Tales from The Trash Bin #11. The Forgotten Hero Before All. · 12:38am Jan 16th, 2021
I completely forgot about this story. A few posts ago, I went looking for my old Iron Golem fic and, luckily, I found it. Then, I decided to browse my notes for other stories and I came upon this one. I remember that I was inspired by a pastebin story of Anon in Equestrian or something. I don’t remember the name but I remember Wuten did a reading of the incomplete story. I was really into second person at the time and I was just writing random junk that came to my head. This was before I had read any actual fanfictions on FimFic and I was pretty much eyeballing it to see what I liked. Looking back at it, I can see a lot of mistakes and pacing problems that feel glaringly obvious in hindsight.
As usual, if you somehow think this story is salvageable, then I’m glad to tell you that it’s up for adoption. If you want it, take it. If not, just enjoy, laugh at, or ignore one of my early attempts to make a story.
Also, thanks again for 200 Followers! You all motivate me to continue writing and I'm always happy to see you comment or just see the number of views rise just a bit higher. Thank you all.
Chapter 1. Mystery Mare. Mysterious as the Dark side of the moon.
You are the incredible and awe-inspiring mare of mystery, Mystery Mare. Nopony knows who you are or where you came from, and whenever somepony asks, you simply say "I am the mystery." Which is a bit truer than you'd care to admit.
You honestly have no idea who you are, where you're from, or what your talent is. You just woke up one day in this costume on the edge of the Everfree Forest and haven't really taken it off since then. But that doesn't sound as cool as "I am the mystery." So, you don't really tell anypony that part.
You know very little about yourself. You only know that you're a unicorn mare, you don't have a cutie mark, and for some reason you really don't like Luna. You don't know why, you just instinctively don't like her. Luna seems to share this sentiment, but she has an actual reason not to like you. During your first week of heroism after Tirek attacked, you called yourself Nightmare Moon which, wouldn't you guess, used to be Princess Luna's villain name. Needless to say, she was pretty pissed when she saw you in the dream realm. The look she gave you that fateful night could make Discord cower in fear. Of course, you handled it like a professional, and totally didn't hyperventilate in your cave that night, avoiding sleep whenever it drew near.
After that "incident" you laid low for a bit, deciding not to accidentally piss of the immortal and possible omniscient princess. Later, Princess Twilight and the rest of the Mane 6 found you in your Mystery Cavern and called you the "Mysterious Mare Do-Well". You liked that name a heck of a lot more than "Nightmare Moon." But decided to tweak it a bit, calling yourself Mystery Mare. Mainly because Twilight sold off the naming rights to Hascolts and you didn't want to deal with lawyers AND a pissed of moon princess.
And then you got your kickass catchphrase when they asked who you really were. All in all, the Mane 6 are pretty cool. Rainbow Dash doesn't seem to like you that much though. It's a shame really, after AJ she was probably the coolest pony in the group. And as for AJ, oh buck. The things you would do if she became your sidekick, or maybe even... your partner? Crime fighting wise of course! Strictly plutonic and professional. Yeah, she was nice looking, had a cute accent, a beautiful mane that smells like apples, and calfs that wouldn't quit~.... But that's beside the point! Or maybe that's the whole point seeing as how you decided to come to her haunted maze in Ponyville. Damn that mare and her tenacity. And her cooking. Celestia damnit could she make a good apple pie. Of course, it didn't help that your diet consisted of whatever you found in Zecora's trash. Nopony ever said being a vigilante paid your nonexistent bills.
It was Nightmare Night, and you just finished Applejack's awesome horror maze. You tried to keep up with the Mane six but ended up losing them somewhere in the maze. Afterwards you meandered over to DJ Pon3's Nightmare Night Bash and had a pretty good time. The party was alright, you saw a few "Mare do well" costumes in the crowd, some Daring Do's, and the occasional Princess Twilight costume. Apparently being a princess made Ponyville a hotspot for... dedicated supporters of the new princess. Hey, as long as they didn't bother you and kept their creepiness to themselves, you were perfectly content eating your apple pie. That all had to change of course, when she arrived... Princess Luna.
"Of course, Princess Luna would be here, this was a holiday about her and by extension, a party dedicated to her!" You thought to yourself. "Just relax, maybe she didn't notice you. And even if she did there were like ten other ponies dressed up as you, no way she'd notice you. Just eat your cake and--"
"Mare of Mystery?! What are thou doing here?!" Princess Luna questioned in an assertive tone, causing the party music grind to a complete halt.
"Celestia Damnit." You muttered to yourself.
Turning around slowly you pray to Celestia that she was talking to another pony dresse-- Nope she's right there in front of you, actually fuming with silent rage.
"Or would you prefer being called 'Nightmare Moon'." Princess Luna asks bitterly.
"Mystery Mare is fine. It's actually a much cooler name." Meh, you already walked into the cave, might as well poke the bear while you're at it.
Luna glares at you. You were many things, one of which was a mystery. Also a major pain in her flank but again, that's beside the point. Pinkie Pie, who you swear has an eighth sense for piping out of nowhere at any time, noticed the tension in the air and quickly teleported between the two of you.
"Princess Luna! It's great to see you, how have you been doing?" Pinkie blurted out with a smile stretched across her face.
"We have been busy as of late, dispelling any rumors of the return of a certain dark alicorn." She said, not averting her eyes from you.
Challenge accepted.
"Good rumors I hope. Like how a certain Mare saved a school of foals from a fire." You said smugly.
"A fire that Mare started." She retorted, the anger in her face becoming slightly more visible. She had a point, but you weren't about to back down now.
"Cake! We have Chocolate cake over there!" Pinkie Pie said, eagerly pointing a hoof towards a table covered in pastries, hoping for this conversation to end.
"We believe that there are more important matters than cake that require our attention at this moment Pinkimena Pie." Luna said, still looking at you as if you were some insect.
"Oh, then don't let me hold you up on your, 'Grand Royal Duties' Princess~." you said in your best Rarity impression. The sarcasm that left your lips could poison a King Cobra.
Luna's eye twitched. At that moment, you realized, you didn't just poke the bear, you straight up challenged it to a hoof fight. "THOU WILL SHOW US THE RESPECT WE DESERVE FOR PUTTING UP WITH THINE ARROGANCE!" Luna shouted in her Royal Canterlot voice. Welp, there goes your eardrums.
Pinkie Pie looked at you with fearful eyes and a smile that just wouldn't quit. She knew what you were about to do. And she was silently begging you not to, but that wouldn't work. You're weren't a pushover, in fact, were the pusher. And you're about to shove this Mare. Hard.
You inhale slowly, adjust the brim of your hat, and compose yourself. In your most regal and sarcastic voice, you let loose the Diamond Dogs of War. "Oh of COURSE your Devine elegance! The messiah of our humble abode we call home! My sincerest and upmost apologies for not basking in your Devine elegance and worshiping you immediately. Why, 'tis a crime that I have not lowered my head before thee and kissed thine royal hoof. Alas, I was so preoccupied making Ponyville safe, I failed to notice all you do for Ponyville. Why, I'd love to hear all about what you do, and all of the crimes you have stopped under the name," This is it, you are officially bitchslapping the bear and calling it fat. "Nightmare Moon~."
The silence from the crowd is deafening. Even the crickets stop chirping. You prepare yourself for what comes next. You think you've had a good life, at least the few months you remember being alive. Your only regret was not preparing a teleportation spell beforehoof.
Needless to say the night went downhill from there. You weren't a pushover in any sense of the word, and apparently neither was Luna. And as hard as you shoved, she shoved harder. She specifically shoved you with a giant blast of magic that sent you flying through a house or two. You lost count after the third house. In return, you threw AJ's delicious apple pie in her face. Waste of a pie in your opinion. You could even see a few apple chunks still stuck in the cosmos of her mane. Speaking of Luna, she looks PISSED.
Both of you were sitting in Twilight's castle of friendship. With the Mane 6, Starlight, Spike, and even Princess Celestia looking at the two of you with disapproving eyes. Well, all of them except Discord, who's not even attempting to hide his amusement.
"So... care to explain yourselves." Celestia stated, more of a command than a question.
"Luna started it!" You said, accusingly pointing a hoof at Luna.
"We did no such thing! Twas thou who started it with the piracy of our old persona!"
"You shot me through a building!"
"We only did that to show thou that we are not to be played with and belittled by some Mare who wears her Nightmare Night costume all year."
Oh, this Mare gonna get it. Royalty be damned, no one insults you like that.
"Well excuse me, Princess, not all of us can look so dark and creepy all year round like you."
Luna's eyes widen. "You dare call us creepy!?"
"If the horseshoe fits!"
"ENOUGH!" Princess Celestia shouts using her Royal Canterlot voice. "You're both acting like stubborn foals!"
Nopony else noticed, but you could see the gleeful smile that spread across Discord's face.
-/-/:1--2--:--/2--:-/;--4-)---@)-0/7¥_
... You are Discord, God of Chaos, Spirit of Chaos, King of Chaps, Lord to Too Many Titles, and reformed villain. And you've just had the greatest idea EVER! If these two grown mares are acting like foals... then maybe a "friendship lesson" is in order. With a snap of your claws and a devilish grin you watch your handiwork unfold. Anyway, back to the main Mare of Mystery.
-------------------------------------
You are Mystery Mare, the Mare of... something. Words are escaping your thoughts as the room grows around you. Or, more accurately, as you shrink to the size of a foal. You're not alone in this however, as Princess Luna was stuck with the same magical spell from Discord's claw and also appears to be aging backwards. As you were slowly reverting into a young foal, the two of you began to lose your memories, of course this isn't too different from any other day for you. You already know so little about yourself, it's not like this would impede you in any way. But Lu... Lu... what were you just thinking about?
You gaze up at the large room, squinting as you become blinded by the giant bright lights on the ceiling. You shake your head, causing your big funny floppy hat to tip slightly and cover your face. The pink grown up starts going "awww" as every other pony's jaw hits the floor. It's probably because of your hat. Your funny hat is so big that even the little blue filly sitting next to you starts to giggle.
"You're funny." The tiny blue unicorn said in a squeaky voice.
"I am not!" You say, putting on your best pouty face. Despite having a mask on all of the other older ponies seem to notice and join in the choroid of "awww."
The small purple alicorn looks at the funny looking creature with sheer fury in her eyes as he bursts out laughing.
The biggest pony is completely enamored in the blue fillie's cuteness to really notice though. And honestly, so are you. This little filly feels familiar to you. She holds out a hoof towards you.
"We're Luna, what's your name?" She asks you. Before you know it, you accept her hoof and begin to respond.
"I'm.... I'm... uhhhh.... I dunno." This earns another laugh from Luna, and gets you a look of curiosity from the purple pony.
The purple pony walks towards you and lowers her head. "Um. Mystery, how do you feel." She asks in a concerned voice. You only blink and look at your foal friend.
"I thought your name was Lulu." You say to Luna.
"We're Luna. We think you are mystewy." Luna says.
"Oooooh." You take a moment to collect your limited thoughts before holding out a hoof to Luna.
"Hi! I'm Mystewy. It's nice to meet you Lulu."
Yet another collective "awww" escapes the crowd. A pink unicorn pony tries to sneak away while the group is distracted with your cuteness, but the purple pony suddenly appears in front of her in a blinding flash of light. You don't know what they're saying, but it sounds like the purple pony is upset about something. Then the giant white alicorn placed herself in front of you, blocking your view of the scene taking place behind her.
"Hello my little pony." She said in a warm voice that felt like buttermilk. "How are you feeling?"
You were about to tell her how you felt when Luna suddenly leapt into the tall pony's chest.
"Tia! How'd you get so big!? *gasp* And where did you get those wings? They're so pretty!"
It was at this moment the tall alicorn let go of all her poise and formality as she broke down into a squealing ball of joy holding Luna close to her chest with her massive hooves. You look at the two for a long time, like a minute. That's basically forever to you.
"How ya feelin' Myst?" An orange pony asks. Taking your attention away from Luna, you gaze up at the most beautiful creature you've ever seen, who just so happened to be the sixth creature you'd seen today. You look at her with eyes full of wonder.
"Wowie! You're really pretty!"
The Orange mare blushes at your remark. But you're too focused on her hat.
"*gasp* You have a hat like me! Can we be hat fwiends? Can we, can we, can we?"
"No faiw!" The Luna pouts "We want a hat fwiend too! Tiiiiia. Can we have a hat fwiend too."
"Awww. I'll be your hat friend Luna." The white alicorn said, holding on tighter to the little filly.
The purple pony then walked towards the white alicorn, causing her to place the little filly next to you as they talk. You don't know what they're talking about, and decide that Luna is a much more interesting pony to talk to.
"Do you wanna play hide and seek?" You ask Luna.
"Yeah! Let's play!" And with that, you two scamper off, making proper use of all the empty classrooms to play hide and seek all night until you both drift off to sleep.
It's been about two days and school is officially starting. Aunt Pinkie Pie foalsat you and Luna for the weekend, asking you both what you wanted at your birthday parties on Saturday. Apparently you shared a birthday with Luna, so you two were really excited. Aunt Twilight said that it'd be a while but you just had to be patient. Thoughts of presents rush through your mind as you wonder what you'll get. You know Luna really wants an astro... aston... she really wants that book about stars she saw in a bookstore window yesterday. You told her Auntie Twilight could get it, but she doesn't want to let anypony know she likes books. She was worried Auntie Rainbow would call her an Egg head. So you decided to keep Luna's love of books a super best friend secret.
The two of you weren't old enough to attend school yet, and all of your aunts were busy teaching today, so you spent the day with Discord. When he saw the two of you he bursted into a furious laughing fit and quiet literally busted a gut. Auntie Flutter Shy gave him a stern look after a bit and he stopped laughing. She told him to watch over the two of you for the day while she went to teach her students. Discord begrudgingly agreed and let you inside Auntie Flutter Shy's house.
You and Luna were having a great time together, playing tag and other fun games. You really like hide and seek, and Luna really likes coloring. Everything was great, you were reading stories, petting the bunnies, and helped Luna make a nice mural drawing on the wall. Everything was perfect, until Discord uttered the cursed words of doom.
Th dreaded enemy you didn't realize that laid dormant in your new home. The terrible creature that haunted the foals of all homes, bath time.
You struggled as best as you could, which doesn't really mean anything to a God of chaos. Even with Luna's help, you two could only do so much against this monolith of a creature. Discord at the very least let you keep your mask on in the bath, so at least you had that.
Each day that week followed the same format. Your new uncle Discord would foalsit you, you'd play with Luna, make a mess, fight not to bathe, rinse and repeat. Every night ended with Discord telling you both a bedtime story. And each night it was more grandiose. He's even create illusionary worlds for the two of you to play in until you passed out. Tonight's story was super hero themed. You of course your name, Mystery Mare, and Luna decided to call herself Moon Mare. It was great fighting professor Poo-poo head and his army of Toilet terrors. It was the most fun you ever had.
As Discord lowered the illusionary world and tucked you both in, you felt something troubling Luna. She had been abnormally quiet after story time, even when Discord kissed you both goodnight. As Discord slowly closed the door, you turned over in your bed to look at your best friend.
"Luna?" You ask, "Are you ok?"
She's completely silent, it's actually unsettling. You could never get her to stop talking before, what was so different about tonight?
"Luna?" You ask again, hoping for a response. And to your relief, one comes.
"Mystery..." She says in a somber tone. "Can I ask you something?"
You sit up from your spot in the bed. "Anything."
Luna takes a moment to ponder her question. Searching for the right words to express her emotions. It takes a minute, but she finds them.
"Who are you?" She asks.
You're actually surprised by this question. What did she mean? You were her best friend, obviously. Suddenly, it clicks, she wants to know WHO you are. What you're like under the mask. Taking a moment to think it over, you jump out of bed. Luna sits up, her eyes following you as you enter the closet. After moving some clothes and toys around you grab a big book in your magical aura labeled, "Beginners Guide to Astronomy." And levitate it over to Luna. She accepts it in her own aura, looking at it in surprise.
You leap back into the bed, looking at Luna intently.
"Do you really wanna know my secwet Identity?" You ask in a low hush. Luna looks at the book in her hoofs, and then back at you. She nods vigorously at this. You smile.
"Come closer and I'll tell you." You gesture with your hoof for Luna to come closer, and she complies. She leans in, your muzzle right next to her ear. Slowly, you begin to whisper, "I am your best fwiend."
Luna blinks a few times, and then begins to laugh, pulling you into a tight embrace. You and Luna start to laugh wildly, rolling on top of each other and toppling down. Still laughing, the two of you stay like that for a long while, you flat on your belly on the floor, and Luna, on your back laying on you like you were a pillow.
"Are we really your bestest fwiend?" Luna asked.
"The bestest of best. The super bestest best philly friend for life and beyond!" You say, throwing a hoof into the air with that last word. Luna laughs again. The two of you stay there for a long time, laughing and reading Luna's book. THIS was the best time you ever had. And just think, tomorrow you'd spend your first Birthday with your SBBPFFLB. Life was great.
…
You are twilight sparkle, the princess of friendship, Headmare of the school of Friendship, and apparent Aunt to Princess Luna and Mystery Mare. You're currently sitting in Fluttershy's parlor, waiting for Luna and Mystery Mare to wake up. Today was Luna and Mystery Mare's "Birth Day." So, they should return to their normal selves today. You were worried how Luna and Mystery Mare would react when they became full grown ponies again, but seeing them so happy as foals only makes you feel more and more certain that you did the right thing letting the spell take its course instead of reversing it. That was of course until the guest bedroom door in Fluttershy's house bursted open towards you. In the doorway stood Princess Luna and Mystery Mare, both of whom were glaring daggers at each other as they strode out of the room, horns practically locked in combat.
"We will never speak of this again, Mare of Mystery." Princess Luna said growling through her teeth.
"Agreed." Mystery Mare said, trying her best and failing to contain her cold and bitter rage.
It was at that moment you decided to be an oblivious idiot and ask the dumbest question of all time. "How are you two feeling?"
Both of them instantly turned their heads towards you. Princess Luna looked as if she were about to turn back into Nightmare Moon at that point. And Mystery Mare, despite wearing her full mask, managed to show an intense look of raw anger that nearly rivaled Luna's. They soon glanced back at each other, sharing malicious smiles and eyes full of deviousness.
"You want the pink one or the purple one?" Mystery Mare coyly asked Luna.
"It would be treason if thou went after Twilight. I shall handle her." Luna said to Mystery Mare.
With a nod of her head, Mystery Mare galloped out of the house towards your school, yelling back, "Thanks LuLu."
You nervously look at Princess Luna and stumble for something, anything to say.
"Um. Now Luna, let's not do anything rash." You say, knowing that no spell can save you from what'll happen next.
"We think that this is only fair Twilight." Luna said, a wicked grin spreading across her face as she tilted her head up. Wait, no she's not tilting her head up, she's growing. Wait, no that's not it either. You're shrinking. And, and... and is she your mama? Many thoughts wander through your mind, but a strange sense of dread still follows you all the way towards your foalhood.
Chapter 2. The Great and Powerful Mystery Mare.
You are the dazzling and mysterious Mare of Mystery, Mystery Mare. It's been about a week since you left Ponyville. Twilight and Starlight should have reverted to full grown ponies by now. You would have stayed and watched the wacky adventures and hijinks they were bound to get themselves into for the next week, but certain events during your foalhood made you run like Tartarus out of ponyville. No, it was nothing you and Lulu did together, you actually had a great time with Luna. You even have a foalhood picture of the two of you stowed away in your pant leg. Though if anypony were to ask you would never admit that it was you and Luna. As a foal she was fun but as a full-grown mare she's still a pain.
Anyway, back on track. There were two reasons you left Ponyville. The first reason was because you did something really dumb. See, foals are stupid and have no sense of dignity or shame, so you tried to propose to AJ with an apple. AppleJack laughed it off of course, but that memory will haunt your dreams forever. Of course, being a foal wasn't so bad. Since you don't remember your own foalhood, making a new one somehow felt... nice? No, it's more like it was fulfilling. Like you finally got to live and relax. Speaking of relax, you haven't done that in some time. While you were a foal, some random fan found your Cavern of Mystery and started squatting there. Apparently, they wanted to become your sidekick. He called himself the "Selfless Stallion." Though you'd prefer to call him, "the second reason you left Ponyville." Just hearing the name, Selfless Stallion, sent shivers down your spine.
So, you decided it was about time to move to escape the crazy. Ponyville was getting a bit too boring anyway. There weren't nearly enough life-threatening situations for your taste. After all, you were an adventurous hero waiting for adventure to beckon her with a call to action! Any moment now, action, and adventure will come sailing through the wind of adventurous action an—
"Hey, what are you doing on Trixie's Wagon?" Somepony shouts. You blink a few times and look around. You were apparently posing heroically on a blue unicorn's wagon monologuing to yourself about adventure.
You laugh nervously and apologize to the rightfully irritated blue unicorn.
"Heh, heh. Sorry about that."
"Whatever. Just dismount Trixie's wagon this instant!" The pony, apparently Trixie, says.
With such a demanding tone, you decided to obey her orders, leaping off of the wagon and striking a heroic action pose as you land on the ground. That seemed to slightly impress her. You reach out a hoof to her.
"My name is Mystery Mare, the Mare of Mystery~. It's nice to meet you Trixie."
"Gasp! How did you know Trixie's name? Are you perhaps a fan of the great and powerful Trixie?"
"Ummm. Yes?" This Mare is extremely egotistical, which often meant they were equal parts extremely crazy and needy. A lesson you picked up from... huh. You don't remember where you learned that from. Whatever. Gut instincts almost never failed you before, so why stop listening to them now.
"Well, Trixie is glad to meet you too Mystery Mare. Tell Trixie, are you also a performer like Trixie, only less great and powerful?"
"Eh, kind of? I'm actually a vigilante! Fighting crime wherever it may lurk!"
Trixie's eyes grow wider. "Oh My Trixie, you're a superhero?!"
"Ehhh. I prefer vigilante of Mystery, but yeah, super hero works too I guess."
"Ohmygosjohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! A real life super hero!" Trixie beams with joy, letting out a high pitched cheerful squeal. This was a new experience to you. Normally ponies just roll their eyes at your claims of heroism. You could get used to this fangirling.
…
Of course Trixie would steal your costume. Why the Tartarus wouldn't she. You leave to take a bath in a nice secluded pond for ten minutes, and poof! All your shit is gone. You could find her, make her give it back and run off. But then you'd have to be seen outside of your costume. By other ponies! You've almost never taken off your costume. It felt like a security blanket to you, the one thing that gave your life a meaning. And that's really all you had. You don't have memories, you don't have a past, you don't even have a name. For Celestia's sake, you don't even have a cutie mark, which is another reason why you always wore the costume. Not having a cutie mark is essentially the same as not having an identity, not having a purpose in life. But that costume, that was your metaphorical cutie mark, your identity, and it was your real purpose in life. Without it you just feel... naked...
"Oh, Sweet Celestia, I'm naked!" You scream into the empty clearing. Opening one of Trixie's chests, you scrounge around for something to cover your naked body. Inside the chest were just a lot of capes and hats, nothing to really cover yourself completely with. Deciding to work with what you've got, you take one of Trixie's big hats and cut out two eyeholes. You then proceed to wrap yourself in a cocoon of capes, covering every inch of your body. Now nopony should be able to see what you look like. But your eyes were still clearly visible. Going back through all of Trixie's junk, you found a pair of bright pink star shaped sunglasses. It's not really your preferred color, shape, or accessory, but it's all you've got.
Dawning your last piece of floating, you are once again Mystery Mare, Mare who's missing her costume.
…
Looking at the large beast in front of you, you do what any brave Hero would do.
Run like Tartarus in the other direction! Yeah, it didn't sound to brace or heroic, but despite how heroic or adventurous you were you would never be suicidal or stupid enough to fight a bear.
Chapter 3. A sidekick joins the mystery.
…
It was a changeling. But not the colorful happy go looking type of changeling you saw in the newspaper you totally didn't steal. This changeling was different. It had black chitin armor that glistened in the sunlight, and large holes that crept along it's legs. It spoke slowly in a... was that thick Vanhoover accent?
"Huh?" You ask, taken aback by the changeling’s voice and tone. She sounded pissed.
"I said, who are ya, and what are ya doin' in my neck o'da woods. Metaphorically and literally speaking."
Oh, well you can't just tell her that you stumbled onto this area after running away from a bear. That's not cool enough. What if...
You use your most exaggerated hero voice to try and intimidate your opponent. "I should ask what you're doing in MY forest citizen! This place is a dangerous..." you struggle to find a cool word. "Place! A young changeling like you wouldn't make it through the night in these woods! But worry not, for I, Mystery Mare, the Mare of Mystery, will help you!"
The changeling looks unimpressed with your theatrics. In fact, she looks almost bored.
"Riiiiight." She drags on her words. "So, you're what? Some sorta supa hero or somethin'?"
"Yes! I am the Mare of Mystery, Mystery Mare! I am the mystery!"
The changeling gives you a deadpan look.
"Uh-huh. Yeah, ok nutjob. So uh, where's da fire?"
"The what?"
"Ya know, the crime. We're in the middle of the Everfree, not much crime goes on in here sweetie."
You look around and surely enough, you were in the middle of Bumbuck nowhere.
"W-well, I...." You pause thinking of something, anything to say. "Why do you think there's no crime here? Is it perhaps..." you lean down and let the last word hang on to build dramatic flair. "A mystery?"
The changeling looks at you, completely unamused. She stays like that for a good minute before letting out a sigh. "You sure do like the word 'mystery' don't cha." She asked in a defeated tone.
"Of course, I'm the--"
"Mare of Mystery or whateva." She interiors. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work at do."
The changeling turned away from you and began to trot away. You decide to follow her, both because you're lost and because she's... different. From what you knew all of the changelings supposedly turned goody two hoofs and became a bunch of peaceful cupcakes. So, to see a love hungry changeling like Cameo was somewhat of an oddity. And that intrigued you. Not in the, I want to get to the bottom of this mystery, kind of intrigued. More like the, hey you're neat wanna hang out, kind of intrigued.
"Hey why are ya following me?" The changeling asks, both slightly irritated and genuinely confused.
"Oh, I-I..." You're stammering, talk damnit. "I just wanted to see if you needed help. After all it's a hero's duty to help any creature in need!"
Utter silence pierces the forest. Not even the birds are chirping, adding to this already awkward situation. Here you were, lonely Miss Mystery Mare, trying to make friends with a changeling.
…
Cameo was an alright Mare. Changing? Were female Changelings called Mares? Hm. Something to ponder later, but that's beside the point. Cameo was A-ok in your book. She was probably the first creature you'd willingly call your friend. Yeah you had the Mane 6, and there was that thing with Luna, but Cameo felt different. She was somepony, er... some -creature- you actually respected. In a way, she was like you. Different, and even a little mysterious. You could tell that the two of you were going to get along just fine.
Chapter 4
You're prepared to make an entrance as the daring Cameo, the last true Changeling in Equestria. Your meal ticket, Mysty is currently bouncing with joy as you two wait at the train station in Ponyville. Mysty was all too excited to go to the Crystal Empire when you said there'd be a load of crime there. Of course, that was all a load of bull. Mysty was many things, your meal ticket, the Mare who bought you a train ticket, and the perfect distraction, not to mention a good fall Pony. Just looking in her general direction you can feel distracted. She was perfect for getting the guards attention so you could swipe the crystal heart. With it, you could probably become a Changeling Queen. No, a Changeling Goddess. That much love energy could make you more powerful than Celestia herself. All you had to do was get it, and what better way to get it than with a fall pony?
"All aboard" the conductor yells.
"Come on, let’s go!" Mysty says as she grabs your cape with her magic and guides you to your seats. You decided to be "nice" and play dress up to appease Mysty. You took the form of a young pony, not a foal but definitely not a stallion. You wore an inverted color scheme of Mysty's costume, minus the hat. Nothing would ever get you to wear something that stupid. You also have a question mark on your mask, with the dot located on where your horn was. Together you were "Mystery Mare and Question Colt." Yippee... This is probably the most demeaning disguise you've ever worn. But that heart will be all worth it. Godlike powers here you come.
Your fantasies of a glorious empire ruled by you are quickly drowned out by the loud squeal of joy from your Fall pony.
"Eeeiiii! I'm so happy! I can't wait to get to the Crystal Empire! Oh colt, do you think there'll be a lot of gangs there to thwart? Do you? Do you?"
You make a mental note, once you become a goddess, she will definitely be sent to Tartarus.
You shrug, trying to suppress your Vanhoover accent, but to little success "Maybe. But we should go sightseein' first."
"You're right! We need to survey the area and search the shadows, looking for villains at every corner."
You roll your eyes at Mysty's optimism. As tasty as it was, this would be nothing compared to the heart. Speaking of...
"You know Mysty, there is one place I know where some villains might be."
"Really? Where!?" She's brimming with sheer joy.
"The castle."
Mysty stops bouncing for a second and looks at you with an expression of confusion under her mask.
"The castle?" She asks.
"Yea. At the base of the castle is this giant crystal heart, baddies are always tryin' ta get their greasy hoofs on it." That's it, sell the story. With any luck you can convince her to "protect" the heart.
Your train of thought is interrupted by a loud group of Diamond dogs who come bursting through the door. "Nopony move!" The biggest one shouts. Your heart almost skips a beat as you hear the next words that leave their muzzle. "This is a robbery! Hand over your bits, gems, and other valuables, and nopony gets hurt!"
…
You are Mystery Mare, Mare of Mystery and really dumb luck. Said dumb luck has led you to adventure with your new friend Cameo.
This was it, a literal call to action! Your moment to shine! Mystery, action, adventure, it was all at your hooftips. All you had to do was be a hero.
"No!" You exclaim, a smug smile appearing on your face as you leap out of your seat. "You will not rob these hard-working mares and stallions of their hard earned bits you malicious villains!"
Looking back on it, you didn't know what to expect. Oh wait, yes you did. You expected your partner Question Colt to leap to your aid as you took on two Diamond Dogs at once. You'd struggle for a bit but inevitably prevail and help your sidekick. What you weren't expecting was to be overpowered by one Diamond Dog and for your sidekick to slink off while the Diamond Dogs hog tied you. Of course, your sidekick will come back and--
"Hey guys! Check out this Changeling I found!"
Celestia damnit.
"Let me go ya dumb dawg!"
You look up to see Camo being held by the back of her neck.
…
"Hey, don't look a great gift yourself in the mouth." The diamond dog taunted.
... Wow. He... He actually said that... Wow. That was racist as buck! Where the Hay does this dumb dog get off using racial jokes like that?! Hearing this fills you with a new resolve to personally buck that dog in the face.
…
You stand on top of the train, your cape bellowing through the strong winds and your hat flying off of your head, slowly drifting to the ground a few miles back. Oh well, you could get a new one later. What you can't get is a new friend. And you'll be damned if they take her.
…
Chapter 5. The Canterlot criminals.
…
Cameo decided to stay at your makeshift campsite. Apparently, she isn't too fond of the locals. She says they taste like desperation and insincerity in Canterlot.
…
The two yellow ponies you knew and trusted more than anyone, Flim and Flam were in town. Two charlatans sure, but not criminals. In fact, they were your informants, for the right price. You just had to make the occasional appearance at one of their venues, give it approval and the crowd would eat it up. Mainly because everypony still couldn't tell the difference between Mystery Mare and Mare Do Well including your heroic feats. Sure, Mare Do Well was first, but she left and now only the Mystery Mare truly remains.
As you make your way to the booth you see Flim and Flam setting up a fortune telling booth. You're actually kind of disappointed, they already pulled this trick a few weeks ago. You expected something more original from the pair.
"Good morning Film. Good morning Flam." You say laying both front hoofs on the table. Film and Flam take turns speaking.
"Ah! Good morning Mystery!"
"To what do we own the pleasure of your business?"
"Perhaps you've come for a fortune?"
"No thanks Flim, I'm good. Unless that fortune happens to involve fighting crime." You snidely remark.
Film and Flam share a glance, mischief clearly visible in their eyes.
"There maaay be."
"Buuut. We'd need something in return."
"Oh~? And what would that be?" You coyly ask, a wicked, yet heroic, grin growing on your face.
"Nothing too costly."
"Just a simple enforcement from a certain up and coming hero."
…
You make your appearance at the early hour of 11 o’clock in the morning, rising out of bed as Cameo, the last pure changeling. At least, you think you are. Truth be told you actually don't know, maybe you were?
During the last changeling invasion, you were tasked with impersonating some purple pony called Berry or something stupid like that. You got really into the role. In fact, some would, and rightfully did, say that you were going a bit overboard at the bar. It also didn't help that the next morning you continued this series of poor decisions by challenging a Minotaur to a drinking contest. To be fair, you were 90% sure it was Pharynx disguised as a Minotaur. But nevertheless, you were 100% wrong and got your flank handed to you.
Sometime during your.... "adventures" the changeling change happened and all of the changelings started giving love instead of taking it. It took you about a week to sober up enough to realize what had happened during your drunken stupor, mainly because the real Berry came back and nonchalantly challenged you to another drinking contest.
You also did a lot of other things with Berry that you'd rather not think about. Needless to say you learned a lot about yourself, and a lot about her. Maybe too much... Shuddering at some of the more unpleasant memories from that week, you try your best to distract your mind. You never thought you'd miss the cold embrace of the bottle more than you did now.
It's all... Fuzzy. Not fuzzy as in hazey, literally fuzzy. Like soft, cuddly, fluffy fuzzy. It's bizarre but you remember feeling immense love at one point in your life, enough to feed an entire hive for a year. You always thought this feeling you had was the result of a late night feeding downtown at a bar. Drunk ponies always gave you a hangover, so you just assumed one night you got drunk and that was the reason you had this fuzzy feeling.
Chapter 6. Mystery Mare crashes a Mafia Wedding.
You are Mystery Mare, the mysterious, you know what, you get the point. You're sitting next to Cameo, your changeling sidekick out of disguise. Two large griffins stand on their hind legs next to the two of you. Both of them are wearing stern expressions on their face as they stare at the large blue unicorn stallion with a short blonde mane, sitting behind a large oak desk. "Da Boss."
Next to Da Boss is his pet Timberwolf, because why wouldn't he have a dangerous animal as a pet? Considering your luck, you're actually surprised there aren't more Timberwolves around.
Cameo is staring wide eyed with a forced smile on her face, she decides to make the first move. "Soooo.... Congratulations on tha weddin'."
Da Boss is NOT happy. "You come to me, on the day of my beautiful daughter's wedding to her darlin' duchess, my soon to be daughter-in-law… Why?"
That last word hits you like a ton of bricks. Part of you debated selling out Flim and Flam, but that didn't sound too heroic. You were just told a lot of mafioso would be gathered in one place. Nopony told you that you'd be crashing a wedding.
…
"Father. What is going on?" A grey mare asks, her black suit that punctuated the bright pink bow tie she wore.
"Octavia, these two were sent here to ruin your wedding." One of the griffins states. Bucking tattletale.
"What? But that can't be, that's Mare Do Well. She would never do something so terrible." You wince at the mention of "Do Well." You really hated that ponies kept calling you that and would often correct them, but since she might save your hide, you decide to let it slide. Cameo takes full advantage of this.
"Yeah! Yeah! This right here is the real deal! Go on, Do Well, tell 'em." Cameo adds a little hint of annoyance to her last sentence.
…
"Hey Mysty, a thought occurred to me." Cameo says, staring at the bars. "This is all your fault!" She says in far too happy of a tone. How were you supposed to know you'd … Okay, in hind sight, spending all your bits on custom horseshoe-rangs probably wasn't your best idea. Then testing it on a guard’s carriage was also a bad idea. Running from them also didn’t help, and it might have been a bad idea to call them pigs… Okay, maybe it was your fault, not that you’d admit it.
…
Taking shelter from the rain you hide in a backend alley with a magic dome surrounding you both. A flash of thunder can be heard off in the distance, echoing in the sky as of an entire city exploded.
"Hey Mysty. Are we homeless?" Cameo asks.
"What? No were not homeless, we're heroes!" You say in an enthusiastic manor, hoping that this conversation won't continue.
"Uh-huh. So, where's our house?"
Buck.
You need to do some preemptive damage control. "Pfft. Heroes don't live in a house, they live at their hero base." Flawless answer.
"Ok. So, where's our hero base?" She asks, continuing with the same tone she started this conversation with.
You actually didn't see this obvious question coming. You look around. "It's... uhhhhh.... It-"
"We're homeless, ain't we?" Cameo interrupts. You let out a long sigh, punctuated by a loud boom of thunder overhead. This was going to be a long night for you two.
Chapter 6. Mystery Mare vs. Mare Do Well.
…
She didn't say a word, she just silently judged you.
"Well, say something!" You demand. She's remains stoically silent. It's only then that you remember that Mare Do Well was supposed to be the strong silent brooding type. Well, looks like was going to be a one-way conversation.
…
"Oh buck that's smarts!" You say as you pull yourself from the rubble. "You know, I was actually hoping for a peaceful resolution. We'd talk about the importance of trust, honor, and heroism. Maybe even sing a little song about it. But now that I think about it, I'd much rather kick the crap out of you. It's a shame though, cause I don't know if I can sing and kick your flank at the same time."
…
I'm a mystery with a missing history
Just imagine how surprised you'd be
When I told you I did all this for free.
A total pain in your mane
Nopony ever said heroes were sane.
…
And just like that, Mare Do Well was gone. She just vanished into the night.... Buck, you were screwed.
…
"It's impossible Cameo... we can't do anything." You fall to your haunches, your head landing firmly on the dirt with a loud thud. "We lost."
You look at the dirt beneath you, waiting for your body to decompose so your useless life can at least help a few insignificant flowers grow. Who are you kidding, your body would probably fertilize the weeds if you were lucky.
You're useless, you're pathetic, you're—
"You're wrong." Cameo's voice breaks your train of thought. "Well, I mean, yeah it's impossible. Butcha know what I think?"
You shrug your shoulders, "That I'm pathetic? That we’re dead?"
"Nah. Well, you're pathetic alright, but we ain't dead yet. And ya know somethin', I think 'impossible' is just a frilly word for 'hasn't been done yet.' Look at us! It was impossible for us to be friends, it was impossible for us ta do anything or worthwhile that had any value, and it was sure as Tartarus impossible for ya ta be some sorta supa hero. But you did... We did." She finishes off her rousing speech with one final statement. "We did, and we kicked flank doin' it! So quit mopin' around all 'woe is me' like some sorta failure. You did the impossible time and time again. Ain't no way some new 'impossible' thing is gonna stop ya from pullin' through. And it won't stop me from helpin' you either. So whadaya say?"
She reaches out her hoof to you. As you look up you seen an actually genuine and sincere smile on her face.... She. She believes in you? Even after everything, she's still here, by your side. Not as your sidekick or as your partner, but as your friend.
You grasp her hoof in yours, pulling yourself back up from the dirt. Reinvigorated by your friend's belief in you. She was right. You could stop this. You just needed a plan.
…
"This is a stupid plan!" Cameo yells, covering her eyes with her foreleg as she hides behind your bellowing cape, air swirling all around you both at a great velocity.
"A stupid plan is better than no plan!" You retort, giving the spell everything, you have. The blood rushing to your head, the pain in your bones, the sweat dripping down your forehead, all of them were distractions. Right now you just had to focus on the spell and nothing else. The air around you begin to pick up speed as the nearby flyers are caught in your tornado of wind. You only had one shot.
Chapter ?: I dunno what I was thinking when I wrote this.
…
"Tha Headless Mare? Ha! Please, that's a Foal's tale. There's no such thing as the Headless Mare." Cameo argues.
"She's real Cameo! Just look at this newspaper." You hold a newspaper to Cameo's muzzle with your magic. She glances at the photo, and then looks back at you.
"Mysty. That's just a pumpkin."
"A pumpkin with a face!" You exclaim.
"So? There all ova the place on Nightmare Night."
"But not during Hearth's Warming! It isn't normal. It's..." you pause. "Mysterious."
Cameo rolls her eyes at your comment. "Uh-huh. Ya know what else it is, a foal's tale. Ain't no such thing as the Headless Mare. It's a myth."
"So was Nightmare Moon, but she turned out to be real."
"Ok, that's one ti--"
You interrupt her, "and so was Discord, Tirek, The Crystal Empire, Starswirl the Bearded, and probably a whole lot of others. All myths that you could see if you looked outside the window or at a paper. Liiiiike." You hold the newspaper to Cameo's muzzle again. She pushes it down with her hoof.
"Ok Mysty. Let's assume that maybe, MAYBE, this Headless Mare is real, and MAYBE they're out there. What does that hafta do with us?" Cameo asks. Oh, such a simple question, with such a simple answer.
"Well, we're going to find her obviously!" You say as if it was the most obvious thing in Equestria, which it technically is.
Cameo's mouth hangs ajar as she stops eating. She slowly levitates her spoon of oats down and places her hooves to her temple. There's a long silence after that.
".... So... Lemme get this straight... You want us, you an me, to find a mythical mare, that we know nothin' about, that may or may not be real.... Why?" Cameo asks, still trying to understand how your brain works sometimes. Jokes on her, you have no idea how it works either.
"Duh. We need an arch enemy!" You state happily, throwing your hooves up into the air. Cameo just... looks at you. She's not puzzled, happy, angry, or even confused, she's just looking at you. She finally decides to break the silence she started with one word.
"What?" She says in the most deadpan tone known to mare.
"You know, an arch enemy! Someone to battle on a nearly constant basis. The yang to our yin, the wrong to our right, the vegetables on our dinner plate of heroism." You exclaim. "We need at least one arch enemy. Princess Twilight and the elements always take the best enemies. We need to stake our claim before they get their hooves on her. We need a slice of that villain pie, badly! Specifically, the pumpkin flavored slice."
“… …Mysty, as yur friend, I love ya, I really do. You’re my best friend and I know ya mean well, but-" No, no! She's trying to use reason! Engage kicked puppy eyes. "this... is..." you gaze into her eyes with your big sappy eyes. "Uh... Mysty? Whatcha doin' with your eyes?"
Right, the mask. Dammit, abort mission!
You face plant onto the table, causing Cameo's bowl of oats to jump slightly. Cameo looks at you in bewilderment.
"Uhhh, Mysty? You ok?"
You nod your head, your face still firmly planted to the wooden surface.
Cameo let's out a small sigh.
"You really want this don't you." She says, more of a fact than a question.
Once again, you nod.
"Do ya wanna try and go find her?"
You nod again.
"Ugh. Fine, we'll go look for it if it'll make ya feel bet-"
You wrap your hooves tightly around Cameo, embracing her in a firm hug, repeatedly saying, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Yeah, yeah, alright. We'll go Monster huntin'. But first I wanna finish my cereal."
…
The Headless Mare looks at you with unwavering determination in the hollow holes that were her eyes. They looked like a deep abyss of pain and suffering that would never end. It reminded you of the time your hive caught on fire, how it busted through all of the doorways.
…
The picture itself is of an above average tall orangish yellow unicorn Mare wearing a guard uniform, a few strands of her red Mane hang from the back of her helmet. It's a pretty nice painting, not photorealistic, but close enough. It was slightly worn, with a few tiny rips that threaten to grow into one massive tear.
…
Before you, The Headless Mare appears! Or... a Headless Mare? This mare is different. Sure, she's missing a head, and she has the same dark cloak but her coat is a bright orangish yellow. She also has an apple for a head. Not a giant apple, just a normal apple connected to the neck by several vines. The Apple on the mare's neck looks hollow. It has an adorably small pumpkin carving face on it, and is apparently being lit by a single firefly inside it.
…
"So, what's your name. I doubt it's ACTUALLY Headless Mare." Mysty asks.
The Headless Mare looks at the floor sheepishly, dragging her front hoof in a tiny circle on the carpet.
She speaks in a very timidly and shy voice, "my name's... Pumpkin Pie." Oh, the cruel irony. Even if it's not irony, it's still cruel.
A long and uncomfortable silence covers the three of you. A terrifying silence that is broken by one cheerful word.
"Neat!" Mysty says optimistically. You'd facehoof but.... ya know what screw it, you facehoof.
…
"Holy cow! Darin' Do is real?!" Cameo goes into full fangirl mode over her apparent idol. You look at her quizzically.
"Um... Who's Daring Do?" You ask. It's a completely innocent question. But the expression on Cameo's face looks like you just asked her to hook you up on a date with Queen Chrysalis at a bar.
"Who's Darin' Do? WHO'S DARIN' DO?! She's only like, the best adventurer of all time! She's so cool!"
…
Daaark HEART is Evillll!
All before me shall be fearfulllll!
If any DARE to be chearfullll,
A cruellll fate they SHALL befell!
Hahahahahahaha!
Dark Heart finishes off his surprisingly short villain song with a maniacal laugh that echoes through the night sky. Until one single voice breaks the echo of laughter with one outstretched word.
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmme." Dark Heart eyes go wide.
"Who dares to have a death wish as I laugh maniacally?" He shouts.
You throw your hoof high in the air.
"I did."
Oh he does not look happy. Neither does Cameo.
"The buck are ya doin' Mysty?!" Cameo quietly shouts at you. You don't really pay attention to her though, and continue insulting Dark Heart.
"Your name, your plan, your song, it's all lame. Boooo. You suck at being a bad guy. Booooo. Write a better villain song. Booooo." All of the citizens are staring at you now. Not in the, oh wow some pony's standing up for us. More like, oh Celestia she's gonna die, kind of stare. All attention is on you, nopony even notices the apple headed Mare standing behind you.
…
"I don't think Spin da bottle is a two-playa game." You deadpan to Mysty.
“It totally can be.” she argues back.
Tales From the Trash Bin. (Dani Phantom. Pt. 1)
Tales From the Trash Bin. (Dani Phantom. Pt. 2)
Tales From the Trash Bin. (Scott Howl)
The First Tales From the trash Bin. (Pearl)
Tales From the Trash Bin 2. (Zurg)
Tales From the Trash Bin 3. (Two-Face)
Tales From the Trash Bin 4. (Venom)-ADOPTED
Tales From the Trash Bin 5. (Music Meister)
Tales From the Trash Bin 6. (Flash Sentry)
Tales From the Trash Bin 7. (My Street)
Tales From the Trash Bin 8. (Iron Golem)
Nice 👍