Just when I thought it was over

Just under 2 years ago I suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts but after a long and painful battle I overcame my suicidal tendencies.

I didn’t overcome my bout’s of depression but I’ve learned to live with them and go about my life despite the what is the point attitude I get.

But today after I had a loud argument with some people I knew I headed home and collapsed on my bed done with everything and dwelled on how much I sucked.

Until it hit me again the suicidal thoughts and I honestly considered it planning how and where I would do it until my 1 roommate came in and asked my to cook lunch since I had promised yesterday.

I said I wasn’t in the mood and asked them to leave. They did not and instead kept bugging me & I thing it was less about the food and more about them knowing something was wrong.

And kept bugging me not leaving my room making me hit myself and asking why are you hitting yourself until I got up and made lunch at 4:00 in the evening.

After making the food I felt better and wondered why I had been thinking like that and now I’m in okay shape realizing I’ll be fighting suicidal impulses the rest of my life. Because the fight is never over until you give in or you’ve beaten it back and lived the rest of you’re life.

If any of you are having a tough time or are scaring yourself with these thoughts go get someone who loves you tell them and never lose the fight.

Comments

[Pete100]

Yikes