Some long-brewing reflections on my most troublesome story. · 5:14am Nov 20th, 2020
Apologies, folks, but I have some thoughts that I need to get off my back in regards to what is easily my most controversial story to date - Wherever You Find Love, my take on the Equestria Girls Holiday Special.
Folks on this site know that the Holiday Special is one of the most controversial stories produced by the comics, if not the most controversial. I won't elaborate on the plot, as I'll assume everyone knows the story at this point, but if you want it, take a look at the details here on TVTropes.
I refuse to be charitable towards this story - it's an Idiot Plot. Characters don't act the way they do because it's in character for them, it's because the plot demands it of them. Perhaps this was due to the story being a rush job, with the comic getting a hasty rewrite to accommodate what was established in Rainbow Rocks, but we may never know for certain. Regardless, it's still a poor story. And yet, when I started serious work on the Quiververse, I was convinced that I had to address this story and try to finesse it into my storyline. I presumed that I could somehow fix this story...and I'd argue that in some ways I did, but in other ways, I didn't.
First, my attempts to fix it involved changing it's place in the timeline. As I've stated many times, I deliberately shifted things so that the story took place between the first two films, rather than after the events of the second one. I felt my logic was sound on this - the idea that the HuMane Five could believe that Sunset would backslide at that point seems far more plausible than her backsliding after the second film, if only because the wounds left behind by her actions would still be raw and they would be understandably wary of her. It's been decades since I've interacted with anyone from my time in school who bullied me or treated me like dirt, and I doubt I'd ever want to interact with them in any capacity, let alone be inclined to forgive. Let go and move on, yes, but certainly not interact or forgive. I don't regret making that change, or shrinking the timeline to the span of a week...and I certainly don't regret having the Human Crusaders publicly come forward to reveal their scheme (or the involvement of other students). On these points, I thought - and still think - that I made the right decision.
Unfortunately, I fear that the same things that hurt the original comic hurt my take on the story as well. I rushed to get this story finished in time for a release before the holiday season, despite starting several months ahead of time. I didn't think things through, nor did I consider the full ramifications of what I was writing. Yes, the HuMane Five realize their mistake on their own, and apologize, but doing so did nothing to really address the underlying issues - the fact that they were so easily ready to toss Sunset aside at the slightest provocation. What acknowledgement I had of those issues was shallow at best, and that ignores the issues created thanks to my own original elements. I all-but-outright stated at the end that Principal Celestia had cloned the cell phone that she'd given Sunset at the end of Six Nights (and a Day) With Sunset, so why didn't she intercede on Sunset's behalf, beyond some general assurance to the staff that Sunset wasn't the guilty party? I fear the influence of J. K. Rowling and her portrayal of Albus Dumbledore was too strong on me at the time, and I'm glad that with time, I've moved away from writing as such.
I find myself thanking Final Legend Zero for many of this comments and thoughts regarding this story, as it helped to shape my efforts on A Shimmering New Year, though I'm of a mind to think that, had I been thinking clearly and considering things better, the latter story may not have even been necessary. Were I to write Wherever You Find Love now, well, there are several possibilities.
The first is that the HuMane Five would confront Sunset about what happened after the second secret had been released, and straight-up asked her if she was behind the Anon-A-Miss account. Their body language and actions would make it very clear that they are doing this with great hesitation and discomfort, enough that anyone could tell. Sunset would straight-up tell them 'no'...and Applejack would lay a hand on her shoulder and say, "Then it's a good thing Ah believe ya," with the rest of the group falling in line. Sunset could still end up accosted by the rest of the student body, perhaps even attacked, with one of the others falling into the same line of fire, and the Crusaders could consequently realize that things had gone too far, but at least the HuMane Five wouldn't abandon her over circumstantial evidence.
The second, one that has its roots firmly in my works, goes similarly. Regardless of whether or not the Manes abandon Sunset, the whole group could be summoned to Celestia's office, where she reveals some evidence of Sunset's innocence - the cloned phone, and the activity shown therein. I know from real life experience that one can post to social media from either a cell phone or a computer, and figure a cloned phone could have a copy of whatever activity is done on the original. The first post could easily be ruled out, and evidence could be presented that while the photos from the second likely did come from Sunset's phone, she wasn't the one to post them - someone downloaded them from her phone and moved them elsewhere. Should they choose to stay by her side, this would validate their faith in her. Should they initially abandon her, however...well, it would lead to a lot of drama, as well as the chance to get at the meat of what should've been in there in the first place - the question of whether or not they truly had forgiven Sunset, or would have given her a chance had it not been for Twilight Sparkle's encouragement (or even if they saw her as a replacement for Twilight).
If the HuMane Five did abandon her, however, Sunset would still be isolated. Celestia and Luna would definitely seek to comfort her, but they could only do so much, and I'd want to have someone in the student body to rise to her defense. The likeliest candidate is Vinyl Scratch, as she'd already shown herself the most willing outside of the Manes (and Flash Sentry) to give Sunset a chance, though Lyra Heartstrings is a potential second choice...though going with Lyra would create drama all it's own, and raise the question of whether or not she's doing so to help Sunset, or to further her own ends regarding digging up more information on Equestria and Sunset's connection with it.
Regardless, the Crusaders would be forced to reveal their actions, and receive punishment for them. Lessons would be learned, and characters would walk away battered and hurt by it. Would Sunset forgive what the Crusaders did? Maybe. Would she forgive the HuMane Five for abandoning her, or thinking the worst of her? She'd certainly understand their reasoning, but whether she'd forgive them is another matter entirely, and I'm not certain that she would. I know that I wouldn't. But Twilight would remain in her corner...and I wouldn't have what was effectively a suicide attempt on Sunset's part in the story, as I've since come to think it was too much glurge on my part.
In review, I find myself with complicated thoughts on the story. I think I did some things right, though I know I made a lot of mistakes with it. I honestly hope that I've learned a thing or two, however, so overall, I think it was worth it. You gotta stumble sometimes, after all, and hopefully you stand up a little straighter afterwards.
It's a hard thing to look back on your work and feel that you made mistakes, but on the other hand, as you say at the end of this piece, you feel that you've learned better and that the overall effort was worthwhile. So I think that's good, and I do agree - you gotta stumble sometimes.
And I will also add this. Wherever You Find Love is still one of the ONLY stories to do with that lousy premise on this whole site that I can actually stomach reading and find enjoyable in full. There was a new rash of Anon-a-Miss fics a few weeks back, and their various premises are so fucking stupid (one of them was a crossover with Christine, for Christ's sake!!) that it made my mind boggle, and also marvel that you were actually able to make a decent story out of the idiotic premise of the original comic.
(Sometimes, I must admit, I get the niggling temptation to throw my own hat into the ring and write my own story pertaining to this whole "Anon-a-Miss" fustercluck. I got two ideas. One's a straight-up pisstake, and the other one is a bit more serious. But I also feel like, whatever I did, it'd be contributing nothing of worth, given the source material - or the type of audience it usually attracts - so yeah...)
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I looked at some of those, and boy is this genre full of silly ones. I should know; I wrote a fair few of them, after all!
However, I do agree that Wherever You Find Love and its sequel are amongst the few plausible AaM stories, which I think is partly due to it being moved to straight after the 1st film. Everybody being suspicious of Sunset makes perfect sense.
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I agree, a lot of Anon-A-Miss stories are flat-out insane. I'm all for people flexing their creative muscles, but there comes a point where enough is enough. I take great relief from the fact that I kept mine grounded.
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Thank you.
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No problem.
While the mistakes clearly show a few of them arguably aren't mistakes at all. Them being willing to toss Sunset aside for example. While your acknowledgement may have been shallow we are talking about teens. You know, the time in the life of a human where they are going to be their most shallow. It is when we are the most vulnerable to a great combination of shortcomings. Their actions, as the story is currently written, is a great reminder that the characters you are writing about are still teens. I've seen examples of tight knit groups of teens having massive falling outs over less than what happened here in this story. If anything I view this specific issue as a positive on the story rather than a negative. It is a clear example that they are still growing as individuals. They have yet to find their true selves though they are close.
The fact is that the group could have easily gone either way in regards to Sunset given the scenario as you presented it the moment Sunset walked into school and ran into her friends. They could have just as easily told Sunset that we needed to talk instead of blowing up in her face. The relevant thing is that when you took it the direction you decided to go with it you made it a believable scenario. With some of the other things you mention you are absolutely right in that they were mistakes.
Case in point. This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the story myself. I tried to read Rowling's series when it first came out. I couldn't finish the first book. It just didn't grab me. I do fully understand falling for a character and wanting to project that character into a story of your own though. That said, I still can't rationalize this. You took Dumbledore and overwrote Celestia's character with him. Yes, things like this happen in real life too but none of the qualifiers that make it plausible fit in this scenario. The school isn't over crowded and poorly funded, the staff isn't stretched too thin that they can't handle what is going on and Principal Celestia isn't that ignorant or incompetent. Yes, she becomes that when magic gets involved but that is a different matter entirely. There is one major problem though.
That scene where Sunset is stopped by Princess Twilight at the last moment is an amazingly well written scene on the whole. There are a few small things but the buildup to the moment was great, as was the moment. Genuinely, it is the scene that I fell for you as a writer. Everything up to that point had been really good but there had yet to be that moment that really got me. That moment doesn't come about if corrections to Celestia's actions are made short of one specific scenario. That things had devolved so quickly that Celestia couldn't react in time. The problem is that from their incident to Sunset being stopped by Twilight is, at least, one entire day. She had the time and resources to react and I think she would have.
As was said by Scholarly Cimmerian, this is one of the very few pieces that manages to take a disaster and turn it into something even worth reading. That is a serious accomplishment. Were it so easy to do there would certainly be more such stories on the site. It certainly has its flaws but it also has a few moments that it shines.
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I'm going to take it as a good thing that I have fans dedicated enough to argue otherwise when I feel I've messed up. Thank you.
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I think a lot of it is fanfiction fueled by fanfiction. The Flanderization is pretty strong in many fandoms, and MLP is no exception, and so after stories like Dain's Anon-a-Miss story, the idea that the students at CHS would ambush and beat up Sunset became pretty common, even though in the actual comic there was no violence directed at Sunset beyond a single shove, which may even have been an accident given how vague the comic is about it.
There's also things like the humane 5 rejecting all evidence that Sunset isn't Anon-a-Miss, even though in the comic the girls were already convinced by Sunset the moment she confronted them in the diner, with the CMC only confirming her story. Or that the CMC went and confessed when they saw what it was doing to Sunset, rather than making things worse.
Big warning signs are usually an overabundance of red tags in the summary. That's usually either a story where the author screws up the drama way past eleven, or a bashfic where the author wants to bash the characters for imagined crimes against Sunset.
My own worst pet-peeve with Anon-a-Miss stories is having Twilight be absent from helping Sunset, usually with some contrived "oops, we were away and I forgot the book!" excuse. Twilight being there for Sunset and supporting her was one of the few good things about the comic, but being there for Sunset would mean Sunset would not do whatever extra dramatic action the author wants Sunset to take, and so Twilight has to exit the stage and not read the diary until the time has come for Twilight to be enraged with the humane six. In that light, your story was a breath of fresh air in that there was a good reason for Twilight not to be there, and made even better by replacing her role with Celestia and Luna, whose absence in the comics is something I find one of the biggest flaws with it.
The "Anon-a-Miss" comic story has long been one of those... controversial stories. And I agree, several of the takes on it are ridiculous with how dark they go.
You, however, did a good job on it.
Note to self... one of these days, I need to try and do my own version of the Anon-a-Miss story; I have a draft in the works, but I've been busy with a lot of other stuff. The short version is that from the beginning, the Mane Five don't believe Sunset is responsible for the account; they correctly suspect that someone else has a grudge against her and wants to ruin her friendships, so they decide to play along - publicly shunning Sunset, though not directly accusing her - in part because they hope Anon-a-Miss will back down if they think they've succeeded and in part because they'll be looking for clues to the culprit's identity, including watching everyone to see who reacts positively to seeing this shunning. After they catch the ones behind the account, they explain everything to Sunset (including how they didn't tell her what was really going on because they didn't want her to inadvertently give away the act) and apologize for ignoring her and hurting her feelings. Meanwhile, Sunset bonds with another student who also believes she's innocent, and they and a few others get caught up in an event that kicks off a separate plotline; this new arc will serve as the focus of the story after Anon-a-Miss is dealt with.
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
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I agree, Sunset needed some form of support in the comic, and I'm glad that she at least had Twilight. And thank you for the kind words. Those are always welcome.
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Thank you. And that does sound like a good premise, and certainly a better one than the original comic.
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To be fair, the story can make the "humane six suspect Sunset" angle work. You just have to put more emphasis than the comic did on how Sunset used tactics much like this to drive the student body apart, and had done so for four whole years at the least. That's a lot of time for a lot of scars to build up that don't just heal overnight, especially for moody hormonal teenagers.