Friendship is Card Games: Pony Life, Season 2, Week 3 · 12:14pm Jun 6th, 2021
This week, we return to the land of superdeformed shenanigans, where bubbles from beyond have been wreaking bedlam. Let’s see what there is to see.
Time After Time Capsule
Okay, that is an unfairly cute title card. Though the Mane Six growing up together raises yet more questions about this world… assuming it’s meant to be at all diegetic.
Seeing the cast sitting bored in Sugarcube Corner almost seems like a protest from the writers. Let them leave the bakery! There’s only so much we can do there!
Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t want to eat anything that glows in the dark.
Ah yes, call back to the docupops (That’s donut-cupcake lollipops, not popular documentaries.)
So, Applejack experiences a ballistic party in her mouth, Dash actually goes ballistic, Fluttershy’s size oscillates… and the horned members of the cast are just excited. Bit of a letdown in comparison.
I do have to wonder if anypony actually pays for food at Sugarcube Corner.
“I just wish I could freeze this time forever.”
Bit of a dangerous wish there, especially with Rainbow “Time Dilation” Dash in the room.
Remember when a pony making a duckface in a selfie was itself a joke in its sheer absurdity and contrast with the setting and situation, to the degree that only Pinkie could get away with it? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
… Oh goodness, I hadn’t even noticed Fluttershy until I looked for the screencap in Derpibooru.
Okay, a smartphone with built-in printer is pretty impressive, if logistically complicated.
Pinkie with a beard always makes me smile. Though either she’s very optimistic about that cupcake’s lifespan, or she’s using way too many preservatives. At least she didn’t start baking when told to prepare her item for the time capsule.
Ooh. We very rarely see Dash’s house in Pony Life. Not the first time, but the looser artistic style works well for a cloud structure.
Utility isn’t generally what one looks for in time capsule fodder. Indeed, it’s generally not a good idea. If you really need it, you’re tempted to dig it up early.
Awfully convenient how the perfect items glow like the contents of Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase.
I see I spoke too soon about Pinkie not baking. Though I do appreciate her snatching Gummy’s lightbulb to get an idea.
We’ve seen Fluttershy’s cottage only slightly more often than Dash’s place. I do appreciate how the surroundings feel a bit swampier. It fits this Fluttershy’s… darker tendencies.
Also, that is a ludicrous quantity of Finn Tastic merchandise. Especially the Jaws poster. Extra-especially the not-quite-a-body pillow with lipstick marks.
Good to see the Potion Ocean is still a thing, even if we’ve heard little from Potion Nova.
Hmm. We’re actually getting some backstory for these instances of the Mane Six. And apparently Applejack met all of the rest at roughly the same time. Something she remembers fondly, with no sign of jealousy-maddened alicorns.
I can’t fault Pinkie’s idea. You do need something to put it all in.
Dash conveniently not mentioning how the girls competed against one another at the Sportacular Spectacular.
“All of us added together equals friendship!”
I mean, she’s not wrong. Put together, they’re literally greater than the sum of their parts. 
Ah yes, Rarity’s brief stint in a soap opera. She’s definitely never letting that one go.
Yeah, you can tell this is a G. M. Berrow episode. Even in Pony Life, she can’t resist those callbacks.
Very convenient self-burying chest.
Ah. A little too convenient. Can’t say I was expecting this to end in a rift in time and space, but it’s definitely got me more engaged than most Pony Life episodes.
The Great Cowgirl Hat Robbery
Ah. So back in the day, the seas were orange. Well then.
Sugar Street in what town, AJ? Also, I’m kind of disappointed that getting sent back to old Equestria didn’t involve a visual gag with FiM Flash puppets, but that kind of metahumor isn’t the usual sort one gets in Pony Life.
Huh. On the one hand, nice to see Granny Smith at least get a mention. I don’t think we’ve actually seen her in Pony Life. On the other, it’s weird to think of Applejack fantasizing about being a cowpony. Does this Sweet Apple Acres not have livestock? Moreover, are cows sapient in this timeline?
Applejack’s used to wearing a hat. Why did Rarity try to tip one?
“Are you pickin’ what I’m growin’?” is a wonderful Appleism.
This has some eerie parallels with the third volume of the MLP manga. Find the artifact to return to your timeline. Though Rarity coming along with Applejack raises some questions.
I can only assume the random bystander took one look at Rarity and assumed the two of them were a wandering comedy troupe.
Southernisms so convoluted even Applejack can’t process them… Not sure if that’s insulting to her character or just demonstrating that idolizing a time period is a long way from understanding it.
Ooh, very OSP. “Hey, filly, you like proving yourself?”
“Do I!”
“I juggle apples in my sleep! Literally! I have issues.”
At least he acknowledges it.
If I had a nickel for every time Applejack had a hat-based existential crisis in Pony Life, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
A Pinkie Pie recolor with a mustache. Hmm.
Hold on, that looks like the pavilion where they watched the Cotton Candy Comet. So this is still Ponyville? Which apparently qualifies as the Wild West? I suppose that would explain how Granny Smith knows stories of the time period (putting aside the question of how long she’s lived) but I’m a little disappointed.
Huh. I was half-right. The answer was a performance.
I can’t say I get it, but at least it worked. Still feels bizarre when comparing this Applejack to the rodeo champion whose family is still founding Western frontier towns. (Hmm. Don’t think I’ve seen anyone tackle post-timeskip Appleoosa. I may have to explore that idea myself.)
Planet of the Apps
If this doesn’t involve a half-buried Statue of Harmony, I’ll be sorely disappointed.
And speaking of post-timeskip towns, we’ve got far-future Ponyville. And the water appears to be purple.
Huh. Uneven group distribution. Most unexpected… assuming that really is Fluttershy.
Just “commencing”? Really need a better UX on these roboponies.
After AJ failing to cowpony, it’s nice to see a familiar character beat, even if it is Dash’s knee-jerk suspicion.
Ah. Pardon me, mecha-ponies. And whoever programmed the Pulverizer to introduce himself like that should be slapped.
Sugarcube Corner, Sugar Street, and now Sucrose Quadrant. I’m detecting a theme.
“Deception is not in our ponygramming.”
Puns apparently are.
… Wait, how did the mecha-ponies get there before Dash? Eh, they’ve demonstrated super speed before. Or they’re body-hopping. No one said the programs had to confined to one chassis apiece.
And yeah, the ominous was hovering over a familiar outcropping. No surprise that the Corner did a little rebranding in the intervening time.
QT-∏. Of course. I’m not even remotely surprised there. The Ponk is eternal.
The most impressive part of that VR headset is that it resizes to match Fluttershy.
Why is chubby Twilight a recurring thing in this spinoff? Also, I really hope those computer chip cookies don’t have much in the way of actual semiconductors.
There’s something to be said for the direct approach. Especially when dealing with such rational beings.
That “You’ll be back!” is more than a little menacing. The oblique Terminator reference underscores how we didn’t see any other organic ponies in that future. Something happened, and it’s not clear what…
Back to the Present
Huh. I guess a mixing bowl doesn’t have any clear time period associated with it, so Pinkie just ended up swirling about time for a bit. (The script, medal, and photo all have strong ties to the present, so at least the Mane Six won’t have too much trouble getting back.)
So… where did they get the kayak paddle, the book, or the living squirrel? (Don’t worry, Flutterhy doesn’t surf on the squirrel.) I have a limit on what I can accept from hammerspace, especially in the void between moments.
Oh. Oh. Looks like Discord’s left his mark on this timeline.
Pinkie’s wind-up alarm is apparently tied to the atomic clock if she trusts it that much.
Salad Bowl Junction? This is indeed a disturbing universe.
Huh. There is a warped Statue of Liberty. I was joking.
Ah, I see the Raffi 7 came out. We’ve come a long way from the prototype.
This just raises further questions.
And then we get to the surreal tiger-unicorn hybrid. Clearly Discord’s been having even more fun with combinatoric biomancy. Honestly, the most bothersome thing here is a tiger selling salad. It’s like they got a guest writer who tries to keep their cat on a vegan diet.
And a bat and a peacock. That guest writer with the vegan cat brought all of their OCs. (Also, Sugar Snap. the peacock, never speaks. It is not currently clear if the designers acknowledged the sexual dimorphism of peafowl on this one. Though if you go by one theory, Sugar wouldn’t be Pony Life’s first trans character. And, again, unicorn hybrid. No telling if the same rules apply.)
I’m sure there have been many times when ponies wished Pinkie had a fast-forward button.
At the very least, Lightning Chill has muffins in her fridge. And yes, these ponies could use a few more greens in their diet.
We are reaching levels of photorealistic sight gags I haven’t seen since “Pinkie Pride,” and I do not know how to feel about that.
Oh dear, I don’t think Pinkie got to take the mixing bowl with her.
Oh no, the horned mutants followed them home. I’m all for interactions between different realities, but these character designs feel like a marketing team trying to make new Lisa Frank characters.
Still, all told, a fascinating and unexpected jaunt through time and possibility. I do appreciate the past/future/alternate present approach. Very Time Spiral Block. Still, you'd think they'd, you know, do something about the dangerous orb-made artifacts. Let’s see what I can make of it all.
Old Yarnspinner 2W
Creature — Pony Citizen
Whenever an opponent casts a spell from anywhere other their hand, draw a card.
“Hats falling out of the sky, ponies from the future, draconequi moving in. Wasn’t like this in my day.”
2/3
Atlas Sentinel 3W
Artifact Creature — Pony Drone
Vigilance
Atlas Sentinel can block any number of creatures.
When Atlas Sentinel dies, put a vigilance counter on target artifact creature you control.
Everypony likes a good sensor module.
2/4
Destined Duo 4WW
Sorcery
Choose one or both —
• Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
• Return target Equipment card from your graveyard to the battlefield. You may attach it to a creature you control.
Mechapony Queen 4WW
Artifact Creature — Pegasus Noble
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a +1/+1 counter on each other artifact creature you control.
Whenever an artifact creature you control dies, distribute its counters among artifact creatures you control.
3/4
Sunshell Crab 1U
Creature — Crab
As long as you control a Plains, Sunshell Crab has lifelink and vigilance.
Many wonder why the crabs develop such beautiful. glittering shells. None consider that the crabs themselves like them.
1/3
Blizzardile 3U
Snow Creature — Crocodile
When Blizzardile enters the battlefield, tap each creature your opponents control with toughness X or less, where X is the amount of S spent to cast this spell. (S is mana from a snow source.)
Some polar vortices begin as death rolls.
3/3
Calculated Tedium 3UU
Sorcery
Tap all creatures target player controls. Those creatures don’t untap during that player’s next untap step. Create a 0/0 green and blue Fractal creature token, then put a +1/+1 counter on it for each of those creatures.
Aetherbreach Dolphin 4U
Creature — Whale
Flash
When Aetherbreach Dolphin enters the battlefield, choose a permanent type. Each player returns a permanent they control of the chosen type to its owner’s hand.
3/2
Historical Recreation 5U
Artifact
You may have Historical Recreation enter the battlefield as a copy of any permanent card in a graveyard.
Pinkie has planned a dozen different ways to keep ponies entertained after her death.
Dark Mode 2B
Sorcery
Creatures you control gain menace until end of turn.
Metalcraft — If you control three or more artifacts, whenever a creature blocks this turn, its controller loses 1 life.
Mechaponies can be unsettling at first. And, in some cases, at last.
Pull from Memory XXB
Instant
Exile X target nonland cards from a single opponent’s graveyard. You may cast those cards as long as they remain exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any type to cast those spells.
Hat Rustler 1R
Creature — Pony Warrior
When Hat Rustler enters the battlefield, attach up to one target Equipment to target creature. (Control of the Equipment doesn’t change.)
Few crimes were more reviled in frontier towns.
2/2
Through the Vortex 3R
Sorcery
You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield with a time counter on it. That creature gains haste and vanishing. (At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
Mechapony Pulverizer 4R
Artifact Creature — Pony Drone
Trample
When Mechapony Pulverizer dies, put a trample counter on target artifact creature you control.
A good hug stays with you. As does a good compactor servo.
4/4
Cloudweaver 1G
Creature — Spider
Reach, protection from Pegasi
Cloud houses created a whole new ecosystem to exploit for those species quick and clever enough to adapt to it.
1/3
Squirrel Horde 3GG
Creature — Squirrel
Squirrel Horde gets +1/+1 for each other Squirrel you control.
Suspend X—X2G. X can’t be 0.
Whenever a time counter is removed from Squirrel Horde while it’s exiled, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
2/2
Sugar Street Settler 4G
Creature — Pony Citizen
When Sugar Street Settler enters the battlefield, search your library for a land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.
Suspend 2 — 1G (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay 1G and exile it with two time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, cast it without paying its mana cost. It has haste.)
2/2
Devotee’s Hoard 2
Artifact
As Devotee’s Hoard enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Whenever a creature of the chosen type enters the battlefield under your control, put a devotion counter on Devotee’s Hoard.
T, Remove a devotion counter from Devotee’s Hoard: Draw a card.
T: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell of the chosen type.
Group Selfie 2
Artifact
As Group Selfie enters the battlefield, note the colors of permanents you control.
T: Add one mana of a color noted for Group Selfie.
A photograph is a thin, preserved slice of time, unable to grow or die.
The Statue of Dissonance 5
Legendary Artifact
Indestructible
At the beginning of each upkeep, you may have The Statue of Dissonance become an X/X Chimera Golem artifact creature until end of turn, where X is the total life lost by all players last turn.
Made from copper and conflict.
Frostbolt Felicorn 1WU
Creature — Elemental Cat Unicorn
Mutate (wu)(wu) (If you cast this spell for its mutate cost, put it over or under target non-Human creature you own. They mutate into the creature on top plus all abilities from under it.)
Vigilance
Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, tap that creature. It doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step.
2/3
Apple Juggler 1RG
Creature — Pony Druid
Boast — Q: Add RG. Until end of turn, you don’t lose this mana as steps and phases end. (Activate only if this creature attacked this turn and only once each turn. Q is the untap symbol.)
“I do this in my sleep! Can’t stop, actually.”
3/2
Echoing Chiropticorn 2WB
Creature — Bat Unicorn
Mutate 2(wb)(wb)
Flying
Whenever this creature mutates, exile up to one target creature card from your graveyard, then create a token that’s a copy of that card.
2/2
Extravagant Cornifowl 3GW
Creature — Bird Unicorn
Mutate 2(gw)(gw)
Flying
Whenever this creature mutates, proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
3/3
Bananaphonics 4GU
Sorcery
Draw a card for each creature target player controls.
Chaotic 2GU (You may cast this spell for its chaotic cost. If you do, choose its target at random.)
For spreading fresh gossip and rotten accusations.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: The Statue of Dissonance's animation is optional because being indestructible won't save it from having a toughness of 0. You know, because it's entirely possible for no player to have lost life in a turn.
So they basically broke space-time with nostalgia? Normally, I'd question that, but since it's PL, I'm just going to accept it and move on.
I don't know whether to hate, to love, or to "enh" Pony Life, but I got to admire its dedication to the bizarre.
Modular but with keyword counters is actually neat design space.
5530811
Ooh...
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: There are counters that are bad, and Mechapony Queen's trigger is not optional. Enough -1/-1 counters and... well, you'll eventually have to use them to kill the Queen herself, so might as well do that immediately.