If you like to make a call...

Welcome, you poor, pony sapped bastards, if you like to make a call to visit Equestria please press one,

If you're calling because you would like to get the shit beat out of you by a rampaging Greed form of Spike the dragon, press two,

If you're calling because Angel Bunny is drunk and swearing at your face in his rodent language press three,

If you're calling to know Inferno demon Dash's Gamer Tag for Xbox 360 press four,

If you're calling because you know for a fact that Derpy Hooves is the best pony in all of Equestria, press five,

If you're calling because Luna, Goddess and Princess of the Night, Moon, Dreams, and co-ruler of Equestria itself has robbed you of your sleep by dancing on your dining room table at three in the moring, press six,

If you're calling because you just been sucker punched by Lyra or Octavia for calling either mare fat, press seven,

If you're calling because Discord, King Sombra, Trixie, Nightmare Moon, Gilda, the Changling Queen or any other villian minus the Flim and Flam brothers have just burned down your house and stole your car, press eight,

If you're calling because Celestia, Goddess and Princess of the Sun and Ruler of Equestria herself has had it with all the mortal ponies and creatues of Equestria and is hurling the sun towards the world, press nine,

If you're calling because you had just been forced into a party with Pinkie Pie and ate so much sweets you can't move or remember your own name, press ten.

*Beep* You have pressed four, you now are able to contect and kick the ass of Inferno demon Dash or as his Gamer Tag is called, Ni9htmare demon on Xbox 360, good luck on beating the shit out of him online and have a great day.

*Beep* You have pressed three, we recommand you call Fluttershy and have her politly ask the bastard rabbit to leave, if he does not and slaps his owner in the face, grab your shotgun and go hunting for rabbits.

*Beep* You have pressed five......ALL HAIL DERPY HOOVES MOTHERBUCKERS!!!!

Yeah, yeah I know, very random shit for me to do but I thought it would be fun and it's for anyone like me who's lonely on Xbox, does not have many friends on it and wants to battle, talk about ponies or snipe some mother buckers hahahahahah.....hope you all enjoy, if you do want to be my friend and chat on Xbox then just send an invite to me and I'll accpet even if I may not know you...I need pony friends.

Also if you wish to know what the other calls would say, then ask me and I'll tell you ha!

Comments

[Inferno demon Dash]

If this is funny enough I may just do a funny little one shot, I don't know

[Brony2893]

*Rubs chin thoughtfully*dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
*slowly reaches out to number pad*dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl2.png
"Nah, that's a dumb idea..."
*pulls back and thinks some more*dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cheerilee.png
"Ah ha! I got it!"dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png
*mashed all the numbers with fist*dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
"Now I sit and watch the universe explode"dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png

[Westphalian_Musketeer]

troll.me/images2/grammar-correction-guy/-youre.jpg

[Inferno demon Dash]

589989 Your comment made me laugh so hard brother I fell off my chair Ah, now THAT was funny...tank you for a great night bro.

[Inferno demon Dash]

589993 My bad Will fix in a second

[ReaperofSouls42]

...........I don't......OK! I got this!....I will dial.....*holds down all the buttons and waits to see what happens*

[Brony2893]

589996
*quietly sips tea*
Anytime brodl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png

[Inferno demon Dash]

590010>>590012 You bastards, I knew you would do that...one second.

*Beep* You have pressed one, the Princesses were so shocked by your call from another world that they sent the NPF (Natonial Pegasus Airforce) on your ass, you are now royally bucked, have a nice day.

*Beep* You have pressed two, if you some how survived fighting a very large and dangrous form of Spike himself, great job, though it means that he is bound to go after other things of intrest in your world, we recommand you grab a chair, a beer and watch the world end.

*Beep* You have pressed six, you can now either call her older sister to force her to leave meaning that you'll have the wrath of a Goddess to worry after for the rest of your life or you could grab another table, crank up the music and party like its the 1980's.

*Beep* You have pressed seven, if your male we recommand you sheild your nuts because your going to feel that blow in the morning, if your female chances are you'll be pissed as buck and want to fight the mare....chances also are your fight will go on Youtube with Earth and be told through all of Equestria for years to come because shit is about to go down.

*Beep* You have pressed eight, we recommand that you have to be the dumbest mammal ever created to allow a villian to burn down your house and jack your car, Earth is not Equestria, try to remember that next time and avoid giving the keys of your home or vechice to any evil looking creature, humans included. Although if the Flim and Flam brothers have commited the crime we recommand you find a very good lawyer, your about to be sued mother bucker!

*Beep* You have pressed nine, we recommand that you do the very last thing you wished to do in the span of ten seconds and maybe even say your prayers to which ever god you wish for you are completely and utterly royally bucked.

*Beep* You have pressed ten, we recommand that you learn that partying with the Element of Laughter is not a great idea and is very dangrous to be around if she has hard cidar.....or any sharp objects, we also recommand you now call the Royal Guards if she makes any advances on you in your sugary form....good luck and have a nice day.

Hope you liked them, they may not be great but they should cause a chuckle if anything

And as an added bonus........*Beep* You have just pressed on all buttons on the number pad please wait while the universe re-writes your entire gentic code, have a good life you dumb ass mother bucker....and please hang up after the tone.

[Brony2893]

590082
*Reading...*
*Reading...*
*Reading...*
*Reading...*
*blinks*
*Reading...*
*Reading...*
*Reading...*
*blinks*
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbB1sHOgZmSSJKMjAxMi8xMC8xNC8wNV81NF8yNV80MDdfMTIyMTA4X19VTk9QVF9fc2FmZV9waW5raWVfcGllX2Rlc2t0b3BfcG9uaWVzBjoGRVRbCDoGcDoPcmVzaXplX2dpZkkiDDI1MHgyNTAGOwZU/122108__safe_pinkie-pie_animated_sprite_desktop-ponies_pixel-art_laughing.gif

[Inferno demon Dash]

590099 Had a feeling you would enjoy it bro

[ReaperofSouls42]

590082 Hahaha that was pretty funny. you should turn this into a comedy fic.

[Brony2893]

590104
That's what she said.
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbB1sHOgZmSSIoMjAxMi8wNy8wNi8wOF8wMV8yOV80ODRfMzM4OTJfX3NhZmUGOgZFVFsIOgZwOgp0aHVtYkkiDDI1MHgyNTAGOwZU/33892__safe_princess-celestia_trollestia_artist-eisenrot.png

[Inferno demon Dash]

590111 Hmmmm....maybe, just maybe glad you enjoyed it though brother.

[Inferno demon Dash]

590120 I heard that

[ReaperofSouls42]

590121 Oh yes. I enjoyed it quite well~

[Brony2893]

590141
cdn.derpiboo.ru/thumbs/1200/500/2012/08/20/12_48_08_214_78498__UNOPT__safe_twilight_sparkle_sleeping_caption

[Inferno demon Dash]

590149 Awesome

590165 Ummm......scream and cry in a corner, telling the pretty pony to go away.....OR, or, or.....Have Spike the dragon and her best friend confess his feelings of love towards her and for once have a happy ending in my life and for the two lovers.....I like the second better though the first seems like it would be more fun.

[ReaperofSouls42]

590250>>590165 Uh I have to say I personally wouldn't pick either of those choices of Inferno demon Dash if you know what I mean.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Celestia.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Derpy_dealwithit.png

[Brony2893]

590250
My reaction: Consensual intercourse in the missionary position for the sake of procreation "Who the buck let you inside? Get back under your porch now!"

Aw who am I kidding... It'd be more like this...
1. Audible crashing sound as jaw hits floor
2. Question sanity
3. Do something to see if it's a dream
4. Realize it's real... squeal like a 5 year old girldl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png
5. See if she can teach me magicdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
6. Cuddle up to her in my bed. (Only do things if she suggests it.) dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_gaze.png
7. Life is now complete. I can die a happy man

[Inferno demon Dash]

590257 I hear you, though I'm not one for HIE but to each their own brother, no judgement here Though I do think the first choice is what a normal person would do in real life

[ReaperofSouls42]

590270 Lol thats true I could easily see people going off the deep end after that. Lol

[Inferno demon Dash]

590267 Same as the first, no judgement here brother

[Inferno demon Dash]

590272 True that And I would be there to video tape it

[Brony2893]

590273
Let's be honest... we all know we'd want to do it just once to at least say we did/know what it's like.
Besides, the smart ones are amazing in beddl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png

[ReaperofSouls42]

590274 Lol that would be hilarious.

590277 I thought it was the quiet ones that were amazing in bed?

[Brony2893]

590280
Either-or. It's a win situation no matter how you look at itdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_bedroomeyes.png

[ReaperofSouls42]

590283 I have to agree with you there....or the athlete...or the country girl....or the fashion Deva.....or the party animal.......

[Inferno demon Dash]

590277 Hmmmmmm....you make a very valid point though I be thinking it be best to try it with Fluttershy, Twilight is Spike's bitch 590280 Tell me about it, I have no doubt it would get 10,000 hits in under an hour

[Inferno demon Dash]

590285 I'll take the party animal or country girl for 500

[ReaperofSouls42]

590286 Oh yeah man. that would be on Tosh.0 and every other show that features videos from the internet.

[ReaperofSouls42]

590288 Ha! So if i just took the "Derpy" one off somewhere.....

[Brony2893]

590285
Either way... you can't losedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png

590286
Eh, I"m not a fan of TwiSpikedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png

[ReaperofSouls42]

590298 Yes, I agree with your brain...it interests me.

[Brony2893]

590300
You should check out the blog I just made, it might make you laugh

[Inferno demon Dash]

590290 Good point and also *chops hands off with a butter knife* HANDS OFF MY DERPY!!!!

590298 To each their own is all I have to say, I'm not a fan of a few things and I got going to a DJ Pon-3 concert with Twilight Sparkle That would be funny as hell to see

[ReaperofSouls42]

590304 I shall indeed do so.

[Brony2893]

590316
Lol nice one.
I like how I always make my b-day something awesome when I do these things

[Inferno demon Dash]

590319 True that and what was yours? And it's your birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER!!!

[Brony2893]

590322
My b-day is March 28th
Quite a ways away
Which is good... I don't want to be 20!
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/Why-large.gif?1319224787

[ReaperofSouls42]

590316 O.O Jesus!!! $@$@$@ My $@$@!% Hand!! *finds glue* *kicks* then hands off my country girl!//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy_invert.png

[Inferno demon Dash]

590326 Oh.........fail Epic fail. And what's wrong with being twenty, I'll be twenty one next June.

590330 Take her, she a bit to rough to deal with anyway How hard is a horses hoof anyway?

[Brony2893]

590336
I'm tired of getting old... I feel like I'm freaking 25 already

[ReaperofSouls42]

590336 Well from what I've seen. there pretty delicate, I mean Rarity poked her hoof with a needle and got hurt. So I'd say just like the bottom of our feet?

[InkFathom]

590165
Sleep on the floor and stay up late thinking about hanging out with her tomorrow!
... What a great fanfiction idea.

[CanterlotGuardian]

so... you basically made a MLP parody of the Ludacris/Disturbing Tha Peace "teabag hotline" clip?
...
I approve.

[Inferno demon Dash]

590338 I hear you brother

590340 Huh.....good point, but maybe that was just for the kids, I mean I though they were strong enough to break bones if one ran at full speed.....confusing but I think I know what your saying

590745 That does sound like a great iea, not one for HIE but to each their own, oh well, best of luck hope610309 Buck yeah I did, he is my favorite rapper, and thanks brother

[CanterlotGuardian]

610545
I'm surprised nopony made the connection before me

[Inferno demon Dash]

610552 True that, did the calls and numbers make you chuckle if anything?

[CanterlotGuardian]

610610
they most definitely did... probably more than they should have, but that's because I was reading them all in Luda's voice

[Inferno demon Dash]

610613 I never bucking noticed that before