Birthday in two days · 9:40pm Jan 7th, 2022
Parents: "So we decided that it's fine this year if you don't want presents on your birthday, we can always postpone that for six months and do it this summer."
Me: (planning on having a busy summer and hoping to do a traditional birthday this year, but realizing that the fact they're even proposing it means they don't have any presents:)
"Uh...Sure, okay, sounds great."
Parents: "But we still should do something nice, so let's go out to eat. Our treat."
Me: "Sure. That sounds great, actually."
(1.5 weeks later)
Parents: "So we're not actually going to go anywhere because we're in the midst of a pandemic. Let's do takeout instead."
Me: "I can guarantee that any place that isn't fast food here has shitty takeout that'll give you half the portions they offer in a restaurant and either deliver super late or fuck up the order and forget about 1-2 meals no matter how many hours you order in advance."
Parents: "This is so disappointing. We're so disappointed. We baked a cake and everything."
update: i offered to make them dinner, living next to a grocery story, having all day to cook and knowing how to prepare food in a way they'd all like. They refused.
I offered to have us share cake together on a zoom chat, they refused, because it wouldn't be fair to my sister who lives in philidelphia to see us eating cake.
They're literally going to take care of grocery shopping in my city, stop by, drop off a slice, and head home, and I guess I'm gonna eat that alone in an apartment with yet another lightbulb that guttered out and died from the faulty wiring.
In summary: I managed to disappoint my parents because takeout in my city sucks, none of the compromises i offered satisfied them, and as a result they're going to commemorate the occasion by guilt-tripping me. And also if I actually want a full-sized cake, I'm going to have to bake my own and share it with nobody.
What a wonderful 30th birthday this is going to be.
Happy 2022.
I'm sorry.
Your heart is clearly in the right place.
...and happy birthday, too.
So what you're saying is: we need to have a Discord party on Sunday with all your fans and friends.
You did your best to make them happy…on what is supposed to be a celebration for you!
You have a good soul, Pet. Don’t let other people get you flustered and try to have you think less of yourself. You’re great!
And if it’s any consolation, you’re appreciated by all of us.
Happy Birthday!🎂🎈
I send you hugs my dude. I'm also dealing with some turning thirty stuff so I feel ya :(
Happy birthday!
30th birthdays are a big deal here. Happy birthday.