure, I could make excuses. I could say Purpledom was the first smut I'd ever written. I could say it's still innovative clop-wise. I could say I pushed those two chapters out in two days. I could say I'm still a bad writer and it's okay that I made a mistake.
But that—that is not me.
I had to accept that, sometimes, it's okay to just write some silly, pointless shit. That I won't always be pushing to be the next William Faulkner. That I'm just some bloated little author in the tiny corner of the internet that is MLP clopfiction. And that it's okay to enjoy it.
So never fear, dear reader. I have not given up on any of my stories. Far from it. I took a week's vacation, as it were. Today I was just hit with some inspiration and have finally figured out how I want to write Purpledom. I've given up on the romance sub-plot I wanted. No more beating around the bush: Purpledom is going to be a dumping grounds for clop scenes; nothing more, nothing less. I won't cut out any of the back-and-forth between the protag and Twilight, but their story won't be going anywhere either. Chapter 3 will close up any doubts in the relationship and just set the story up for further rutting. My creative energies will be focused on Apples at Sunset and whatever other stories I'm writing on my main account. I do feel a little bad for those of you who wanted something more out of Purpledom... but as I've stated, I don't write for my audience. I write for me.
I can only hope you enjoy what I offer.
It's no problem at all, just keep writing what you enjoy.
Shame that, on giving up on making a plot-line for Purpledom, I honestly enjoy Twilight more than AJ. However, I suppose Twi's Plot line shall be getting much use regardless? fuck, can't find the cymbol for the rimshot.
Regardless, looking forward to whatever tickles your fancy next
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I think we found a new voice actor for Twilight in Season 4!
Nice to see a new blog from ya!
Regarding Purpledom, I think you've made a pretty sound decision. Going forward with what you're planning is exciting news. Smut for smut's sake is best when it's intended. Romance should usually be the first priority when it's being used, makes a story feel uncomfortably forced otherwise. Looking back on it, the writing did feel very.. all over the place. but it was enjoyable at the least. Looking forward to some shameless evenings!
Also good to hear a smidge about AaS!!! Can't wait to start reading new chapters of that....
It's almost interesting when you think about it. Writing smut, for smut's sake, isn't entirely bad, or it's god-awful, all depending on the perspective you take on the issue. From what I understand, you enjoy inlaying something in your stories to make the reader think; I LOVE doing that. It really gets a response from readers when you can pull it off nicely, and I hope that one day I can pull it off with little to no effort at all instead of spending literally DAYS planning out different things.
That being said, writing smut for smut's sake, from my point of view, isn't entirely a bad thing. It's experimenting. It's different. It's trying something new. Sure, you may feel different about it after writing it and then want to throw it away or burn it in holy fire, but the point is that you tried something new. When I started writing back in February, I had no idea I'd get to the level I am now. I never even had a smidgeon of hope when it came to writing descriptively, let alone full-blown stories that people enjoyed. It's important to branch out of your comfort zone and try something new; I think 4Chan taught me that lesson better than anyone else could have.
But I digress; a bit disappointed that you're not liking Purpledom (I personally enjoy reading it), but I'll keep tabs on you. After all... when it comes to AiE, you're here forever.
Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a good story. Longer clopfics tend to be well worth the read if you have the time. But sometimes, a guy just needs some straight to the point clop.
the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
horse "cause I'm a horse"
Its a shame you decided to cut the subplot you had going there. Yeah, Purpledom is just smut, but damn it it was interesting smut, and I honestly thought you were going somewhere towards the end there. It seems like you found you hated what was there.... and then decided to resign it to your view of it and write off what you had. Its a shame is all, if I had any say I'd say finish out what you were going for, but its your story. Overall I don't blame you, its better to write for yourself I'd guess. Just my 2 cents, I'll gladly keep following PD as you post it here, changes or not.
Definitely glad to hear that. I've been driven away from some authors that are actually pretty good simply because absolutely everything has to be exceptionally deep, or spiritual, or Im-doing-something-nobody-does-guise, or whatever the case may be. It's worse still when (desperately resisting the urge to name anyone) they get an absurdly swollen head because they think they're the most cutting-edge writer ever to have written fanfiction for a show about ponies.
Sometimes an author will write things that reflect reality in order to help themselves or the reader get past something, or understand it better by analogy. Sometimes they will write smut for smut's sake.
Likewise, sometimes readers will want to read things that will make them think, and other times they just want to read something to make them laugh or smile or--in this case I suppose--jerk off.
Not everything has to make the reader or the writer really think. And that's perfectly fine.