Friendship is Card Games and Witchcraft: Lunar Slander · 12:13pm Mar 14th, 2021
Happy Pi Day! Very little Pinkie content today, sadly, but I've got a massive content rotation on the horizon, with IDW comics, the EOL manga, and even Season 2 of Pony Life. (Hey, I’ll take what I can get.) But for now, it's one more week of Sherclop.
And we open with a C&D joke… for apples. Ah, abridged series metahumor.
That opening still hits me right in the nostalgia, even with FiW!Celestia’s narration.
The biggest creatures do tend to rule in this world. Troubleshoes is no doubt on a watchlist.
One could argue that I should be spelling the local sun alicorn Solestia, but I’m not going to, because reasons. 
Oh goodness. Speaking of nostalgia, I’d forgotten all about the horrors of Gaia Online avatars and their shameless use of other IPs for cosmetics.
Also, Twilight is directly responsible for Molestia’s roughly five-and-a-half week banishment to Space Camp. This doesn’t surprise me in the least.
And the memes begin, complete with Simple Plan. And Molestia’s eyes never opening with the dramatic Nightmare Moon reveal really drive home how she was an innocent trampled under Twilight’s ambition. She won’t be the last, either…
“Molest Fest.” Hoo boy. Not touching that one. Also, if Equestria has a festival specifically for Princess Molestia, that kind of undercuts her angst over her unpopularity. Of course, such negative feelings rarely respect little things like logic, and that’s before considering the possibility that Celestia implemented the holiday only after Molestia returned from Space Camp.
The Gala beard raises other questions, which are simultaneously more and less worrisome. Though Twilight’s Gala dress being a Star Swirl robe with a bare midriff and Ugg boots is firmly in the “more worrisome” column.
Handing out her fanfic to foals. Does Twilight have no shame?
No. No she does not. I think that’s been firmly established at this point. And Discordially Yours raises a number of questions about the chaos noodle in this worldline.
I have to appreciate the eye candy aversion with Pipsqueak Newt Pippington Britishhooves.
Also, he’s a pinto Dickensian cyclops. They’ve got more (string of horribly offensive language) than they’ve got the likes of him.
“Pinkie Pie, didn’t you already have a childhood?”
“… No.”
Honestly, this fits in canon. For all that her family supports Pinkie’s life choices nowadays, a rock farm is no place for a born extrovert to grow up.
Oh hey, they were able to fit the whole welcome on the banner this time.
I can’t take Twilight seriously when she pluralizes anime as “animes.” Also for many, many other reasons, but that isn’t helping.
Background Ponyvillians saying what they’re doing continues to amuse me more than it should.
Very nice touch with the edited-in Rarity in her invisibility scarf. That’s why she never shows up in “Luna Eclipsed”!
If Granny Smith’s skin is peeling off, those retcon portals may be going full Pet Sematary. 
I am not sure how to process Twilight calling Rainbow Dash “Mare-Do-Well.” Though apparently the costumed thunderbucker is a separate entity from Dash. I have several concerns.
And now we get to the Dole-compliant censorship, with both the bobbing-for-(KIWI) tank and (RASPBERRY)jack’s cutie mark blurred out for legal reasons.
I am not comfortable with how (LIME)jack said “wheelbarrow” there.
I do love the implication that Mayor Mare isn’t actually wearing a costume. This is just how she dresses normally.
“Zecora the whimsical rhyming zebra.”
Well, when you put it like that, the character concept sounds uncomfortable on a number of levels.
Ah. It’s a festival specifically devoted to avoiding interaction with Molestia because of her sheer social awkwardness. No wonder she doesn’t get much out of it.
And Pip continues the trend of children being the voices of reason and maturity in this world.
“She brought her OCs!”
That… works better than it should, especially considering theories that say Luna created the bat ponies, whether through actual transformation or illusions.
“Get in the sleeping position!”
That really says it all. Feign sleep and hope the awkward moon horse passes you by.
Seriously, what even is that accent?
You know, people have said that Celestia should’ve let Luna know the details about Nightmare Night, and cultural shifts in general. Here, the issues are even more glaring. For goodness sake, Celestia, she’s your sister. Give her a few social pointers.
Yeah, between Molestia narrating her own actions and her offers to show her deviantArt gallery, it’s clear that she and Twilight are kindred spirits.
Molestia sings in Comic Sans, while Twilight’s lyrics are in Papyrus. Well. Turns out Sherclop’s prophetic abilities extend beyond pony. (I know, they were both meme typefaces before Undertale, but still.)
I suspect that the only reason that no one’s claimed Molestia’s crown before is that they couldn’t withstand the awkwardness of being around her for that long.
“When Fluttershy isn’t teaching animals to read, she’s tempting the Devil with her dulcet tones. And she’s yellow!”
There are times when I’m really not sure what more I can add to a line. This is one of them.
Ah. Add the magic police to the robot and fashion divisions.
Adding eldritch tentacles to the door slam really takes it to a new level of comedy.
Basic hygiene does help with sex appeal. As does throwing spiders, given the right audience.
The chain censorship is a thing of beauty.
“Oh God, she tipped over the bowl! The spiders are escaping!”
They were always alive in this world. They had just been contained until now. Much like dragons.
I have to appreciate the one pony who’s taking advantage of the chaos to wreck public property. There’s always That Guy…
… Yeah, even in the canon episode, Luna not hieing off to Canterlot is a bit of a headscratcher. Though I can see why she’d brood over the statue commemorating the worst decision of her life.
And Molestia literally spilled her spaghetti. Wow.
“I carry my skulls around like everyone else.”
Somehow, this carries more weight than it should.
And candy police as well. This world gets more crapsaccharine by the minute.
The “(Adjective) but fun” chain didn’t make me laugh… but it did make me smile.
Huh. Usually ghouls are a form of material undead. Extraplanar ectoplasmic entities sound more like ghosts.
“The most touching Molest Fest yet.” Eurgh.
Twilight has claimed a crown of her own. A bit ahead of schedule there. This definitely will not end well.
And the postcredits scene, with the Cake twins as Pinkie’s revived parents… though this does raise the question of why she had a pair of cribs in her house. And whether those cribs had been there yesterday. We’re at seven of nine, and I doubt Jeri Ryan will have a guest appearance.
Now, let’s see if these cards are worthy of either Princess of the Night:
Limits of Power 2W
Enchantment
When Limits of Power enters the battlefield, each player chooses a legendary nonland permanent they control and sacrifices the rest.
Whenever a player casts a legendary spell, that player sacrifices all legendary nonland permanents they control.
Circle of Pappardelle 3W
Enchantment
When Circle of Pappardelle enters the battlefield or at the beginning of your upkeep, create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
Sacrifice a Food: The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.
Brief Sentence XW
Enchantment
Vanishing X plus 1 (This enchantment enters the battlefield with X plus one time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
When Brief Sentence enters the battlefield, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls until Brief Sentence leaves the battlefield.
Afterlife Infiltrator 2U
Creature — Human Rogue
1U: Until end of turn, Afterlife Infiltrator becomes a Spirit in addition to its other types and gains shadow. (It can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
Between life and death lie the treasures of both.
3/1
Unseen Fashionista 2U
Creature — Unicorn Artificer Rogue
Hexproof
Unseen Fashionista’s power is equal to the number of artifacts and/or enchantments you control.
“My outfit speaks for me, and it says ‘No.’”
*/2
Ectoplasmic Ghoul 1B
Creature — Zombie
Shadow
Whenever Ectoplasmic Ghoul deals combat damage to a player, exile up to two target cards from that player’s graveyard.
Not even death can free those trapped between worlds.
2/1
Official Jester 2B
Creature — Pony Advisor
Other creatures you control get -1/-1.
2: Target opponent gains control of Official Jester. Activate this ability only during your turn.
“All politicians are clowns. Some of us are just more up front about it.”
3/3
Oneiric Courser 2B
Creature — Bat Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Whenever Oneiric Courser deals combat damage to a player, choose a nonland card name, then that player reveals their hand and discards a card with that name.
None ever dream of harming Equestria.
2/2
“Princess of the Night” 2B
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Princess of the Night”.
B, Sacrifice “Princess of the Night”: Target player loses X life and you gain X life, where X is the number of verse counters on “Princess of the Night”. If you gained life this way, you become the monarch.
Apple Family Shambler 3B
Creature — Pony Zombie
(bg)(bg)(bg): Return Apple Family Shambler from your graveyard to your hand.
Apples are too stubborn to let a little thing like total cardiac arrest keep them down for long.
3/2
Queen of the Night 4BB
Creature — Vampire Noble
Alicorn (This card is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying, lifelink
Whenever Queen of the Night deals combat damage to a player, return target Pony, Pegasus, or Unicorn creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield with a lifelink counter on it. It’s a Vampire in addition to its other types.
5/5
Avatar of the Silver Moon 5BB
Creature — Avatar
Menace
When Avatar of the Silver Moon enters the battlefield, target opponent sacrifices a creature, enchantment, or planeswalker.
When Avatar of the Silver Moon dies, you may exile it. When you do, you may cast target Eldrazi card from your graveyard without paying its mana cost.
6/5
Opportunistic Rioter 1R
Creature — Pony Berserker
When Opportunistic Rioter enters the battlefield, if you’ve discarded a card this turn, draw a card.
Madness 2R (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard.)
2/1
Thunderbuck 2R
Instant
Thunderbuck deals 3 damage to any target. If W was spent to cast this spell, create a 1/1 white Pegasus creature token with flying.
Some pranksters can’t resist seeing the look on their victims’ faces.
One-Eyed Lookout 3R
Creature — Cyclops Pirate
Play with the top card of your library revealed.
“Land ho!”
“That’s the deck, Urgdar.”
4/3
Dance Party 2G
Instant
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn. You gain life equal to the number of Songs you control plus the number of Song cards in your graveyard.
For ponies, the urge to get funky is as fundamental as eating and breathing.
Zebrat Talespinner 4G
Creature — Zebra Shaman
When Zebrat Talespinner enters the battlefield, create a 1/2 green Spider creature token with reach for each card in your hand.
“All stories belong to Spider, but he lets us borrow them for a time.”
2/2
Kingdom Key 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has “3: This creature can’t be blocked this turn.”
Equip 2
Halvar’s blade is far from the only one that can open new paths between worlds.
Welcome Banner 3
Artifact
As Welcome Banner enters the battlefield, choose a color.
Whenever a creature of the chosen color enters the battlefield under your control, you may pay one mana of that color. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
T: Add one mana of the chosen color.
Tendrils from Beyond 9
Creature — Eldrazi Tentacle
Emerge 6BB (You may cast this spell by sacrificing a creature and paying the emerge cost reduced by that creature's converted mana cost.)
When you cast this spell, target opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is the number of cards that player owns in exile.
5/7
Recoil in Fear WB
Instant
Each creature blocking or blocked by target creature gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
Everypony flinched back from Molestia, whether because of her power, her personality, or her lack of hygiene.
Reverse-Blade Kenshin 1RW
Legendary Creature — Pony Samurai
First strike, trample
Bushido 2 (Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn.)
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt by Reverse-Blade Kenshin.
2: Damage that would be dealt by Kenshin this turn can’t be prevented.
3/3
Rejuvenating Revival 2(wb)
Sorcery
Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It has base power and toughness 1/1.
Pinkie’s magic returned her parents to her, but with the roles reversed.
Silverquill Doggerist 2WB
Creature — Unicorn Rogue
When Silverquill Doggerist enters the battlefield, each player draws a card.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, that player loses 1 life.
“Everypony’s a critic.”
3/3
Skull Hoarder 2BR
Creature — Dragon
Whenever another creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Skull Hoarder.
When Skull Hoarder dies, create a Treasure token for each +1/+1 counter on it. (A Treasure token is an artifact with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”)
2/2
Sire of Phobias 3WBG
Creature — Nightmare Spider
Vigilance, menace, reach
When Sire of Phobias enters the battlefield, exile all creatures with flying your opponents control until Sire of Phobias leaves the battlefield.
Luna’s mercy does not extend to Equestria’s enemies.
4/6
Cease 3W//Desist 1U
Instant//Instant
Cease: Destroy target attacking or blocking creature.
Desist: You and permanents you control gain hexproof until end of turn.
I'd completely forgotten about the C&D joke.
I think her name would be Sulestia, actually. But yes, we'll just keep going with Celestia and Luna.
Oh look, payoff for what was set up in episode 3. That's nice. You shouldn't be surprised that Twilight is responsible considering she admitted she was back then.
Phrasing?
♪ "Eye of a Newt and cinnamon"
It's never outright confirmed, but it's strongly implied both here and in the next episode that it was his eye that Pinkie used. Whether she ripped it out or just took it after it was removed for other reasons is up for debate.
I think what's happening with Granny Smith is more the result of her already being too old to be alive properly when she died, the portal seemed to work fine on everyone else brought back.
Sherclop talked about the accent at one point, it was apparently based on a video they once found but I can't remember exactly what they said about it (I think it might have been Bulgarian, but I might be wrong). The panel should still probably be online somewhere.
The series never really addresses why Pinkie's parents are brought back as foals. I headcanon it as being a consequence of them having been dead the longest out of everyone the portal brings back.
I, for one, am looking forward to seeing you tackle Pony Life again. But I'm looking forward to the rest of FiW as well. Especially given what the next episodes are.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: No, being forced to sacrifice the legendary creature that let you cast a legendary sorcery won't stop the spell's actual effects. The specific card I linked is the most hilarious abuse of this fact, as it will not only return the aforementioned enabler but also circumvent Limits of Power by bringing back the rest without technically casting any of them.
Inside Baseball Alert: Avatar of the Silver Moon is on the wrong plane to free Emrakul from her prison, but that's clearly what she's trying to do. Similarly dissonant, Tendrils From Beyond is using the keyword of Emrakul's second brood yet enabled by that of Ulamog's which she never really interacted with in-story. No bolding for either because having an ability that mechanically functions but is flavorfully incoherent is just the Eldrazi way.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Yes, Reverse-Blade Kenshin's combination of keywords means that chump-blocking him can cause you to take more damage than if you'd just let him through, provided of course that your opponent pays the toll to let him deal damage in the first place. Which they can do at instant speed, so don't get cocky unless they're tapped out (and potentially not even then).
Lots of excellent designs today. Keep up the good work, though you didn't need me to tell you that.
64.media.tumblr.com/181a7086b304dd7b9686ebcbbbed1077/tumblr_p8a8uf5bNS1rwwztbo1_1280.png
TALKING LOUD SHOULD DO THE TRICK.png by Serendipity-doo-da
Did anyone else place that Jekyll-Jekyll-Hyde song from Arthur?
Then you need to leave the festival.
No wonder Sherclop Pones had to remove the videos from their channel -- they flouted the C&D by still referring to the character as "Applejack" in the credits. Tsk tsk.
I somehow completely forgot that Luna was Molestia in this series.
Is that a reference to a certain artist on Opportunistic Rioter, or is it just a coincidence?