Doomsday · 3:21am Nov 4th, 2020
Confession time: I haven't exactly been doing well lately, at all. Around here, I'm probably already known as the person who can't stop talking about politics all the time, and for a reason I guess. (Hello to all the people I've argued with here, I bet you're feeling pretty good right now)
It has really really bothered me so much, always gnawing at the back of my mind, draining all my energy. Politics is like a Sword of Damocles always hanging over my head, threatening to plunge me into a pit of depression. I've tried to compensate for this by being educated and informed on the issues at hand, but that only helps so much when the county is going to hell in a handbasket at 150KPH.
This election is going to kill me I swear to god. I'm more nervous and anxious and full of despair than I've felt in so damn long. Florida is basically guaranteed to go for Trump this time thanks to reactionary Cuban immigrants afraid of socialism from Joe Biden. Joe Biden, the very image of socialism in America, obviously. These people can't let go of the damn Cold War already. And now NC, Georgia and Ohio are also going Trump according to NYT. We're doomed.
How the fuck do people stay calm and keep themselves together in times like these? I really, really want to desperately know. I know we won't know the full results until like a week from now when all the mail in ballots have been counted, but if Biden is doing this badly in Florida it doesn't bode well and I'm betting Trump wins tonight. I'm scared and I'm hopeless. I don't know what I'll do if Trump wins, I can't live in an authoritarian hellscape. I won't be able to take it anymore. After Trump committed so much corruption and mishandled so much in just the last 4 years, just imagine what he'll do next. There's no accountability, no responsibility for him. He'll walk away from his crimes against America scot-free and continue our dark descent into authoritarianism. We're gonna join Hungary, Poland, Russia, Turkey, and Brazil as their democracies backslide.
I wish I could stop caring sometimes! I wish I could stop caring and then it wouldn't hurt so damn much when my country that I once loved continues to hurt itself over and over and over and everyone still suffers!
Please, I don't want arguments here, I just want to know how to stay sane. I'm at my wit's end and don't know what to do. No matter what happens I need to get out of this country, it's a like a cancer on my mental health, but I'm not equipped to do that at all. So I'm stuck between two impossible options, with no escape in sight.
Have to be honest....
Perhaps it's time for a new way of approaching the world?
Why keep subjecting yourself to a way of thinking that leaves you full of anxiety and grief? You don't have to keep approaching the world this way.
I'm saying this because you seem like a genuine person, and you remind me of how I kinda used to be.
Because everyone I know--you included--who has let the state of the world dictate their emotions has been miserable this year.
Meanwhile those who bet on themselves and took full responsibility of their emotions--and yes, I'm also talking about myself here--have made 2020 their best year ever.
Maybe Trump wins. Maybe he doesn't. But do you really want your emotional state determined by an orange dipshit?
5391776
I've tried to change the way I think about it, believe me. But I can't stop caring about everyone in this country who continues to suffer and get hurt by what's even going on here. America really could have been that shining beacon on the hill that everyone looks at as a bastion of freedom, but we blew it. I've tried to just focus on just myself and my life, but it doesn't last for long. That's why I think I have to get out here, so it won't be on my mind constantly and I can just focus on my own life.
2020 would have been one of my best years ever if wasn't for this bullshit. Like my life was actually on track for once and now everything is crashing down.
What makes you say that?
5391788
...shit are you me?
I’ve also tried to stop caring about others and only look out for myself but I just can’t seem to do it.
5391788
For context, I'm naturally a very self-centered person. When I was a teen, I'd mostly care about my own well-being and that of my family. But in my late teens/early 20s, I started caring more about the world... and it honestly left me miserable, because the state of the world would determine my emotional state. I was no longer in full-control of my emotions. The world was. Which is such a recipe for anxiety and suffering, and what you are going through.
The past couple of years have been a return to form for me. I still care about the well-being of others, as evidenced by me taking the time to talk to you here. But to honest (since honesty is basically my gimmick at this point)... as long as I'm doing awesome, I don't see any reason not to feel great, even if things don't look that good worldwide. My life matters most to me.
Besides, we survivied 8 years of Bush where 200,000+ civilians in the Middle East died from the Iraq War. Despite being a LGBT brown dude, I see no reason not to be optimistic as fuck for the future. I even have blog posts explaining why.
Honestly, you could get out. You're not obligated to stay in a place that makes you feel miserable. I'd do the same if I hated my home. I don't see why your number one loyalty shouldn't be toward yourself. Do what you feel is right for you.
Just don't make any sudden impulse decisions in a bad emotional state like tonight. I don't want to hear how you packed everything up and are living in France tomorrow morning haha.
5391805
I guess we're two of a kind. I just can't look away from what's been going on... you can join me in despair I guess.
5391820
I just don't know how to stop though. God knows I've tried over and over to try to focus on myself. How did you change your way of thinking?
I just can't see much reason to be optimistic, given what's been going on. Inequality, global warming, growing authoritarianism, they all keep getting worse and worse...Especially as an LGBT person, Trump has not made things any easier for us at all and now my healthcare is very much up in the air with zero chance of real reform if and when Trump wins
Unfortunately, I can't do that yet. Like I said, I have no real way or plan to support myself in another country, but I can't exactly stay here either. I know it's what I should do, but I just don't know how. I'm in college and don't have many skills...
By reading about Canadian asylum laws.
Oh, and, as River reminds me, support ponies.
If you're awake at 6:30am EST, it's still Biden's election to lose. MI and NV are very likely Biden given the uncounted votes, so if he gets WI and AZ he doesn't even need PA, GA, or NC. He's likely to get PA at any rate and Trump almost can't win without PA.
Biden has about a 75% chance at this point even given the current numbers, but it will be a day or two before we know. Trump has legal challenges, but no standing to challenge mail-in ballots that were turned in yesterday but not yet counted, which is the wide majority of uncounted ballots.
5391896
I do support ponies! I write about them and purchase plushies. :V
5391868
For me, it was just a positive feedback loop that I had to let happen before my thinking changed on its own. Kind of like how even a few months into eating healthy, you'll have cravings for eating junk. But two years into lifting and eating well, you'll barely think about junk and instead be looking forward to your next workout. I just started focusing on myself and had less time/energy to care about the world. This made me feel happier and improved my life, so I started putting more energy/time into myself, and thus naturally gave less attention to the world. I never forced the change.
I still sometimes start to care more about worldwide things outside my direct control again, but since it causes me to feel bad, I just take my mind off it and stop. Kind of like how you learn to stop eating certain foods that make you feel miserable afterward. I just listen to my body and the signals it gives me, though it's muuuuch easier now than when I first started.
I'm optimistic because I pay attention to trends and not year to year stuff. Using LGBT rights for example, we already won lol. Most of the country supports it; our generation is in full support of it, and our kids will support it even more. That isn't true for every issue (like global warming), but it's not like many of those issues are in your direct control anyway. You are not to blame for any of it, and you are not obligated to carry the burden of the world's problems and feel miserable.
Also, as an avid history nerd, these issues are still trending better with the exception of global warming. Let's not forget that the 1970s/1980s were faaaaar more authoritarian than now. I'd wager the US was *much* worse too with good ol' Reagan. I 100% prefer the world now than just 40 years ago when the Cold War was looking scary.
That said, here's a blog post about why I personally love 2020: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/911500/2020-is-the-best-time-to-be-alive
Just to make sure, you're talking about your own health insurance, right?
In case you haven't heard, Oregon just became the first state to decriminalize all drugs. So if you need a little dose of happiness... then you and me should take a little trip there together
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Before I respond individually, I'd just like to thank you all for responding. I did not expect this kind of a response at all, since I'm not exactly well known, and I don't even know most of you well or anything.
I made this post cause I needed to get it out of my head and figured it would go mostly unseen.
5391912
I do love plushies.
By now, WI and MI have gone to Biden, so that's...something at least. The polls were off by like a mile in those states, and just across the board in general!
PA is looking extremely close, it's basically a tossup at this point. I'm also extremely worried about Nevada, which Biden should have clearly won, but now it's a hair away from a Trump victory there. If Trump gets Nevada, Biden can't win without PA, NC, or GA, and his chances in NC and GA are not good at all.
5391896
I seriously doubt my situation would allow me to apply for asylum. More deserving people should use that system, anyway.
I'd have to immigrate normally, which is a nightmare for someone like me with no family there, or advanced skills or education yet.
Though, thank you (and River, indirectly) for the ponies.
5391891
Thank you River, I appreciate it. My mind just goes and runs with the worst possibilities, and it gets much worse when those awful possibilities start to come true, like right now! I'm trying to tell myself that I don't know what will come next, but things just look very bad right now for the future. I think Trump will win and I might crash and burn if he does. Forcing myself to stay focused on the present day is a struggle. I'm just terrible at following my own advice, huh?
The worst part is that I can't do that. I'm so occupied and I've been oversleeping so much because of insomnia and stress that I need to spend most of my free time doing unexpectedly demanding college work; and I probably shouldn't drop classes even if my mental health is this bad. I kinda want to just drop it and do stuff for myself, but I have to keep my future in mind.
I have no future without my education.
5392042
That makes some sense. I've taken entire months where I don't look at politics at all, but it always draws me back in, one way or another. I did a pretty good job of it this spring and summer when Covid-19 and the protests and riots were raging, as well all the political drama on Fimfiction itself that I returned just in time to participate in. It didn't threaten my mental health as much. But then the election started ramping up, RBG died, and everything went straight to hell. And then it got even worse as some of my worst fears about the election came true right in front of me, sending my anxiety through the roof. There's always something that draws me back in.
I know I can't care about everyone in this country and in this world, but it's hard not to sometimes. Sometimes I get on a roll and really focus on my own issues, but something always comes by to sabotage it.
As for LGBT issues, we may have public support, but there's far more to it than that. It's incredible we've gotten so far in so little time, but to act this way is complacent. Trump and the GOP have still shown a clear anti-LGBT agenda, with many Obama-era protections erased right in front of us. In particular, the transgender population is at risk after being targeted by conservatives lately.
The one I'm most worried about is women's rights, which are clearly threatened like they haven't been in decades, after the GOP's blatant power grab in Supreme Court and federal courts! Even if Roe remains, there's a ton they can do in court to restrict our reproductive freedom, as they've shown in countless southern states. God forbid, if Casey goes down, it's open season on all women.
But the biggest reason to be pessimistic is the HUGE issues that are eating away at us that we can't fix with anything less than a Democratic trifecta at a minimum. People go bankrupt regularly from healthcare, housing is our of control, higher education is obscenely expensive and gets worse by the day, lower education is in dire need of reform and is underfunded. And our elections, sweet mother of god our elections are in a state of extreme corruption and decay. Gerrymandering is rampant, the Senate is a relic of a bygone age, and the Electoral College has proven to be an abomination of an election system.
There are enormous pressing issues, and nothing can be done without extreme measures.
Hey, as time goes I'm something of a history nerd too. It's been really scary looking back in history to decipher how we got into this mess.
Yeah, Reagan was bad, I'd say he was worse than Trump, and Republicans think he's Jesus practically. No other person is more responsible for the current state of the Republican Party. Yes, back then we were more authoritarian, but we were trending in a positive direction overall. After the Cold War, we should have been home free. We're doing that anymore. This slow authoritarian shift did not start with Trump, but he has certainly made it far worse. We're trending downward sharply, with the rule of law under threat and our very elections being blatantly jeopardized. There are experts in democracy and authoritarianism constantly ringing the alarm bells that we're going in a very dangerous direction under Trump, and for good reason. On the Democracy Index we've declined from a "full democracy", down to a "flawed democracy", and that really hurts.
Both my own health insurance and for the country as a whole. My current insurance is mediocre to good and I still get some ridiculous bullshit. Trying to understand how prescription drugs are priced is particularly maddening.
Well, congratulations to Oregon, that's genuinely incredible! As far as I know, Portugal is the only other place to do that. My state has seriously dropped the ball on legalization efforts for some reason.
I'm not normally the kind to do drugs, I don't even get appeal of alcohol really, so it might say something about my mental state that I have half a mind to take you up on that.
Just let the world fade away...
5392335
Likewise, but looking at it for a few minutes helps to quiet my inner doomer.
5392343
I have no idea how the immigration process works for Canada, but apparently they're rather stringent despite their reputation for taking in tons immigrants and refugees. Let's doom together. Doom doom dooooooom.
If Blue Georgia actually happens somehow and remains on the final election map, I will celebrate like mad and post it here.
5392335
Really well put. 18 year olds going into $100k+ debt for college is utterly insane, and our healthcare system and money in politics are even worse, which was why I was for Bernie. To be honest, I agree with all the political issues you raised. You are definitely right to be concerned and want to act. Just try your best not to let it eat away at you haha
As a pharmacist, I can assure you that it's definitely maddening haha.
In all seriousness, I'm glad because I want the war on drugs to end. It's ruined enough lives.
Curious, which state do you live in? I live in NYC.
And that is why you definitely should not go to Oregon right now haha. Though if Biden wins and you're in a better mental state, you know who to call
5392392
It's stuff like this that makes wonder how any sane young person could vote for Trump. They're the ones dealing with the housing and college and medical debt. Trump's 50+ voter base don't have to worry about rent and student loans.
I was a Bernie voter in the primaries, but switched to Biden strategically. I don't like him exactly, but a vote isn't a love letter. It's what Bernie would want. Biden's platform is at least a little more progressive than you might think anyway, if he sticks anywhere close to it. There's been a lot of pressure from the progressive wing of the party. If Biden wins we got some progress at least, and if Trump wins, we get the opposite of progress.
I don't think I should say it publicly. But seriously, the war on drugs is one of the stupidest things we've ever done as a nation, by far. Thanks Nixon, Reagan, and Clinton.
It makes no sense at all. Trump tried to address the issue with an executive order of all things. Like seriously, what the hell?!