Tales From The Trash Bin.

Here's another story that I'll never complete. This was one of my earlier works, before I knew anything about pacing, plot, story progression, or any of the basics for being a writer. It's a corpse of random character interactions and stuff that, in hindsight, doesn't make much sense. Enjoy it, laugh at it, do whatever. I just figured I'd get this off of my computer finally. Heck, take it and see if you can't try to fix it. I personally ran into the very common problem of, "Too much of the other universe in the MLP verse," and "too big of a cast." I think I would need to kill off the rest of the mane six cast to make room for all the weird stuff I had planned. Anyway, enjoy, ignore, or do whatever.

My Little Pearl.

Prologue: The luck misfortune of the Irish.

My name’s Earl Slaughter, and yes that’s a real last name and I’m damn proud to have it, better than my mother’s maiden name and it’s one of the few things I could keep in magical lala land, and even then no”pony” can say it right for shit.

Anyway, it was a beautiful morning at Wizard World comic con. The sky was clear, the lines were fast, and everyone was being genuinely nice. Nothin’ to really complain about. So, I seemingly had no reason to be pissed off, but I was.

I was pissed because some moron who didn’t know how to do their damn job lost my luggage at the airport, and with it my Jon Snow costume. I worked hard on making that thing, hours of sewing, hot glue burns, some literal blood, sweat, and tears (mainly blood and tears), and weeks of hard work all for nothing. The only reason I came to Comic Con was to participate in the costume contest and buy an authentic replica of Jon Snow’s sword, Longclaw, before I entered. None of that foam sword crap either, I’m talking genuine metal that can slice a bastard in half if they fucked with you. Screw having a baseball bat to defend myself from home invaders, a badass sword would make that fucker who stole my flatscreen tv think twice. I couldn’t get one back home, because I was pretty sure the airport would have taken it before I got to the convention, so I was planning on buying one in Philly and mailing it back home after the contest.

But, because some dumbass at the airport didn’t know how to do their fucking job, now I’d be mailing the sword back home after not participating in the costume contest. At the very least the trip wouldn’t be a total waste. I’d still be able to have some fun, buy some cool junk, take pictures with cosplayers, and just watch the costume contest instead of participating in it.

I went around most of Comic Con either looking for my sword or looking at the cosplayers walking around.

I was brought away from my happy thoughts as I thought about the moron who fucked up at the airport. Technically speaking, they’re partially to blame for where I ended up and who I ended up as. But, that’s a bit later in my story.

So I spent a good thirty or so minutes looking around for the perfect replica of Jon Snow’s sword, or just any sword at that point,

"Hello stranger. What're you buyin?" The prick who led me to the land of Ponies and Unicorns asked. Yup, the one, the hopefully only, Merchant. Seriously, fuck that guy.

“Just browsing for now. Say, you wouldn’t happen to have a replica of Jon Snow’s sword by any chance, would you?” I asked the prick. He nodded and walked behind the curtain at the back of his stall, which I thought was odd at the time because that curtain should have just led to a wall. After a minute of, I shit you not, cat noises, pots clanging, and other cartoony noises, complete with a clown horn at the end, he came back out with a sword wrapped in white cloth before blowing an insane amount of dust off of it. Thank god I didn’t have asthma. Then again, I’m not sure if that would make a difference, as I was fairly certain whatever he just blew off had a good amount of asbestos mixed in.

The sword itself was badass as all hell with a black grip that gave the weapon a good handle to use. The grip had a snarling wolf's head for the pommel of the sword. The wolf’s head was carved out of a pale white stone with two small pieces of garnet for the eyes of the wolf, giving it an absolutely menacing appearance. On the other side of the grip was a steel Cross-guard that merged seamlessly into the blade. The only slight problem I had with it was that the blade was a bit on the small side. While the real sword was a two-handed weapon, the one the guy at the stand was selling to me was a one-handed sword with a slightly smaller blade than the original. Not that I was really complaining mind you, it would make it a hell of a lot easier to find a box for it so I could mail it off after the convention.

“You know, I’ve always been meaning to get rid of this thing. Not a lot of GOT cosplayers come to my stall. Is there anything else ya’d fancy?” He asked. My eyes wandered the stand for a bit before they fell on a plastic pink toy spear with a blue swirled tip that was lying next to half of an oval pearl that was about the size of the palm of my hand in the display case.

The bastard noticed where I was looking and chuckled to himself. “I see you’re a Steven Universe fan.” He said.

“Nah, but my cousin is. Lil’ princess made me binge watch it with her a dozen times while I babysat her. She’d probably like something from the show. Though I have to ask, why’s that Pearl gem cut in half?” I asked as I pointed at the prop in question.

“It’s a cosmetic for cosplayers. It has a sticky pad on the other side so it sticks to your forehead. Tell you what, since I’m feeling generous today, I’ll give you the pearl and the spear along with the sword for… $50.” He said. Fifty bucks, ya’d have to be insane to not a accept that offer. And unfortunately for me, I was completely sane when he offered.

“Hot hell, you’re serious? Damn man, that’s awful nice of you.” I complimented.

“It’s the least I can do. I love to give customers a fighting chance.” He said cryptically. At the time I thought he was referring to people needing good props to stick out. If I knew what he actually meant I would have run like hell.

“Thanks.” I said as I took out a fifty from my wallet and paid him. Taking all of my purchased goods with me, I decided to stick the pearl on my head for shits and giggles. Maybe I’d even take a silly picture of myself to show my friends later.

The adhesive let the gem stick nicely to my forehead, allowing me to use my free hands to carry the sword and the spear away from the stall. As I took two steps however, I began to feel the worst sense of vertigo I ever felt in my life. Soon I collapsed to the floor and passed out.

I could faintly hear the bastard at the stall say, “Good luck in Equestria.”

And then I fell into a dark soul crushing abyss.

Chapter 1: Gem Dog Days.

Darkness, that's all that greeted me before my conscious thoughts returned to my mind. One I was able to regain conscious thought my mind was head was hit by the biggest migraine I ever experienced. My brain felt like it was on actual fucking fire as I started to wake up.

“Mother fucker...” Said a feminine voice that WAS NOT mine. It sounded soft yet high-strung.

I didn’t think about that for too long before I noticed that couldn't feel my body. I could only feel the searing pain in my head and the dirt tickling my face, a not too unfamiliar feeling since I woke up in my fair share of ditches in the past after a good or bad night of partying. Slowly, the sound of insects crawling and the smell of sulfur graced my nonexistent ears and nose. Slowly opening my eyes from the darkness I was greeted with slightly less darkness, darkness and dark grey dirt right in front of my face.

I couldn’t feel my limbs, but I knew they were there, where else would they be? They had to be there. I hoped to God they were there. I tired to move my arms, only to realize I couldn’t move them. Or my legs…

Why couldn’t I feel them? I couldn’t wiggle my toes, I couldn’t feel my face scrunch up in fear, I couldn’t feel my chest rise and fall as I started to panic, there was nothing.

I was somehow paralyzed, possibly drugged, and dragged buried underground. I was going to die there, but not before they would dig me back up, torture me in some sick ass game of Saw, and then fill up a tub of ice to cut out my kidneys.

I kept breathing heavily, at least I thought I was breathing, until the muffled sound of another person groaning caught my attention. I might be safe! Someone else if here with me.

But then I realized it might be the kidnapper, coming back to torment me by ripping the flesh off of my body or doing some other fucked up stuff to me.

I heard the figure hit the dirt with a shovel, I assumed from the higher pitch of a voice that it was a woman. I also heard the muffled sound of chains rattling with each movement, so maybe it was a cosplayer from the convention dressed up with chains hanging off of him. Or, more likely, my sadistic kidnapper had a fetish for chains and was going to whip me with them until I begged for death.

The rusted metal slapping against my skin with enough impact to tear it apart

"Ow. My fucking head." I mumbled to myself as I rubbed my head.

"W-who are you?" A mysterious female voice asked me. I looked around in the darkness and jumped back a little when I saw an albino woman with purple hair. I was immediately nervous since I thought she was the one who took me, but then I noticed the chains around her wrists. Her wrists were nearly rubbed raw from the heavy metal scraping against her bare skin

"Um, hi?” I said as I raised my hand and waved at the woman. When I did that though, I noticed my voice wasn't the only thing that changed about me. My hands were slim and very feminine, and my wrists were a lot smaller, not to mention I felt heavier in....

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" I screamed as I looked at my chest. "What the hell happened to me?! Why do I have tits?!"

I looked down at myself and noticed how different my body was. Firstly, my skin was a weird whitish color, kinda like ivory or something, it didn’t look or feel natural in the slightest. It felt smooth to the touch, like a baby made of velvet just took a fresh bath.

The next thing I noticed was my new feminine body and the odd proportions of my arms and legs. They looked like noodles and barely had any muscles on them, almost like I was really malnourished which I could have been since I was buried alive. But something was off about that, I noticed that while the woman sitting across from me was completely coated in dirt and grime, I was completely spotless, there wasn’t a speck of dirt on either my skin or clothes.

Speaking of clothes, I noticed I was wearing a transparent silk ballet skirt around my waist, a pair of short pink-colored leggings, light-green socks, along with a pair of slip-on ballet flats to match, and a sky blue shirt with a yellow star on my chest. These clothes looked familiar to me, frighteningly so…

“Um… Miss, are you ok? Who are you?” The albino asked.

“Mirror… I need a mirror. Uh, ahem, sorry, Ma’am, but do you have a mirror or something?” I asked the albino woman as I knocked myself out of my stupefied trance. The woman sitting across from me slowly nodded and handed me her pocket mirror.

Quickly snatching the pocket mirror out of hand like it was a million dollars, I silently prayed that I was wrong about my theory, and opened it.

I looked at myself in the mirror with utter disbelief. The first thing I noticed was the giant dagger on my face that was apparently my new nose. Then I noticed the rest of my head, it was a nearly perfect oval with peach colored hair, two giant blue eyes, and the pearl prop I bought at the convention.

“What…” I asked dumfounded. Somehow, someway I was turned into fucking Pearl! Pearl, the goddamn cartoon character. I didn’t understand how this was possible, it really shouldn’t be possible. I started to freak out and hyperventilate. Thankfully, the woman sitting near me handed me a paper bag to breath into. I didn’t know where she got it from and I quiet frankly didn’t care.

My breathing started to slow down to a more as I took several dozen deep breaths to calm myself down.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!”

If I had to describe how it felt to be made of light, I'd say I felt extremely naked. Like, even if I wasn't wearing clothes as a human I couldn't hope to be this naked.

"Hang on ma'am." I told the woman on my back as I swatted away the ugly fucking dog demons.

"No, Earl. My name is Eeeeearl. With an E."

"Eeerrrail. Errrlllay? Ermigedon?" Pinkie Pie tried to say. I slapped my face in frustration at her inability to say my name.

“There’s a caste system for Gems, the top are the Diamonds, the head honchos who run everything, with the very bottom being Quartz Soldiers and Rubies.”

“I’m a Pearl, I don’t really fall onto that system as a person, I’m more like what the pebbles are. Basically, Pearls are shiny objects for Gems to flaunt around to show off their status, anyone from a Ruby to a Diamond could have one or more Pearl’s if they did something to warrant praise.”

“So you’re just seen as a trophy?”

“Essentially.”

Chapter two. OG Peal's a Prick!

Ah~. Morning.

...
...

What a shit time of day.

Needless to say, I wasn't a morning person back home on Earth, I was a night owl. I'd go downtown at night looking for a nice bar to spend some time in with my fiends that lived nearby, and when I wasn't doing that I'd look up at the stars in the sky and imagine what everyone else on Earth was doing. I'd wonder how many people were staring at the stars, how many were laying down, how many were standing. Were they all doing it to relax or did they do it for some other reason? How many of them were staring at the same stars as I was? How many of them were staring at them alone like I was...

Alone... It's weird, I should’ve felt alone after finding out I was the only human on this planet. Well, only technical human but the point still stands. I should have felt alone, but I wasn't. I had what I guess you could call friends here, Berry Punch was a total bro, she was a bit of a drunkard, which was something I absolutely envied given my current situation. We spent most of the night shooting the shit as she got hammered for both of us.

I learned a lot about her that night as she basically spilled her entire life story on the table. She was divorced by some guy named Tasted Venue and they both shared custody of their daughter. I felt bad for her, my mom went through a similar situation with her first husband and it was a strain on all of us.

I also found out Berry Punch was planning on buying a bar in Ponyville and run the place, but was worried that she'd accidentally drink her entire stock. So, I asked her if she'd be willing to hire me as a bar tender, to which she said, "BUCK YES!" Fucking pony swears are adorable.

Anyway, at least I got a decent job out of our nice talk. If I couldn't get wasted then I might as well help everyone else get there. Though, there was a slight hitch that I needed to take care of if I wanted a job, I needed to become a legal citizen.

“Well, since you’re not affiliated with any country or government recognized by our government, you’re essentially an alien in every sense of the word, so a special exception was made.”

“That exception being?”

“A cultural exchange program along with a citizenship test.”

Speaking of body, I was still kinda weirded out by this situation. I should have probably been freaking out a bit more, but I passed the "flip the fuck out" stage a while ago thanks to those monsters in the caves. For some reason freaking out felt counterproductive. Well, I know it would be counterproductive but that's never stopped me before.

No, for some reason I just had this feeling that I was going to be ok, like a little soothing voice in my head was singing sweet nothings to calm my nerves.

Changing my body wasn’t that hard, it was just very limited, I could change certain features but I couldn’t stray too far away from the mold. I could change my hair, my hue, and my clothes, but aside from that I couldn’t do anything. None of the options for my hair looked too appealing and I couldn’t change my hair color without also changing my skin coloring the process, so unless I wanted red skin, yellow skin, or charcoal black skin, I’d have to stick with my pink hair and usual skin tone.

I also couldn’t make my dagger nose any smaller or move my gem to any other part of my body. I could rotate my gem, flip it, and put it at an angle, but it couldn’t leave my forehead. I decided to leave it the way it was because it felt better. Every other angle or position on my forehead felt weird, it was like wearing your shirt and socks inside out, or wearing your shoes on your opposite feet, it was uncomfortable. I had no idea how the hell Pink Diamond dealt with that, I’d would’ve gone bonkers if I had to deal with that for an extended period of time.

I mean sure, Pink Diamond saved humanity by causing the Gem war, but that was mostly just a happy accident. She wanted the Earth for the Gems, not the humans, and while I’m sure she wouldn’t tolerate humans being killed I could almost guarantee they’d be pets or zoo animals if 99% of the Earth Gem population wasn’t corrupted. I mean, she had her own zoo for humans in space and she knew nothing about babies. I knew more about babies in a year than she did in five thousand, which meant that even though she’d interact with humans she only really started to try and understand them when Greg came around. I’d be willing to bet money that she didn’t even know what blood was.

“Ta Pearl! Congrats on becomin’ a citizen!” Applejack said enthusiastically as she held up her glass.

“Here, here!” They cheered as our glasses clinked against each other. I let a warm smile spread across my face as I looked at… Well, I guess my friends. Even though we were different species entirely, and despite being in a body with the wrong gender, they treated me like a normal person.

“Thanks guys, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Oh, why don’t you try, Pearl?” Rarity asked me.

“I can’t sing.” I replied simply. Rarity just waved a hand at me and huffed.

“Nonsense, Darling. You have the perfect voice for it.” She complimented. I was about to open my mouth and tell her how bullshit that was when I suddenly realized something. I didn’t have my old voice anymore, I had Pearl’s voice, which meant I could sing as well as Pearl if I tried.

“Soooo?” Rarity asked with a bemused smile on her face. “Will you be treating us to a special serenade tonight or not?”

“I…” I hesitated as I thought up an answer. I didn’t want to sing and make a fool of myself on stage, but something inside me was screaming for me to get up on that stage. It was a similar feeling to being absolutely hungry and needing to stuff something down your throat to satisfy your cravings, except this was worse. My vocal cords felt like they were on fire, demanding that I use them to their fullest extent.

“I mean, I don’t have any songs I know and—“ I didn’t get to finish as Pinkie Pie shoved some musical sheets in my hands. A quick glance confirmed that it was actually the sheets to some music back from Earth!

I looked at Pinkie with wide eyes as I questioned how she did that. “H-how?”

“I dunno, I just thought you could use some music sheets.” She told me with a dopy smile. I wanted to question her a bit more about it, but I couldn’t focus on anything except the burning sensation in my throat.

“Alright… I’ll do it…” I relented as the pain in my body became too much to handle. “But don’t be surprised if I make an ass of myself up there.” I warned her as I got up out of my chair and walked up to the stage.

“Hi everybo—er, I mean everypony, my name is Earl, but a lot of ponies call me Pearl. Anyway, I would like the record to show that I am doing this against my will.” I joked, causing a few chuckles from my friends and a few other ponies in the crowd.

“So tonight you’ll all be hearing me sing a song from my home… It’s a very special song to me that I listened to a lot, and I hope you all enjoy it.”

“Um, this is a song from a little show called Hamilton um, called, ‘That would be enough’.” I told the audience before the music started up. The pianist played the notes beautifully as if she had been practicing that one song for her entire life. I was to taken aback by her playing that I almost missed my mark to start the song, but I was able to get it in time

“Look around, look around at how lu-cky we are, to be alive right now! Look around, look around!” I sung out. The words left my throat without hesitation, filing the air around me as the lyrics danced in the air with the piano notes.

As the music sailed out from my voice I felt an energy growing inside of me that made me feel at peace. “Look at where you are, look at where you started. The fact that you’re alive is a miracle. Just stay alive, that would be enough.” I continued to sing as the Piano player’s fingers hit the keys with her delicate fingers. As I continued to sing my eyes watered a bit as I remembered why I loved this song so much. It was my favorite song because my girlfriend and I would listen to it constantly, it was our song.

“We don’t need a legacy, we don’t need money, if I could grant you peace of mind that would be enough.” I sang as my voice almost cracked at the words. Apparently she did need those things, and I couldn’t give them to her. She wasn’t a gold digger or anything, far from it, she was one of the most generous people in the world that I knew. Probably too much for her own good since she ended up getting stuck with me.

I couldn’t repay her for all of her kindness, there were never enough hours in the day for me to try. But maybe that’s the problem, I don’t think I ever really tried. Having a job and college is a lot of stress, and at some point I just started focusing more on those things. Eventually, I decided that was worth more than a relationship, so I broke things off with her. A lot of good that did me, three years of college and here I was, stuck as a woman sining in a bar in a room full of Anthros.

“Let this moment be the first chapter, where you decide to staaaaaaaaayyy. And I could be enough. And we could be enough. That would be enoooouuuugh.” I finished, which the audience took as their moment to applaud and whistle approvingly.

————

I laid in a bed of beautiful roses and hibiscus flowers that gently drifted with the wind as a light breeze rolled in. The smell of the flowers assaulted my nose and filled my lungs with a beautiful aroma as I took a deep breath in to savor the feeling. I never understood what the big deal was about smelling flowers back home, sure they were kinda nice to sniff but you needed to bury your face in them to smell anything. Here though, the smell of roses and hibiscus flowers completely filled the air allowing me to breath in the scent without making out with a flower.

As I laid in the calming bed of flowers my gaze drifted ever so slightly to the left, allowing me to see a single purple flower standing alone amongst the sea of pink and green. It was a little forget-me-not, I remember that because… Because those were the flowers we needed to get for mom’s funeral.

I swallowed thickly as I remembered that moment from my past life, all of my friends, my family, they’re all gone. Or rather, I’m the one who’s gone. They’d all live the rest of their lives thinking I was dead and I could never tell them I wasn’t.

I was able to look inside Peral's... pearl? Oh, right. They called it a gem. Or, am I called a Gem? Fuck it, too complicated to figure out.

I was able to look inside Pearl's gem to see what I had. Amazingly, I still had Jon Snow's sword on me! At least I got something good out of this whole shitty situation. I also found some other useful things like a pack of cigarettes, a few vintage wine bottles I could sell for a fucking fortune, a pile of golden coins, what I could only guess was the holy grail, a soccer ball, some VHS tapes, a metric fuck-ton of swords, a fancy looking mir...

"Oh fuck…” I said as I looked at the mirror next to my pile of kickass loot. I slowly bent over and picked up the mirror so I could get a better look at it. It was an old round handled metal mirror with a teardrop shaped lapis attached to the back of it that had a deep crack running through the gem.

If I had a heart I'm pretty sure it would have stopped beating when I saw the cracked teardrop shaped blue gem on the back of the mirror. I couldn’t believe it, it was Lapis Lazuli's fucking mirror prison! The one she spent thousands of years trapped inside in the show! And she was still fucking in it!

My grip on the mirror loosened for a second and allowed the mirror to fall. Thankfully I was able to catch it before it hit the ground. I did not want to release her inside of my gem. I didn't know what would happen if a Gem reformed inside of someone else's gem, and I sure as hell didn't want to find out.

I did know one thing though, I absolutely needed to get Lapis out of the mirror as soon as possible, that poor girl didn't deserve to be locked inside of a mirror like that. But then I thought of something, how would I go about freeing her?

Granted, I could just pluck her gem out of the mirror and set her free, but then what? She still had that nasty crack on her gem, and I didn't have a way to fix it without Steven's magic spit. Wait... MAGIC!

I nearly slapped myself for my own stupidity. I was in a world with real life magic in it. Of course they would have something to fix Lapis' gem. But the only question was who to ask...

TWILIGHT POV

"Hiya Twilight." Pearl said cheerfully.

"Oh, hi Pearl! Do you think you can talk a little more about Gems and humans today?" I asked excitedly while summoning a stack of parchments and a quill.

"Eeeehhhh. Kinda? I was thinking it would be a lot better if a real Gem answered your question." She He told me. Wow, that’s a little more difficult than I thought.

"A real Gem?" I asked. I wondered if she meant a rock or—

"A genuine Homeworld Gem, someone who was born a Gem." She explained. I instantly teleported right next to her and hugged her arm tightly.

"REALLY!? You know another Gem? Why are they here?! Where are they?! Who are they?! Having somepony confirm some of the things you've said would be a great boon to my research!" I shouted with joy before I squealed like a little filly at the prospect of interviewing another Gem.

"Yes, I... technically know another Gem. Rather, she knew the original Pearl and maaay or may not... trytokillmeonsight." She explained quickly while removing her arm from my grip. My enthusiastic expression instantly morphed into a look of pure fear and horror after her words sank in.

"What?!" I yelled.

"Look, I promise to explain later. I just need your help to fix her and to be here in case things go south too quickly. Once she's out I'll need you to throw a shield over her as soon as she shows any aggression. Can you do that for me?" He asked me while putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Why would you want to have such a dangerous Gem here!?”

"She's not dangerous. She'll just be angry Twilight. Lapis is like Luna, they were both held in a prison for thousands of years. And while it was necessary in Luna's situation, Lapis never did anything wrong. She needs to be set free as soon as possible." He explained.

"Thousands..." I quietly repeated to myself. Princess Luna had to suffer a thousand years on the moon, and from how Pearl was phrasing it, it sounded like this other Gem has been gone for at least two, maybe three thousand years.

"Alright, I trust you Pearl. You said something about fixing her?" I asked.

"Yes. You see, Lapis' gem is cracked which can be fatal to a Gem. It would be like if someone chopped off your arm. You may live for a while but eventually the blood loss will kill you. If a Gem stays cracked for too long they could shatter." She explained. My face paled as I thought of how serious this situation really was. If I couldn't help this other Gem, she could die.

"O-okay. So how do we stop her from shattering?"

"Well, back on Earth there was a Gem who could cry healing tears to repair cracks in Gems. I was wondering if you may have a similar way to fix her crack using Magic.” Pearl said as she reached an arm inside her own head and pulled out a metal handheld mirror with a cracked blue teardrop on the back.

"Is… Is that her?” I asked hesitantly.

"Yes. So, do you think you could fix it, Twilight?" Pearl asked me with a worried expression on her face. I quickly nodded as I thought of a spell that could fix it.

"I could use a simple repair spell. It's usually used on broken vases and glass windows, but it might work for your friend... I hope." I told her. Pearl looked at the gem on the back of the mirror with a look of fear in her eyes as she considered my idea.

"It... It's safe, right?" She asked.

"I think so. Don't worry Pearl, I'll help her." I reaffirmed. Pearl nodded slowly as she handed me the mirror.

“Alright, just be careful. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“She’ll be alright, Pearl. Trust me.” I told her.

Taking the metal mirror in my hands and looking at the gem on the back, I focused my magic into the cracks that spread on the gem and began to seal them. It took a bit of effort but the cracks were slowly starting to fill in across the gem. When it was finally complete, I looked at my handiwork with a sense of pride as I handed the mirror back to Pearl.

"It... It worked! Oh, thank you Twilight!" Pearl exclaimed before she pulled me into a surprisingly strong hug.

"Y-you're welcome... Pearl, air..." I wheezed out before Pearl quickly let me go.

"Sorry. Guess I don't know my own strength." She said sheepishly.

"It's fine Pearl. So, how do we get Lapis out?"

"That'll be the easy part. The hard part comes when she gets out. Remember Twilight, throw up a shield if she does anything aggressive. Hopefully we'll be able to talk to her and get her to see to reason." Pearl explained. She then turned the back of the mirror towards herself and began to pull on the gem. As she was doing so, the grass around her began to die as the water was sucked out of it and started floating in the air.

The water absorbed from the plants soon started to form a runic shape around Pearl as she pulled on the gem. I was so taken aback by the sudden phenomenon that I didn't see when Pearl finally removed Lapis' gem from the mirror.

I only realized that Pearl accomplished her task when I heard the sound of glass shattering, causing me to look back up to Pearl. The blue gem in her hand quickly flew off towards the floating spheres of water as a blinding white light in the shape of a pony began to form around the gem.

Once it was finally over, a blue skinned Mare appeared and fell to her hands and knees. She was a a blue skinned woman with a dark blue short mane. Her dress was the same color as her hair, and had an opening in the back for her gem.

"Hey Lapis..." Pearl said with an awkward wave. "Now, don't freak out but—“ She didn't get to finish as Lapis launched a pillar of water at her, causing Pearl to fly a few yards away.

"Oh no..." I said to myself before a pillar of water came towards me, knocking me out cold.

Chapter 4: We are NOT the Crystal Gems.

PEARL POV

Ouch... Water powers are bullshit.

"Wait! I'm not a Crystal Gem!" I shouted as I dogged another water attack from Lapis.

"LIAR!" She screamed as she tried to lunge at me.

"I'm sorry Lapis! What they did to you was awful, but I swear I'm not a homeworld Gem or a Crystal Gem!"

"Okay... so, you're not a Crystal Gem?" She asked with a mixture of anger and possibly hope? I couldn't really tell over the skepticism in her voice.

"God no, fuck them. Their leader was an idiot. An entire war could have been prevented if she just talked to White Diamond." I told her.

"What are you talking about?" Lapis asked, this time more curious than angry.

"Their leader 'Rose Quartz' wasn't a Quartz, she was Pink Diamond in disguise." I explained in disgust as I folded my arms. Lapis' eyes shot wide open at my claim.

"What?! That's not possible, Rose Quartz shattered Pink Diamond."

"No, she pretended to be shattered. Her Pearl made herself look like Rose and stabbed the real Pink Diamond, which caused her to get poofed and revert to her gem. The sharps were just fakes."

"So then you helped her! This is all your fault!" She creamed as she struggled to get out of the force field.

"Wait! I'm not Pearl, I'm just in her body!" I shouted as I held out my hands in a calming gesture.

“LIAR!” She screamed.

“Lapis, please stop!” I begged.

Lapis just pounded on the force field completely ignoring me. "Please Lapis, you have to believe me."

"Why?! You just want to use me. To manipulate me!" She screamed. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I looked at Lapis hit the force field repeatedly. This poor girl was forced into a war she never wanted to be part of and turned into a weapon by her enemies. It made me really think about the actions of the Crystal Gems and what they did to her. They had to know that Lapis was alive in there, they had to know she wasn't just some rock. So why did they keep her sealed away? Who would do that to such an innocent person?

A long silence fell over us, only broken by the sound of Lapis’ fists breaking on her magic bubble prison…

Her prison…

I felt a horrible sense of sadness and guilt grab my heart and shake it violently as I continued to look at Lapis before I finally tore my eyes off of her and looked over at Twilight.

"Twilight... Drop the shield." I told her before I looked back at Lapis.

Twilight looked at me with wide eyes before she noticed the tears in my eyes. "Pearl—“ She started, but I cut her off.

"Twilight... please?” I told her, not taking my eyes off of Lapis. Twilight hesitantly nodded before she dropped the shield. As soon as it was down I ran over to Lapis and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry." I told her as I squeezed her in my arms. Lapis went completely rigid as I held her in my arms before she finally let her tears fall from her glossed over eyes. I'm not sure how long we sat there in each other's embrace, but when we finally separated I noticed that Twilight had left.

"Ugh. Ponies apparently can't say Earl. Which is fucking stupid if you ask me." I told her.

"Huh. Ok... Earl, so what happened to you?" She asked.

"Long story short, I went to Comic Con, bought a present for my cousin, and then woke up here."

"... Yeeaaah, I uh... I didn't understand any of that. What the heck is a 'comic con'? And what type of gem is a cousin?"

I sighed as I realized Lapis had no knowledge of Earth or it's inhabitants. I tried to think of the best way to describe those in Homeworld terms and quickly got an idea of what to say.

"Ok, so Comic Con is like a big party where people can be whatever they want. Imagine if an Amathyst shape shifted into a Diamond, and a Quartz shape shifted into a Peidot, and everyone just walked around talking and having fun."

"That's fun?... Why would anyone do that?" She asked.

"To be something they're not. To just let loose and be different, to do it because you can." I explained. Lapis thought about what I said and slowly nodded.

"Ok. So you shape shifted into a Pearl?"

"Nope, I didn't go as anything, I met this guy called the Merchant who sold me a sword, Pearl's spear, and a cosmetic of her gem. When I put the gem on I blacked out and woke up here as Pearl."

"Y-you forcibly fused with a Pearl?" She asked as she leaned back into her chair in fear.

"No, no! Not like that. I bought a cosmetic, it was a fake Pearl made of plastic that I stuck on my head. It wasn't real. It was just a cheap little toy some company in China made to sell people." I explained.

"So... That's not really a Pearl gem?" She asked after she seemed little more relaxed with my explanation.

"It wasn't. But since I came here it became real and made this body for me. As for my cousin, a cousin is like a... how do I describe it?... Ok, so you were made in a kindergarten, right?" I asked, to which Lapis nodded.

"Alright. Anyway, a cousin is like the gem that popped up on the same planet as you in another kindergarten. They're like you, but different. My cousin was named Rose." I told her.

"So she was a Rose Quartz?"

"No, she was just named Rose. Humans aren't like Gems, we can't shape shift, create weapons, or do any of the things Gems can."

"Huh... Ok. So you were originally a 'human' and got turned into a Pearl here. Specifically, the Pearl who had my prison." She stated. I nodded my head.

"That's pretty much the gist of it."

"So, how far away is this planet from Homeworld?" She asked. I shifted in my seat nervously as I thought of the best way to approach this situation.

"I... I don't know Lapis. I don't even think there's a Homeworld or an Earth out there. We're most likely in another plane of reality or another dimension. I'm sorry Lapis..." I told her as I gauged her reaction. Lapis was wide eyed as she slowly slumped into her seat with a far off look in her eyes, staring in the direction of the ceiling as tears started to well in her eyes. She fought against the tears, holding them back as she sat there in complete silence, possibly trying to digest everything I told her. I’m ashamed to say I didn't say anything to help her, what could I have even said?

'Oh, hey don't worry that you'll never see your home again. I won't either and I'm doing just peachy.' And that's the fucking nice thing I could say to her. If I really wanted to rub salt in the wound I could have also told her she was a fictional character in my world. Not that I would ever do that.

Fuck me, all I can think of what not to say. Come on brain, give me some good goddamn advice.

Lapis suddenly stood up and walked over towards the door. "Lapis?" I called out. She didn't respond as she walked outside and took off with her water wings.

red sunset wallpaper

Ch???? _______________

EARL POV

The rain fell heavily on the mountain side as two swordsmen faced off in an epic last stand for the ages, one was an undead monstrosity made of rotting flesh and anger while the other being was a human in a blue kimono wielding a katana in each hand, almost as if they were an extension of his arms.

“Brother!” The abomination in human skin shouted out in anger as the rain grew heavier. His rotting flesh began to fall apart as the rain threw more pressure on his corpse, removing the loose chunks of dead flesh with ease. The human’s eyed narrowed as she looked at the thing that was mascaraing as his long lost brother.

“Wait a moment, you’re not my real Brother!” The human shouted as lightning flashed and thunder cracked in the storm ridden skies, intensifying the scene as he prepared his epic monologue.

“Oh my Goooood this is boring…” I commented as I sunk further into the couch.

“Shhh!” Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Applejack collectively shushed me as they continued munching on their popcorn and stared at the screen, an old cheesy action movie from another Earth playing in front of their eyes.

After going back into my gem for a bit, I found out my pile of kickass loot was put back on their spots on the shelves, so I decided to take all of the cool stuff out and keep it in my house. After I did that, I asked Twilight if they had anything that could play a VHS tape, which they apparently did. Rainbow Dash was there when I asked and offered to hold an impromptu movie night at her place since she had the biggest tv, which wasn’t that big by Earth standards.

Apparently VHS was a pretty new invention in Equestria, so all of their TV’s were big and clunky, but Rainbow’s was the biggest and clunkiest meaning we could watch it on the second closest thing this place had to a flatscreen. We were all watching the last Lonely Blade movie in the collection after binge watching the previous four movies. Unlike the other ones in the collection, this one was actually dubbed in English which, I’ll admit, was somewhat better than the other movies. It was just that the movies were low budget and cheesy, like early 90s cheesy. I’m sure if I watched it as a kid I’d be sining a different tune, praising the movie due to my nostalgia and childhood memories like I did for TMNT Secret of the Ooze and the Toxic Avenger; but since I didn’t feel any nostalgia for these movies they were just bland.

Don’t get me wrong, the plot twist where the janitor was the evil Samurai President in Lonely Blade IV was great, but the sequel to it didn’t really have anything special plot wise. I did like the costumes though, nothing beats practical effects in movies. CGI can suck my now non-existent dick.

“BOOMERANG BLADE!” Rainbow Dash and Lonely Blade shouted at the same time as he preformed his signature move.

“Why isn’t he saying Būmeranburēdo anymore?” Twilight asked for the TENTH TIME!

“It’s been re-dubbed in English, Twilight.” I explained to her again.

“But why? The films were much better with text at the bottom.” She complained.

“Because American’s are lazy bastards and it was the 90s. Now pass over some popcorn.” I told her. Twilight complied and handed me the bucket of salty buttery goodness.

“Both of you shut up, it’s almost over!” Rainbow Dash chastised, not letting her eyes move away from the action scene as Lonely Blade blocked a sword swipe from his fake undead brother.

I looked back at the screen just as Lonely Blade sliced off the obvious manakin’s head and an explosion erupted behind him, causing all of the rain to stop as the screen slowly faded to black.

“Awesome! Now let’s see the next one!” Rainbow Dash demanded. I rolled my eyes and reached into the box of VHS tapes I brought with me and dug around looking for the next movie.

“hmmmmm. Sorry Dash, I think that was the last one.” I told her. Rainbow Dash’s jaw literally hit the floor after that.

“WHAT?! That can’t be the last one! They were finally in a language I could understand!” She shouted.

“Sorry, nothing I can do. Maybe we could watch something else?” I offered before a yawn from Twilight took my attention away from my box. heh. Giggity.

“While I’d love to watch more movies from another Dimension, I think I’m going to go to bed right about now.” Twilight told us as she stood up.

“Yeah, I think ah’ll go too. Need ta wake up bright ’n early tommorrow. Maybe some other time.” Applejack added as she cracked her back and followed Twilight out the door.

“Well, guess that just leaves us.” I told Rainbow before I noticed that she was asleep in her chair and snoring like an elephant.

“Or that just leaves me…” I said to myself as I let out a sigh. It felt weird never needing to sleep and made me feel more… alien than I already was.

“It was thousands of years ago. I was only meant to visit for a short time and terraform sections for Kindergartens, but I got caught in a middle of the war. It was awful! I tried to run but.... I was attacked by a Crystal Gem with a weird weapon. I was left on the battlefield and picked up by a Homeworld soldier, after that, I was confused for a Crystal Gem and used as a tool by Homeworld.

“They interrogated me, ‘Show us your base!’, they’d ask, ‘Where is your leader?’ they’d demand. I didn't know, and I couldn't say I wasn’t not one of them because the mirror didn’t let me. I was left behind near a warp pad back to Homeworld, and there I stayed. Freedom in my sight, but out of reach for ages, until I was found. And even then, I traded one prison warden for another.”

“So… What was it like growing in the ground.” I hesitantly asked. Lapis shrugged as she stared at the Lapis gems.

“I didn’t exist and then I did. It was… Weird. I don’t have memories, just emotions from then. I was made on Homeworld when the resources for new Gems were finally depleting, which resulted in Gems who came out fused together or defective in different ways. I was actually one too, because I was… moody to put it lightly. Emotions are for Gems who work directly for the higher ups like Spinels who make Gems happy, or Peridots who use their anger to drive their competitive spirit forwards. It may be hard to believe but I was too peppy back on Homeworld.” She told me.

“And I know, I know. ‘You? Peppy?’ HA!” She joked, though I could tell there was some pain behind it. “I was happy on Homeworld, looking at our solar system, watching the stars fly across the sky. That all changed during the Gem War. When I was forced into a mirror and abandoned I stared at a different constellation system for thousands of years, each star reminding me how far away from Homeworld I was. Homeworld might have put me in the mirror, but… It’s hard not to have some fond emotions towards Homeworld, I mean… It was my home…”

“I know the feeling…” I said back without really thinking about it.

I was worried I said something wrong when I saw Lapis’ fists clench tightly, but I was relieved when it relaxed after a tense moment and she let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you do know… But, it’s not all bad. I mean, this might not be Homeworld but… It’s nice…” She said as she looked up at the stars in the night sky.

“What about you? What was it like being… What do humans do?” She asked. I took a moment to think about what she was trying to ask before it clicked with me.

“Oh! It’s called being born. Honestly, I don’t remember anything about it, not even the emotions. Though I do know it hurt my mother horribly to push me out, made sure to use that as leverage whenever I didn’t want to do my chores.” I let loose a little laugh as I remembered my mother’s scoldings and praises. “She was a tough one, definitely stubborn, and you could never ever tell her she was wrong, but she was also sweet and compassionate at the best of times.”

“Do… Do you miss her?” Lapis asked.

“I’ve missed her for a long time.” I admitted. “Before I came to Equestria she… She died. Went in her sleep peacefully.” I told her as I held back the tears in my eyes. My resolve to not bawl my eyes out however was completely decimated when Lapis hugged me. I let loose a few few tears as I accepted her hug and returned it with my own arms wrapping around her. We stayed like that for a few minutes before we finally broke off the hug.

“Thanks. I… I needed that.” I told her as I wiped away a tear.

“You’re welcome. I get what it’s like to lose someone important.”

“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that.”

“So, what’s the point of it?” She asked.

“Well, it’s to have something nice to look at. Some people do it because it’s therapeutic, some do it because it’s fun, and others do it to make people like us happy. It’s like… It’s like…. looking at another world, I guess. Seeing places that don’t make sense or do make sense, portraits of strange or normal people doing strange or normal things. It’s nice.” I tried to explain.

“Art… It’s… It’s weird. In a good way.” Lapis said as she continued looking at the paining. “… I don’t really get it.”

“Nobody does, I think. But you don’t have to understand it to like it, right?” I asked her. A few silent moments passed before Lapis responded.

“No. I guess not.”

A painting of Princess Luna on the moon looking longingly at the planet during her time on the moon, the object of her desires just out of her reach.

“What was your art on Earth?”

“Mine? It was mostly fabrications with fabrics; Making costumes, stuffed animals, and some stop motion puppets for a friend of mine.”

“See ya later, Alligator!” I called out to her. Lapis turned around and looked at me with a confused expression on her face.

“Uh, my name’s Lapis.” She tried to correct me as she flew off. I was a little confused by what she said before I connected the dots and face palmed, She had no idea what local colloquialisms were, it was the same as when she thought Steven thought her name was Bob.

Well, it’s gonna be a bitch and a half explaining sayings to her. At least I’ll be able to talk to her more.

“Without the key we won’t be able to open the door. It’s probably magic proof so a lock-picking spell won’t work, and we can’t just blast our way through—“

“I got it.” I said as I finished picking the lock and opened the door.

“How’d you do that?”

I answered by shapeshifting my fingers into several different keys. “It was easy. Just call me Edward Key Hands.” I said as I walked inside and changed my hand back to normal.

“I am the Equestrian Gem… I am the Equestrian Gem…” I repeated as I tapped my pencil on the eighth parchment paper I was using that night. Fucking hell writing a speech for a token is bullshit.

Part of me just wanted to say, “Have booze that can affect a Gem? Hook me the fuck up.” Like seriously, I call bullshit that (Insert Name) just came up with their mantra on the fly like that when they made their Token.

“I am the Equestrian Gem… Equestrian Gem…” I continued to mutter to myself as I struggled to think of something good. “We are the Equestrian Gems. We’ll always save the day…. Nah.” I said before I crumpled up the parchment and threw it into the trash can. After that, I grabbed another piece of paper as I attempted to make a good mantra for the ninth time.

“I am Earl Slaughter, the Equestrian Gem… And… Fuck me why is this so hard?” I asked myself before I laid my head down on the table.

“Okay, let’s try this again.” Grabbing another quill and parchment paper I once again started the tedious task of trying to come up with a mantra. “I always knew that I was bad, now I proved that it’s true, cause I… No.” I preemptively stopped myself again.

“Uh… I’ll always save the day?”

“I am Earl Slaughter, the Equestrian Gem. … I’ll be honest, I do not know if I can help you, but if you call upon me and are willing to fight alongside me if I need it, I will do everything in my power to help you.”

"Girls. This is a Ruby. Her name is Ruby." I introduced her.

"That's right! Ruby-1F4 Cut-4ND!” She said with a salute. "I demand to know my current location and distance from Homeworld."

"Feisty for a short stack." Rainbow Dash commented.

"Yes, and some manners wouldn't hurt either." Rarity chastised. Ruby was about to shout at her before her eyes widened and she dropped to her knees.

"Apologies Diamond! I didn't mean to speak out of term. Please allow me to give you a report and then shatter me if you please." Ruby said. Needless to say, we were all wide eyed at Ruby's declaration.

"Um... It's alright Darling, no need for shattering or anything as ghastly as that." Rarity told Ruby. The red Gem seemed to be put at ease by Rarity's words as she got up and made a Diamond shape with her hands.

"My Diamond, I regret to inform you that we failed in our mission to locate Jasper. I do have good news however. I have confirmed that Rose Quartz is alive, and possibly taking refuge on the dirt planet she and the traitors used as a base of operations. I attempted to stab Rose Quartz so I could bubble her, but she pushed me away and sent me flying into space. After an unknown amount of time, I eventually fell into a black hole and appeared on this planet. That's ends my Report my Diamond." She finished.

"You went through a black hole? And lived?!" Twilight said with a mixture of concern and intrigue.

"Silence Amethyst, I was speaking to our Diamond!" Ruby shouted.

"Ruby! Watch your tone when speaking to my friends." Rarity commanded with a stern tone. I'll admit, it turned me on a little bit.

"Apologies my Diamond! I didn't mean to offend you. Please make my shattering quick." Ruby said as she made the diamond symbol again and closed her eye.

"Ok, ok enough with the shattering talk." I interjected. "And why do you keep calling Rarity a Diamond?"

"Because she has three diamonds on her arm. I've never heard of the three Diamonds fusing before. It's amazing. You look absolutely stunning my Diamond. My Diamonds?" Ruby stated causing Rarity to blush like a little school girl.

"A Diamond? Like the leaders on Homeworld? You think Rarity is one of them?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Of course, I can see her Diamonds clearly." She said as she pointed at Rarity's Cutie mark. I had to admit, I could see his logic since she had no idea what the hell a Cutie mark was.

"Well I'm sorry Darling, but I'm not a Diamond. My name is Rarity Belle. These are my friends Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Pearl Slaughter." Rarity told the Ruby. Ruby had a contemplative look on her face before a smile found its way into her face and she nodded.

"I understand, 'Rarity'." Ruby said and... I think winked? Kinda hard to tell since she only had one eye.

"So, what was it like in a black hole?" Twilight asked as she summoned some parchments and a quill.

"I'm not sure. My body was broken apart and forced back into my gem. I only reformed when I was thrown out. Then I went flying through space until this planet's gravity pulled me in." Ruby explained. All of us winced a bit when she casually talked about her body being ripped apart. Granted, Gem's bodies are made of light but it’d still hurt like a bitch to be pulled like that.

“This doesn’t make any sense…” I mumbled to myself. Eyeball never went into a blackhole in the show, she got back to Homeworld for Steven’s trial and was one of the big bads in the last season.

“I mean… we could bubble her but…” I hesitantly stated.

“But?”

“Well… I just don’t feel good about bubbling her for no reason. Ruby isn’t really evil like Navy was, although she would go on to do some bad stuff in the future… Fuck me this is like Hitler’s Baby.” I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Who?”

“Hitler, basically the worst human imaginable. There’s a philosophical question on if it would be alright to go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. On one hand, you’d save millions upon millions of lives, but you’d be punishing an infant for something they didn’t do and wouldn’t think of doing at that age. Are we allowed to punish someone for a crime they’ll commit later on in the future, or should we let them live and see if they make the same mistakes?”

“Isn’t there something else we could do? What if we tried to befriend her so she won’t become evil?” Twilight asked me. I’ll be honest, Ruby wasn’t really evil in the last season of SU, but she was still a bad guy.

“Alright. If she hurts somebody then we’ll bubble her, hopefully we won’t have to resort to that. I think this might be a good fresh start for Ruby

"What's Baseball?" She asked.

"A game with a ball and a stick. Did you not play it on Earth?" I asked.

"No. We went there looking for Jasper, found her, and then went to the moon base with her, a Pearl, a fusion, a Peridot, and an Alien. We were confused when we saw the Sapphire and Ruby fuse, but the Amethyst pretending to be Jasper said it was alright. And we fell for it! I'm so angry! I can't believe we fell for her lies, and I can't believe I failed at bubbling Rose Quartz!" She shouted.

"Weeeeeelllll... It was actually a good thing you didn't shatter her." I told her.

"How could it be a good thing?! Rose Quartz is the leader of the rebellious traitors! She's a criminal!"

"True. But she has a secret. Rose Quartz isn't a Quartz, she's a Diamond. Pink Diamond to be specific." I told her. Ruby looked at me with a wide eye before she bursted into a furious laughing fit.

"BWAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one! Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond! Ha!" She shouted as she continued to laugh like a lunatic. After about a minute or so of laughing she finally started to calm down and catch her breath. "Oh man, I really needed that. Hehehe. Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond. That's the most absurd thing I ever heard! Thanks again, Pearl." She stated before she walked off, leaving me alone as my eye twitched in agitation of not being taken seriously by that idiot.

Slowly, I closed my eyes, counted to ten, and took a few deep breaths. "Fuck you Pink." I mumbled under my breath.

[img][url=https://i.postimg.cc/5tHDkCSw/Image.png%5b/img%5d%5b/url]https://i.postimg.cc/5tHDkCSw/Image.png[/img][/url]

“It’s just… I’ve been doing some thinking recently about who I used to be…”

“Used to be?” I asked.

“Back when I was working for the Diamond Authority. I was a Lapis, it was my job to terraform planets so the Injectors could be put in. And now, after seeing all of this… I think about how many families I destroyed, how many friends I killed, how many…

Chapter ?: Shatter the Chrysalis.

“Come on, are you not even going to say anything? It looks bad on your part if I get better conversation out of your mindless minions.” I mocked. “Come on, where’s the witty banter, the monologue, the villain song? Give me something to work with!”

“Are you really so arrogant, child?” She asked.

“My god, you can speak! And to answer your question, No Shit.”

“Fascinating. I have never met someone so eager to go to hell’s gates before.”

“Well yeah, I have Real-estate down there.” I shot back.

“Aw, are you mad?”

“Wait, wait! Isn’t this the part where you have a villainous monologue?”

“That’s idiotic.” She replied before she buried her sword inside my stomach, the cold steel splitting the atoms of light that made up my organs as the weapon ran through them with little resistance.

Pain flared through my mind as I felt the chill of the blade inside of me. I felt my body trying and failing to fix the hole inside of me, pushing against the blade in vain attempts to go through the weapon itself. It was so cold, why was it so cold?

In an instant, the pain disappeared along with my mind, and the world around me vanished in a puff of smoke.

Chapter ?: Making a new friend… maybe.

"Oh golly, its you Pearl! Does that mean Pink is here? Can I see her?" Spinel asked me with a desperate smile on her face that broke my heart. Out of all the Gems I had to meet, of course I would have to meet her. God this was going to be harder than breaking the news to Lapis.

"Oh, uh... Spinel, how exactly did you get here?" I asked, buying myself those precious few moments that I could use to formulate a plan of attack. I couldn't just blurt out the truth, I needed to be slow, deliberate, and very, very fucking careful.

"Oh! That's easy! I was playing the Waiting Game with Pink for the past... 5,997 years in her garden. The place kinda fell apart around year 3,560, but I stayed and waited for her! And if you're here, then I must have been playing it right! Oh golly, I was so worried that I wasn't playing right, but now I'll see Pink, and we'll play, and... and..." She continued, trying to fight past the tears swelling up in her eyes. "And we can play games, and I can make her smile, and—“ I cut her off with a firm hug as I kept muttering apologies and reassurances.

"I'm so sorry Spinel, everything's going to be ok. You aren't going to be alone again, I promise." I told her as I let loose a few tears of my own. Spinel went completely rigid for a moment before she completely broke down and wrapped me in a hug with her noodle arms while bawling her eyes out.

"Shhh, shhhh. It's okay, Spinel. I'm here. I'm here." I reassured her as I petted her hair.

"Spinel, I'm not Pink's Pearl. In fact, I've never been anyone's Pearl. Heck, I wasn't even a Pearl when I was born." I explained to her.

"Hehehehe." She giggled. "Silly Pearl, of course you were made a Pearl. Now, when can I see Pink? She'll be so happy to see me!" She yelled as she threw her arms high up into the air.

"Spinel... Pink's not here." I told her. The joy instantly drained from her face as she looked off into space with a frozen expression of surprise.

"Hehehe.... Good one Pearl. So, where is she?" She asked, a little more hesitantly this time.

"Spinel... This is hard for me to say but... First, can I ask you something?"

"S-sure. Just tell me where Pink is and I'll be happy to answer any question! We can even make it a new game! The Question Game, you'll ask a question then I'll ask one. You first!" She said as she boiled me on my nose and giggled. Oh this poor sweet, sweet heaven sent girl...

"Alright... Spinel, I want you to know firstly that, even if I don't know you, I'd like to be your friend." I slowly told her.

"Oh! Of course we can be friends, and then we can play games with Pink and—“

"Spinel, Pink is.... Pink Diamond is... Spinel, I want you to know I'm your friend."

"Yeahyeahyeah, you were saying Pink is—“

"I mean I want to be a REAL friend." I elaborated as I interrupted her. "Friends don't always need to make each other smile. Sometimes a friend can be there so you can just... cry and get it out of your system." I told her. Fuck sakes this was like defusing a C4 in a goddamn minefield. I needed to make sure Spinel knew that she wouldn't be alone without Pink before I broke the news. Last thing I wanted was a return of evil Spinel.

"Yeah... sooooo, about Pink!" She asked giddily with a huge smile plastered on her face. Fuck me I had to break this girls heart because of that bitch Pink Diamond.

"Pink is... she's gone Spinel. Gone gone. She's... She gave up her life to have a child named Steven..." I told her. Unlike last time, there wasn't a noticeable reaction. She was sitting in the exact same position, frozen like a statue with a creepy smile on her face.

"Heh.... heh... G-g-goood... one P-p..." She trailed off as tears once again started to whel in her eyes. Before I could try to comfort her with a hug she forcefully pushed me down and stared into my eyes with a hate filled gaze.

"I don't wanna play your dumb games, Pearl! I wanna play with Pink, forever, and ever, and ever and we'll never be separated again! So Where. IS. SHE?!?!" She shouted an inch away from my face as I swear her head grew a few sizes bigger.

"She's gone Spinel! I'm sorry but she's gone!" I shouted back at her. Spinel had a scared pensive look on her face for a moment before she shook her head and glared at me.

"LIAR! She can't be gone! We-we were gonna play games and--"

"Spinel... Pink left you." I told her bluntly, not that I really wanted to mind you, but, I just couldn't think of anything else to say. She needed to know Pink was a bitch and that Spinel deserved better.

"N-no! We were just playing the waiting game!" She argued.

"Spinel, Pink left you alone on a rock in space and never came back. She had all of 5,000 years to do so, but she didn't. I'm.... I'm sorry Spinel, but Pink isn't the Diamond you thought she was." I told her as I wrapped her in a hug with two arm and formed a third to pat her head.

“no….” Spinel silently said before she poofed in front of my eyes.

To my relief, she didn’t look like the evil version of herself from the movie when she reformed. She had white leggings with pink strips

I listened quietly as Spinel starter to sing her song from the Steven Universe movie about how Pink Diamond abandoned her over 5,000 years ago. Her tone telling me just how broken she was by the whole experience. Here stood an incredibly nice girl who only wanted to make her best friend smile, only to be thrown away like trash by her only friend in the whole universe. She literally existed to be happy and make Pink happy, and what did Pink Diamond do? She left her in a rotting garden for thousands of years, not even bothering to check up on her once.

Pink Diamond betrayed one of the friendliest Gems in the universe and had the gall to call herself a good person. I was torn between feeling sad for Spinel and feeling an unbridled rage towards Pink for hurting her like that. In the end, I settled for a mix of sadness and a small amount of bitter hatred that named away at the back of my mind. That hatred died however as it was replaced by unbelievable heartache when Spinel continued to sing.

Just as I expected the song to end, I was surprised to hear her go on about hearing a message about Pink's technical death. It confused me a bit because she shouldn't have been singing about Steven’s message since A.) the garden was destroyed to kingdom come, and B.) Steven wouldn't deliver that message for at least another three or so years after the series ended. But then I realized she wasn't talking about getting some message from a hologram of Steven. No, she was singing about how I told her. It honestly hurt a little bit that I had to deliver the news to her. But, better a friendly shoulder to cry on than a recording of a holographic message.

“What… What’s my purpose now? I’m supposed to be a friend.” Spinel said as she stared at her hands.

“It’s alright, now. I’ll help you, Spinel. We’ll get through this.”

“It was only six thousand years, I could do that standing on my head.” Spinel joked, trying to make light of her situation. While a smile threatened to split her face, we all saw the pain in her eyes as she clenched them shut.

“Oh…. Do… Do you want to talk about it?” Lapis asked hesitantly.

“There’s… Another one?”

“Yup.” I enthusiastically told the bitch, causing her eye to twitch before she threw up her hands in defeat.

“I saw nothing, I heard nothing, I didn’t even get out of bed this morning.” She said as she walked away.

"Spinel! Put the cookie dough down!" Pearl shouted.

"Nnnnnever!" Spinel screamed back as she jumped out of the window with a bucket of cookie dough in her hands.

“Spinel! I need that to make cookies!”

“But that takes too long! Besides, Cookie Dough tastes better than cookies.” Spinel argued.

“Them’s fighting words!” Pearl shouted as she leapt out of the window.

“You must be Applebloom, you’re probably Scootaloo, so that makes you Sweetie Belle.”

A small smile graced my lips as I saw Spinel playing with the foals, using her arms as makeshift swings for them to play on while her head snaked around her limbs to talk to as many of them as possible.

“Hey Ruby, how have you been?” I asked her.

“Alright, these organics aren’t so bad I guess. Though I’m upset that none of them know what a proper salute looks like. It’s right arm over left arm when referring to one Diamond, left arm over right arm when saluting multiple Diamonds or to fellow soldiers. The only exception is when you can get another Gem to salute the other way so it’s symmetrical. It’s not that hard to get!” Ruby complained. “So, what are you doing here?”

“We’re just here to talk to the princesses a bit and I thought I might check up on you. Making any friends so far?” I asked her.

“Yeah. The earth ponies have good strength for hand to hand combat, while the pegasi are masters of maneuvering around attacks and committing arial assaults, and the unicorns are good for defense and support.” She recapped.

“Well, that’s nice. But what about friends?” I reiterated. Come on, Ruby, I know you’ve had to have made one friend.

“Oh, I guess…”

“Awww, the filly said we’re her friends!” One of the guards shouted loudly.

“If any of you call me a filly again, I’ll shove your food up your other orifice!” Ruby threatened.

“Ruby has been quickly working her way up the ranks because of her skills and abilities.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I asked Princess Celestia.

“She’s gullible, I’ll admit, but she’s not stupid. She may not be a leader, but she is a brilliant tactician and warrior.”

“So, what’s Pearl like?”

“She’s… nice.” Lapis replied with a small smile. “He was my first friend in a long time.”

"It's just... Earl, I need to... the thing is... Would you like to... fuse?" She hesitantly asked.

Fusion? She... she wanted to fuse...

Whoa. I... should we? I mean, it's not really like sex or anything, if it were than Steven fusing with his dad would have some seriously fucked up implications. But it's still... intimidatingly intimate, along with being a little terrifying. Could I really do that, fuse with another Gem? What would it be like? Would I be dead, would anything change between us, did I… Did I want what we had to change?

"Berry, you're my friend, right?"

"Of course! Do you even need to ask? Wait... who's the body and how long ago did it happen?" She asked.

"What?"

"Who'd you kill? If it's a pegasus then we can't dump them in the lake because they'll float, if it's a unicorn we—“

"Jesus Berry, I didn't kill anyone!" I exclaimed.

"Phew. Good. So what's up?" She asked nonchalantly. I just stared at her for a bit before I finally spoke up.

"You… You’d really help me hide a body if I killed someone?" I asked. Berry just nodded her head like I asked her the easiest question on Earth.

"Yup. Wouldn't be the first time." She admitted. I stared at her for a little longer before I just decided to ignore what she said.

"Any waaay. I... I need to ask you something but you can't tell anyone. Ok?" I told her, once again she nodded without any hesitation.

"Alright. I... I might have a crush on Lapis.” I mumbled.

"What? I couldn't hear you." She said. I buried my face in my hands as I spoke.

"I might have a crush on Lapis.” I said a bit louder. I didn't see Berry's reaction but I could hear her slam her hands on the table.

"YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON—“ She started, but I instantly covered her mouth with the palm of my hands.

"Ssshhhh! Do you want everyone to know?!" I screamed at her in a hushed whisper before I took my hands off of her mouth.

"Sorry." She said with a sheepish smile. "I was just surprised. I mean, you don’t seem like the mushy emotional type.”

"Rarity, if I EVER wear a dress, you have my permission o shatter me and turn me into a pair of earrings."

“Darling, I do believe you're drooling." Rarity teased. I panicked and quickly wiped my mouth before I noticed a distinct lack of spit since I couldn’t salivate.

“Oh Har, Har, Rarity.”

“Ooooh. You sound really important.” I teased.

“Hmph. Vermenous Lout.”

“Wow, nice insult, does it come with a free thesaurus?”

“Asking for handouts? Why am I not surprised?”

“Like you’ve ever lifted even a finger to help.”

Chapter ???: Bar Brawl.

Tree Hugger was a fucking saint sent from above. I thought as I felt whatever the fuck we were smoking kicked into full gear.

I’ll be honest, I never thought I’d do weed or any crap like that. cigarets and booze, sure. Weed, absolutely fucking not. Long story short, my dad was a nasty bastard when he was high, and an ever worse bastard when he wasn’t. Fucker would yell, throw plates, and overall throw a damn tantrum over not having weed. If it weren’t for how much of a cunt he was when he was or wasn’t high, I might have taken some weed earlier in life. But, seeing Rich act like that when he was high made me change my way of thinking instantly.

I promised I’d never touch that shit so I wouldn’t end up addicted to him. And before anyone says some stupid shit like, “Ya can’t get addicted to weed.” Allow me to retort by telling you people can be addicted to anything. One fucking weirdo I saw on tv was addicted to eating glass lightbulbs. Glass. Lightbulbs. And then there was this one lady who ate the stuffing from her couch, no joke. When I heard about those two, I was surprised that they didn’t die after a month of eating glass and sofa stuffing respectively. So, if it’s possible for someone to get addicted to eating glass or couch stuffing, than I say it’s absolutely damn possible for someone to become addicted to Weed.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I was high as a fucking kite. I know, I know. It’s hypocritical to call out Rich for being a drug addict when I’m doing… I think Tree called it Timberwolf fur? Fuck it, while I’m on some heavy shit, but the difference is my dad did it because… I actually don’t know. I think stress from working from home on his computer? I don’t care.

Whatever stress he felt is nothing compared to being sent to another world as a magical genderless rock Alien made of light on a planet of colorful humans that call themselves Ponies for some reason. So, I think I deserve to get fucking high on whatever Tree Hugger had. Beer didn’t do shit to my new body, cigarettes can only go so far, and none of the mushrooms I found near the Everfree Forest did anything. I have absolutely no clue how Tree Hugger made a drug that could actually affect me, but if anybody could it’d definitely be someone named Tree Hugger.

I looked over at my god sent savior as she has staring at her hands and mumbling something about hooves. Fluttershy had a dopey smile on her face as she was reading a book. How she was able to do that was beyond me at the moment.

My attention soon shifted to Angel Bunny, who was looking at us all with a disappointed glare. I smiled as I thought of something completely witty and awesome to say.

“Hey… Hey Angel bunny… Do you like birds?’ I asked him. He raised an eyebrow at me before he hesitantly nodded.

“Pffft. Then how do you like this bird?” I asked before I flipped him off with my middle finger.

“Ha! Got you~!” I told him. Angle gave me a deadpanned look and shook his head before bouncing off.

“Noooo. Come back~. You’re so fluffy.” I begged Angel before I flopped down on the ground.

“Hi floor. I loooove you.” I told the floor…. Ok, I’ll admit it, maybe getting high with Tree Hugger and Flutter Shy wasn’t a good idea. Maybe. I was still leaning towards the thought that it was the best idea since condoms.

“hehehe. Condoms…” I said, before I passed out and hit my head against the floor. I’m not sure how long I was out for, but it was apparently long enough that I retreated back into my gem. As I got back out of my gem I noticed that I was still in Fluttershy’s cottage, but there was a distinct lack of high friends in the room with me. I also noticed that I was sitting on top of a book shelf in the living room. My guess was that Fluttershy or Tree Hugger put my gem up there after I passed out.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’ll all be fine.”

“… Alright, I believe you.”

“Really? Cause even I don’t believe me.”

“You guys know this is crazy, right? That you’re all crazy?” I rhetorically asked the others.

“But…” Lapis trailed off as she nudged her head towards all of their hands. I rolled my eyes as I walked over and added my own hand to the huddle.

“But I guess I am too.” I stated as I looked at all of my friends.
“How do we kill something that’s already dead?”

“We try really fucking hard, that’s how.”

I wicked smile split across my face as I watched the living corpse fall to pieces in front of me.

“Oh. Right, zombie killing sword. Deus Ex-Fuckina.” I shouted and I began to thrust Longclaw into more corpses.

You know, they say a lady never kisses and tells, lucky for you fuckers I’m not a lady.

Sex with a Gem is A-Fucking-Mazing. We went at it for hours before I poofed. That’s right, I climaxed so hard I Poofed! Honestly, it was a little embarrassing, it’s like having sex and then shitting yourself when you climax. I’m sure some weirdos are into that kinda thing, but I’m not. Thankfully, Lapis didn’t seem to mind that I poofed and used it to her advantage, allowing me to reform with me head between Lapis’ thighs as she used my gem as a Dildo. Not gonna lie, kinda off putting but also reeeaalllly good.

Title: Huston, We have Spinel

“Hey, Pearl, somethings wrong with Spinel, she’s acting like she doesn’t know any of us.”

I was worried that she hit herself with that damn scythe of hers. I knew it was a bad idea to let her keep it, but she didn’t have a weapon she could summon, and the scythe wasn’t lethal to organic creatures

“Spinel, is everything alright, do you remember me?” I asked, hoping that by some miracle I could jog her memory.

“Uh, yeah? Of course I remember you, Earl!” She said happily. Huh… Fuck me, that actually worked.

“Oh thank goodness. When Twilight told me that you hit yourself with your scythe, I was really worried.” I told her, causing her face to scrunch up.

“What? I didn’t hit myself with my rejuvenator. Why—“

“PEARL!” Applejack yelled as she ran over to us. “What the, Spinel? How’d you get ‘ere so fast, an why do ya look normal again?”

“What are you two talking about? Is this a game or something?” Spinel asked us.

“Good question. Applejack, what exactly is going on?”

“Well, I was on mah farm buckin’ some apples when all’a the sudden Spinel’s gem landed on mah head. When she reformed she looked weird an didn’t recognize me.” Applejack summed up. Before I could

A confused version of Spinel looked at our small group with disbelieving eyes

“W-Who… Who are you?” The new Spinel asked as she looked my friend Spinel. None of us said anything as we looked at her, too dumbstruck to come up with anything to say.

“Dammit, this is confusing! How do you guys usually handle talking to two of the same Type of Gem.”

“Well, we usually go by Cut code to differentiate ourselves, but that won’t work here since they’re probably both the same code.” Lapis told me.

“Great, so what are we going to do?” Twilight asked, prompting Spinel prime to raise her hand eagerly.

“Oh!OH!OH! I can be Twinel!” Our Spinel offered.

“Wait, wouldn’t the new Spinel be the twin?” I asked.

“Well, I think she’ll like keeping her name, so I’ll change mine.”

“Just call me Spine, Spinel, you don’t have to change your name.” Spinel two offered, before our Spinel shook her head.

“Nope. If you’re gonna change your name, then so am I! I’m not going to let you go through any of this alone Spine. Your big sis, Twinel is here to help you in Equestria.” Twinel said as she grabbed Spine’s hands and held them in her own.

“…. What’s a sis?” Spine asked with a raised eyebrow.

Well, that certainly brings a new meaning to loving and accepting yourself.

“You… You do know I’m older, right?” Spine asked, slightly dampening the tender moment before Twinel waved it off.

“Meh. Semantics.”

“But I tried to kill a planet. Why would any of you want me around?” Spine asked in a disheartened tone.

“Because you’re not a bad person, Spine. You did something bad and you genuinely regret it. Tell me, if you had to do it all over again, would you still try to kill the planet?” I asked. Spine actually surprised and slightly worried me when she stayed quiet, debating if she would or wouldn’t try to kill the planet. I expected her to reply instantly, but for her to actually question it was concerning to me.

“… No.” She finally replied. “I just… I don’t understand it. I don’t hate the Earth, I hate Pink. But… I feel… Jealous? angry? What did that dumb rock give her that I didn’t? Why was I not enough? Why did she have to choose either me or the planet? Why couldn’t she have both?” Spine questioned.

“The Earth has its flaws, but it also has beautiful things that you wouldn’t believe.”

“If I had to choose between you and a planet, I’d choose both of you.” I told her as I wrapped an arm around her. “But, I’ll never have to choose, Spine, because I’m here with you, because of my friends.”

Chapter ?

The Gem was someone I didn’t recognize from the show. Her torso was completely concealed by a large yellow cape that looked like a straight up villain’s cloak, I could only see her head, her white boots, and a square red gem in the center of her chest. She had orange skin, a blond afro, a red unibrow, and some kind of Gem tattoo of a yellow triangle on her left eyes.

And speaking of eyes, they were both two different colors. Her left eye had a crimson red iris while her right eye had a golden iris.

“The Renegade Pearl? What are you doing here?” The orange woman asked me.

“Renegade Pearl?” I asked back. I had a horrible feeling I knew where this was going.

“What? Don’t tell me you already forgot about me after our battle. Have you finally cracked your gem or something?” She asked in a condescending tone.

“Ooooh, you mean that Pearl.” I said in disgust. “Sorry, but I’m not her, my name’s Earl Slaughter and you are?….”

“Hessonite.” She responded quickly before looking around the area. The leaves and grass moved gently as a breeze brushed against them.

“So, I’m back on Earth then… Great.” She remarked with a roll of her eyes.

“Actually, this isn’t Earth, this is Equus.” I corrected her. “So, you were on Earth?”

“Equus… Strange, I’ve never heard of this planet. What Diamond Sector are we in?”

“Uh, none that I know of. Soooo, you were on Earth, right?”

“Yes.” Hessonite replied as she continued to survey her surroundings. “I was attempting to retrieve my property before I was attacked and defeated by you.” She said as she narrowed her eyes and looked at me. “You may have had the upper hand with the fusion, the Amethyst, and that lowly human helping you but now you’re alone.” A manic grin spread across her face before, in one swift motion, she pulled out a sword from her gem. It was a straight pink saber with a light blue edge that had a golden hilt with orange tones.

“Wait—“ I tried to stop her but she appeared in front of me in an instant and thrusted her sword at me.

“I flew my ship away from Earth and attempted to make contact with my Diamond in person. Then I could prove to everyone I was perfect! Even if I didn’t come back with my Prism, I could still tell the Diamonds about the Crystal Gems, I’d be a hero. But…” She stopped as she let out a long sigh and lowered her head in shame.

“I was too reckless. I wasn’t looking at the warp tracker and ended up being blasted by a Warp Pad.”

“What? How can you be blasted by a Warp pad?” I asked.

“You really don’t know? Warp Pads send out a signal that warns Gems if another Gem is being warped between planets. If a ship is caught in the warp when it goes from one planet to another… Well, this happens I suppose? I’ve never actually found out what happened to all the Gems who were hit by Warp Pads.” She told me before she looked around us.

“I’m a Nova Commander. If I could have informed the Diamonds about the remaining Crystal gems then I could have been promoted to an elite. I would be respected, I’d get a Pearl, I would get an armada at my disposal. I could have even gotten Pyrope or Demantoid’s Prism to replace the one I lost… And now I have nothing. My ship is throttled, I’m stranded on an unknown planet, and now I lost to a single Pearl. Oh can this get any worse?” She lamented as she buried her face in her hands and dropped to her knees.

“So, what exactly is a prism?”

“Oh, you know. Only the most advanced weapon created by Gems. It’s a weapon that possess the ability to create an almost unlimited supply of warriors to command, armies that can be created in moments and can destroy rebellions within seconds. I was given one to stop the Earth rebellion on Pink Diamond’s colony, before it was stolen from me. Pyrope and Demantoid believed that my failure meant that they would be sent with their prisms to end the rebellion. But, the Diamonds decided that enough was enough, and used their power to obliterate the remaining rebels. Or, at least we all thought they did. Apparently, a small amount of rebels still remained on the planet consisting of an organic being, an overcooked Amythest, a fusion, and Rose Quartz’s Pearl. Speaking of that Pearl, why do you look like her?”

“Uh, don’t all Pearls look alike?”

“A majority of them share similar features, but each is unique in their own way. You have a code that matches hers perfectly.”

“Code?”

“Your cut number, it allows Gems to refer to a specific Ruby, Pearl, or Amethyst. Could you imagine how difficult life would be without it? ‘Ruby, go assist Ruby and her Pearl while Pearl attends to Ruby’s Pearl. Oh, and make sure that you keep an eye on Amythest, she and Amethyst like to sneak off when Amethyst isn’t looking.’ That would be chaos. Anyway, most Gems tend to hide their code from onlookers but will freely give it away when saluting their superiors. However, you’re not hiding your code, and I can see it clearly on you. I only got a glance at Pearl’s once during one of our battle, and it matches yours perfectly. So, what are you?”

Fuck me... If I ever get the ever so brilliant fucking idea to give Spinel coffee, somebody shatter me. It'll be a mercy compared to dealing with an even more hyper Spinel.

In retrospect, I should have known how fucking stupid it would be to give her caffeinated anything, cartoons taught me just as much growing up. But did I listen to the cartoons, nope!

So, my morning was spent in town hall talking to the mayor about all the shit Spinel broke, apologizing about it, and then paying for said broken shit.

“Hitting a corrupted Gem with a rejuvenator is unheard of. I mean, theoretically it could have worked but there’s no real way to know without letting her reform.”

“So why don’t we let her?” Lapis surprisingly asked, causing my head to nearly fly off as I whipped it back and looked at her with wide eyes.

“What?! Why would we do that?”

“I mean, she didn’t do anything wrong, right?” She asked. I was two seconds away from being a complete moron and talking about what I knew, but that would cause them to ask me a fair bit of uncomfortable questions for all of us. How do you break it to your girlfriend that another version of herself went into an unhealthy relationship with a psycho where both of their toxic attributes fermented and created the celebrity of unhealthy relationships where the other version of your girlfriend kinda became a sadist? The answer, you don’t.

“It’s… I…” I struggled to say anything as I ran a million thoughts through my head. Jasper was Ruby’s idol and if she found out about this then I’d kiss that friendship goodbye. But what if Jasper made Ruby join the dark side like she did in the show, I’d have to fight my friend and a mountain of muscle that was hellbent on destroying anything Rose Quartz related, and I just so happened to be a nearly exact copy of the most infamous Pearl in Rose’s army. I also knew I couldn’t use my usual go-to of telling them Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond were one and the same and hope that would sate her bloodlust, since that didn’t even help stop her from being evil at the end anyway.

“Wha…Buh… Huh?” I muttered as I looked at the Gem in front of me. Jasper for better or… worse? Wasn’t a corrupted Gem anymore, so bonus? The only problem…. That wasn’t Jasper.

Four emerald colored eyes looked at me and Lapis dumbly as we stared right back at her. A second later, the Gem raised herself hind arms with great trepidation, her four front arms flailed about as she tried to balance on her foreign appendages before she fell on her butt. I don’t how, why, or what, but somehow, some godforsaken and unholy way, a small Malachite sat in front of us with four wide eyes.

“Is… Is that a baby?” Lapis asked as she gawked at the infant form of Malachite.

“Theoretically since Gems are a form of code, it’s reasonable to consider that fusions and the fusion’s memories are kept in that code as well, requiring both gems to fully unlock and utilize it.”

“Alright, so how is she a baby and why is she Malachite?”

“Well, I believe this has to do with her corruption and Twinel’s rejuvenator.” Oh, reeeaaalllly? “I assume whatever corruption is, it prevents the Gem from getting the code for the base form and memories, so when she reformed it chose the only non-corrupted code available, which was the impartial blueprints for Malachite.” She explained.

So Malachite was probably from Spine’s timeline since hers had a Lapis in it.

“I always did want kids. Well, kid, as in singular. I never pretended I was emotionally stable enough to have more than one.”

“Am… Am I weird?”

“What? Of course you’re not, you’re Malachite.” I reassured her, accidentally telling a dad joke when I didn’t mean to.

Chapter ?????

“Or else…” I threatened.

“Or else what, punk?” Amethyst asked.

“Or else… I’ll say naughty words in front of Steven.” I finished, causing all of the Crystal Gems to summon their weapons and form a protective circle around Steven and Connie.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Pearl shouted at me.

“I would.” I reaffirmed. “Oh booooy, it’s been a long time since I had a nice, hot, sensual, fu—“

“ENOUGH!” Garnet shouted like a bear as she interrupted me. “We don’t need to do this. I’m sure there’s a peaceful resolution to this.” She said.

“Oh, there is. Get off my planet and don’t come back. You Crystal Gems are nothing but trouble, especially you!” I said as I pointed at Pearl.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You and Rose are the whole reason for your stupid war. A war I don’t want my friends and I to be dragged into. Not to mention you kept Lapis locked away in a mirror, you were Rose’s right hand man, and you helped Rose ‘shatter’ Pink Diamond.” I told her, as I made sure to use a small amount of sarcasm as I called Pink “Rose” and said she shattered a Diamond, something that Pearl definitely noticed.

“H-how… What do you know?” She asked me.

“More than your friends do, if they can even be called that. You’re a lying snake who wants to live in some fantasy world that basically caused a war! If you and her just talked to the Diamonds more then your war wouldn’t have happened. But noooo. Rose was told no too many times, and instead of continuing to talk she decided to be a little brat and run away. Not only that, but she thought it’d be a great idea to traumatize the other Diamonds with your little performance. You and Rose are partially responsible for every gem shatter, every corruption, and every death because you two decided to play hero instead of play diplomat.” I told her with clear venom in my voice. Pearl looked at me awestruck before her face slowly contorted to unbridled fury.

“YOU WON’T SPEAK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!” She screamed right before she lunged at me with her spear.

I quickly pulled out a shield from inside my gem and blocked her attack before pulling out my sword and slicing clean through her torso. In an instant she poofed and went back inside of her gem which fell to the ground at my feet.

Once she was dealt with, I leaned down and grabbed her gem before I bubbled it and tossed it over to Garnet. “Catch.” I told Garnet.

Garnet grabbed the bubble with both of her hands and held it protectively against herself, taking a pouncing stance as she waited for me to attack. Surprisingly, Amythest, Steven, and Connie were pretty chill in comparison, though that could have been caused by shock after seeing me poof Pearl so quickly. It wasn’t too hard to de either, her anger made her sloppy and easy to hit.

“Now, get. off. my. planet.” I demanded their defacto leader, Garnet. “I’m not getting myself and my friends get caught up in your stupid war.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t worry um… Pearl?” Steven said as he stepped forward. “The war’s over.”

“No it isn’t.” I told him. “It’s not going to be over until you talk to the Diamonds and settle things with them. Until then, you’re a safety hazard to me and my friends. So, I’ll say this again. Get. The Hell. Off. MY Planet.”

“We’ll leave but… We kinda don’t know how to.” Steven admitted.

“Should be easy enough, this Pearl just needs to take us to her warp-pad.” Peridot suggested.

“We don’t have one.” I told them.

“Yes. While using the warp pad to travel to the desert, Lion activated his portal roar while we were traveling between warp-pads. This resulted in us ending up… What is this planet?” Peridot asked.

“Equus. And I don’t see the problem, just make Lion roar again.” I told her.

“We can’t do that. After studying Lion’s portal capabilities, we have deduced that, at most, Lion can travel approximately 1,979.4 Miles in any direction. So while we were going through a warp stream, Lion caused us to go into a different warp stream which took us to your planet. Since you don’t have a warp-pad, the warp stream must have been caused by something else, and until we find it we’re essentially stuck here.”

“They are NOT staying in Ponyville.”

“Well we can’t just kick them out.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Pearl, where else can they go. Besides,” Twilight leaned closer and whispered to my ear. “We should keep an eye on them. I trust you and the other Gems, but not this group.”

“…. Fine. But they stay away from me and the rest of our friends. Alright, here’s what’s going to happen. This is Twilight, you’re her problem now. Stay away from me and my friends and we’ll have no problems. Good? Good.” I told the Crystal Gems with a fake smile before I turned and stormed off.

Chapter ?: Reunion… yay!

“Spinel?” Pearl asked, finally breaking the heavy silence for a brief moment. Spinel didn’t move a light particle as she stared at the Crystal Gems with a smile plastered on her face.

The tension in the air started to build up slowly as Spinel continued to stare, completely frozen in place.

---Turns out, there's a limit to how much you can put in a blog, a pretty big limit if you ask me. So, I won't be posting the rest unless someone actually wants it.