I write about griffs. (♀ | Timezone: UTC + 1 | Discord)
Pokémon are appearing all over Equestria. With the help of some new friends, the New Mane 6 are determined to find out why.
It's called All the Smallest Things. Why am I not posting it on Fimfiction right away? Well...
I originally joined to participate in A New World, a New Way just as it was starting to die, but ended up getting into a lot of non-crossovers as well. I still think my standout fic is Silent Wings; while I had to rush the last two chapters, it helped me break a lot of new ground. My interest in My Little Pony has phased in and out over the years, and I don't use this site as much as I used to.
I started doing YouTube Poops a few months ago, but this is my first My Little Pony one.
I just need someone to beta-read it. Here's another sneak peak:
Moony raised her head. “Pleeease can you let us in? Pretty please? We need to do something important!”
“How important?” asked the hippogriff.
“It’s super, duper important!” Moony continued. “See, we want to find out—”
“I’ve heard you have the most accurate historical records on the continent,” Sol interrupted.
Michelle is an ordinary teenage Pokémon Trainer participating in a tournament that's being broadcast on live television... until something unbelievable happens to her that shakes the world.
Yesterday, I hurried to finish Silent Wings because I thought the deadline for the Depth in Innocence contest would be as soon as the 1st of July began in Mountain Time. Turns out that there are 23 hours left. I want this fanfic to be as good as possible, so if there are any minor improvements you want me to make, please let me know.
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I suppose you could have spent a little time with Silverstream before she showed up yelling "TERRAMAR". Maybe giving a little more insight into her thought process while deciding to apologize. Sorry, that's the best I can come up with.
5298564 Good point. I’ll make her apology longer.
I couldn’t elaborate upon her thought process that much, though, because that part of the chapter is from Terramar’s perspective.
Maybe a short and sweet epilogue or something of the sort. The story is fine as is but if you want to add stuff then by all means do it, you are the writer.
The only minor adjustment I'd suggest is Silverstream seemed to lose her temper far too quickly during chapter four's lunch. Since the whole sequence is from Gallus's perspective, maybe have him zoning out and then suddenly snapping back to attention when he notices Silverstream throwing a cup at Terramar or something.
5298900
Unfortunately, it's past the contest's deadline now, but I can still make changes even if GMBlackjack won't see them.
5299154
Eh, don’t don’t sweat it then. What’s done is done for the contest’s purposes. I if course go back to my own olde works and tweak them often, but every author is different. Cyriak, one of the most talented animators on YouTube, is famous for his declaration “I never watch nor even think about a video after uploading it. The past is the past.”