Taking a break from Misty Morals to work on something that is important to me.

For the past few days, something been bugging me. On Christmas Day, I posted a thread asking for helpfor a story idea, I did state it was related to demisexuality, and it backfired, very, very badly.

You can read my thoughts about that in this blog, if you'd like. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/930845/working-through-emotions-by-writing-feel-free-to-ignore-this

Since then, I've been struggling with my desire to share my experiences, my recent discovery as a demisexual (found out a few months ago, I think? It was a haze of panic and an existential crisis for an hour after figuring it out that how I view the world is a documented, understood thing, and Wait, people find others fuckable just because?), and my way of coping is to understand the nuances of it, and share what I've figured out with others.

I want more people to understand what it is, I want other demi's to be able to have something they can relate to, but I'm worried that the unjustified hate, dismissal, and misinformation I've run into makes this all a moot point and fretting about all of this would detract from my writing, or at least, I feel like it will.

I'm an insecure piece of shit, but that's fine.

I'm going to take a break from writing Misty Morals, I'll be writing down notes though so I have a to-do list of chapter ideas to come back to.

This is so I can work on a story that focuses on demisexuality, the little details of it the technical definition doesn't account for, because I want to put this into words anyone can understand.

I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have.

Comments

[HiddenEntity]

Well, I did some research on demisexuality, and from what I gathered, it means people find those who are close to them emotionally, attractive. I might be the same, but I probably wouldn't bet my life on it.

[LucidDreamer]

I'll be here if you need me.

[Dragonfire2lm]

5424012
There's also a lack of attraction, sexually anyway, I can recognize aesthetics, if someone is good-looking or whatever, I might think they look cool, but there's no Oh no he's hot response or any psychological or biological trigger wherein I'd find someone attractive in the same way everyone else does.

There's a few other things too, but I won't go into it unless you're interested, and there's a lot of videos and articles online too!

[Dragonfire2lm]

5424013
I really appreciate it, this is a big deal to me.

[HiddenEntity]

5424025
So it's more of a slow warm-up to the person, rather than a sudden realization?

[Dragonfire2lm]

5424038
Yeah, with random people on the street, I don't see it, I don't get it, there is nothing attractive about them because I don't know them. But it's not appearance I find predominantly attractive in my boyfriend either. What I find attractive is his personality, the trust I have in him, because of how well we know each other, how well we get along, and that translates as something far more tame than you would typically think, of just wanting hugs and enjoying his company.

Here's an analogy I wrote during the I was invalidated foe trying to understand sexual attraction thread, it may not be perfect, but I think it gets the point across.

It's like everyone else can see a unique colour on random people, and media does adverts and entire pieces of content in that colour and you just... don't see it. You know it's there, but you don't know what the big deal is. You don't care or may be disgusted when everyone else shows it off and wears something in that colour.

And then you find a character you strongly relate to, obsess over, absolutely adore, and find fanmade media of them in that colour... And you can see it, you might see it in a different place or notice it for different reasons, but it's there... And you're ok with that.

Then, you find a person you deeply care about, they know you and you know them at a level deeper than most friendships, you become a couple, and you can picture them wearing something in that colour, you can see yourself wearing the sane thing and it makes you happy, happier and prouder than you've ever been.

That's what being Demisexual is like.

[HiddenEntity]

5424046
I understand now.

[Dragonfire2lm]

5424179
There's plenty of articles and videos online if you're interested in further research.

[HiddenEntity]

5424180
I might do that, I try everything I can to understand the world around me.

[Dragonfire2lm]

5424181
Nice. I admit, realizing I'm demisexual is still new to me, so I might not be able to explain it in regards to it as a whole, and instead rely on my personal experience and just do my best.

[HiddenEntity]

5424183
First-hand accounts are some of the best places to start research!

[Dragonfire2lm]

5424185
True, feel free to PM me if you have any questions, I'll answer as best I can.

[HiddenEntity]

5424188
I will! Hang in there, it'll be alright.

[Dragonfire2lm]

5424189
Thanks.