• Member Since 30th Apr, 2019
  • offline last seen 24 minutes ago

MlpHero


Where headcanon becomes absurd and canon absurder

More Blog Posts2173

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    0 comments · 55 views
Dec
23rd
2020

Pizza Order · 10:38pm Dec 23rd, 2020

Hero waited in his room for a pizza to come. The pizza itself was twenty bits with a soda being three bits. Lucky, Hero had twenty three bits to spare, so he bought the pizza and soda.

Soon, the doorbell rang and he jumped up from the couch and ran over towards the door, opening it. There stood a pony in the usual outfit, but they wore a small necklace with a small celestial idol on it. Hero recognized the sort of religious idol, but didn’t say much on it, until.

“Tip?” the pony asked.

Hero looked up. “Oh. Sorry, I’m out of money right now.”

The pony looked shocked at this. “So you don’t have money for a tip?”

“Not really, I just—”

“You know, it’s kids like you that Celestia punishes for all eternity,” the pony interrupted.

Hero blinked. “Uh... wha—”

“I help you, and you hog all the money to yourself?” they said, now agitated.

Hero stepped back slightly, accidentally knocking over his Straight Ally and Pup Pride flag. The pony gasped and threw the pizza on the ground.

“Hey! What the—”

“You demon! You dare commit yourself to be one of those homosexuals?!” she snapped at the nymph. “You’ll burn in Tartarus with the rest of them!”

“So you’re pissy because I didn’t give you more money?!” Hero snapped. “Greed is a damn sin!” Hero yelled.

The pony looked shocked. “O-Oh my... w-what have I done?!” she screamed and ran off, taking Hero’s money and the soda with her.

“Hey you— Aw...” Hero plopped onto the ground, watching as several ants piled onto the pizza.

Report MlpHero · 102 views · #Hero #Random Pony
Comments ( 30 )

5420868
“I’m hungry now...”

5420870
“Yeah... at least these ants won’t be hungry...”

5420874
Aww, here you go Hero *makes pizza and soda appear, with extra box of cheese sticks* don't listen to that idiot

5420879
“Yay! *nom*

5420878
“Like who?”

5420881
Well, I don't have any money so it was the only other option. You want one'?

Stupid pony. Stupid ants.

5420887
*watches as several other the bugs come and swarm the pizza* “Damit...”

5420886
*Smiles back*

5420887
I can take care of one of those problems

5420888
"Guess that’s fair.”

5420890
Don’t tell Cricket I did this, but... *takes out magnifying glass and cocks shotgun*

5420900
Uh...yeah, sure, the ants...

5420901
*several gunshots and burnt ants later*

Bugs are gone and pizza’s thrown away.

5420903
“Heheh, thanks.

5420905
No problem... I guess.

So who was your delivery pony again? I have a few questions to ask them.

*shows knife and a bag of lemons*

5420911
Yes, only a true avenger brings lemons with his weapons.

5420911
“Like... Celestial Angel or something stupid like that...”

5420913
Ok, good to know.
5420912
It's the citrus in the lemon juice that really get them screaming.

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