Random Thoughts: Melancholy · 1:49am Sep 7th, 2021
*Disclaimer, this post has nothing to do with my fanfics. Just needed somewhere to vent my thoughts.
You know what the most annoying emotion to deal with is? Melancholy.
Sorrow lets you have a good, cathartic cry.
Anger lets you vent through loud, fast music.
Fear goes away once you're done with whatever was making you scared.
But melancholy...
...
For context, I was watching an anime. It's been a mostly happy and upbeat ride most of the time. Challenges, to be sure, but always a sense that they could - and thus would - be overcome. But the last two episodes were different. The situation the main character is in isn't bad, per se, but there's a definite dissatisfaction and sorrow about it. But that's okay, right? Because there's always a solution, right?
Not this time.
This time, there's literally nothing the MC can do. The supernatural phenomenon that started his story has struck in a different way. He doesn't know who or what to appeal to to set things right, and no-one around him even realizes what's been lost. Th latest episode ends with him begging forgiveness from someone who only understands a small part of his sorrow. Life goes on, and his life specifically isn't bad. But knowing everything that's been lost, and knowing that he has no-one with whom to share it...
As I said, melancholy.
What do you turn to to get rid of melancholy? It isn't like anger or sorrow or fear. Those emotions evoke passion in one form or another, and passion can be put into action. But melancholy just hangs there, a noticeable weight and presence. It isn't intense, so you don't feel a pressing need to get rid of it. But it weighs you down enough that you don't particularly feel like mustering the effort to invest in another emotion, either. It just sits there with you - or maybe on your lap - and tells you "This is fine. Just stay here with me. Everyone else - the other emotions - are so much work. And it really isn't too bad here with me, is it?"
I don't want anyone worrying about me. I'm not prone to depression or anything like that. I'm just very susceptible to good storytelling. My emotions will normalize completely after a good night's sleep. If there were more than just a few hours left in the day, I'd be able to muster the energy to get myself worked up about something. It's just...
There's not much time left tonight. And this feeling isn't really that bad.
Don't worry, everyone; he'll be fine by morning. The next sub-arc of Student 32 is almost done, so you'll have something exciting to read from this drama king soon. See ya.
Shit, it's sad men.
Well, as long as you are still healthy and happy, it will be ok.
I look forward to the next arc, i missed your story.
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Lol, I'd honestly forgotten all about this post. Next arc has maybe one scene left, and the rest is with my editor now. Should be out soon-ish depending on how much editing I need to do.