• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2014
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CrackedInkWell


"Inspiration does not come to the lazy. It only comes to those who call it." - P. I. Tchaikovsky

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    Dear Bronies and Pegasisters,

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    0 comments · 199 views
Mar
19th
2021

Recipe for Getting Divorced · 3:29am Mar 19th, 2021

The following is something that I have written in the story "Discord Teaches Philosophy: on Love," from the double chapters "When to Leave." The subject has to do with divorce and how they occur. I would like to hear your thoughts on this in terms of both fictional and reality (if you are comfortable in talking about it).


Recipe for Getting Divorced

Ingredients:

⁃ Two individuals with challenging childhoods that are stuffed with an unreliable, reckless, or scary family who never try to think about, understand or digest what they’ve gone through.

⁃ Both be strongly romantic in nature, looking for “the one” (an angel in an earthly form) in hopes that they would understand and heal the broken bits of them. The kind that they would dismiss healthy emotional creatures who they declare to be boring.

⁃ Both need to be self-righteous that’s been marinated in the belief they are perfect in every way to the point where criticism is seen as an attack on them.

⁃ Have high expectations of each other and the relationship that their partner can and will do everything.

⁃ A lack of communication skills, believing that the love is secretly a mind-reader.


Step 1:

Combine psychologically damaged individuals together, careful not to be tainted by self-examination of their past, nor come near a marriage therapist.

Step 2:

Spend a lot of money on a huge wedding, heavily seasoned with planning from setting arrangements to the color of flowers. Have the most extravagant honeymoon, make it as perfect of a day as both can muster. Save half a cup and reside it for later.

Step 3:

Have the couple be around each other for at minimum two years. During this time as they stir up tension, make sure that neither of them calmly talk about what’s annoying them, and instead develop habits such as drinking or chopping wood - anything really to avoid that discussion. Keep stirring until they believe that their unhappiness is abnormal, and life for others is problem-free. Then fold in on their demands and keen on identifying their spouses’ wrongdoings, but never let them identify their own. Keep folding until they become experts of the other’s flaws. Never let them take responsibility nor change when they are pointed out.

Step 4:

Once this is mixed up, return the memory of the happiest day of their lives back into the mix. Let it sink in how far the relationship has fallen. Let them compare their everyday experience with ideal representations in the media of “happy couples.” Sprinkle in any opportunity to point out that their spouse is aging while blaming them for “not taking enough care of themselves.” They may want to identify more attractive folks in the street that they might be happier with - point them out to their spouse. Let them compare their fading sex life to the most unrealistic scenarios in porn.

Step 5:

Over high heat, have children. Feel free to pick apart the more disappointing characteristics from them, and attribute everything to the faults of the other spouse - and their family. Stir to a simmer until they can pick out the more irritating quirks of the other around the kitchen table and bathroom. Let the relationship be a reminder of the burden it has on your career.

Step 6 (Optional):

For additional flavor, have one or both take out their anger, disappointment, and soul-crushing loneliness out into an affair. Add liberty and stir.

Step 7:

Taking off the heat, let the couple cool by arguing zealously that this divorce thing is an accident, that it means nothing, and the children won’t mind. (Note: Never talk to children about the subject, nor console them that they had nothing to do with this decision.) Get divorced. Remarry, season it with tears. Ready to serve.

Step 8:

Repeat again from step 1.

Comments ( 1 )

Will use all this on my next gf

Thanks

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