Friendship is Card Games: My Little Pony: The Manga, Ch. 7 & 8

Pony Life has yet to emerge from the primordial ooze, so this week we’ll close out the first volume of the OEL manga. Let’s see what there is to be seen.

Chapter 7

We knew ponies had the concepts of science-fiction and space travel thanks to “A Flurry of Emotions” and the Alien Alicorns vs. Space Pirates series, but it’s interesting to see them apply it to cinema. I do have to wonder how good the special effects are. Applewood obviously relies on practical effects, but there is the question of how magic factors into it.

I do have to love Pinkie thinking you need a trenchcoat to buy tickets for horror movies. If no one calls her on this sort of thing, she’s never going to learn.

I thought the Crusaders would be caught too. Don’t you have to present your tickets to get into the actual theater? I suppose whoever’s taking them isn’t getting paid enough to care about foalhood trauma. Or was part of the

Oh hey, callback to Chapter 2, with Star Dancer the definitely-not-a-space-pony.

Of course the aliens invaded Manehattan. Hostile extraterrestrials are drawn to New York City likes moths to a candle.

I understand, Star Dancer. Thinking about the tactical absurdities of the movie help you look past the horror. But telling three fillies “I could do a better job of laying waste to the country than those posers” is the opposite of comforting.

A great detail with the Crusaders’ different mouthwriting. Apple Bloom writes in all capitals, Sweetie Belle in cursive, and Scootaloo writes like she’s designing comic book logos. And Cheerilee writes like she’s had enough of this crap. I can hardly blame her.

“It’s the duty of our Cutie Mark Paranormal Investigation Club (that we just made up five minutes ago) to seek out the truth!”
This is an amazing line. As is Mayor Mare awarding “totally cool medals to add to your distinguished collection of totally awesome awards and accolades!”

Also, the guards taking away Star Dancer have me imagining Equestrian XCOM. You know, the fully local version, not Stardust or XCOM: Ranger.

Ah, stalking, the time-honored Ponyville pasttime. If it’s good enough for Princess Twilight, it’s good enough for us!

Oh, Scootaloo… Got to love it when evidence to the contrary also supports your position. That’s how you know you’re right.

In case it wasn’t clear, this is after the Crusaders get their marks. Goes to show that you’re never to old for shenanigans.

Luring three girls to her isolated home with promises of cake… Star Dancer, you really need to think a bit more carefully about how this will look.

Okay, the bobbling antennae I get. But the slicked-back hair, the cape, the fangs… Why does Star Dancer seem to think aliens are vampires?

Huh. Aliens, time travelers… All we need is an esper and we’re all set for the Melancholy of Pinkuhi Piezumiya. Though I do have to wonder what Star Dancer’s agency intends to do in this time period.
Also, very wise of Star Dancer to mislead Pinkie. Without pointing her in the wrong direction, her uncovering Star Dancer’s real secret would only be a matter of time.

Heh. Pinkie is a walking case of “does not compute.” Which, ironically, makes perfect sense.

And we end on an ominous note. Star Dancer doesn’t seem to realize just who she’s working for. This may not end well…

Also, I remain disappointed that pony lawnmowers don’t come with salad dressing dispensers.

Chapter 8

Okay, this one’s already opening on a wonderfully meta note, with both Pinkie and Discord noticing the medium shift. And the latter does so while winding his way around the panels… and going for a more “authentic” flavor. Oh, this should be good.

Not only do we open on the Apple Family ninjas, even the page titles have gotten the full treatment. We go from playful puns to “Astonishing! We’re All Manga Style Now?”
Also, apple ninjas. With apple shuriken, trowel kunai, and cutie mark hitai-ate. This is amazing.

So is Granny Smith as the impossibly powerful old mentor figure. Thankfully, we never get to the part where Grand Pear orchestrates a hidden assault on Ponyville-cho and Granny has to fight the reanimated corpses of Bright Macintosh and Buttercup.

Seriously, Applejack, never complain when a prophecy actually gives concrete, specific information.

I get the feeling some people would’ve preferred this as the canon high school AU over Equestria Girls.

Twilight? Late? On a frequent basis? Discord must have pushed his magic to the limit to pull that off.

“Pinkie Pie, who I swear I’ve seen do things that even my ninjutsu trained eyes can’t explain.”
I’m pretty sure this implies that Pinkie has a Stand. I’m going to call it Crocodile Rock until informed otherwise.

And Fluttershy’s waifu status translates from our reality into hers.

I do have to love how nopony seems to register the alicorn in the student body. Including the one looking for a legendary heroine.

Oh. Well. I have to say, Spike makes out better in this setting than in EqG.

The Twicane. The magical girl scepter is the freaking Twicane. The writer knew exactly what he was doing.

Funny how a naked transformation sequence doesn’t have the same iffy implications when a pony does it.
Also, does Applejack count as the cute mascot character who empowers the magical girl?

I have to love the malice in Twilight’s “we’ll do this together” declaration. Less “your friendship empowers me” and more “if I have to go another round with that thing, I’m taking all of you with me.” Either way, they get a giant mecha.
… Wait, what?

And Celestia’s somehow unaffected. Interesting. Have we ever actually seen her get mentally manipulated by Discord’s magic in canon? Plus, now I wonder if he’s been watching this unfold from the Elemental Plane of Flashbacks and she just noticed someone's in there…

Yeah, chopsticks were definitely invented by unicorns. Eastern unicorns specifically. Though it’s interesting to see that sushi is even a thing in Equestria, even moreso that unicorns enjoy it. I’ve seen pegasi portrayed as pescatarian in the past, but unicorn carnivory is a lot less common.

In any case, this was some truly delightful, zany fun. Random, yes, but with heart behind it. I only hope I can say the same for Pony Life when it eventually does premiere. For now, let’s see what I can make from this:

Fall of the Gavel W
Instant
Other players can’t vote this turn.
Draw a card.
“Next item of business.”
—Apple Bloom

Counterinvasion Force 2WW
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
If a nontoken creature entered the battlefield under an opponent’s control and wasn’t cast this turn, you may cast Counterinvasion Force as though it had flash and pay W rather than pay its mana cost.
Flying
3/3

Explicit Prophecy UU
Sorcery
Draw two cards and reveal them.
Fed up with cryptic wording and vague images, the Mutsu clan’s ancestral seers refused to give the kami any more cider unless they told the future in plain language.

Abduction Beam 1U
Instant
Return target creature to its owner’s hand. You get EE (two energy counters).
“Completely ludicrous. Actual tractor beams would… Uh, never mind.”
—Star Dancer, covert chronoagent

Tardy Student 1U
Creature — Unicorn Citizen
Tardy Student enters the battlefield tapped.
Tardy Student doesn’t untap during your untap step unless it’s equipped.
U, T: Transform Tardy Student.
Fate arrives on its own schedule.
1/3
Maiden of Destiny
(U) Creature — Wizard
Alicorn (This is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying
U, T, Return an artifact you control to its owner’s hand: Return target creature to its owner’s hand.
1U: Untap Maiden of Destiny.
3/3

Orchard Shinobi 2U
Creature — Pony Ninja
Ninjutsu 1U (1U, Return an unblocked attacker you control to your hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking.)
Whenever Orchard Shinobi deals combat damage to a player, add CC. Until end of turn, you don’t lose this mana as steps and phases end.
2/1

Elusive Draconequus 3U
Creature — Chimera
Elusive Draconequus can’t be blocked except by silver-bordered creatures.
Elusive Draconequus has hexproof as long as you control another silver-bordered permanent.
“The sane tell themselves they can’t see me. Better for both of us, really.”
3/2

Mutsu-Clan Protector 3U
Creature — Pony Ninja
Flash
When Mutsu-Clan Protector enter the battlefield, exile any number of other target Ninjas you control. Return those cards to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step.
The soldiers thought they’d caught the clan off-guard. All they found were logs.
3/2

Covert Chronoagent 4U
Creature — Pony Rogue
1U: Exile Covert Chronoagent with a time counter on it.
Suspend 2—1U (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay 1U and exile it with two time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, cast it without paying its mana cost. It has haste.)
3/3

Voidfang Drifter 2B
Creature — Vampire Horror
Flying
Whenever Voidfang Drifter deals damage to a creature or player, you may remove a counter from that creature or player.
“The beasts floating in the gaps between stars make Equestria’s troubles seem minor indeed.”
—Princess Luna
2/2

Psychic Aberration 2BB
Creature — Horror
When Psychic Aberration enters the battlefield, each player discards a card.
Pinkie’s mind is an ocean of overly sweet fruit punch. Like any ocean, its depths are pitch-black and filled with freakish life.
4/3

Chakra-Pulse Elder 3BB
Creature — Pony Ninja
Ninjutsu 1BB
First strike
Whenever Chakra-Pulse Elder deals combat damage to a player, creatures that player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.
2/2

Scourge of Manehattan 3BBB
Creature — Horror
Menace, deathtouch
When Scourge of Manehattan enters the battlefield, destroy all creatures of the creature type of your choice. Put a +1/+1 counter on Scourge of Manehattan for each creature destroyed this way.
2/2

Astral Invader 4BB
Creature — Horror
Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you get E. If Astral Invader dealt damage to that creature this turn, you get EE instead.
T, Pay EEE: Target opponent loses 4 life.
4/4

Magus of the Invasion 2R
Creature — Pony Wizard Minion
All creatures block each combat if able.
The attacking player chooses how each creature blocks each combat.
“The hologlobe will only tell you so much. I keep the important details to myself.”
2/3

Late for School G
Instant
The next creature spell you cast this turn can be cast as though it had flash. Create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
“The slice of toast is essential.”
—Discord

Invasion from Beyond 2G
Sorcery
Each player may choose a creature card they own from outside the game and put it onto the battlefield.
The Mending disrupted every interplanar portal in the Multiverse, but more can always be made.

Crop Circles 2GG
Sorcery
Kicker — Pay EE. (You may pay an additional EE as you cast this spell.)
Search your library for two basic land cards and put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle your library. If this spell was kicked, untap those lands.

Shy Heartthrob 3G
Creature — Pegasus Citizen
Hexproof
All creatures able to block Shy Heartthrob do so.
The only way other students dare approach her is as an overwhelming mob.
2/2

Mystical Wand 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+1.
4: Transform equipped creature. (Only double-faced cards can be transformed.)
Equip 1
“It’s like a handheld full moon.”
—Arlinn Kord

Colossus of Unity 9
Artifact Creature — Construct
Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for 1 or one mana of that creature's color.)
Colossus of Unity’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of creatures on the battlefield.
*/*

Meddling Fillies WUB
Creature — Pony Child
As Meddling Fillies enters the battlefield, choose a nonland card name.
Spells with the last chosen name can’t be cast.
Discard a card with the last chosen name: Meddling Fillies’s controller chooses a nonland card name except they can’t choose a name already chosen for Meddling Fillies. Any player may activate this ability.
3/3

Spikezilla, Apex of Might 3BRG
Legendary Creature — Dragon
Mutate 4(bg)RR (If you cast this spell for its mutate cost, put it over or under target non-Human creature you own. They mutate into the creature on top plus all abilities from under it.)
Trample
Whenever this creature mutates, double its power and toughness until end of turn.
6/6

Comments

[Arkonfleight]

Covert Chronomancer is excellent, a little disappointed Voidfang Drifter specifies creature so it can't knock another counter off walkers, but Spikezilla is the winner here. Mutate just isn't ludicrous enough...

[DangerDean]

Here's some cards that might be useful:

DangerDean, Storm of Equestria 2RRWW
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Vigilance, double strike
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, DangerDean, Storm of Equestria gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is converted mana cost of that spell.
"If anypony dares to make Equestria's day a living misery, They will meet my wings... and my sword!"
4/4

Blade of Danger 3
Arifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has double strike.
Equip 2
"Sometimes, the best way to defeat your enemies is to attack them twice.
—DangerDean, Storm of Equestria

Oscura Galaxia 3WBR
Legendary Creature — Unicorn
1R: Oscura Galaxia gets +1/+0 until end of turn
3W: You gain 3 life.
4BB: Creatures you control have protection from white.
She feels all hate and anger in Equestria
4/3

[Reese]

"But telling three fillies “I could do a better job of laying waste to the country than those posers” is the opposite of comforting."
Now, one might say that of course one shouldn't take talk like that seriously. But then one might remember exactly which three fillies one was talking about, and where they live...

[FanOfMostEverything]

5284332
Note: Inviting me to review your cards is like inviting Estee to review your stories. Remember, you asked for it.

You have to be very careful with double strike. Like infect, it, well, doubles the potency of power buffs. With one Rush of Blood, DangerDean can swing for 28 damage. (His trigger resolves before the spell, making him a 7/7, then Rush makes him a 14/7.) Yes, at six mana, four of which is specific colors, he should be good, but this feels a bit much. Consider just giving him prowess.

Similarly, Blade of Danger is a Fireshrieker on steroids. Compare Embercleave. Yes, the Blade doesn't have flash or give trample, but when your nonlegendary three-drop compares favorably to Excalibur, you may have a problem.

Oscura... is actually underwhelming. A 4/3 for six with no evasion or protection isn't much, the firebreathing's expensive, the repeatable life gain is okay but very expensive, and that last ability... Going by the cost, I assume the missing "until end of turn" is deliberate. This is a bad idea. Not only does it do nothing if your opponent isn't playing white, it introduces some nasty memory issues once you play some more creatures... I think. Not sure if you're going for "Creatures you control gain protection from white" or "Creatures you control have protection from white for the rest of the game." Either way, niche and inadvisable. Plus, the abilities don't really gel.

[DangerDean]

5284346
It just an idea, also I like Spikezila!

[Herald of Opera]

trowel kunai

To be fair, half the point of kunai was to be passed off as a trowel until they're lodged in your kidneys so that you could kill a guy with a trowel while disguised as a farmer who would have every right to be carrying a trowel, and that being a situation you could reasonably expect to come up regularly. (Edited for accuracy)

Though it’s interesting to see that sushi is even a thing in Equestria, even moreso that unicorns enjoy it.

The raw fish bits are sashimi, the stuff around it is the actual sushi. This is completely fine.

For now, let’s see what I can make from this:

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Fall of the Gavel is a subtle entry into the "White Doesn't Get Nice Things" catalog; it's strictly worse than its blue equivalent due to the existence of Council's dilemma (the two are identical for the purposes of the original Will of the council effects)

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Cards like Counterinvasion Force normally specify "nontoken" because tokens can't be cast. Since it doesn't, there's nothing stopping you from triggering it during your turn without their consent by giving them a token, although I'm not sure this is actually worth doing. (The linked card is actually part of a horizontal cycle, but I picked the one that shares its color identity for the Commander folks. I almost labeled this a Protection From Editors Alert, because breaks from normal templating qualify for those)

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: No, there isn't anything preventing you from recasting the artifact you bounced for Maiden of Destiny. Yes, there are artifacts that tap for more mana than they actually cost. No, none of them can singlehandedly pay for both that ability and her built-in untap by themselves, not even with the colorwashing to make up for the fact that they don't make colored mana. You don't have to go infinite to be powerful, okay?

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Colossus of Unity counts the entire battlefield, not just your own creatures. The latter is still probably making up a sizable chunk of its power given that you included a convoke creatureball in your deck, but that doesn't mean you should completely forget about everyone else's.

Inside Baseball Alert: Oh look, another entry in an Ikoria cycle that canon isn't likely to finish any time soon. (The last time they actually did the other half of a tri-color legendary cycle was in Time Spiral block, which doesn't count as a precedent for anything)