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For the Glory of All Yaks · 9:29pm Mar 16th, 2020

The title of this post is apparently what "For the Benefit of Yaks" translates to in French. Well, maybe not perfectly, but I approve regardless.

I mention this because For the Benefit of Yaks has actually been translated into French!

This probably doesn't affect most who read my blog posts, but I am glad that I have managed to write something that people think (well, at least one person thinks it) is worth spending this much effort to share. Or even, honestly, worth looking at for longer than a brief glance (let alone long enough to translate it).

On a related note, it is apparent that a lot of readers are disappointed with the ending of For the Benefit of Yaks. I think this despite claims that it isn't really – or at least much of – an issue because a lot of readers mention it.

I haven't focused on writing much recently, but not because I've decided to quit the hobby or site or anything; I've been spending my time in other places, and I am going to continue to do so for the foreseeable near future. I won't make any promises here, but I've still thought about giving the story a better ending. Even before I posted the story, I knew it was the weakest piece.

That said, nobody has given me an opinion on what was wrong with it more detailed than some form of "It didn't seem strong enough.".

So, I ask anyone who'd be willing to give me some (preferably specific) feedback on this matter: What do you want from the ending? What did you expect from the end before you read it? Is there anything else that left a hole in your reading experience that you think should be addressed? While I'm at it, anything else you'd really like to say about improving the story?

Comments ( 4 )

Congratulations on the translation! I don't think anyone has done that with one of my works, so maybe your appeal is a little more universal.

As for the ending, I'd have to get back to you on that after rereading it.

Looking back at the story, I'd say the biggest necessary change is working Luna into the actual text and not just as a footnote at the end. She is very notable in her absence throughout the whole endeavor.

True, and that might lend itself to a stronger ending itself. That said, I'm not entirely sure the best way to work her into the story proper; her role and lack of direct involvement are rooted in the politics that I kept at a distance... mostly as headlines. That said, a headline or two and a few more mentions in-text as appropriate seem to be the likely result of my current thinking, but that also seems a little lacking as a solution.

Would you mind being a little more specific about what questions you want to see addressed about Luna's presence/absence?

Unfortunately, most of those questions are ultimately political. Comes with being a princess. Still, getting Luna's opinion on the space race and whether anyone considers Nightmare Moon counts as the first sapient on the satellite would both be nice, as well as any reason she may have for letting it all unfold with minimal interference. Heck, a few op-ed columns on her take on the proceedings could be very interesting.

"The yak vessel would have been very successful were the planet not in the way. We regret we cannot aid them in addressing this particular system fault."

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