When big problems happen, big changes follow. That's life. · 2:55am Jun 20th, 2020
Yeah... you see that title?
I mean that seriously.
A... few things happened today. I realized that I would actually be better off dead than not- I actually present a danger to both myself and everyone around me, particularly my family, right now.
That does not make for a suicide risk, because I don't want to hurt them, and no matter how much of a danger I can be to them, my death would devastate them and I'm nowhere near that.
This time, though, I've got about $2800 in the bank... which means, this time, I have the power to do something about it.
That something I'm doing about it? A lifestyle change.
I've been lazy. Procrastinating everything, spending large amounts of time playing KSP or writing On the Implications of Parallel Worlds when I should have been repairing the roof, or the like. I had lots of time to write. Lots of time to play. And every interaction with anyone else in my family was tense, at best.
Not anymore. I need to become a self-made man.
What this means is thus:
- I will be treating my own home like a workplace. I'm here to work on it, and improve it, somehow. Not to play, not to write.
- My computer is off-limits, except for essentials. (And this post, because I care about you.)
- ALL of my stories are on a temporary hiatus. Yes, even On the Implications of Parallel Worlds... though I have a backlog on that one already uploaded through Chap. 35, and I will be logging on periodically with my iPad, so you likely won't see any break in the weekly publication schedule. I don't expect it to take a full two months to get myself in order.
- And of course, anytime there isn't something to do at home (which may include eat & sleep), I need to be doing something out of the house. Whether it's delivery driving with DoorDash, or rideshare driving with Uber, or working at the new job I have starting this Monday, I need to be moving.
- I am temporarily not accepting commissions... not that I've gotten any anyways. If you want one, go ahead and contact me about it and stuff- but at this time, I can make no guarantee on when I will be able to work on one.
What does it mean for you?
Those of you that are my patrons, worry not. If it takes me more than a couple weeks to get myself back on track and start trusting myself enough to go back to writing, I'll put a freeze on my "campaign" to keep you from getting charged when I'm not delivering.
Those of you that only read here, you probably won't notice anything, except that I will likely respond to fewer comments and use smaller responses.
Have a good read!
Ok
It's a trite saying, but there's a reason we say "be the change you want to see in your life". I'm proud of you mate, and I wish you all the luck in the world.
Not that you need it...
I'm still quite alarmed by the fact that you feel so little for yourself, but it's quite uplifting to know that you want to change and plan to do something about it (the latter being where most people, including me, tend to fall flat). But you DO have worth even if you don't necessarily feel useful right now.
I hope it goes well, whatever you plan to do. And of course, if anything does happen to you, I suspect that the rest of us will have to emulate Orpheus' feat and haul you back to the land of the living whether you want it or not!
Oh, one last thing...
*attempts to hug depressed author through the Internet*
*fails because of short arms, also because the Internet is not material*
...I'll have to try again later.