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"[FoME] manages the impossible combination of being an actual legitimate nerd while staying unabashedly pleasant." —Aragón

More Blog Posts1103

  • Sunday
    Contest! Imposing Sovereigns III: SOUL of Equestria

    I haven’t exactly kept careful track of my Fimficaversary. But this is the tenth. As of today, I’ve been on this site for a solid decade. If that’s not worthy of something special, I don’t know what is. And if you’ve looked at the blog title, you can probably guess what.

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    27 comments · 482 views
  • Sunday
    Friendship is Card Games: My Little Pony: A New Generation

    A bit under two years after we saw the sun set on Equestria (and putting aside the fever dream of an interlude,) it is finally time to see how the golden age of Twilight tarnished into a long, dark night of Equestria’s soul… and the rise of a new Sunny era. Let’s begin.

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    24 comments · 322 views
  • 1 week
    Myriad Constructs

    hawthornbunny, ever-capable archivist of my creations, the Mako-voiced chronicler to my Conan the Barbarian, has informed me that with today's card blog, I have wrought 10,006 pony cards.

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    14 comments · 292 views
  • 1 week
    Friendship is Card Games: Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell

    So, to overwhelmingly greater demand than I expected (i.e. any,) I am delving into the official Friendship is Magic novels. There are a staggeringly high number of them, along with journals, mysteries, handbooks (hoofbooks?) and more. I have a newfound respect for G. M. Berrow in terms of her sheer output. In any case, let’s see what the very first one has to offer.

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    16 comments · 267 views
  • 2 weeks
    Friendship is Card Games: d20 Pony, Ch. 1

    This one’s a bit unusual. It comes as a request from SirNotAppearingInThisFic (and yes, I do plan on doing the official chapter books, including one next week.) I didn’t really know what I was getting into when he suggested, but having taken a look, this does work.

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    5 comments · 230 views

Friendship is Card Games and Witchcraft: Silver Spoon Escapes from Camp Energy · 11:35am July 25th

This one is… interesting. And unexpected. I had no idea this existed until Polychromatic sent me a rundown of all of the material, but here we are. Let’s see what this entails.

Part 1: Blue Blood Pressure

Ah. The first video’s description explains a lot. This was during a dark time for pony video production; Hasbro was really cracking down on the copyright claims. (Oh, for the innocent days of 2011, when you could find entire episodes on YouTube…) As such, this is a Freeman’s MInd-style narrated Let’s Play of Limbo, one of the foremost entries in the “scared, helpless child runs to the right” genre.

Ah yes, Silver’s unrequited crush for Diamond Tiara. Alas. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if they were married post-timeskip,

“A nap is like sleeping, but fun-size.”
That is quality FiW dialogue there.

“Whoa. Being in a coma must be, like, Halloween at Willy Wonka’s or something.”
See above.

And apparently Silver was asleep in her mom’s car. I have a number of questions and concerns. Not least her need to check for taste.

Ah, context. Silver’s expecting to be at Princess Camp, whatever that would entail. I suspect Twilight got kicked out of it.

“Mom? Dad? Are you guys pretending to be raptured without me again?”
I know we’re dealing with Friendship is Witchcraft here, but that’s still messed up.

Yeah, immediately killing another living thing is usually reserved for the summer camps for twelve-year-old girls at minimum.

Silver Spoon spending her dying breath on playing mind games with her killer actually sounds quite in character.

“I guess when I’m lost in thought, my mind goes on autopilot. But, like, Top Gun autopilot.”
As good a justification for the Limbo protagonist’s feats in this context as any.

The issue with human hair isn’t tensile strength, but keeping it from tearing it out of the follicles. The real miracle with Rapunzel lies under the skin.
I swear this makes sense in context.

“They say you should never get on a boat without a life vest or a talking fish.”
Words of wisdom. I think.

I had lived a happy life before having to entertain Mr. Tumnus and “love dungeon” in the same thought. I would like that life back.
Also, Silver explicitly said she’s nine, which makes that bit even worse.

“I haven’t actually read the Narnia books, but I’ve read enough fan fiction to deduce that that’s something that can happen.”
Oh, that explains it.

And here we have our title. Given all the physical activity, Silver is convinced her parents secretly dropped her off at Camp Energy, a weight-loss camp. And given the generally messed-up nature of this world, she may not be wrong, even given what happens in Limbo.

Legitimately brilliant work with capturing Silver’s tantrum in the game just by having the playable character jump around with a color filter.

Wow. This is a stages-of-grief speedrun right here.

And closing resolution and determination. On to the next part.

Part 2: Bariatrix Are For Kids
(Note: Arachnophobes may not want to watch these going forward.)

Ah. Gastric bypass and similar methods to forcibly reduce caloric intake are collectively known as bariatric surgery. Suitable for the intended purpose of Camp Energy.

I do have to agree that a piñata filled with tofu is a disgusting thought.

Darn it, Silver Spoon, the comics already did rock lobsters.

“But it wasn’t a rock, it was a rock! It was a rock!”
Okay, that was brilliant comedic timing there.

The sheer indignation at having her life threatened is delightful. As is the refusal to both burn calories and look like an idiot.

Ah, the açai. Silver has a point; who’d expect that to be three syllables?

Once again, autopilot takes over while Silver contemplates President Blueberry.

“That is a paradigm shift in stupid.”
I’m going to have to remember that one.

And there’s the giant spider. As stated above, this is not arachnophobe-friendly.

“Is pro wrestling real?”
I mean, when you nearly get impaled by a living violation of the square-cube law, it’s a fair question.

Part 3: Don’t Bite The Leg That Feeds

“I probably already missed the workshop on how to transition to a musical number.”
Immediately transitions to a musical number.

Oh, we’re going full music video. Complete with Uotapo art.

“You’re trapped in some limbo.”
Roll credits!

One of the rare cases where possibly hallucinatory voices from beyond are legitimately helpful. And one of them’s David Bowie! Patronage from the archfey always ends well.

“Democratically elected king of Earth” is one of those phrases I can’t help but smile at.

A self-resetting bear trap defeats the entire purpose of a bear trap.

“You’re the worst kind of solitaire, you know that?”
Words can hurt, Silver.

“Man, nothing puts you in a good mood like defeating a giant spider.”
I’ll take her word for it.

Silver’s definitely taking her imminent demise well. Aside from ending up in a different afterlife than Diamond Tiara.

Part 4: Webisode

Fortunately, Silver’s effectively stuck in the spider’s snack drawer.

“It’s a good thing my special talent is wiggling.”
Very nice callback.

Again, I’m really not sure if this is part of Camp Energy or not. I could easily see it in this world, but the level of self-delusion needed to think legitimate mortal peril is part of fat camp also works for the setting.

“If a burrito was alive, this is how it would move.”
A truly disquieting notion. Though it depends on the burrito. If it were open-ended, I’d think it would move more like a caterpillar.

Silver does raise a good point: this whole sequence in the game requires an external, third-person perspective to work. That or the spider conveniently didn’t wrap the player character’s eyes.

“This why you don’t have long hair! Oh, this is why you don’t go full Rapunzel!”
Again, very good callback.

And a brilliant use of the signature FiW “wah-wah-wah.”

“I’ve been J. Walter Weathermanned!”
Had to look that one up. I really do need to watch Arrested Development.

Yeah, pity the platformer character’s ankles.

And, alas, Silver never did wake up from that nap. Or she woke up in Part 1 with no memory of her efforts here and is trapped in an eternal cycle. Suffice to say, that’s all there is. Still very enjoyable stuff. Now, let’s see what I can justify with this inspiration:

Princess’s Companion 1W
Creature — Mouse
At the beginning of your end step, if you’re the monarch, create a 1/1 white Mouse creature token.
Every aspiring leader needs some subjects to practice on.

Hopping Mummy 2W
Creature — Zombie
Hopping Mummy doesn’t untap during your untap step.
Rare flaws in the mummification process are treated as unique training opportunities for initiates.

Motion without Thought 4W
Surge 2W (You may cast this spell for its surge cost if you or a teammate cast another spell this turn.)
Creatures you control get +2/+1 until end of turn. Untap them.
As enlightenment approaches, mind and body leave each other to their own duties.

Archfey’s Favor U
Enchantment — Class
(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
When Archfey’s Favor enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 blue Faerie Dragon creature token with flying.
2U: Level 2
Whenever you attack, target creature with power less than or equal to Archfey’s Favor’s level can’t be blocked this turn.
3UU: Level 3
You, Archfey’s Favor, and creatures you control have ward 3.

Voices from Beyond 1U
Draw a card for each player who owns a card in exile.
Cycling U (U, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
Sometimes the ineffable whispers from beyond known reality have legitimately good advice.

Homarid Gripclaw 2U
Creature — Homarid Warrior
2U: Tap target creature.
“Despite their tremendous strength, the gripclaws only acted to restrain, allowing raiders to steal supplies and victims to gather more.”
Sarpadian Empires, Vol. V

Stellar Drift 3U
Whenever you draw a card, exile up to one target creature. Return that creature to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step.
Thoughts often turn to the stars. Bodies sometimes follow.

Careful Analysis 3UU
Put all cards in your hand on the bottom of your library in a random order, then draw five cards.
Anyone willing to use all their senses has something to learn.

Ballad of Resignation 1B
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on Ballad of Resignation.
1B, Sacrifice Ballad of Resignation: Each player sacrifices X creatures and/or planeswalkers, where X is the number of verse counters on Ballad of Resignation.

Everfree Trapper 1B
Creature — Pony Warrior
2B, T: Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
“No, it isn’t nice. But what I catch doesn’t know the meaning of the word.”

Gallows Ghoul 1B
Creature — Zombie
When Gallows Ghoul dies, put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
When the dangling bodies aren’t enough of a warning for thieves, they may take a more proactive approach.

Desperate Runaway 2B
Creature — Human Child
Desperate Runaway can’t block.
The human body can endure a truly incredible amount of hardship. The human mind less so.

Shredded Silk 2B
Target player sacrifices an Aura and a non-Aura enchantment.
A long tumble through grasping undergrowth and swamp water will leave anything worse for the wear.

Chocogeist 3B
Creature — Spirit
When Chocogeist dies, create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
Whenever you gain life, you may pay 1B. If you do, return Chocogeist from your graveyard to your hand.
Wonka’s crimes are just another flavor.

Branchsnap Trap 4B
Instant — Trap
If an opponent had a green creature enter the battlefield under their control this turn, you may pay 1B rather than pay this spell’s mana cost.
Target creature gets -5/-5 until end of turn.
One misstep is all it takes.

Curse of Starvation 3BBB
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
At the beginning of enchanted player’s upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature that player controls.
“When that baloth fits in a size zero, you’ll thank me.”

Alluring Satyr 2R
Creature — Satyr
When Alluring Satyr enters the battlefield, if you control a creature with power 4 or greater, untap target creature. Gain control of that creature until end of turn. It gains haste until end of turn.

Thing from the Wilds 2RR
Creature — Beast
Whenever Thing from the Wilds attacks, attacking non-Human creatures gain your choice of menace or trample until end of turn.
The deepest Wilds hold horrors and wonders undreamt of by man.

Rockroll Trap 6RR
Instant — Trap
If an opponent created a token this turn, you may pay 3R rather than pay this spell’s mana cost.
Rockroll Trap deals 5 damage divided as you choose among any number of targets.
Simple, but effective.

Drain Prey 1G
Exile target card from a graveyard. Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn. That creature gets +5/+5 until end of turn instead if you control a creature with reach.
“The natural world offers lessons to any who look.”
—Lisette, Witherbloom dean

Steelclaw Bear 2G
Creature — Bear
Steelclaw Bear enters the battlefield with two -1/-1 counters on it.
2G, Remove a -1/-1 counter from Steelclaw Bear: It fights target creature you don’t control.
Don’t laugh at the bear who falls for the same trap twice. Worry about what it will do now that you’re out of traps.

Rusted Tiara 4
Artifact — Equipment
When Rusted Tiara enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
Equipped creature gets +3/+3 and doesn’t untap during your untap step unless you’re the monarch.
Equip 2
A corroded crown for a fragile reign.

Tangletress Healer GW
Creature — Human Noble Shaman
Reach, lifelink
Endowed at birth with incredible vital energies, she couldn’t bear to be trapped in her tower when she could help her people personally.

Mocking Laughter 1WB
Creatures target player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn. Put a +1/+1 counter on each of up to two target creatures.
Listen carefully and you can hear your self-esteem erode.

Pheres-Band Pankratiast 2RG
Creature — Centaur Warrior
Whenever Pheres-Band Pankratiast attacks, you may have it fight target creature defending player controls.
Whenever Pheres-Band Pankratiast is dealt damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
The greatest champions don’t bother with the Akroan Games.

Spearleg Spider 3BG
Creature — Spider
Mutate 4(bg)(bg) (If you cast this spell for its mutate cost, put it over or under target non-Human creature you own. They mutate into the creature on top plus all abilities from under it.)
Whenever this creature mutates, destroy target nonland permanent you don’t control.

Urban Arbor
Urban Arbor enters the battlefield tapped unless you control an Elf.
T: Add G.
2GG, T: Create a 1/1 green Elf Warrior creature token.
Elvish city limits are defined by the range of their bows.

Comments ( 8 )

The link to episode 3 sends to episode 2 instead, you might want to fix that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmv1oCmbux4 is the right one. You'll probably eventually want to change the links to something else also, unless YouTube changed its mind (or Sherclop was warned and opted out of privating).

I had no idea this existed until Polychromatic sent me a rundown of all of the material

I'm glad my 'resident FiW nerd' status was of use for once. It is certainly a bit of a shame this was abandoned, but at least what we got out of it is rather enjoyable. And a really neat idea I haven't really seen replicated elsewhere. I do have a friend who does a surprisingly good RDP Dash impression, I wonder if we could spin something up there.

Not much left on the FiW train, if I'm right. HAWTW is certainly nice, but probably not big enough to fill a whole blog, and aside from that there's the Scootertrix crossover and not much else. It's certainly an addition to the series worth looking at for completion's sake, but I wonder if you shouldn't look at the other series in question too. I haven't yet, actually, I should get around to it.

Unfortunately the link for episode 4 also goes to episode 2 instead.

Y'know, I swear I must have seen this back when it came out and then completely forgot it ever existed. I love it.

Also it's making me want to play Limbo again.

5559830 5559850
Apologies for the link issues. Should be cleared up now.

And I do have a few more bits of FiW material in addition to How Applejack Won the War. I can squeeze twenty cards out of the dregs. (And it's a good thing there isn't much; that one's scheduled for Everfree Northwest.)

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Vigilance won't let Hopping Mummy block if it's been tapped by card effects; similar to various Illusions, its ability means that effects intended to temporarily disable will be permanent instead.

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: You don't need to have any other cards in hand to cast Careful Analysis, and you probably shouldn't. I'd say it was intended for aggro, but 5 mana is more than those decks ever want.

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: There's no penalty for being unable to meet the sacrifice quota for Ballad of Resignation, and you'll be glad for that if you cast it because you aren't spared.

Inside Baseball Alert: A reminder that Willy Wonka had a lot of eccentricities as a chocolatier but intending to murder randomly selected children isn't one of them. ("Reminder" because I mentioned this the last time he came up)

Inside Baseball Alert: I'm pretty sure that Rapunzel having magical healing powers is a Disney invention, but it's a reasonable extrapolation of having such absurdly long hair.

Such a shame they didn't continue with that, because it was warped in all the best ways possible.

You let us down with the flavor for the Rockroll Trap. Have you given (us) up?
More seriously, does Thing from the Wilds make you choose one ability and apply it to all attacking non-Human creatures, or does it let you choose on a per-creature basis? I'm guessing it's the former, but I'm not certain.

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Single trigger, single choice. That said, grab two and have it both ways.

And now they're gone. I know they were archived somewhere, but we'd need to go looking around for that.

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